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Chapter

Lillian looked at me with a bright, smiling gaze.

“Come on, Tina. Give it a try.”

On the spoon held out in front of me was a steaming bowl of warm soup.

Lillian seemed to be waiting for me to open my mouth, but I simply stared at her with a chilling glare.

“…Put it away.”

“Aren’t you hungry? I put a lot of effort into cooking this, you know.”

I was hungry.

My throat was dry and parched, and my empty stomach was crying out for food.

Clang—

However, I callously swatted away the spoon she extended. The spoon fell to the floor, and the hot soup spilled uselessly across the cold ground.

“I told you to put it away, Saint.”

I scoffed at the Saint with a twisted smile.

Just a moment ago, I had reached out like a dog in fear of her violence, but now, with that pain in the past, a rebellious spirit surged within me once more.

She had definitely stated it directly. That she wouldn’t inflict the same lowly and ruthless violence on me as before.

With that in mind, I had no reason to obey Lillian.

“Hmm… This is troublesome.”

Lillian looked at me with slightly lowered eyes for a moment and then slowly reached a hand toward my face.

“Eek.”

My body instinctively flinched as her white palm approached, but she simply brushed my hair behind my ear and stepped back quietly.

“Don’t worry, Tina. I promised not to hit you like before.”

“….”

“If you don’t want to, then I can’t help that.”

Lillian placed the fallen spoon back onto the tray before standing up.

“Alright, then the first training will start with dining etiquette.”

“…What?”

“Tina is my pet, after all? So I have to train you in the basics.”

“Who’s your pet, Saint? What a real weirdo you are.”

“…”

Lillian’s pink eyes sank deep as she stared at my lower belly.

Under that calm and cold gaze, I instinctively trembled and took a step back.

“Oh, you said you wouldn’t hit me for sure…”

“…Of course.”

Lillian stood up with a slight smile.

“There’s nothing more important than trust between a master and a pet.”

Leaving behind that somewhat absurd statement, Lillian turned back toward the direction she came from and opened the only door in the room. Just before stepping outside, she seemed to remember something and turned to look at me.

“Oh, and Tina. You won’t be able to talk to that friend here.”

“…What?”

“This is my house. And this space was prepared just for you after I returned to the Empire.”

A friend? Does Lillian really know about her existence inside me?

Come to think of it, the voice I had always heard was no longer there. My head, which had always been filled with chilling laughter, was now infinitely quiet.

“So, Tina, just wait patiently. If you listen well next time, I’ll give you plenty of compliments.”

“…Huh? Who would want compliments from a creep like you?”

“Hehe, then I’ll be going.”

Lillian lightly ignored my mocking words and exited.

With a loud bang, the door closed, and deep silence enveloped me.

I sat there in silence, wondering how long it had been.

“Pfft.”

The laughter I had been suppressing finally burst out.

I doubled over, holding my stomach, laughing heartily. The chains binding my ankles clanked noisily, as if in tune with my mood.

“Sorry, Saint.”

Lillian genuinely seems to want to tame me.

It’s curious whether a saint can harbor such a sinister desire, but the sticky gaze she directed at me was no less than Mardian’s obsession.

Of course, I had no intention of complying with Lillian’s wishes.

“You seem to be missing something.”

By only binding my legs and leaving me alone, Lillian clearly didn’t realize that I had no attachment to life.

Corrupting the pure hearts of young ladies with greed, harboring a malicious intent to poison the saint, and shattering a mother’s love to pieces.

My soul was already stained black.

A charred soul can never cross the threshold to heaven and will fall into the abyss of hell, never to escape from there again.

Yet, I didn’t care.

My real mother would be waiting for me in hell. I could cross that threshold without hesitation.

Even if the days there were painful, just being with my mother would be enough for me.

For me, the most lethal thing is not any pain, but loneliness.

‘… It must hurt a lot, right?’

I wasn’t particularly good at enduring pain, but considering the peace that would follow a brief suffering, it didn’t seem like such a bad choice.

I stuck out my tongue.

And without a moment’s hesitation, I bit down as hard as I could.

Crack!

With a sound as if something had broken, an excruciating sharp pain shot through my mouth.

“Ugh, ouch…!”

Tears welled up in my eyes from the unbearable, acrid pain.

But the pain gradually faded, and all that remained was the warmth of blood spreading gently.

I slowly closed my eyes and lay down on the floor.

Blood began to flow from my mouth like a river.

“Heh, heh… You’ll suffer all your life from guilt until you die.”

An extreme choice made because I couldn’t stand the confinement.

To Lillian’s eyes, it would likely just look like that.

You killed me, Lillian.

I hope I remain in your memory as an everlasting guilt.

“Ugh, die, Lillian…”

As I poured out mockery and curses in my mind, hoping to leave eternal pain with Lillian, that was when it happened.

The floor, stained with my blood, began to glow softly, and from that spot, a pure white stem shot up vigorously.

“…Huh?”

As I blinked in confusion, a stem the thickness of my wrist charged directly at me.

Its end was toward my mouth.

“Ugh, huh?!”

The pure white stem forced its way into my mouth and then continued to penetrate deep into my body without stopping.

“Ugh?! Gack… cough, cough…!”

My throat, esophagus, and all the way deep inside. That unknown stem burrowed through me without restraint.

I felt like I was about to explode with heat, my whole body started to tremble.

The stem that filled my mouth shone brightly once before scattering like particles of light and seeping into the ground.

“Urk… ugh…”

I collapsed onto the floor on all fours, gasping for air.

My body was still hot from the heat left by that stem, but strangely, it didn’t hurt.

Rather, I felt lighter.

Something feels off.

“Uh… huh?”

In a panic, I stuck my tongue out to check. My tongue, which had vividly felt the pain before, now had no trace of even a slight ache.

Not only pain. The red droplets that had incessantly flowed had seemingly vanished without a trace.

“No way….”

Did the lights from just before heal me?

As doubt surged, a cold chill ran down my spine.

Without hesitation, I stuck my tongue out and bit down again with all my might.

“Ugh…!”

A numbing pain stimulated my tongue again, and the metallic taste of blood spread in my mouth.

This time, I blocked my mouth with both hands to prevent the red liquid from falling to the floor.

But even so, the floor began to softly glow once more.

At that moment, the damned light began to rise from the floor and violently surged toward me.

“I-I don’t want that… don’t come!”

I thrashed to escape the light, but there was nowhere to run in this confined space.

In the end, the flow of light came right in front of my face.

I desperately tried to keep my mouth firmly shut, but the light seeped through the tiny gaps in my lips and filled my entire mouth.

“Ugh…! Ugh…! Ugh…!”

The light filled my mouth harshly and mercilessly healed my tongue’s wounds before vanishing without leaving a trace.

“W-what?!”

My mind turned completely blank.

After that, I tried every means to harm myself. But each time, the light would effortlessly cover my body, healing any wound instantly.

Ultimately, the more I attempted self-harm, the more my body grew healthier, and the only thing that remained was the pain like I was on the verge of death.

“This… this won’t do…”

The last remnants of calm in my heart disappeared without a trace, replaced by restlessness and anxiety filling the void.

[This space was specially prepared just for Tina.]

“I can’t die…?”

Baulking in despair, my voice faded helplessly.

Lillian must have anticipated my immediate self-harming actions.

Just how deeply must she have seen through me? And how did she know so much about me?

Now that I couldn’t fathom Lillian’s inner thoughts, her existence felt infinitely terrifying.

And as I deeply felt that I couldn’t die, the suppressed fear began to burst forth from within.

“I’m… hungry…”

I’m hungry.

I’m thirsty.

I’m cold.

And I’m lonely.

“I… I’m lonely… where are you? Come out…”

Desperately, I called out to an old friend, but as Lillian said, there was no reply.

“P-please… show yourself. I don’t want to be alone… I’ll give you anything you want. Please…”

The fact that her presence, which had always been with me, was unreachable filled me with profound helplessness and loneliness.

Creak—

Nervously, I bit my thumb.

“If… if Lillian comes back, I’ll try talking once more…”

She definitely said she would come back.

No matter how much Lillian has changed, her nature would surely still be good.

If I can make good use of that point, there must certainly be a way.

If there’s no other path, I’ll just sincerely beg for forgiveness.

If I genuinely promise Lillian never to do anything bad again, she will surely let me go.

Of course, I don’t really mean it, but it’s easy for me to convey sincerity to make it seem genuine.

“L-Let’s wait… she’ll be here soon…”

But no matter how long I waited.

Lillian did not come to find me.

 

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