Chapter 395
Chapter 395 Character Collapse
In this kind of torment, the time quickly turned to evening.
Nights away from the city are always quite peaceful. In Chicks, aside from the members on night watch, the vast majority have already drifted into dreams—except for Xia Xinyan and Ling Mo.
In fact, the two have shared a bed for a long time now, and Xia Xinyan has long since gotten used to it… well, probably gotten used to the feeling of sharing a bed.
But tonight, looking at the large bed in the bedroom, she felt once again the tension and entanglement she experienced the first time she shared a bed with Ling Mo.
However, compared to that time, her thoughts had changed drastically; the essence of her entanglements had naturally evolved—yet her actions remained consistent; she didn’t want to be overwhelmed.
Or rather, should she want to be overwhelmed or not?
She felt she wasn’t ready yet… no, she hadn’t prepared or mentally girded herself at all. She always thought that Ling Mo would need a long time to win over her family, so she had a sort of ostrich mentality about it, thinking that putting such matters off until later would be fine.
Who knew her parents would suddenly compromise, directly pushing her into Ling Mo’s arms—this felt like taking a confident exam without studying, and when the paper was distributed, she couldn’t solve any problems.
To get in bed or not, this was a fateful choice.
Her mind was in a whirlwind.
After returning from the Summer Family, she had imagined countless scenarios for that night, such as Ling Mo suddenly taking her down or something, and for the sudden incidents she had fantasized about, she had designed innumerable coping methods. She felt perfectly prepared, yet while waiting for Ling Mo to finish his shower, she still felt incredibly tormented.
She used to think she was in control during this somewhat abnormal relationship because she understood Ling Mo from the very beginning and could easily keep him under her thumb.
However, she didn’t know when exactly it started, but gradually she couldn’t see through Ling Mo’s true thoughts anymore. At some unknown point, it seemed that Ling Mo had completely broken free from her grasp, even subtly showing signs of wanting to control her instead.
She wanted to regain control, so she laid out a set of rules for Ling Mo—he listened to her well and agreed.
At that time, she still felt like she was in control.
Until now.
Feeling the inner turmoil and her heart racing, she finally realized that she had long lost control, and even a few words from Ling Mo could leave her feeling trapped.
Had Ling Mo always been acting for her?
At this thought, Xia Xinyan even chuckled somewhat inexplicably.
Ling Mo was indeed like her, like the her from her past life.
Whether it was temperament, self-control, or cunning, he was almost identical to her past self.
And she… no longer resembled Ling Mo.
Or rather, she was never Ling Mo; she was Xia Xinyan, always had been.
Perhaps when she was reborn, she was still influenced by the memories of her so-called past life, maintaining the temperament of “Ling Mo” in her actions. But as time passed, the influence of her past life’s memories became smaller, and she might have finally revealed her true self.
She thought it was because she was tired that she began to slack off, to rely habitually on Ling Mo, and to enjoy the mundane life under Ling Mo’s protection as if it were a given.
Now, it seemed that this was her true self, and this was Xia Xinyan.
She no longer wanted to delve into what Tianji’s so-called rebirth was about; now that she had figured things out, she just felt… life was really quite marvelous.
“Xinyan? What are you doing standing there? Why aren’t you getting into bed?” Ling Mo’s voice suddenly came from behind.
Xia Xinyan’s body immediately stiffened.
All the assumptions and coping strategies she had prepared in her mind vanished without a trace, along with the sentiments she just had, leaving her with a blank slate. The only thought remaining was—she was going to be overwhelmed.
And as Ling Mo came back from his shower and saw her still standing in the middle of the room, he couldn’t help but poke her: “Xinyan?”
She jumped back as if shocked, retreating several steps to create distance, her face tense: “Y-you… you can go to sleep first if you want!”
Ling Mo paused slightly: “Xinyan?”
“I-I’m not sleepy!” Xia Xinyan tried hard to calm down, but her mind couldn’t even organize a complete sentence, “I was just… just thinking! Expedition… ah… um…”
Ling Mo: “…”
He really wanted to point out that her face was completely red.
Like a shy little girl—no, she truly was a shy little girl, quite adorable.
He had seen Xinyan shy before, but never to this extent.
It made him want to laugh: “What’s going on?”
“… Nothing,” Xia Xinyan forced herself to calm down, glancing at the door, which seemed like a path to heaven, only a few steps away, yet feeling so impossibly far, “How about… we… sleep separately?”
Ling Mo smiled slightly, his tone carrying a hint of mischief: “Xinyan?”
“Ah, ah, ah, it’s fine if we don’t sleep separately!” Xia Xinyan immediately shouted, “But… how about you sleep first? I’m not sleepy, I’ll sit for a while!”
Her mind had turned into a chaotic mess.
The carefully constructed persona she had put up in front of Ling Mo had collapsed completely—well, it had been on the verge of collapse before, but tonight it fell apart entirely.
She was just very conflicted; she admitted that she did indeed like Ling Mo, a genuine affection born from long familiarity. If she could continue that kind of life, she would be more than willing.
But today, that kind of life had been shattered.
It was like wanting to sleep cuddling her favorite puppy but fearing it might bite her—such a conflict.
—She used to cuddle her dog to sleep because she put a muzzle on it, but today her parents had taken it off.
But for safety, she didn’t want to sleep with him, yet worried it would hurt his feelings and make him think she didn’t like him…
Xia Xinyan felt she was standing at a huge crossroads in her life.
Ling Mo just stared at her for a moment.
Then, with a hint of helplessness, he went up and directly picked her up, taking her by surprise as she let out a startled sound while being carried to bed: “Stop messing around; it’s getting late, time to sleep.”
As soon as he set her on the bed, she immediately wriggled to the far side, closely watching Ling Mo, her eyes filled with complexity.
Ling Mo paused for a moment, lifted the blanket, and lay down beside her, turning off the light.
However, with both of their night vision abilities, they could see quite clearly even without light.
Ling Mo noticed that Xia Xinyan was still staring at him.
Like a guard against thieves.
This made him feel a bit strange; he really couldn’t figure out why Xia Xinyan was acting like this.
So after lying there for a bit, he finally couldn’t help but ask: “Xinyan, what’s wrong?”
“… Nothing.” Xia Xinyan mumbled under the covers.
Ling Mo sighed and turned to face her—then saw her inching away.
He remained silent for two seconds and asked: “Did I make Xinyan unhappy?”
“No.” Xia Xinyan shook her head.
The room fell quiet again.
Then Ling Mo moved slightly closer, wrapped his arm around her waist: “Then what’s bothering Xinyan…”
Before he could finish his sentence, his arms suddenly felt empty, and then he realized he was touching something fluffy.
He paused, gently pulling out the fluffy thing.
It was a cat.
The cat meowed quite obediently at him.
Ling Mo: “… Xinyan?”
Xia Xinyan could transform into a cat, a reward she received from a dungeon once.
But unless necessary, she rarely used this form; one, because it had no combat capability, and two, she wasn’t used to moving around as a cat, so this ability was quite lackluster.
Though Ling Mo did find the cat version of Xia Xinyan cute, it was… not cute to be a cat in bed…
He liked sleeping with Xia Xinyan—her human form.
Xia Xinyan was quite relaxed, stretching and then rolling over to one side: “Ah… suddenly feel like this form is pretty comfortable. From now on I’ll sleep like this; it’ll make the bed feel wider, and you should sleep better too.”
She was really a genius.
Turning into a cat meant no one could overwhelm her.
Looks like this ability wasn’t that useless after all.
Ling Mo stared at the cat beside his pillow for a while.
He felt today’s Xia Xinyan was a bit unusual.
It seemed to change after returning from the Summer Family.
To be precise, it was after he told her that her in-laws had agreed to let her marry him.
So why…
He suddenly remembered that Xia Xinyan once told him she wanted to save her most precious existence for after marriage.
Could it be because of this?
Xia Xinyan thought her parents had agreed to marry her off to him and felt he wanted to do such things to her, that’s why… she was so shy?
In the quiet, Ling Mo suddenly burst out laughing.
It sounded very pleasant.
Xia Xinyan tilted her head to look at him: “What are you laughing at?”
Ling Mo didn’t reply, only reached out to pull her closer to his face, gently touching her nose, softly saying: “Transform back.”
Xia Xinyan paused: “… I think this is nice.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to you,” Ling Mo smiled slightly, his tone filled with indulgence, “So transform back.”
Xia Xinyan: “…”
Her face flushed—thankfully, cat faces can’t show it: “I never said you would do anything to me… don’t think too much!”
Oh no, he figured it out.
If she had to speak it out loud, it would feel really embarrassing!
This guy…
“Okay, okay,” Ling Mo replied in a somewhat perfunctory manner, then ruffled her small head, “So transform back, or I’m afraid I’ll accidentally crush you while I sleep.”
Xia Xinyan looked into his eyes for a while before reluctantly transforming back, and he held her tight in his arms.
Satisfied, breathing in her floral scent, Ling Mo seemed to mumble to himself: “Xinyan…”
“Mm?” Xia Xinyan buried her head in his chest, mumbling a response.
“Has Xinyan thought about… what our wedding will be like in the future?” Ling Mo asked.
Xia Xinyan chose to play dead.
—He was indeed too eager to overwhelm her.
She wanted to turn into a cat.
