――Dim, dim, there was awareness in the depths of darkness.

　For Natsuki Subaru, it had been a while since he visited this place.

　Previously, it felt like he was forcibly summoned here every time he experienced “Return by Death,” in this boundless realm where only darkness spread without end.

　Come to think of it, this was a strange space.

　After all, Subaru had never been able to draw out his memories of being here. Even though it wasn’t his first visit, he forgot about entering as soon as he returned outside.

　It felt as ephemeral as a fleeting dream.

　In the faint darkness, between hazy memories, his consciousness, known as Natsuki Subaru, flailed into the void, slowly swimming through the pitch-black.

　Rising only with his consciousness, having grown accustomed to the sensation of not having a body, hands, feet, eyes, ears, or mouth.

　The unreliability of not knowing up from down, the anxiety of not being able to see anything, all of that was irrelevant to a consciousness controlled by a single thing.

　The unendurable, incessant passion residing in the core of his awareness――rather, it was love, familial love, and deep love.

　By coming here, he could meet the source of that affection.

　His consciousness learned only that, rejoicing at the ability to visit here once more.

　Before this long-awaited reunion, there was a nonexistent heart thrumming, and non-existent lips filled with a joyous song.

　However, such sentimental feelings of consciousness were――.

“Looks like you’re having quite the jolly time.”

“Seriously, what a joke. Just because you got a bit lucky, you’re all smug about it; it’s just unbearable. I mean, don’t you think it’s a bit shameless? I’d really appreciate it if you took a moment to reflect on yourself. If you did, you’d probably see just how brazenly ridiculous you’re being.”

Suddenly interrupted by a voice that shouldn’t have reached.

『――――』

The consciousness turned.

What significance does turning hold in a world without a face, body, or fixed direction? It’s not about seeking meaning but creating it in the absence of meaning.

To turn around, one needs a body. If consciously driven, the pitch-black darkness had no choice but to provide Natsuki Subaru with a semblance of a body.

Thus, the turning consciousness became Natsuki Subaru, given a body and gaze to look around.

However, that alone was still insufficient; the body was far from complete. This Subaru was defective, and the real Natsuki Subaru could never be truly replicated.

Would it be enough to have hands, feet, or perhaps a nose or mouth?

――No, creating and reproducing a single human being is not that simple.

To create Natsuki Subaru, he simply did not know enough about himself.

He was not the sort of person who could simply be made up of just his own knowledge and memories.

Thus, it was impossible to create a more complete version of Natsuki Subaru in this state.

But, in that state of lacking completeness, the imperfect Natsuki Subaru was unaware.

Therefore, the imperfect Natsuki Subaru, merely given a temporary body and visual capacity, stood in a state of floating in oblivion, looking around, and realizing.

In the midst of the darkness, the presence of “consciousness” that was someone other than Natsuki Subaru appeared.

“How abominable and pathetic! This is nothing less than a self-indulgent creation! Oh, how sinful and tainted it is! Truly, it is worthy of nothing but contempt!”

“Below average, more like subhuman, is what this feels like, huh? What was going through someone’s head to think a nobody like this could trample over me, who was once fulfilled? Of course, standing before me, blocking my path, everything—absolutely everything! You’re all lacking! You’re all insufficient! If you think logically like a human should…! Just like an animal, not even close to a human!”

The rising “consciousness” spewed curses at the incomplete Natsuki Subaru.

One was mad, the other was sinister, each casting their hatred onto Natsuki Subaru.

Unfortunately, the consciousness with only Natsuki Subaru’s awareness couldn’t comprehend that hatred.

The heart and brain needed to understand weren’t prepared in this Natsuki Subaru. In order to grasp the claims of those “consciousnesses,” he would need to create an organ for understanding, just like he created this visual capacity.

『――――』

――But, somehow, it felt like such an organ wasn’t needed.

At least for now, trying to understand the claims of those two “consciousnesses” seemed pointless, and, more than anything, there was no desire to do so.

It’s not easy to drag the abstract into the concrete. Unless Natsuki Subaru truly craved that in the most genuine sense, he wouldn’t be able to obtain or produce it.

Therefore, he had no choice but to put off the words needed to respond to those two “consciousnesses.” No, truly, there was no further intention.

“How insolent! How dismissive! How contemptuous! Despite how dedicated I am in pleading, you don’t even make an effort to understand! How truly, ah, ah, oh…! Lazy! You are indeed, quite lazy!”

“How long will you keep belittling others, you filthy half-beast…!? You know? Who do you think I am? I’m a man who desires nothing more than a fulfilled life and days untouched by turmoil. That’s what you’re hindering! That’s an infringement on my rights! That’s the act of evil! You better stop trampling on the happiness of others!”

Feeling like he could get nowhere, Subaru turned his back on the two “consciousnesses”.

Having a body makes it easy to demonstrate the will not to converse through gestures. Behind him, the curses were still echoing, but he didn’t care, as noticing would draw attention.

Even without turning, his vision would work. In this case, rather than “vision,” perhaps the existence of “eyeballs” would be needed. If the opportunity arose, he’d like to keep that in mind for development.

But right now, there was no time to dally over such trivial matters.

『――――』

Because before Natsuki Subaru’s consciousness, the shadow of purpose was beginning to reveal itself.

『――――』

In the pitch-black void where nothing was supposed to be visible, the shadows cloaked in an even darker hue stood vividly.

Sometimes they froze Natsuki Subaru’s heart and made it shudder with the soft pairs of arms and fingers. The slender yet soft form was clad in a dark dress that enveloped it.

As usual, the visage above the neck remained obscured in thick mist, but Subaru understood in his soul there was “someone” who evoked affectionate emotions within him.

The appearance had evidently grown clearer and closer than the last encounter.

During the previous encounter, only the arms and body shape of that shadow had been visible; now, not only the dress it wore but also the bare feet peeping from beneath the long hem of the dress were visible. The physical form was effectively nearly fully recreated; what remained unseen to Natsuki Subaru was merely the face hidden in shadow.

It was frustrating. But for now, that was good enough.

Stronger than before, he felt her presence closer. Yet, he had yet to prepare himself for welcoming the clarifying form that was becoming increasingly visible.

For now, he should rejoice that she was simply near.

Eventually, he would surely reach out to those unreliable fingertips, embrace that slender waist, and exchange love.

『――I love you』

Responding to that phrase, Natsuki Subaru raised his newly formed chin.

He sensed that the shadow was filled with joy over such a moment and felt a pang of remorse.

Next time, he wished to return the expression of love with his own words, so he needed a “mouth” and “tongue.”

As such thoughts surfaced, Natsuki Subaru’s consciousness turned away from the garden of shadows――。

“`

 

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