Volume 2 Chapter 38: “The Meaning of Courage”


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Volume 2: “The Tumultuous Week”

Volume 2 Chapter 38: “The Meaning of Courage”



I burst out of the room, dashed through the hallway, and leaped down the stairs.

Landing on the landing while skipping three steps, I immediately turned around and jumped, landing firmly on the ground floor, then looking up—

“—Ram! Rem! I need to talk!”

As if shouting to be heard throughout the mansion, Natsuki Subaru hurried towards the entrance hall.

He was about to dash outside with all his might, but his feet stopped upon seeing Ram, who had already reached the front entrance.

It was more of a case of her being close by than her having gotten ahead of him. It meant she was simply more idle than Rem, who was busy preparing the meal in the kitchen.

Seeing Subaru’s impatient expression, Ram raised an eyebrow with a hint of surprise on her usually poised face and asked,

“What’s wrong, Balus? Are you that flustered…?”

“Sorry, but I’m heading to the village now. Stopping me would be pointless, and even if I was stopped, I’d still go, but I thought it’d confuse the situation if I didn’t let you know.”

“To the village…? What for…? No, before that, didn’t you hear Lord Roswaal’s orders? Tonight, Ram and I are in charge of the mansion. Do you not understand what that means?”

Ram’s gaze sharpened as she refuted Subaru.

Above all, prioritizing Roswaal’s intentions was her stance. Subaru’s attitude, which seemed to disregard their lord’s command, must have struck a chord with her.

However, Subaru was not the type to easily back down from this.

“Since we don’t have time for a back-and-forth, I’ll be straightforward. — There’s an evil sorcerer in that village. I found out who it is, so I have to go.”

“…You want me to accept that flimsy excuse?”

“There’s no other way to say it, so it can’t be helped. If you ask Beatrice, she’ll vouch for me. And then…”

“Sister—”

As Ram’s doubts deepened, Rem appeared, having opened the large door behind her. Upon seeing the two arguing in the entrance, she smoothly moved to stand beside her sister and said,

“Sister, what’s going on…?”

“They’re going to exterminate the evil sorcerer in the village, and they’re asking to be let outside. —What shall we do, Rem?”

Rem blinked in surprise at her sister’s succinct summary of the situation.

After processing the information, she turned her dubious gaze to Subaru and said,

“Sister, Sister. Natsuki-kun is making quite the dull joke.”

“Rem, Rem. Balus has a real talent for being a clown.”

“Ram, Rem. I’m always messing around, but there are times I’m serious.”

Subaru’s interjection overlapped with the two of them, causing both to hesitate simultaneously.

Taking a step forward to capitalize on their responses, Subaru said,

“I admit it’s hard to believe, and I get that it’s tough to trust me suddenly acting on this. So I’m not saying you should blindly send me off.”

From here, it was important for Subaru, a crossroads for him.

Moistening his lips, he proposed to the two, pointing his finger,

“I’m heading to the village. If you have doubts, feel free to follow me. Just see for yourselves. However, we can’t leave Emilia alone. If you’re coming, it can only be one of you.”

“Unfair, just deciding things on your own… If you’re to follow Roswaal’s orders, there’s no reason for either Rem or I to go with you, Natsuki-kun…”

“Yeah, that’s right. As long as we’re simply following Roswaal’s orders to stay at the mansion. But is that all there is to Roswaal’s orders concerning me?”

“――――”

Rem fell silent, seemingly struck at a sensitive spot.

It seemed that what had just been a bluff turned out to hit the mark.

It was already expected based on the fragmented information from previous loops that they had received orders from Roswaal to keep an eye on Subaru.

Still, Rem’s gaze wandered as if searching for counterarguments, but before she could, it was Ram who broke the flow of the conversation with a deep breath.

She raised her hand slightly and said,

“Understood, Balus. I’ll acknowledge your independent action.”

“Sister—!?”

Rem was astonished at her sister’s nonchalant acceptance. Yet, waving a hand at her sister, Ram continued, “However…”

“As you know, we can’t let you go alone. If we allow Balus to act independently here, it would go against Lord Roswaal’s orders.”

“True enough. So what’s our compromise?”

“—As irritating as it is, we’ll have to agree to Balus’s earlier offer. Ram will remain at the mansion. Rem will follow Balus. If anything suspicious happens… that’s the condition.”

“Sounds good to me!”

Raising his fist, Subaru indicated his agreement to Ram’s condition.

With a small sigh, Ram turned to her somewhat left out sister and said,

“Rem, that’s how it is, so please handle confirming with Beatrice and look after Emilia. —I’ll be watching that too.”

“Sister, don’t use that gaze too much…”

“This isn’t a time for hesitation. If necessary, I will use it. You should do the same, Rem.”

At her sister’s composed words, Rem could not interject further.

After an exchange that only the two understood, she swallowed several words and directed a decidedly unfriendly gaze toward Subaru.

“Natsuki-kun, I’d like to hear the details.”

“Along the way. We might be heading into quite a dire situation.”

If Subaru’s worst fears were confirmed, there could be damages greater than just for himself. That included not just for Subaru but also on a larger scale.

He lightly tapped Rem’s shoulder, thanking her for letting him pass.

Then, still not entirely convinced, he led Rem toward the entrance.

There they were greeted with,

“—Subaru, where are you going?”

From the top of the grand staircase in the entrance hall, the sound of a silver bell fell.

Natsuki Subaru turned around in surprise to find Emilia, with her silver hair swaying, standing there. She must have heard his shout just now.

Gasping slightly, she observed the three frozen in the entrance and asked,

“I heard a loud voice, so I came down… Did something happen?”

“Something might happen, you know, Emilia-tan. But you don’t need to worry. Ah, but it would be nice if you were a bit worried.”

Subaru feigned casualness to avoid making Emilia anxious.

With Subaru’s unchanged light-hearted demeanor, Emilia spotted something in his expression and immediately replied,

“You look like you’re about to do something dangerous again.”

Instantly seeing through him, Emilia made a face that showed concern. Scratch-scratching his head at her keen perception, Subaru pondered.

“Well, I just finished up a back-and-forth just now…”

“It’s no use trying to stop you, is it?”

“Well, that seems likely. Rather, if you tried to stop me, it’d create all sorts of complications…”

“Okay, okay, I understand. I won’t try to stop you.”

Descending the stairs, Emilia reached them and placed her hands on her hips.

Being stared at directly by her purple eyes, Subaru found himself momentarily unable to look away, as if entranced by the light in her gaze.

She reached out and lightly touched his chest, saying,

“Even if I tell you not to overdo it, that seems pointless, right?”

“Depending on the situation… yeah. But I don’t want to do all of that, either.”

Words like effort, struggle, and desperation were all things he wanted to avoid.

However, if he’s the only one who can change things, Subaru had no choice but to act. He couldn’t help but smile wryly, thinking about how much the girl before him influenced this troublesome side of himself.

“—May you be blessed by the spirits.”

“What’s that?”

Noticing her murmur while still touching his chest, Subaru tilted his head. Emilia gave him a knowing smile in return and said,

“It’s just a farewell wish. Meaning I hope you return safely.”

“Oh, so it’s like using flint to send someone off. In that case, I should respond, Emilia-tan, may the glory of victory be with you—”

“Okay, okay.”

As Subaru tried to salute, Emilia turned her gaze toward Rem. The quiet Rem had been observing their exchange, now stood straight under Emilia’s gaze.

“Rem, be careful too. And keep an eye on Subaru, so he doesn’t do anything reckless.”

“Yes, Emilia-sama. I will ensure it.”

“Do you really not trust me?”

“What are you talking about? We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I didn’t trust your character, Subaru.”

“What kind of trust is that? It’s a bit twisted, good and bad, all wrapped together.”

With her hands on her hips, Emilia entered lecture mode.

She likely had many more feelings she wanted to express, but for the moment, her leading the conversation ended there. Understanding Subaru’s urgency, she pushed him along, saying,

“Take care.”

“Yeah, I’m off!”

Receiving a push on his back, Subaru raised his fist in a pose of response, bursting out of the mansion while leaving Emilia and Ram behind. Rem followed behind him, bowing slightly as she departed from the mansion, and he could feel her casually matching speed beside him.

“Well then, I’d like to hear the details…”

“There’s a sorcerer in the village. I had Beatrice remove the curse on me, but I was cursed myself. —If we’re not careful, the village might face total destruction.”

“—Are you serious?”

Breathless as they ran, Rem gasped, widening her eyes.

Subaru silently nodded in response as he headed straight for the village.

If the sorcerer was a rational human, then there wouldn’t be any need to consider such drastic measures. However, if his assumptions were correct, the worst-case scenario could unfold.

Thus, Subaru pressed on. Rem, who ran alongside, also understood the seriousness of the situation and ran silently.

They sprinted through the night, aiming for the village visible beyond the trees.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

“—Natsuki-kun, over there!”

Subaru heard Rem shout, filled with a sense of urgency.

The sight of Rem pointing a little farther down the road caught Subaru’s attention. The outline of the village was growing clearer, but the expression on her face indicated,

“The village is quite bright…”

Having come to the same conclusion, Subaru also sensed the ominous feeling.

His pace had slowed; it was neither fast enough to call it running nor slow enough to be walking; it had become a troubled trot.

Rem, unable to suppress her impatience, looked at Subaru with an exasperated expression, but despite her urging, Subaru’s side ached, and he could not call out loudly.

“Go ahead, first…”

He gestured for her to proceed, but Rem shook her head sharply.

After all, her reason for following Subaru was quite serious. To split up here would defeat the purpose of keeping an eye on him.

Seeing Subaru’s unsteady posture, evidently struggling, Rem felt the need to say,

“Enough already, this can’t go on. Please don’t bite your tongue.”

“Wha—wait, Rem, what are you doing—!?”

Rem returned to his side, extending her arm, and easily grabbed the scruff of Subaru’s neck, lifting him effortlessly.

This was the overwhelming display of strength she had shown during the barrel incident.

Hoisted over Rem’s shoulder, Subaru was now upside down, feeling the wind rushing around him.

Experiencing the raw speed of Rem’s serious sprint left Subaru at a loss for words, while simultaneously affirming that bringing her along had been the right choice.

What could a helpless and incompetent Subaru accomplish by diving into the vortex alone? Including the past banter back at the entrance, securing Rem as an ally was undeniably correct.

“Arriving now. Natsuki-kun, are you okay?”

“That was fast, as expected… Now, I’ve got to assess the situation in the village… ughhhh…”

Subaru leaned against the wall, struck with nausea from the jolt and fatigue.

Ignoring the spectacle of Subaru’s miserable state, Rem surveyed their surroundings. Just then, a villager happened to pass by and noticed their conspicuous appearance.

“Hey, you two from the mansion, right? What brings you here at this hour…?”

“Just the right time! Is something going on?”

Seizing the young man who approached them, Rem asked from above. He opened his eyes slightly in surprise at her strong tone, stuttering,

“Uh, yes. Actually, a few of the village children are missing. We know they were playing before it got dark, but after that—”

At the unclear words from the youth, Rem opened her mouth to ask further.

But first, it was Subaru who acted. Drawing a breath, he placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder and turned him around.

“Are any of them, like, Ruka or Petra or Mildo missing?”

“Y-yeah, that’s correct… Do you have any idea where they might be?”

Receiving an affirmative response to his concerns, Subaru clicked his tongue and kicked the ground, hissing, “Damn!” Then he squared his shoulders towards the village outskirts—toward the forest.

“Are you the only one searching for the children?”

“The youth association is out in full force, along with the village chief.”

“The kids are in the forest. They won’t turn up wandering through the village.”

At Subaru’s insistence, the expression on the young man changed. He seemed to have more to inquire, but Subaru merely slapped him on the shoulder and took off running.

“I’m entering the forest first. You tell everyone: the children are in the forest!”

Though the young man called out a question behind him, he extended his pace into a sprint once more.

Panicked, Rem followed after him, trying to piece together Subaru’s confidence.

“How do you know…?”

“I just know, okay? I’ve heard them crying alone in the depths of the forest twice now—”

The surrounding area was encircled by tall wooden fences. They jumped over the section that bordered the forest and landed on the ground within.

Dodging through gaps in the trees while avoiding branches and muddy ground, they pressed deeper into the woods.

“Even saying ‘in the forest’ is too vague. Do you have an idea, Natsuki-kun…?”

“I think if the brats’ words hold up, it should be over here…”

Moving relying on memory, the path was heavy with uncertainty since it was merely retelling what he overheard. To make matters worse, visibility was low, and there was no way to confirm he was heading in the right direction.

However,

“—The barrier, it’s down.”

Rem gasped in astonishment, while Subaru felt that his judgment had been validated.

Before them, Rem pointed out a crystal embedded in a great tree. It had clearly lost its light long ago and was a mysterious object he had seen several times in the forest.

The references about barriers sticking in his memory, he recalled when Ram directly warned him not to venture into the depths of the mountains.

“When the barrier goes down, what happens?”

“The ‘Beast’ crosses the boundary. This is why confirming the barrier’s maintenance is the villagers’ duty…!”

“It’s pointless to be concerned now; that’s the situation we face. More importantly, what is this Beast?”

Subaru’s question made Rem tremble with concern, saying,

“The Beast is an external enemy with magical power… They say it was created by the Witch to harm humanity.”

“Once again, the Witch…”

Subaru grimaced at the frequency of the term that couldn’t be ignored, but he sensed the confirmation lies within Rem’s earlier words and the impending disaster descending upon the village.

“—!! Natsuki-kun, what are you doing?!”

Shocked, Rem shouted to stop him.

Before her, there was Subaru crossing past what was referred to as the barrier trying to venture further in. She blinked in surprise as he faced her, extending his left hand and saying,

“The kids are deeper in. We have to save them.”

“Do you have any evidence? We need Lord Roswaal’s permission to cross the barrier…”

“My scar from before serves as proof.”

Pointing at the back of his left hand—there was a mark from when he visited the village earlier in the day.

The bite from a dog the children had surrounded him with, which had even assaulted Subaru.

—And it was Beatrice who stated:

The being that had inflicted that scar was the very one who had cast a curse on Subaru.

Once, twice, and now again.

That being was intertwined in all of Subaru’s cursed encounters. Plus, it instilled potential threats against Rem in the fourth world.

The only being capable of encompassing all of those possibilities had to be that one alone.

“If it was a dog the kids were fond of, and it wasn’t really a dog but something that had been cursing those it bit…”

It wasn’t something induced by nature; it would spread like a natural disaster.

Just as there had been diseases spread through rats, if it exploded through animals, the fate of a single village would not be hard to imagine.

Chasing that dog, the safety of the children who ventured into the forest would undoubtedly reflect the same scenario.

“The longer we take, the more dangerous it gets. I don’t know whether the kids are cursed, but either way, we need to return them to the mansion for de-cursing!”

“Wait! You can’t just make that call without discussing it— the situation seems too suspicious, to begin with!”

“Huh?!”

Holding on to that eager feeling while trying to step into the forest, Rem continued to pressure him. She pointed back towards the village—essentially towards the mansion.

“Is it merely a coincidence that such a problem arises now that Lord Roswaal is absent? If this isn’t targeting the mansion…”

“So what do we do? It’s undeniable that the kids in present danger must be left to their fates while we return to the mansion for defense? If the villagers are dead by tomorrow, then that could be an option too.”

Subaru was aware of the cowardice behind his own words, had he admitted it.

He understood that Rem was primarily just trying to avoid risk. That was entirely natural, and there was no reason to blame her.

However, the time would come when making a decision was inevitable, whether they remained silent or crouched down.

Regardless of how limited his choices were, he needed to pick among the cards presented in front of him. Of course, it was possible to choose not to choose, but regretting such a decision was something that would remain deeply engraved in Subaru’s heart.

“Rem, let’s go. We can’t just leave it to fate.”

“Why do you care so much? How does this village concern you…?”

Subaru caught the hint of hesitance in Rem’s voice as he heard it for the first time. The Rem he knew never faltered; she had kept her composure at all times.

But faced with a decision where she had to act in the absence of her trusted master and sister, she regained the appearance of an ordinary vulnerable girl her age.

Seeing that human fragility in her, Subaru felt a painful sense of empathy. But there was no luxury for the two of them to linger on those wounds right now.

There was no leeway, neither in terms of their time nor in their mental state.

While he urged Rem into action, Subaru’s feet trembled for reasons other than fatigue. It was only natural. He knew he was stepping into the face of the entity that had claimed his life twice and Rem’s once before.

Especially considering that his strongest ally seemed unwilling to tread further, facing the possibility of moving into the unknown alone was making the cowardice he had tried to suppress rear its head.

Yet Subaru slapped himself to forget that weakness.

With a sharp sound ringing, Rem raised her face. Responding to her gaze, Subaru took a deep breath and spoke in a low voice,

“—Petra wants to work in the city making clothes when she grows up.”

“…Eh?”

“Ruka said he wants to follow in the footsteps of the village’s top lumberjack, and Mildo wants to gather flowers from the fields to make a crown to gift his mother.”

“…………”

Counting the faces one by one that floated behind his eyelids, Subaru continued.

“Meina was excited because she’ll soon have a little brother or sister, and Dain and Cain are competing over who will marry Petra.”

A small laugh escaped him.

When Rem fell silent, he shook his head, saying,

“There’s no way it doesn’t matter. I know every one of their names and faces, even their dreams for tomorrow.”

Subaru disliked children.

They were noisy, too familiar with him, and talked back too much, and most importantly, they lacked etiquette.

Rude, ungracious, reckless, and inconsiderate, they seemed like reflections of someone he knew.

Subaru was far from a good person.

Even while watching grim news reports on television, no matter how large the numbers might be, if it didn’t hit close to home, he’d soon forget after taking a nap.

Thus, he disliked children who weren’t close to him or how things turned out for them.

Just as Rem said, prioritizing Emilia and staying safe in the mansion would have been a much more Subaru-like approach.

But still,

“I made a promise to do radio exercise tomorrow.”

This was what Subaru had thought during the loop on the day of his summoning.

It would be easy to leave them behind. But he couldn’t do that, which was why he ran toward the forest.

He looked at Rem.

She was still hesitating, confused.

Subaru realized that this was a weak appearance. A manner of lamenting that she felt powerless. It was very reminiscent of Subaru himself.

Seeing her in this fragile state, far weaker than he was at that moment, Subaru felt irritation toward himself for his resolve.

While being scared and unable to help it, he still used someone else to maintain his own self.

Such pettiness was profoundly contemptible.

If even that cowardice could be of use, then let it be so.

“I keep my promises, and I force others to keep them too. —I will definitely do radio exercises with those kids again. So, I’m heading in further.”

—He had never known courage could be so terrifying.

Subaru desperately tried to fight off his trembling hands, not noticing his shaking voice as he declared.

Watching Subaru’s back, Rem quietly closed her eyes.

If she were to say she wouldn’t follow, it could be understood. It would waste far too much time returning to summon the villagers. He still wanted to tell her at least that much… but—

“That can’t be helped now.”

“Rem?”

Rem suddenly loosened her lips and looked up at Subaru.

To his surprise, she had on a very clear expression showing strong feelings, something he had rarely seen before.

“What I am commanded to do is to keep watch over you, Natsuki-kun. If I let you go alone now, I wouldn’t fulfill my duty, would I?”

With her teasing words, Subaru became momentarily dumbfounded, then shook his head, saying,

“Ah, you’re right. Just make sure to keep a close watch on me so I don’t pull any suspicious stunts.”

“Yes, I will. —So let’s go, shall we?”

As Rem glided alongside him, Subaru felt as though he finally stood alongside her in a genuine sense.

He felt a tingling sensation as he wanted to thank her, but he suddenly noticed.

—In Rem’s hand, holding it unconsciously, was a metal ball. Bound by an iron handle and chain, it jingled lightly in her grip, incongruent with its heft.

“Um, Rem, what’s that?”

“It’s for self-defense.”

“Wait, but that—”

“It’s for self-defense.”

As they exchanged words, Rem and Subaru stepped toward the unexplored woods, trying desperately to reforge the courage he’d nearly lost again.


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