――Black, dark, distant, deep, long, heavy, bitter, there is darkness.

「――――」

It was as if all the bad things in this world were mixed together, a heavy, suffocating darkness clung to me all over.

My face, body, limbs, and every inch of skin were tainted by that darkness, soaked through, as if blood seeped and discomfort accompanied with a sense of thirst endlessly persisted.

Can you imagine the feeling of being completely covered in scabs?

My skin tightened, and when touched, I received a sensation utterly unrecognizable as human skin. My fingertips, which were meant to touch my scabs, were covered in scabs, and I couldn’t discern the shape or form of my original ‘self.’

――No, it’s not just the outward appearance that’s truly unrecognizable.

「――――」

Beyond that, should I call it the essence?

Or perhaps it should be described as the ‘soul’?

Having lost sight of my own ‘soul’ shape and condition, I experienced an aimless wander, and after much hopeless wandering, finally, I felt as if I could touch a fragment of it.

And that touch returned the aforementioned response of scabs, so I can’t help but feel both unease and disgust. Is it really okay to pull on this?

「――――」

Is there really a ‘self’ that I seek beyond this point?

When I finally reach that spot I’m pulling towards, will a completely different self begin? It’s a strange notion, yet not entirely impossible. In fact, the events that happened to me were eerily abrupt and surreal.

I accept it as my own affair and see it as a trial I encountered, and I sought the scenery beyond overcoming that. How much time have I spent on just that?

「――――」

Thus, a great anxiety looms.

Is it really okay to go ahead from here? Is the place I sought to accept and embrace truly there?

The ‘self’ that was entrusted, believed in, forgiven, and wished to exist—is it there?

『――I love you』

And so, that indescribable anxiety was melted away by a guiding voice.

「――――」

――White, bright, high, precious, beautiful, sweet, towards the light.

That soul—Natsuki Subaru—.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

In an instant, pulling my awareness from the depths of a loose, deep slumber, Natsuki Subaru awoke.

「――Aah」

A weak sound escaped his lips, the first breath leaking out.

It was terribly hoarse, lacking vitality, but undoubtedly, it was his voice. From that, he understood he hadn’t been reincarnated as a single-celled organism without the ability to speak.

This was a step forward. Now, if he could confirm early on that he wasn’t an entirely new being with a completely different value system—

「—Subaru, are you awake?」

「――――」

The voice that shook Subaru’s eardrums from very close by was a silvery bell-like sound.

It was cool, gentle, calm yet strong, vibrant, and lovable.

Just a moment before, it had truly been a terrible state, a voice he had heard.

Hearing that, his heart raced, and he felt a pain in his chest, forcing Subaru to slowly shift his gaze sideways.

「――――」

――There, waiting was a pair of deep amethyst eyes filled with tender concern.

「…Emilia?」

「Yes, that’s right. Subaru, are you alright? Can you wake up? Can you talk properly?」

「Um…」

As he was called by name in a hesitant manner, Emilia, the owner of those amethyst eyes, softened her lips and tilted her head. Her long, beautiful silver hair flowed elegantly down her soft white shoulders, resembling moonlight swimming gracefully through the air, so strikingly beautiful it burned Subaru’s heart.

――In short, there stood a beautiful girl beyond this world.

「U-uh…」

The moment he realized that, a surge of blood rushed powerfully to Subaru’s cheeks.

His face flushed, and as it turned red, his eyes darted around, rendering him speechless. His ears became red from the rush of blood as he stammered, “Aah, aah…”

「Aah…?」

Seeing Subaru’s flustered state, Emilia furrowed her beautifully shaped brows. Even that slight movement evoked a distinct kind of emotion, akin to two masterpieces painted by a rare artist.

Experiencing it up close and personal, barely close enough for their breaths to mingle, the beating in Subaru’s chest surged even higher, only adding to his distress.

「――――」

What is this? What the hell is this?

Is this real? Is this a materialized illusion or something? In a desert, an oasis is a mirage we’re meant to see—there’s a custom of seeing what we most desire at that moment.

Following that train of thought, could this be a mirage? What a luxurious illusion—

「Hey, are you okay, Subaru? I think you’re feeling a bit off after all. You just collapsed.」

「Hyaah!」

「See, you just went ‘hyaah!’ just now!」

In a state of utter confusion, Subaru felt Emilia gently place her smooth palm on his forehead, making him tremble.

Seeing that, Emilia became concerned about Subaru’s condition, but Subaru too was struck with the feeling of discovering the truth behind his ‘Emilia mirage’ in the mindset of a scholarly overturning of the geocentric theory.

Yet, the sensation of her touch was undeniable. Her existence confirmed that he was indeed Natsuki Subaru.

And above all—

「—Hey, you’ve been ignoring Betti while talking like this, huh? Honestly, Emilia isn’t the only one who was worried.」

「――っ」

From the opposite side of Emilia came a childish voice conveying discontent, prompting him to turn around.

What came into view was a cutely puffed-up little girl—

「Beatrice…」

「You’re making such a terribly muddled voice again… It’s like you’re doubting the very existence of cute Betti, isn’t it?」

Upon receiving a weak call, Beatrice dropped her brows as if worried. Though her words seemed to scold, there was a tinge of concern and relief in her voice.

Her demeanor suggested she was relieved at Subaru’s awakening and worried about the fact he had lost consciousness in the first place. Subaru’s heart stirred at the very thought of Beatrice’s—no, her existence.

That is—

「Nyaah!？」

With an innocent appearance, Subaru swiftly grabbed Beatrice and pulled her light body into his chest. She was light. Really, her body was so lightweight.

Caught completely off guard by the sudden action, Beatrice couldn’t resist as her eyes went wide in surprise, snugly fitting into Subaru’s arms. On the woven green bed made of vines, Subaru held onto her tightly, confirming her existence.

「Beatrice, Beatrice, Beatrice!」

「W-why are you calling my name? What’s going on!? You’re so sudden!」

「You, you…you have such a calming expression! You’re so adorable, it feels like I’ve come back home. I’m mesmerized!」

「I hope you’re not trying to compliment me!」

Embracing Beatrice while gazing at her, Subaru spoke with deep emotion, causing Beatrice’s face to flush with embarrassment as she grasped Subaru’s face tightly with her small palms.

The little girl’s petite fingers clung to his cheeks and ears, and as Subaru experienced the cute pain, he felt the undeniable existence of Beatrice in this place.

「Stop it! Subaru, don’t mess around right after waking up! We still don’t know why you collapsed…」

At Subaru’s playful demeanor, Emilia felt just a bit excluded and interjected.

Concerned for Subaru, Emilia gently attempted to grasp his shoulder before stopping.

「—Subaru?」

Instead of anger, concern colored Emilia’s voice. The emotions mixed within it shifted to pure worry. Her eyes widened in surprise as they gazed at Subaru’s trembling, sobbing shoulder.

「…Ugh」

「Subaru? Subaru, what happened? Beatrice is here. It’s okay, it’s going to be okay. You don’t need to cry.」

Realizing Subaru was choking back tears, Beatrice’s face dulled with confusion, and she tenderly caressed Subaru’s tear-streaked cheeks.

Her small, trembling hand was desperately holding onto Beatrice’s petite body. Beatrice understood that it was driven by anxiety and fear.

Thus, Beatrice sought to gently speak to Subaru’s heart.

You don’t need to cry. I’m right here. Subaru, it’s okay.

「Please don’t cry, Subaru. You don’t need to rush. Just take a deep breath and calm down. Beatrice is right here with you.」

Like Beatrice, Emilia soothed Subaru as well.

With the hand she had hesitated to touch him with earlier, Emilia placed it gently upon Subaru’s shoulder, her bell-like voice respecting Natsuki Subaru’s actions and decisions.

「――――」

Both of their existences, their being, remained unchanged.

In a world where everything crumbled, was lost, and had become irretrievable, the two who prioritized others over themselves, who stood nobly even in a place of death, hadn’t changed.

Confirming that, seeking it, and this time, to see it through—

Natsuki Subaru, as “Natsuki Subaru,” began a new loop to reclaim everything—

「I’m back…」

With a sobbing and disjointed attitude and voice, it was undoubtedly a most pitiful, shameful situation.

――Natsuki Subaru initiated a new loop to recover everything.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

「So, the thing is, it appears I’ve dropped my memory at the “Taygeta” library. I might cause everyone some trouble with conversations being misaligned and all, but I hope you’ll understand that.」

「――――」

At the breakfast table, in front of a circle of friends, Subaru lowered his head sincerely while making that announcement.

Such a bombshell statement from Subaru brought forth a variety of reactions from everyone. That said, the most prominent was confusion, while bewilderment and sorrow seemed to take a back seat.

「Everyone is super worried about Subaru, I think. But if we don’t keep our heads up, the one who’s most anxious is Subaru, after all…」

「…Emilia-sama says that, but—」

Next to Subaru, Emilia chimed in with a thoughtful expression.

However, in contrast to her words, the skeptical gaze came from Ram. She crossed her arms, narrowed her pale pink eyes, and glared at Subaru.

「To me, Balks doesn’t seem to appear at all anxious, does he? More importantly, what’s this farce about, Balks?」

「It’s not a farce at all. I’m being brutally honest about my anxiety and the facts. I can practically see the tragedies that are bound to happen if I stubbornly keep silent about it, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst.」

「――――」

Ram’s look grew more skeptical as Subaru’s response bore a strained expression.

Meanwhile, Emilia, who had heard about the situation from the green room in advance, reacted in a flustered manner. Upon hearing the topic of ‘memory loss,’ both she and Beatrice showed shock while still accepting Subaru’s concern for them, just like last time.

――Having retreated midway through that terrifying loop, Natsuki Subaru plunged into a new loop.

In a cool way of saying it, he had resolved to once again start his otherworldly life from zero, but of course, in reality, it wasn’t as glamorous as that.

Having resolved his determination was good, but that moment before ‘death’ held the possibility of it all being over.

Instead, he found himself gaining a chance to restart through ‘returning by death,’ feeling overwhelmingly relieved and grateful. —However, he had no intention of relying solely on that.

The ‘return by death’ power that resided within Subaru was a powerful force that twisted fate.

It was tough for the user, Subaru, since the trigger was ‘death,’ but if he thought of it as a necessary cost for bending fate, then some price to pay should be expected.

One of those costs—yes, Subaru regarded ‘death’ as merely one of those costs.

It was only natural to expect a significant cost alongside such a powerful ability. Of course, Subaru presumed his ‘return by death’ was no exception.

He believed it was either limited in usage or likely entailed sacrificing something with each repetition.

Given that he wasn’t being pampered by the goddess of fate with infinite attempts, he didn’t harbor any conceit over such goodwill. The only experiences of being loved came from his parents.

That being said, it would be natural to exclude actions like throwing himself into ‘death’ just for trial-and-error to gauge the limits of ‘return by death.’ Any of these could be the last chance.

If it followed that some cost was involved, a common scenario would be exchanging precious beings or significant memories.

Unfortunately, for Subaru, the only beings who could possibly qualify as precious in this world—aside from his family from his original world—were Emilia and those with ties at the tower.

As he thought that far, he considered—

「There’s no way my memory being wiped is the cost of ‘returning by death’… right…?」

It was a terrifying notion to imagine, yet it certainly was a plausible scenario. Offering memories as the price for ‘return by death.’ Such a twisted approach felt wicked, but the very act of ‘returning by death’ itself was a rather unsavory concept.

More frightening than that was the absence of any means to confirm if that was indeed the case.

In truth, the correlation between Subaru’s memory loss and ‘returning by death’ remained unknown. For now, he had already died four times since realizing his amnesia, and within the range he could grasp, he hadn’t confirmed any memory loss.

The memory of waking up in the tower after returning from a convenience store was vivid.

――He hoped that there were not countless loops devoid of memory.

「—Hey, are you listening, Balus?」

With that, Subaru was brought back to reality by Ram’s stern voice while he was lost in thought. Hearing her gaze prompted him to whisper, “Huh…” and

「Ah, I get it. I can understand being surprised. It’s a sudden revelation, and I totally understand how it’s hard to believe… but—」

「I understand, but?」

「For me…」

「You really have no reason to lie about such a dark and twisted thing, do you? Ram must believe in you to some extent, too.」

Instead of choosing words for Subaru, Beatrice replied to Ram. Sitting primly beside Subaru, she had pledged her allegiance wholly to Subaru since accepting the situation in the green room.

「Beatrice-sama…」

「Emilia’s words aren’t entirely false. You’ve lost your memory, and I think the one most worried is you, Subaru. That’s why you’ve been crying like a child.」

「That’s pretty embarrassing to bring up.」

Subaru scratched his cheek in surprise at the unexpected revelation, opting to label the reason behind his tears as “that sort of thing.”

In reality, it was a confluence of factors—being able to ‘return by death,’ the reality of reunion, and being granted a second chance to redo things. Nonetheless, tears were tears.

There’s no need to delve too deeply into why a man shed tears.

In any case, Subaru felt a wave of gratitude towards Beatrice, who supported him in this manner.

Just like Emilia, Beatrice had also been confused upon first hearing about the situation in the green room, but with a bit more time to comprehend than Emilia, she had promised to support Subaru with her surprisingly keen insight and capacity to grasp situations.

――The fleeting relief Beatrice had shown at the very end of the last loop, along with the words she used to “take him out,” resurfaced in Subaru’s chest like a chain tightening around his heart.

What in the world had Natsuki Subaru done to Beatrice?

The guilt of relying on her trust without knowing the answer consumed him. He didn’t wish to naively accept such a thing as a matter of course.

「Honestly, it’s reckless to dismiss intricate discussions like this about delicate matters like memory loss. Yet, I hope you can swallow it.」

「Can’t just swallow it…」

「With that said, let’s have a constructive discussion. Fortunately, I’m feeling positive about this. I’d gladly welcome discussions aimed at moving forward—if you have things to say, I’ll listen carefully.」

Using Beatrice’s words as background, Subaru bowed his head again. In support of Subaru, Emilia also lowered her head, saying, “Please trust him.”

「――――」

Seeing the solemn demeanor of Emilia, Beatrice, and Subaru, even Ram had no words to retort. Once the knee-jerk reaction to the initial shock had settled, what followed was the natural bewilderment.

Of course, it wasn’t just Ram who was shocked by Subaru’s statement of amnesia. It wasn’t just her noticeably expressing her emotions; the reactions among those besides her—Echidna, Julius, and Shaula’s reactions all aligned with the flow Subaru had experienced twice before.

「――――」

Honestly, while reuniting with Emilia and Beatrice had an overwhelming impact, the moment he managed to again exchange words with everyone here, Subaru’s heart shook intensely.

Julius who had been left with Raid in the lower layers. Echidna, who lost her life regretting doubting Subaru after both her legs exploded. Shaula, who hadn’t been seen during that turmoil within the tower. And Ram, who had cast the strongest doubts towards Subaru and couldn’t meet him again afterward.

Everyone. Everyone was here. He had been granted a chance to exchange words with everyone again.

And yet above all, what Subaru was most intensely aware of at this moment was—

「—That aside, you know, you’re quite the problematic guy, aren’t you?」

「――っ」

「What’s with that reaction? You’re making a face like you met someone who died, and it’s so rude, you know?」

Indeed, the girl before him, as she sighed with a somewhat unimpressed look, was unmistakably—

Meily.

Meily Portroot was present, moving and speaking, right there.

「Meily…」

「Oh, you do remember my name. Well, I can’t tell where you’ve changed from usual though. What did you forget, exactly?」

「—Ah, it’s a bit complicated. Right now, it might seem like there’s no issue with our conversation, but if you look deeper, things are quite jumbled. It’s what you’d call an episode memory loss; I remember names of things fairly well but memories with people are quite fragile.」

「…Does that mean, even about yesterday?」

「—That’s right.」

Meily narrowed her eyes slightly and dropped her tone at that. Subaru hesitated for just a moment with her question but gave in and stopped evading, putting aside pretense.

He could make excuses to evade, but he chose not to. He had resolved—Subaru would engage with them sincerely, as much as possible.

「—Yesterday, huh. Well, that’s the case then.」

「――――」

Hearing Subaru’s answer, both Julius and Echidna, who had been listening, shocked once more as if it were a revelation even more impact than mentioning ‘memory loss.’

But disregarding their reactions—

「Oh, master, have you lost your memory again? How many times do I have to be forgotten? I’m so tired!」

With that, Shaula pressed her ample chest together and pursed her lips in dissatisfaction.

Until now, Shaula’s light words had been manageable to brush off, but at this point, her words bore an impression strong enough to be hard to ignore.

「Digging into your nonsense feels strange, but are you saying your master loses his memory that often?」

「—Well, let’s just say he has a tendency to forget quite a bit. When I woke up and greeted him in the morning, he usually would be like, “Who are you? I don’t remember you,” as if I’m just an old acquaintance.」

「Hmm, with that level, I can’t tell if it’s just playful banter or a different story altogether…」

Hypothetical as it may be, if Subaru had grown closer with Shaula after their days together, her reaction could easily prompt him to tease her with such lighthearted exchanges.

However, he was also aware that he was choosing to keep his memory loss from Emilia and the group. There was a chance he could mask the reality he had actually lost his memory while pretending it was a joke.

He found it frustratingly complicated. After all, he had died four times so this wasn’t even a laughing matter.

「Got it about the memory loss. To be honest, it’s something I must admit will take time to digest… but I think it’s best to consider the possibility that a trap exists in this tower, that might cause such phenomena.」

「The most likely incident took place at the library ‘Taygeta’ where everyone found me unconscious. It has quite the ominous reputation after all.」

「Huh…」

「—?」

While pondering with a serious expression, Subaru nodded along with Echidna. Yet, during the conversation, an impressionable line dropped from Emilia, revealing a tinge of loneliness.

In the prior loops, she often exhibited this expression and reaction while conversing with Subaru. Ultimately, the true cause behind that phenomenon remained unclear, even now.

Perhaps there is something grievously overlooked? —That notion frightened him.

「—Everyone, I’m really sorry for surprising you. Sudden revelations and trying to continue from there is unreasonable, I believe. Let’s take a break for now. In the meantime, I’ll go fetch some water with Ram.」

He suggested this, and with a bounce, Subaru leaped up from the center of their circle. At that, Ram raised an eyebrow while Emilia and Beatrice looked at Subaru with concern.

However, Subaru nodded in response to their gaze and turned his black eyes toward Ram.

「Let’s go, Ram. —You’ve been looking like you wanted to invite me to get some water.」

「How lewd.」

To Subaru’s invitation, Ram averted her gaze and muttered.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

「So, what was that farce about earlier? Now that you’ve dragged Ram along, it seems you have something to say about it.」

With a bucket in hand, Subaru and Ram moved away from the meeting area towards the water source. Once he had determined they’d put some distance between themselves and Emilia, Ram cut to the chase.

As always, she didn’t buy into Subaru’s ‘memory loss’ claim one bit. This was not about proof or stubbornness; there were far more important reasons underlying her skepticism.

――The existence of Rem. Ram’s most cherished sister, still in a deep slumber.

Because of her concern for her sister, Ram couldn’t bring herself to accept Subaru’s claims of memory loss.

That was why she stood firmly against the notion of Subaru suffering from amnesia. The detailed circumstances were unknown, but surely, he had some connection to Rem while he remained intact.

It must have supported Ram’s existence as her sister.

Thus—

「Stop giving Emilia and Beatrice too important of roles. Emilia struggles with them still. I see you thought of pulling Ram in, and that I can give you credit for. We need to discuss the details…」

「—Ram, I truly don’t have my memories. No lie, no tricks, no strategic planning about it.」

Subaru had to deny Ram’s tight grasp on hope, which was clinging to that slender thread.

「――――」

Hearing Subaru’s earnest words caused Ram to pause, narrowing her eyes. Within her pale pink eyes lay confusion and unease—and seeds of strong anger.

Those embers of anger swelled into flames, threatening to consume Subaru’s very soul. It was fueled by none other than Natsuki Subaru’s suspicious and dishonest conduct.

Indeed, it stood as a prime example of one’s actions leading to their destruction.

「I’ve lost my memory. I grasp the names and relationships of everyone in the tower, but I’m unsure about everything else. That’s true, too.」

「Stop right there.」

「In front of Emilia and Beatrice, I merely talked through this matter, conveying no more than what I’ve just told you. I can’t provide anything beyond that. Right now, my hands are empty.」

「Stop, Balus. Don’t say another word…」

「I know I’ve come to return to this tower to reclaim all sorts of things lost. I’m fully aware this is during the ‘trial.’ But that’s all. My motives are…」

「Balus, don’t—」

「—About Rem, I—」

「—Balus—!!」

With heartbreak, Subaru admitted to Ram that he didn’t remember.

Reluctantly, she had shown with her attitude that she didn’t want to hear Subaru’s words, but upon hearing the apology from Subaru, she lunged at him with a fierce look of anger.

「Guh!」

He was grabbed by the collar and slammed into the wall behind him. He couldn’t believe the strength contained within her slender arms as Ram restrained him while glaring fiercely.

Inside her pale pink eyes, the embers erupted into flames, more furious than would’ve been imagined, threatening to engulf both Subaru and Ram.

When that fire consumed Subaru—no, when it devoured Ram, the scenario of tragedy would repeat itself.

「What do you think you’re doing? Why this… this pointless lie!?」

「It’s not a lie… I wouldn’t lie to you…」

「So you’re saying you don’t have any reason to? Then what do you want me to do? Ram should just believe that Balus forgot about Rem… that’s absurd!」

「Ram…」

With brows drawn tightly, Ram glared at Subaru, their lips almost touching at the proximity. He could see the flames blazing brightly, realizing that they stemmed more from grief than anger.

He finally grasped her inner turmoil, how deeply rooted it was, far more intricate than he could have imagined.

After four lifetimes, Subaru had finally brushed against that reality. To genuinely understand and appreciate the thoughts and pain others harbor—that would require deep consideration.

The abilities that Subaru wielded as the wielder of ‘return by death’ allowed him profound insights, yet when he realized Emilia and the others had plowed straight through such trials with singular determination, he found it blindingly bright.

With that brilliance, he could not allow himself to simply wilt.

「—I will definitely reclaim Rem.」

「—!」

Meeting the depth of her pale pink eyes, Subaru gathered strength in his throat and clearly declared.

Hearing this, Ram’s eyes widened in disbelief before being quickly masked with rage again.

「What do you mean? Taking back what? You’d forgotten about Rem!」

「Yet, I will reclaim her. Not only Rem but also my memories, my reasons for coming to this tower—all of it! We’ll all come back together. —That’s the kind of reward that’s only fair!」

「—Balus?」

「It’s only fair… considering what has happened in this tower!」

There was a suffocating sensation in the air around them. But throughout all this, a bitter smile crept onto Subaru’s face. Ram’s expression shifted subtly, and the tension in her grip on his collar eased slightly.

His hands then took her hands, pulling them gently apart. He managed to turn their positions around.

「Ugh. Let go of me.」

Once pushed against the wall, with Ram looking closely at Subaru, she spoke sternly.

Yet, lacking energy and resolve, Subaru wasn’t intimidated.

「Ram. I swear I will get back my memories, my Rem. Please lend me your strength.」

「――――」

「Everyone’s strength is needed. The Subaru you knew up until yesterday wouldn’t have said such pitiable things. But the current me—」

He recognized that Julius entrusted him; Beatrice believed in him, Echidna forgave him, and Emilia wished for him.

In so doing, wouldn’t it have been possible for ‘Natsuki Subaru’ to single-handedly rectify this moment of crisis even if it might not be entirely correct?

Yet the current Natsuki Subaru realized he couldn’t accomplish such feats solo. He knew he couldn’t sulk in despair, lamenting his situation, because everyone here was too beloved to him.

「I understand you can’t believe me or forgive me for forgetting Rem. However, I need you to put that anger aside for now. In return, I promise…」

「Promise…?」

「I will absolutely see this through. I’ll bite down and hang on. If I were to break this promise before you, let it be your decision how you wish to punish me.」

「――――」

As Ram’s eyes widened in shock, the heat of her anger began to dwindle. Naturally, the fresh feelings flowing forth were those which had until now been hidden beneath her rage.

While still gazing at her, he continued to pull back his head and kept his gaze firmly locked on hers—just like when he locked eyes with her while a frigid cage closed around their connection.

「That’s my resolution.」

「…Why do you want to go that far? If Balus has truly forgotten about Rem, you shouldn’t feel this way.」

「――――」

「If you forget, it will be hollow. It’s only an empty space that feels like you’ve lost whatever existed in there. It will vanish. Love too, hate too, warmth and loneliness—everything.」

Ram’s quiet tone held a cold hardness.

Those deeply felt words likely represented the void she herself had experienced. Therefore, she could hardly believe in the resolve Subaru bore.

She questioned how he could harbor such a strong wish for something lost amidst that emptiness.

「In truth, that’s right. Memories are gone and what I thought of Rem before yesterday slipped through my fingers…」

「Then why?」

「But I know you cherish Rem, desperately wishing to have her back.」

Subaru had witnessed Ram’s determination to reclaim her sister, expressing her desire through desperate struggles.

Seeing such a steadfast wish and affection there overwhelmed Subaru. Ram had become someone he genuinely hoped to save.

「What I want to reclaim now, is for the sake of “Natsuki Subaru” and for you.」

「――――」

「So when I give up, what do you want to do? I’ll leave that decision to you. That’s my penance for having dropped my memories carelessly and made you cry.」

「I haven’t cried! Stop saying that.」

「That hurts!？」

With a snap, Ram slapped Subaru across the face with incredible force, causing him to tumble to the ground.

Holding his reddened cheek, Subaru looked at her in disbelief.

「You… I just shared something that took a lot of courage…」

「Getting carried away like that, what’s so courageous about it? Regardless, don’t even joke about promises. You’re really the most untrustworthy person here to adhere to conditions.」

「Wait, just how many broken promises have I made until yesterday!?」

「When have you ever kept a promise?」

「What kind of level is that!？」

Ram’s cold voice scolded Subaru directly, prompting him to reassess his reputation as ‘Natsuki Subaru.’ His image—both for better or worse—had fluctuated so much, but breaking promises was a definitive downfall.

In any case, if one made a promise, it should be the bare minimum duty to fulfill it.

Even if no one was watching, trust inherently exists under the belief that promises made will be honored. That spirit was evidently lacking.

「Indeed, Natsuki Subaru is truly a pitiful person…」

「Yeah, that’s right. It seems I misunderstood. But until yesterday, Balus was not exactly the type to handle matters on his own. Rather, he’s the type to meddle, trying to do things alone, and in the end, widening the damage. Ram faced endless trouble due to it.」

「Seriously, why did you bring a guy like that to the tower…?」

「He was too eager to help. Plus, he could talk his way through anything and was somewhat skilled with minor tasks. Oh, and he was also good at soothing Emilia and Beatrice. Other than that…」

Subaru, sitting cross-legged on the floor, felt terribly uncomfortable being thoroughly criticized.

It wasn’t about him, yet he was being scolded about himself. It felt equally complex when Emilia praised ‘Natsuki Subaru’; being openly criticized by Ram was just as much of a struggle.

With that in mind, Subaru thought maybe he might as well hear it all out, coming to a conclusion within himself.

「So what more is there? I’m also short, have a poor memory, picky when it comes to food, and can’t give up easily?」

「Short, has a poor memory, is picky with food, and cannot give up easily.」

「I knew it!」

「—And you cherished Rem.」

「――――」

Suddenly her tone shifted, filling Ram’s previously icy voice with warmth.

If one were to assign a color to that warm tone, it would appear a soft pink, resembling a gentle embrace.

It was the voice of someone cherishing Rem, her sister, and just thinking of ‘Natsuki Subaru’ being by Rem’s side would bring back fond memories of her tender affection.

Such softness felt to Subaru almost as if the pink hue radiated with kindness.

「Balus…—You truly forgot about Rem, didn’t you?」

「…Yeah.」

Ram’s gaze remained locked onto Subaru, unwavering. He found it magnificent.

At such a moment, if Subaru were to hear words he didn’t want to hear, he’d likely want to look away; yet she never once turned her gaze aside.

「Balus…—You will truly remember Rem again, won’t you?」

「Yeah, I will. Not just Rem, but everything else too.」

「Even if you have forgotten everything, I won’t mind as long as you remember Rem.」

「Come on, that’s unreasonable. Just let me retrieve all of it…」

「I’ll repeat myself. No matter what, remember Rem—dead or alive!」

「I swear on that. —Even if I die, I’ll recover everything.」

Literally, even if he were to die, he would reclaim everything.

In this parallel world, Natsuki Subaru would remember everything that he had seen, heard, felt, and built through all of this to this point. —Absolutely everything would be reclaimed by Natsuki Subaru.

「…Fine. For now, I’ll let this pass.」

Upon hearing that answer, the oppressive presence emanating from Ram dissipated.

Acknowledging this, Subaru, still seated on the floor, asked cautiously, “Is that okay?”

「That was my request after all, but truly, just like this?」

「You’re a man. The least you can do is accept things honestly. I’ve heard your resolve. If you truly give up, where you leave it is up to you. If you were to ignore my heart, it would lead my kind heart to doubt.」

「I’ve never heard of any procedures past cooking or roasting…」

「Did you say something?」

「I said nothing.」

Gently shaking his head, Subaru responded politely to Ram.

Claiming to be a “motherly figure” felt like quite a bold display, yet seeing as how he had already initiated a fifth challenge—and that he could neither bind to gods nor Buddhas, relying on the mercy of a mother was, perhaps, an interesting option.

「Get up, Balus. Giving up or kneeling is something I won’t allow.」

「Don’t equate sitting on the ground with those… Now then!」

With a bounce, Subaru stood up, brushed off his rear, and turned to face Ram.

Leaning back against the wall, straightening her disheveled attire and folding her arms, Ram looked at Subaru, returning to her usual self—this was precisely what she defined as ‘her usual self.’

「…Did you say the same things to Emilia and Beatrice?」

「Those two… It sure didn’t seem like they expected me to give up.」

「That’s true… You’ve picked up the bad habit of picking up bad traits, haven’t you?」

「So those two are off the table for relying on. The same goes for Julius and Echidna on a more emotional basis.」

As for Emilia, Beatrice, and Julius and Echidna.

The answers he had received were quite clear from his previous loops through interactions with them.

The remaining answers would have to come through future confirmations.

「However, that’s interesting… It seems from what you’ve said that the version of me until yesterday wasn’t quite so great after all.」

「The value of Balus changed drastically from Ram’s perspective depending on the presence or absence of Rem. Watch your words.」

Cutting him off, Ram dismissed Subaru with her spine turned and started walking.

Having spent so long at the water-fetching stop in their conversation, they now lingered on their way back.

However, if they returned empty-handed, it would likely invite strange concerns from Emilia and the others.

With a bucket in hand, Subaru chased after Ram and fell in step beside her.

Then he quietly asked,

「Am I… did ‘Natsuki Subaru’ truly exist here?」

It came out small, directed at Ram’s profile.

It felt more like a check than an affirmation, carrying a hint of uncertainty bordering on weakness. After vowing not to back down, this was probably something unbecoming to say.

He couldn’t help but think he might be on the receiving end of a disciplinary action from Ram any moment now.

「—You idiot.」

But Ram didn’t do that. Instead, she kept moving, scolding him in a loving tone,

「Right now, it’s merely a fleeting moment you can’t see. Many things have piled up, and it feels as if they’ve disappeared just because they’ve hidden deep down inside. That’s like a flower smothered by cold snow; when the season of thaw arrives, it will reveal itself. —It’s just that simple.」

With that expressionless face, Ram made it so that Subaru couldn’t show any expression to contradict her current pose.

After showing his bravado, the last thing he would do would be to show such a miserable face. So, he kept quiet, and the way Ram seemed not to want to look his way struck Subaru at that moment deeply reminiscent of a motherly figure.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

The situation had significantly begun to change—at least that’s what he hoped, but in reality, not so much.

This wasn’t the first time Subaru laid bare his memory loss, and it had been a sight he’d seen before, with confusion mixed in with concern; everyone had outwardly accepted that shocking announcement.

Only if the way they approached him and held themselves changed did the way they perceived him ultimately shift.

During the last round, Subaru had so intensely doubted Emilia and the others, scrutinizing their actions, mannerisms, and statements at every conceivable angle, drawing conclusions that they must be scheming something.

However, without that specter of suspicion filtering through his perception, what he saw in their actions, mannerisms, and statements was clear concern for Subaru, basic self-recrimination.

In summary, they had consciously reined themselves in, trying not to cause Subaru any anxiety.

The only one who found their behavior suspicious and odd had been Subaru himself all along.

「Let’s do this right. Do it right, Natsuki Subaru…」

Taking a deep breath, Subaru stared intently at his palms.

The cause of his memory lapse likely rested at ‘Taygeta.’ While overcoming trials was essential, so too was urgently unraveling the cause of this memory loss.

Though no incident had yet manifested, it was entirely possible that if anyone else also lost their memory, they could all end up in a world of chaos, with everyone greeting one another anew.

Additionally, there might not be any room to be casually unconcerned.

「Previously, the chaos in this tower had been unruly.」

In the prior cycle, within the tower, Subaru discovered the—no, excluding Emilia and Beatrice—bodies of his companions one after another, discovering their deaths.

In the last round, he witnessed each of his companions slip away from this life amidst chaos, and Subaru’s heart had become a barren wasteland.

However, these abnormal circumstances foretasted calamities that were not far off within the tower.

Being someone who understood the worst tragedies, he must prevent such occurrences.

To achieve that, he would do everything he could. —Thus, first, Subaru—

「――――」

Amidst those thoughts, a faint breath surfaced behind Subaru, standing at the edge of a high place.

If he was aware, he could gather a glimmer of existence amid the killing of presence. He felt it was almost unfair to discern it with prior knowledge and promptly turned around.

「—Whoa, careful there! Don’t fall off in my place!」

As both hands reached out to grasp empty air, nearly toppling forward, Subaru quickly stretched out his hand to support the girl who staggered on the verge of falling, yanking her back.

Her body felt lightweight. Not in a bad omen but proportionate to her appearance—a fitting lightness indeed—fit for that girl.

「Now, let’s have a talk. —You’re taking responsibility for pushing me off.」

This time, Subaru grinned at Meily and prepared to lay down the evidence in a climax to their past encounters where she had twice thrown him off previously.

“`

 

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