Volume 9 Chapter 4: “Otankonas”
“——Madelin?”
Emilia gasped in surprise as she spotted Madelin Eshault boldly walking around the fort, eyes wide as she called out her name.
At that call, the girl with black horns turned her head this way, her cute face scrunching up as if she had just eaten something sour.
Seeing that reaction, Emilia gestured that there was no one around her and said,
“It’s okay, no need to make that face. It’s just me here.”
“……That’s not comforting at all! The dragon makes me look like this!”
“Eh, really? Why’s that?”
“You seriously forgot that you made it snow and fought the dragon and Mezoleia endlessly? There’s no way I’d have a good impression of you!”
Madelin’s golden eyes sharpened as her voice rose. In response to Madelin’s snapping, Emilia thought back on their relationship and nodded lightly, “I see…”
Indeed, Emilia had clashed with Madelin twice during the siege of the castle city and the final battle in the imperial capital. Both were present in the fight against the “Great Calamity,” but they just happened to miss each other there. Now that she thought about it, this was the first time they were calmly exchanging words like this.
“Then, the last time was when I froze you solid, huh?”
“——! So it was you, after all! I couldn’t move at all, it was freezing, freezing, and I almost… what a terrible person!”
“Ugh, I’m sorry. I was planning to thaw you out later, but you ran off with Mezoleia…”
“Don’t blame it on the dragon, human!”
Madelin bared her sharp teeth, seeming ready to bite. Emilia was slightly taken aback by her spirited attitude, but at the same time felt relieved.
At one point, she had heard that Madelin had joined forces with Mezoleia against the “Great Calamity.”
“But in the end, you were on our side, right? I heard from Garfiel.”
“…That half-beast tiger?”
“Yeah, he’s a reliable ally, like a little brother to me. He’s incredibly strong!”
“――――”
As Emilia puffed out her chest proudly, Madelin fell silent with a complex expression. It wasn’t that she doubted Emilia’s words; it conveyed a deeper meaning.
Perhaps it was something close to frustration or embarrassment.
“——Madelin, you’re going to stay as the ‘General’ for the Empire, right?”
“——What, do you have a problem with that?”
“No, not at all! I was just thinking about how Mezoleia has gone back, while you decided to stay.”
Emilia averted her gaze from Madelin, looking out at the sky beyond the fort.
Being such a rare dragon-human, Madelin’s relationship with “Cloud Dragon” Mezoleia was something Emilia did not fully understand. However, if they held great importance to each other, then their relationship seemed akin to that of an elemental spirit and a mage.
If that were the case, Mezoleia was to Madelin what Pack was to Emilia. Deciding to separate from such a person couldn’t be an easy task.
“I’ve felt the same feelings before. When it was my turn, I wasn’t given the choice of whether to stay or go… So I think it’s incredibly brave that you chose to stay, Madelin.”
“Of course! — Don’t compare humans with dragons!”
“Maybe. But maybe not? You’re a dragon-human, yet you still feel bad about separating from someone important, right? Is that it?”
“What a nasty woman…!”
With a bitter face, Madelin said that, and Emilia clutched her chest, feeling a bit hurt.
It was fresh to be called a nasty woman, a term she had never encountered before, and it brought forth painful feelings. Recently, she had been called “half-demon” less frequently and had become more resilient to it. But the fact that the one who had confidently called her “half-demon” was no longer anywhere to be found…
“――――”
“Don’t suddenly go silent! It’s disrespectful in front of a dragon!”
“Yeah, sorry for making you feel lonely.”
“~~!”
Just as Emilia was about to get lost in her thoughts, she quickly apologized, causing Madelin’s face to turn red.
For a moment, she seemed like she was going to say something while maintaining that red-faced expression, but she took a deep breath and glared at Emilia.
“Talking with humans is tiring, but you especially feel that way.”
“I think that’s probably because you get nervous talking to me. Subaru mentioned it once.”
Emilia knew that it made her feel restless to have someone who was often put into a tense position while facing others. Subaru would give excuses like ‘E.M.T.’ and such, but it was likely due to her being a candidate for royal selection and being a half-elf.
“So, to avoid that as much as possible, I try to relax my cheeks.”
Her position as a candidate for the royal selection, her heritage as a half-elf, and her silver hair and purple eyes reminiscent of the “Witch of Envy” couldn’t be changed, so she wanted to at least soften her facial expressions.
With that intention in mind, Emilia asked Madelin, “What do you think?” Madelin sighed again and said,
“Talking to you makes me feel like I made a mistake deciding to stay with you.”
“Uh, I’m fine, really? We’ll be leaving the Empire in a few days…”
“Your presence doesn’t matter!”
Emilia’s round eyes widened as Madelin yelled sharply. In front her, Madelin placed her hands on her hips and gazed out of the fort, as if returning her earlier sentiment.
“This country is where the dragon’s husband… Barloi risked his life to protect.”
“—Yeah.”
Emilia nodded shortly at Madelin’s whispering words.
She had heard about Barloi, the undead with that name, doing a great deal for their cause. When the sky was enveloped in an overwhelming light, he had been among the clouds hovering over the imperial capital.
Emilia had been fighting against the Sphinx, who resembled Echidna too much to pay attention to that.
“It’s a real shame I can’t say thank you.”
“Don’t flirt with the dragon’s husband.”
“Flirt…?”
“Even without gratitude, the dragon’s husband fulfilled his duty. …Until the very end, he wouldn’t let any dragon involve themselves in their desires.”
Hearing Madelin’s thin, lonely voice made Emilia narrow her purple eyes.
Madelin’s feelings, heavy and complex, seemed to resonate within Emilia. More accurately, they connected with her experience.
Because Subaru often made decisions on his own without consulting Emilia.
“But that doesn’t mean you think I’m unreliable or that you don’t like me. It’s because you care, which makes it very troublesome.”
“You…”
“If you didn’t care, then you could change how I feel about being seen as unreliable, as someone disliked. But when you already see me in a positive light, trying to change that is incredibly hard to do.”
“So you’re a sly one. What are we supposed to do about it?”
“…Sly one.”
Upon hearing Emilia’s words, Madelin suddenly looked down as if in deep thought.
Though she didn’t know Barloi well, Emilia felt that the restlessness Madelin held toward him was similar to what she felt for Subaru.
But although their concerns were similar, the answers that Madelin came up with felt distant from Emilia.
Because—
“——I can’t remain in this country protected by Priscilla.”
To say it was for life or death was no exaggeration; Priscilla was one who had undeniably acted to protect it—one who had been Emilia’s “friend,” and it felt surreal that she was gone even after several days.
“———”
It would have been nice to have a relationship where they could call each other friends. Before that could be realized, however, Priscilla had vanished, leaving Emilia with an onus to unilaterally call her that now.
Right before she disappeared, when Emilia and Anastasia had been talking, Priscilla had suddenly appeared, and for the briefest moment, they had shared laughs—Emilia often reflected on that brief moment longingly.
Thinking how peaceful and gentle times like those could’ve continued on for so much longer, she found it hard not to dream about the expectations which could never be fulfilled.
And so, imagining the void left behind by her lost dreams—
“—Eh?”
Suddenly, her arm was pulled, and Emilia was unable to stop herself, falling over. Almost toppling down, her soft head was caught by Madelin’s shoulder.
With a height difference between the two, Emilia’s head rested on Madelin’s shoulder. If she had shifted even a little more, Madelin’s horn would have jabbed Emilia in the face.
“Um, Madelin? You surprised me suddenly…”
Emilia tried to chide Madelin for doing such a thing.
However—
“Don’t you dare cry!”
“———”
That single phrase made Emilia blink, and she then noticed the drops of water spilling onto Madelin’s shoulder where she had nestled her head. For a moment, she didn’t realize what it was, but understanding eventually caught up with her—tears.
It was crystal clear whose tears they were and for what purpose they fell.
“I thought I could be friends with you.”
“———”
“I thought I could get along with Anastasia-san… and that I could properly talk to Felt-chan and Crusch too, and I thought Priscilla was just being stubborn… and finally being able to talk to her now, to continue from here, to have so many more…”
“———”
“I thought I could come to love Priscilla. I wanted to love her.”
Once the tears had spilled, words and feelings began to overflow.
Always dignified, sometimes terribly mean, wearing a know-it-all expression without revealing her true nature, but with a heart that was genuinely kind beneath it all.
Such a person—Emilia wanted to hold Priscilla close and cherish every side of her, both the good and the bad. She wanted to take her time nurturing those feelings.
Emilia found herself grappling with emotions and regrets that overflowed in a tumultuous mix.
“—The dragon will—”
“Eh?”
“The dragon will protect you.”
Gently resting a hand on Emilia’s head, which was spilling tears onto her shoulder, Madelin said. The sheer surprise in Emilia’s tear-filled eyes reflected her shock.
Though they were nearly side by side, their eyes could not meet. Emilia’s face was soaked in tears, and Madelin’s expression remained hidden.
Without revealing that face, Madelin continued.
“The Empire is the country that Barloi protected. The dragon has a reason to protect this place. —Your tears are also for those who lived and died for this country. If that’s the case…”
“…Then?”
“Then the dragon will protect you. Unlike humans, protecting this much is nothing for a dragon.”
Emilia had always thought that important conversations required eye contact. She believed it was an essential rule not to be overlooked when discussing serious matters.
However, at this moment, she felt grateful that they weren’t able to see each other’s faces while saying such important and heartfelt things.
Even precious words could become difficult to articulate if one looked into the other’s eyes.
There were certainly words that could be said because they weren’t looking at each other’s faces, and it felt like Madelin’s words were truly the kind that could only be expressed under such circumstances.
“—Yeah. Thank you so much.”
“That’s just an afterthought. I’m not doing it for the sake of gratitude.”
“I know. But it’s what I want to say. Thank you, Madelin.”
Emilia’s reiterated gratitude was met with a sound like Madelin snorting.
Whether it was truly annoyance or merely a way to hide her embarrassment, Emilia couldn’t gauge as she was unable to see her facial expression. Yet she learned that there was a certain joy in conversations where faces weren’t seen.
She had the opportunity to hold dear such trifles.
And then—
“—Ah! Look, Madelin!”
“Ugah!? ”
That moment, as deep, important emotions settled in her heart.
Emilia spotted a little figure walking down the path directly opposite the fort and, in surprise, grabbed Madelin’s horn, compelling her to turn in the same direction.
Ignoring Madelin’s grunt of discomfort, Emilia became completely absorbed in the sight of this figure— a small boy with pink hair, none other than Priscilla’s attendant, Schult.
“Schult-kun…”
As soon as she locked eyes with him, a rush of squeezing pain gripped her heart.
Priscilla’s death had deeply shaken Emilia, who had envisioned a future together. However, the sorrow of those who had affection for Priscilla outweighed even that.
Though she understood that comparing sorrows and misfortunes only led to sadness, it was still difficult to prevent her heart from hurting.
“—Ah!”
“Oh! You there!”
At that impulsive thought, Emilia kicked off the floor and raced towards the path where Schult was visible. As the panicked sound of Madelin’s voice called after her, she didn’t stop.
She broke through the fortress and rounded to the opposite path and yelled,
“Schult-kun!”
“—Lady Emilia, is that you?”
At the sound of Emilia’s vigorous voice, Schult turned around, his small, slender shoulders trembling.
Facing the young boy, Emilia held her breath before him. His fluffy pink hair and neatly dressed outfit were clean and tidy, yet the fatigue in his red-rimmed eyes betrayed the weariness of pain, and his pallor seemed drained.
Rather than weeping inside, he had come outside.
“…You’ve come outside. That’s amazing…”
Emilia hesitated on whether to continue with words like “impressive” or “brave.”
Having rushed over without pause, she struggled to choose the right words to say now. What Schult needed was comfort, encouragement, or maybe—
“I don’t need you to apologize, Lady Emilia.”
“—Huh?”
“You fulfilled your promise to me.”
With lowered eyelids, Schult murmured this while gazing downward.
Emilia regretted having hesitated to apologize in full view of Schult. — Before the battle against the “Great Calamity,” Emilia had promised Schult that she would bring Priscilla back for him to meet.
She hadn’t fulfilled that promise. It was Priscilla who had brought it to fruition.
But she couldn’t apologize for it. If she did, everything Schult had done and the words Priscilla had said would turn into lies.
“Hey, don’t be so down.”
“…Utakata-chan, you were with Schult-kun.”
Suddenly noticing a girl peeking at her from beside her, Utakata had popped her head up and was looking at her from below.
A precious friend and someone around Schult’s age, it seemed she had chosen to stay with him instead of being separated from the other People of Shudrak.
Utakata nodded quietly at Emilia’s words.
“Me and Ta are busy. Suu and Aa are having a tough time, I’m here with Schu.”
“Yeah, right. Thank you for not leaving Schult-kun all alone.”
“I received the commendation.”
Utakata held out her fist, and feeling something reminiscent of Subaru in her gestures, Emilia lightly bumped her own fist against the outstretched one.
Emilia then turned back to Schult.
“Are you sure you don’t need to be resting in your room yet?”
“…I’ve taken enough rest. Originally, I’m small and weak, so I hardly do any work… So, right now, there are lots of things I want to do.”
“You’re going to do your best, Schu. If you can do that, then Pu’s soul will surely be at peace.”
“That’s right.”
“――――”
Emilia was surprised when Utakata naturally echoed that sentiment, and Schult nodded in agreement.
“Life circulates—both prey and humans, opponents and allies alike. That’s our thinking. U’s mother and Schu’s Pu will circulate again. Surely they will.”
“…So what happens when they circulate?”
“They’ll be born again. In different forms from prey, humans, enemies, and allies. But surely…”
It suggests that the souls of the deceased will circulate, returning to life again.
That was a concept that didn’t quite resonate with Emilia, yet it felt better than the thought of everything ending when someone dies.
When someone dies, the mana that should’ve been in their body drains away and melts into the world’s mana. Even if that’s what reality dictated, if within that melted state, a form or a remnant of that person remained…
“—Is that the ‘Book of the Dead’?”
As she let that thought slip out, Emilia remembered that she had experienced something similar to the proof of what Utakata had told her.
Within the Pleiades Watchtower, in the repository of the “Book of the Dead,” the memories of the deceased were preserved, and many people’s traces from this world stayed firmly intact. The fact that this could be retained was tantamount to a sign that someone had prepared time to transcribe the memories of those who had died into a book.
“———”
For the first time, Emilia felt a strong attachment to the “Book of the Dead.”
That attachment was different from when Subaru’s “memories” had once been lost inside that tower; it represented an attachment that was inherent to the “Book of the Dead” in its original sense.
Emilia had her own share of significant losses which were simply impossible to forget. — Fortuna, Juice, and even if the ice of the Erior Forest melted, there were people she would never get to meet again.
However, regarding her parting from Fortuna and others, though saddening, she had reached a sense of closure.
Thus, what left Emilia feeling attached was the unresolved sorrow; a sorrow that had yet to be overcome.
If it were possible, she wanted to know what thoughts she’d had in her final moments, and if she wished to see the same things that Emilia could still perceive beyond those joyful exchanges—had it not been for her conversations with Madelin.
If she never had time to wrestle alongside someone else who was grappling with the unresolved sentiments left by her parting from Priscilla, it would indeed be…
“I was picked up by Lady Priscilla. She chose me.”
“Schult-kun…”
Before Emilia, who had fallen silent, Schult tightened his cheeks and then slowly lifted his downcast face, speaking with a stutter yet infused with certainty.
His round eyes sparkled with moisture as he pressed on.
“Lady Priscilla loved beautiful and amazing things. If I turned out to be worthless, I would tarnish Lady Priscilla’s name…!”
“———”
“Such a thing is impossible.”
With an ardent declaration, Schult answered with all his might that he could muster. Emilia’s eyes widened.
It may have been an illusion or perhaps a misperception, but for a fleeting moment, in that declaration, it felt like a brilliant light was glowing within Schult.
And that light was no different from the essence of life that Priscilla had embodied.
——That was the moment when Schult determined the course of his life.
From now on, countless hardships would inevitably rain down on Schult. However, he would never falter again nor lose heart.
The reason for that lay in the flame he had kept close, deciding to continue nurturing his own vitality with the very essence of that flame.
“I still can’t do a lot on my own, and I’m studying really hard, but there are so many gaps.”
“Lady Emilia?”
“Even now, and even in the future, I’ll always take from everyone around me, relying on you all to help and support me. I know this is really presumptuous to say, but please, just let me say it.”
“———”
“Going forward, I’ll be there for you, Schult-kun. I’ll definitely be of help.”
Placing her hand over her heart, Emilia spoke directly to the small boy before her.
That was a decision that cast aside the notions of the promise to bring Priscilla back or sympathizing with the vulnerable position Schult found himself in due to the loss of someone dear.
It was a simple demonstration of her wish to support Schult’s stance and way of being.
“…Thank you, Lady Emilia.”
Taking a while to digest Emilia’s words, Schult then slightly loosened his lips in response.
Against his reply, Emilia felt she had made a rash promise that she would eventually need to apologize to Roswaal and Otto about, but she felt it was something worth saying.
“I’m glad you said that. I need to tell others about this… Is Al and Reinhardt’s father around?”
Now that Priscilla was gone, the matter of what would become of the Barielle territory in the Lugnica Kingdom was pressing. Nonetheless, having a thorough discussion about that while still in the Volakia Empire would be difficult.
Especially since Al, like Subaru, had borne witness to Priscilla’s departure.
“—Subaru.”
The fact that she was overwhelmed with everything on her plate made mentioning Subaru’s name quite frustrating.
Before Emilia and the others joined forces in the Empire, Subaru and Rem had already interacted with Priscilla, spending time together during periods unknown to Emilia, and as a result, they had been hurt more than she had.
Ideally, she would have wanted to stay by their side, even holding back her own pain or sadness.
“But now that I’m finally prepared, I can talk about this…”
Emilia resolved to speak with Subaru and Rem and engage in conversation with others who bore emotions of grief.
Emilia became resolved, while Schult added tentatively,
“Al-sama is still locked up in his room. Heinkel-sama is just about to bring some water…”
With that, Schult looked toward the nearby Utakata, who was holding an empty water jug. It seemed like she had planned to fetch water and was headed to Heinkel.
Having taken such a long time with her conversation, Emilia intended to honor the original plan but was suddenly interrupted—
“—Oh, ah!”
Abruptly, a low groan resonated from the far end of the corridor, and Emilia looked up. To her shock, she found herself locking eyes with someone very unexpected—
“Heinkel-sama! You’re out!”
Schult’s voice shot up, calling out to Heinkel, whose messy red hair and unshaven face made it clear that he had been unable to groom himself since the last time they had seen each other. He looked even more fatigued than when the battle against the “Great Calamity” had ended.
His eye sockets appeared quite dark, clearly showing that he hadn’t slept well. Yet, oddly, his sunken blue eyes glared intensely in Emilia’s direction—no, rather at her.
“I’ll bring you water right away…”
“E-Emilia-sama…!”
While saying this, Schult steadied Heinkel, who was staggering. However, Heinkel didn’t even glance at Schult, focusing solely on Emilia instead.
Furrowing her brow, Emilia nodded, “Yes, your complexion looks terrible. Like Schult-kun said, let’s drink some water and take a rest. If you haven’t eaten, I’ll go get you something…”
“No, no, that doesn’t matter… No, it’s not that it doesn’t matter! More importantly, Emilia-sama, I need to talk to you!”
“——!”
As she tried to calm him down and reached out to touch his shoulder, Heinkel grabbed her arm with surprising strength. Startled by the grip, Emilia felt herself choke up as Heinkel leaned in closer.
With his blue eyes, just like Reinhardt’s, sparkling dangerously, Heinkel declared,
“Please… allow me to serve you, Emilia-sama. I promise! I will definitely prove useful in the royal selection!”
“W-What are you saying? So sudden… you’re Priscilla’s attendant, right?”
“I can be useful! I will be the deterrent! There are those we absolutely have to keep at bay to win the royal selection. As long as they are around, there’s no chance of victory for anyone. But if I’m here, Reinhardt won’t be able to do anything—”
“——!”
Caught off guard by Heinkel’s intense demeanor, Emilia found herself momentarily lost for words.
Until now, she had considered her own strength of moving to solve problems quickly as one of her advantages. But Heinkel’s obsessive behavior rendered her speechless.
Seemingly far too intense and utterly selfish—if that was how Heinkel chose to face the fact that Priscilla was no longer with them…
“I feel so terribly sad…”
“I understand, but it’s the truth! You can’t win against Reinhardt without me. Priscilla-dono accepted me. That’s right! The fact that Priscilla-dono did that is the guarantee—Emilia-sama! Let’s together wash away Priscilla-dono’s regrets!”
“———”
If even a shred of heartfelt grief for Priscilla had been in Heinkel’s voice, Emilia might have lent an ear.
But there was no hint of such sentiments felt for Priscilla in Heinkel’s appeal. Had there been, Schult’s sad expression would have been visible.
So, Emilia gritted her lips at Heinkel—
“That’s too far—”
“Silence!”
The next instant, a fierce punch flew in front of Emilia, catching Heinkel right under the jaw and sending his head flying upward with tremendous force. He let out a brief grunt before his eyes rolled back, collapsing onto the floor.
The impact was powerful enough that one could have easily imagined the human’s neck and head separating.
“M-Madelin!?”
“That’s what a pitiful creature deserves. Don’t even think of feeling sorry for someone like that.”
Waving away the hand that had struck Heinkel, Madelin huffed irritably.
Having quietly arrived after Emilia rushed to Schult’s side, it seemed Madelin had reached her limit at this point.
“Heinkel-sama! Heinkel-sama! Are you alright!?”
“Don’t panic. It’s irritating, but a dragon’s serious punch won’t kill a human. Just knocked him out.”
Madelin stated confidently as Schult leapt at the fallen Heinkel, worried for him. Though she said that, it was naturally concerning given the power behind the blow.
However, Emilia understood that she cannot ignore Madelin’s actions.
“Madelin, I…”
“The dragon protects the Empire. But I have no intentions of protecting anything beyond that. Remove this worthless human already. There won’t be a next time.”
“…Yeah, understood.”
Emilia recognized that Madelin’s furious words were her way of drawing a line in the sand. With that understanding, she crouched beside Schult, watching the fallen Heinkel.
Lifting a hand, she gently rested it over Heinkel after having struck him with such force.
“I’m not very good at it, but I’ll at least give first aid before heading to the healing room…”
Activating healing magic, she worried about any aftereffects from Madelin’s powerful blow. As she focused, she noticed Schult glancing anxiously at Heinkel.
“Um, Lady Emilia… Heinkel-sama has been very tired.”
“Schult-kun…”
“Heinkel-sama is definitely sad about Lady Priscilla too. It seems there was an agreement with her, and that’s why he’s feeling a bit overwhelmed…”
“Yeah, it’s okay. I understand.”
As Schult lowered his head, Emilia did her utmost to offer a reassuring smile. It was her hope that it would serve as some type of comfort or encouragement for him.
And while she continued her healing magic on Heinkel, she noticed Utakata, balancing a water jug atop her head, was staring at her with wide eyes.
“Yay, you’re amazing.”
Utakata’s casual comment caught Emilia by surprise, making her quietly catch her breath. The young girl’s unfiltered, instinctual observation reminded Emilia of her current status.
She was no longer just one of the people saddened by Priscilla’s death; she had also earned the right to be a person who could comfort another who mourned Priscilla’s passing.
And yet, it was something she had longed for above all else, especially when she thought of Subaru and Rem.
“—Priscilla, you sly nona.”
The time she could simply think about her wicked friend was now drawing to a close, leaving Emilia feeling a profound sense of loneliness and fragility that trembled from within.