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Chapter 15: Chaos of Emotions

Eyes shimmering like light reflecting off rippling water.

Like the magma poised to erupt before a volcano, heavy tears behind closed eyelids clamored for a glimpse of the world.

Yet, the reason it hadn’t burst forth was simply that her current situation utterly felt like that of a ‘subject’.

Because she was employed by her employer?

No, if it was just that, she wouldn’t have entered so submissively.

Friede… no, Jisehee had become a being that couldn’t hold her ground and deal from A-jin’s perspective.

For reasons unknown, she was someone who shielded her from the avoidance and fear of others and the world.

The reason Jisehee entered the editor contest was for money.

But now, she had no choice but to obsess over the stream called Friede and the woman named Jisehee.

So she had come, for the contrived excuse of a meeting.

Until halfway through, the atmosphere was nice. The formalities were dropped….

Having had a drink, Jisehee thought the walls might break down, but it appeared that was not just her assumption.

However….

“Absolutely not.”

A clear refusal.

At first, she couldn’t think of anything.

Just, ‘Ah, looks like this is difficult.’ Such simple thoughts slipped through her mind.

But with each passing second, confusion and anxiety swelled up, and her heartbeat quickened to the point of sobering her up.

“Why? If… if I did something wrong….”

Thanks to that, her speech normalized… but this isn’t normal!

“Um, it’s not so much a mistake….”

A-jin, who had been inwardly scolding herself and bowing her head, jerked up at the sound of her voice as if in a seizure.

Before her stood Jisehee.

She wasn’t angry.

Just like watching water flow naturally, she nonchalantly picked up a cookie and popped it into her mouth.

“I want to know the reason.”

The reason?

While A-jin stared blankly, Jisehee, quenching her throat with wine, smiled brightly.

“I was thinking about letting it go, but the more I pondered, the stranger it seemed…. I don’t understand why you’re fixated on my hand.”

Twisting it around, the contents of the glass rippled to the rhythm of the shaking.

As the wave settled, the glass tilted slightly towards A-jin.

“Whether as an employer or as someone I’m starting to get to know over drinks, I think I have the right to know. Don’t you agree?”

“Uh, uh… um…”

Stammering, she hesitated to respond.

Well… it’s a story no one would believe.

If only it didn’t lead to disdain, that’d be fortunate.

Moreover, her own timid and pathetic self, her so-called A-jin-like demeanor.

Being treated as a liar or a lunatic was something A-jin desperately wanted to avoid.

“Yeah, so you can’t say it.”

“I-I really… have my reasons….”

“I believe everyone has their own stories. Life can’t be the same, so the content and type must vary. But still, if it’s like this, there’s no helping it.”

Jisehee quietly murmured, shaking her head lightly while drinking the wine in her glass.

Her hair, like gold melted down, cascaded like a waterfall in sync with the motion.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t give you my hand.”

“…!”

No, this shouldn’t be happening.

Now that she had come to know her sister, giving up was not an option.

She didn’t want to remain just as a simple editor and employer.

Dying of thirst, she downed the wine in her glass in one go.

That first meeting.

A-jin remembered that thrilling time. Not just for her beautiful appearance.

She appreciated the kindness of holding hands and the exhilarating peace she discovered by doing so.

It was truly an addictive high.

How many times had she burned the hope that if they met again, she could taste that peace once more?

From then on, how many times had she rewatched her streams just to calm herself?

When her face, flushed by drink, turned rosy like pink blossoms, A-jin raised her head and faced Jisehee squarely.

Even this act was bold enough to require the aid of alcohol, a shocking move for her.

Her eyes reflected the essence of the streamer Jisehee, Friede, capturing every detail in her mind.

To leave it as just a fleeting dream would be impossible; the dark, obsessive thoughts in her heart were too strong.

It seems… a significant resolve was needed, A-jin thought.

Whether she ended up being treated like a fool, or the relationship ended in a neatly defined office space… either way, this thirst wouldn’t be quenched.

It would surely be better to just go for it to have less regret.

A-jin repeatedly lifted her wine glass.

A lubricant to dull her mind further, to unleash her thoughts even more.

In that relentless spree of drinking a bottle alone, Jisehee merely watched in silence.

“Ma….”

Once the last drop coursed down her throat,

“I’ll tell you.”

With eyes squeezed shut, she declared her surrender.

 

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