Chapter 8
Tap.
As Vivian set down the dishes, the sound echoed through the spacious dining hall.
“…”
She bit her lip, sitting at the head of the long table.
Her eyes wandered over the empty dining space.
Once, this table was filled with life.
Her father, mother, and brother all gathered around.
And the busy maids scurrying about, adding to the lively atmosphere.
But now, Vivian was alone.
No one to share a meal with, no one to converse with.
No one to share laughter, daily life, or even petty quarrels.
The drop felt painfully immense.
And it would remain that way.
Because there was no one left to share the table with the head of the Rondore family.
If anyone were left, it would be Lady Linne or perhaps a few other mentors.
But they too had their own families, so there was no need to dine with Vivian.
“…”
When you eat alone, you come to realize the food tastes terrible.
For a day or two it might not matter… but three meals a day, day after day, eating alone makes you lose your appetite.
Every time she put food in her mouth, it felt like she was also swallowing emptiness, and it was almost unbearable.
So, Vivian set down her utensils once more, having barely touched the food, and wiped her mouth.
“…I-I finished.”
Her stuttering was just as bad as ever.
The only thing that changed since Lady Linne’s lessons was that she felt more worthless for her stutter.
…
Slap!!
“Ugh…”
Vivian bit her lip and endured the lash from Lady Linne.
Getting hit repeatedly on the same bruise never gets any easier.
But if she made a sound, she’d get hit more, so she had to suppress her whimpering.
“…Again.”
“…Goblins are creatures that cause great harm to the… the… territory if the extermination is delayed…”
Slap!!
“Ugh…”
“…Again.”
“…”
Vivian glanced sideways at Lady Linne.
She had her forehead propped up, eyes closed, evaluating Vivian’s reading.
Lately, Lady Linne had been infusing emotion into the punishments due to Vivian’s lack of improvement.
Vivian could feel it distinctly.
Whether it was punishment for punishment’s sake or punishment to vent her anger… it was surprisingly easy to tell apart.
“Ha.”
Sure enough, it wasn’t long before Lady Linne wrapped up the lesson.
“That’s enough for today, Lady Vivian. It’s time for your economics lesson now.”
It was an earlier end than usual, but Vivian didn’t complain. She’d do anything to get through this hellish time.
“…”
But just how long would she have to endure this?
Her speech showed no signs of improvement, and she couldn’t even complain about the pain.
They said this lesson would last until she came of age… Was it truly possible to endure until then?
Even just a month, and it felt this hard…
“…I hope next time is better than today.”
“…”
There was no sign of hope. That made it all the more painful for her.
…
“A notice of demand.”
The treasurer, Brinden, said as he sifted through a document.
“It’s a letter from Count Korod asking for repayment of the grains and gold borrowed from the Rondore family.”
“…B-but I don’t have anything to give right now.”
“I know. It can’t be helped. We’ll have to ask for more time.”
“…”
“It feels like there are more notices of demand since you became the head of the family, Lady Vivian. How unfortunate…”
Brinden muttered.
He was also one of the people who opposed the declaration of not appointing a regent.
Perhaps that’s why his tone seemed to give a hint of resentment.
Was it because the head of the family was being looked down upon?
But it was hard to argue against that point.
At some level, it was a valid point.
Vivian sighed. The pressure weighing on her chest felt like it was giving her a headache.
…
“A-a death sentence trial?”
“Yes. You need to stamp it, Lady Vivian.”
“…Me?”
“That authority lies only with the lord.”
“…”
Sir Baelor, the commander of the 1st Knight Order, handed over the document and requested confirmation.
It was the execution order for a death row inmate.
The moment she stamped it, someone’s life would be taken away.
“…”
No matter how bad a person was, the weight of a life still felt heavy for Vivian.
Just thinking about stamping it made her hands tremble.
Just a few months ago, she was far removed from such responsibilities.
Caring for her mother, occasionally looking at flowers, catching the wind.
Now she had to manage money and people’s lives.
“Please take out the stamp.”
Sir Baelor urged.
The maids were all watching, waiting for Vivian’s decision.
Vivian took out the stamp from the desk, feeling the weight of it in her hand.
It was the stamp only the head of the Rondore family could possess.
It felt heavier than she expected, unfamiliar in her hand.
“…”
-Tremble tremble…
Vivian’s hand shook as she tried to press the stamp onto the document.
Stamping it would mean she was killing someone for the first time.
-Ugh!
-Thud.
Vivian lost the stamp due to a sudden wave of nausea.
At the same time, tears welled in embarrassment.
“Ugh!”
But the nausea wouldn’t stop.
Watching this, Sir Baelor let out a quiet sigh.
“…Ha.”
Vivian’s heart sank with that short sigh.
There was an atmosphere the adults presented in front of her, and it kept stacking up.
It felt like lately everyone was looking down on her.
None of them understood her sudden and hard predicament.
What Lady Linne said about showing weakness and being looked down upon was true, but… she didn’t want to find out like this.
-Swish.
“I’ll come again next time.”
Seeing Vivian about to gag, Sir Baelor packed up the documents and turned to leave.
…
Vivian was sitting before the grave of the Rondore Duchess.
She had so much to say, but upon arriving at this place, she could only maintain silence for a while.
Part of her found solace in that silence…
…but another part was upset with her stuttering and found it hard to express any weakness.
A month was enough time for her to absorb various habits.
Though it was preparation to be the head of the Rondore family, Vivian felt like she was losing herself.
“…D-did you want this?”
Before her mother, whom she hadn’t seen in a long time, Vivian couldn’t muster graceful words.
Lady Linne was appointed as her educator by her mother. There had even been a will allowing strict punishments.
“Y-you’re too harsh. W-why did you do this…?”
Vivian gently rubbed her bruised arm.
Because it was her mother’s will, it was hard to rebel against Lady Linne. That was the reason she ended up being bullied like a fool.
Vivian hugged her knees and buried her face there.
“…I-it’s okay if it’s hard, mother.”
She whispered.
“…I-I can endure the pain…”
For the first time in a while, she showed some weakness.
“I-I suppose I could get used to the loneliness…”
Vivian’s voice gradually became dampened.
“B-but… it’s… h-hurtful and… ugh… lonely… it’s too, too painful.”
Drip-drip, tears fell again.
“…A-adults… ugh… they’re too scary.”
Today, walking around the castle, she had heard whispers along the walls from someone.
It might have been a maid, or one of the retainers, or even one of the mentors.
She couldn’t identify who, but they whispered.
That it should have been Vivian Rondore, not Lois Rondore, who died.
If that had been the case, Roktana and the Rondore family wouldn’t be in such turmoil.
It would have been fitting to capture that person, punish them, and exile them from the territory for such a comment… but with her torn self-esteem, Vivian fled as soon as she heard.
Part of her might have felt that there was some truth to that statement.
If it were her brother, not her, who was alive, he would have managed this place well.
Because he had been called the future of Rondore.
Vivian wiped her tears with the back of her hand and quietly gazed at the grave.
This place was the domain of Rondore, yet no one from the Rondore family welcomed her.
No one understood her plight.
Everyone saw her as merely a tool. From that perspective, Vivian was a broken tool.
A tool with no use anywhere.
In the midst of the silence, Vivian tentatively asked the question she had pondered for a long time.
“…Mother.”
The question that came to mind each time she bore up.
“C-can I… come over there too?”
The grave gave no answer.
****
“…C-can I too… come over there?”
Vivian’s lament that she happened to overhear.
I didn’t react at all.
“…”
I didn’t know how to react, nor what to do.
Confused, I turned away and walked in the opposite direction.
Vivian sitting in front of the grave gave an impression like a candle.
Her red hair was blown about by the wind, giving off the feeling that it could be extinguished at any moment.
Seeing a person resembling a corpse was probably speaking about such a sight.
Since I realized her arms were full of bruises, her changes came crashing closer to me.
Recently, her complexion had truly worsened.
And the worse her complexion became, the more I sought her out.
I had been thinking about it recently.
I didn’t know which expression was preferable, her angry expression or her sad one.
But now I understood.
I’d prefer her to be angry at me.
At least that way, there wouldn’t be any lingering discomfort when I turned away.
When she was angry, it didn’t give me the feeling that she would drop dead like that.
“…”
My chest ached a little.
I had been quietly observing her daily life lately.
I witnessed both her efforts and her struggles, each sad attempt shaking me deeply.
Recently, I couldn’t deny feeling guilt either.
Our family could not completely evade responsibility for the life she led.
Her hatred toward me was also understandable.
Given it was war, there was no reason for me to apologize or clean up the situation.
…But I felt a human compassion that wasn’t something I could easily regulate.
Were my father’s words about protecting the weak this sort of feeling?
This was the first time I hazily understood that meaning here.
…
‘…C-can I too… come over there?’
After entering my lodgings and lying on the bed, that words wouldn’t leave my mind.
The tremor in her voice when she spoke was vivid.
I knew for sure.
If she truly chose death, I would never forget this moment for the rest of my life.
It would almost be a curse that would follow me.
She was my enemy, not family, friends, or even acquaintances… but her death would undoubtedly cause me discomfort.
And perhaps that was why my eyes kept seeking her out.
But what was I supposed to do?
I wasn’t in a position to tell her to hang in there. That kind of words would likely do no good.
And I couldn’t even bother the adults, like Lady Linne or the retainers, to improve her treatment.
But…
‘Kyle, if I leave… could you please protect our daughter a bit? Like a knight.’
The voice of the Duchess echoed in my head.
‘I showed you mercy. If you have any conscience, Kyle Allen… you too, show mercy to our family. If I’m gone, and you win the war and trample our family…’
The voice of Lois Rondore, who had been nineteen at the time.
“…Ha.”
In the end, I made a decision.
I would head to Vivian’s room.
I didn’t know what I would say… but I didn’t want to keep worrying and feeling restless.
-“Oh dear. Young master, where are you going?”
At that moment, three boys blocked my way.
They rose slowly from the bed, blocking the entrance with their bodies.
Each of them was bigger than me. They were all two to three years older than I was.
I knew their names vaguely.
The chubby one was Balron, the lanky one was Willas, and the one covered in acne was likely Martin.
They tilted their heads side to side as they approached.
…It seemed today was the day.
A big smile adorned their faces.
Balron spoke.
“We’re late for our introduction, right?”
