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Chapter 382. Happiness and Freedom

――I’m sure I can’t make you happy.

If I had to sum up Leila’s emotional state the moment Alex said that, it would be a simple,

“?”

“I’ve been happy all along.”

Placing her hand softly over her chest, Leila said.

Looking back, before being taken in by Alex――Zilbagias, her dragon life had been completely dark. She had her mother killed in her childhood, was separated from her father, and continued to be oppressed without even being allowed to return to her dragon form.

Living was, to put it plainly, a torment. Yet, clinging to the faint hope that her father might come to save her, she managed to hang on. Of course, that hope was thoroughly crushed by the Demon Lord’s Prince, Zilbagias.

Perhaps the peak of her despair as a dragon came the moment she heard of her father’s death and realized she was to be “presented” to the very Demon Lord who had killed him.

But everything changed after she became Zilbagias’s possession. No longer was she pushed around and bullied by other dragons; everyone around her was kind (relatively), and she was also able to return to her dragon form and practice flying.

She even made friends (?), like Garunya and Liliana. Just that alone made Leila quite happy.

(But that wasn’t all.)

Zilbagias, having learned necromancy, summoned her father’s soul.

Through various circumstances, she learned the true identity of Zilbagias――who Alex really was.

She was able to inherit her father’s memories and skills.

(――My treasure.)

Everything was precious. Honestly, if asked whether she harbored any grudge against the one who killed her father, it would be a lie to say there was none. But despite everything, she loved it all.

In the past, she thought she was the unhappiest person in the world.

However, upon opening the lid, she discovered there were people rolling around in far worse hells, squirming in agony and spewing blood while still trying to move forward.

It might have been a kind of respect. Perhaps compassion or sympathy? Maybe it was a sense of gratitude for freeing her and allowing her to meet her father in the end.

What triggered it all is unclear now, but Leila began wishing to support Alex, to cheer him on.

And now, within the alliance territory, her hopes have manifested in the most perfect way.

She could be with her beloved Alex. She was happy. She was truly happy.

But if possible――she wanted to become a more “special” existence for Alex, and if she could, she wanted to make Alex “hers.”

However, the very Alex was showing a refusal due to saying, “I can’t make Leila happy.” It was a bit puzzling.

“Alex?”

Thus, she decided to inquire about his true feelings.

Taking his hand, Leila gently led it to her neck.

Letting him touch her 【Kizuna】.

In an instant, Alex’s inner landscape flooded in: the vivid scents of wildflowers and hills, the clinging smells of blood, fire, and smoke ingrained in her soul.

(…Ah.)

Leila understood.

Alex’s almost inaudible memories of his “childhood hometown,” the “ordinary ideal family” he envisioned, and the fury, sorrow, and hatred that turned them all to ash—

One by one, his irreplaceable, precious things were consumed by the fires of war, burning away. And in the end, Alex himself was about to be scorched by that very inferno. Beside him was her, horrifically burned to a crisp in his wake――this shared vision pierced through.

Yet, after sharing it all,

She twisted it.

The burning Leila, rather than writhing in agony, smiled and embraced Alex. She transformed into her dragon form. Did he think such flames could harm a dragon’s scales? She grabbed Alex with her front legs, spread her wings, and soared into the vast skies. Free, boundlessly free――

“Eh…?”

Alex, his vision overwritten, was caught off guard.

Now, Leila was no longer self-deprecating, nor did she hold any destructive desires, so she didn’t particularly think about wanting to die. If there awaited inevitable destruction beyond, sharing a final moment with Alex could be acceptable, though it wasn’t something she welcomed.

After all, against such an unreasonable ending, she needed the strength, the wings, the will to resist.

It was none other than Alex who granted them to her.

(――I understand Alex’s feelings.)

Enveloping his hand, Leila hugged him gently from behind, thinking.

(Alex, though accepting my affection, wishes to make me happy. The “happiness” he envisions is… um, that…)

When she tried to verbalize it again, she blushed a bit.

(Marrying me… surrounded by cute children, all living together in harmony, peacefully cultivating fields in the countryside――something like that.)

“Uh, uh huh…”

Realizing what she had just articulated, Alex seemed a bit embarrassed, shrinking away.

Alex’s immense sense of responsibility showed even here. Because he accepted Leila’s goodwill, he wished to respond in the ideal way with all his might. The result was this.

(…)

At this moment, Leila’s affection nearly burst forth. Overwhelmed by that feeling, Alex involuntarily exclaimed, “Whoa…”

(…But you think you can’t do that, can’t become that.)

Alex’s feelings were complicated.

First, having lost everything he imagined, he felt it’s too late to revert to it, resigning.

Next, there was the self-punishing thought he had no right to attain such happiness, due to trampling innocent people, betraying comrades, and walking down forbidden paths.

Plus, he feared or questioned whether imposing human standards on Leila, who was originally a dragon, would be wrong. Was interspecies marriage even acceptable?

In addition to that, Leila, who hadn’t known the vast world due to her miserable circumstances, experienced mutual dependency; was it right to continue utilizing her power because of that conflict?

His conscience nagged him, wondering if Leila would be better off liberated to live more freely.

But if she were gone, he’d actually be troubled, leading to disappointment, anger, and regret towards himself――

Currently, Alex exposed everything. Even while their souls brushed against each other in the 【Kizuna】, the feelings that he usually locked away at the bottom of his heart all came to the surface.

(Ah…)

Having immersed in all of it, Leila――

(Then, I’ll also)

Stopped holding back.

(I like Alex. I love him. Despite being stronger than anyone in heart, there are such delicate and weak sides to him that I can’t help but feel sympathy. So pitiful. I like that part, too. I can tell he truly cherishes me. That’s why he becomes cowardly. I love him so much. I can’t help it. I really like him. I want to cling to him.)

(I want to travel with Alex forever. I want to abandon all missions and ties, living leisurely as I please. Honestly, even if the human race perishes, I wouldn’t care too much, but I don’t want everyone I’ve met so far to die. I especially don’t want that to make Alex sad. I want to see Alex’s smile. I want him to be happy.)

(I like how Alex tries to protect everyone. I admire his noble heart that strives to be a hero in any situation. But I dislike how he’s trying to save everyone by sacrificing himself. Because Alex himself doesn’t get saved. I want Alex to be saved, too. Now that Liliana is gone, I’m the only one who can help him. I want to save Alex, to be a stronger support.)

(I’m fond of how Alex was secretly thinking about a happy life with me. The idea of wanting three children is also so sweet. But I dislike how he gives up everything before even envisioning it. Don’t give up. I want him to think a lot about himself, too.)

(But, I can’t forget the people he betrayed, and seeing the suffering Alex experiences is unbearably dear to me. So pitiful. Yet the Alex who is trying so hard is so lovable. It’s heart-wrenching to see him desperately muster spirits. I can’t leave him alone. If I can do that, I couldn’t love anyone else.)

(I want to make Alex mine. I want him to think of nothing but me, just as I can think of nothing but him. I know that’s wrong, but I can’t erase this feeling. Alex’s existence is simply too huge for me. He is the one who brought me the greatest despair and hope. There’s no way I could go on living without remembering you.)

(What made me turn out this way? I look around and read books, and I somewhat realize I might be a little strange. Perhaps I’m dependent on Alex. But I like this side of me. I also like how Alex helped me become like this.)

(However, at the same time, I still hate Alex a bit. Why did you kill my father? Sometimes I hate myself for thinking such things. It feels like I might lose my mind if I keep dwelling on it. I might have already lost it. So, Alex, who made me this way, must take responsibility. I can’t imagine my dragon life, my life without you anymore. You will always remain my hated Prince.)

Alex, Alex, Alex――she liberated the boundless affection and love-hate feelings that she usually restrained or suppressed.

“……”

Struck hard, Alex was speechless.

“At this point,”

Leila intentionally spoke out.

“Living without Alex is impossible.”

Leila was happy. Because the person she couldn’t live without was always by her side.

(You were thinking I might have a more ordinary free life as a dragon, huh?)

“…Yeah.”

(First, let me say this clearly, I don’t find the idea of living an ordinary dragon life particularly appealing.)

“Eh,” Alex made a silly sound.

(I’ve been living as a human for so long, I’ve gotten used to it. By the way, what does it mean to live like a dragon? Collecting gold and treasures, flying around casually, eating meaty animals if I see one, or lounging in the sun as a White Dragon―is that it?)

To be honest, Leila, too, was a dragon, and she liked shiny things.

However, no matter how much treasure and jewels she collected, in the end, she needed to become human to enjoy wearing them. From the start, that was the nature of the 【Transformation】 magic.

When it came to meals, she preferred being human. Ingredients taste better when cooked, and for example, while she could gulp down a whole cow in dragon form, in human form, she could enjoy it over dozens of meals.

(If I want to fly or swim, I can just revert to my dragon form then. Plus, as for romance, honestly, even now, I still have some aversion towards my kind…)

Alex turning into a dragon would definitely look cool! She had the maiden’s heart for that but still.

(You gave me freedom.)

Gently, she placed her hand on the stunned Alex’s cheek.

(Unlike when I was trapped in the dragon’s cave, I can revert to my dragon form anytime.)

She wasn’t being forced into human form by a collar.

(――But, I can choose to stay human and be close to you.)

Just like at this moment.

It was Leila herself who made that choice.

(Unlike when I was in the dragon’s cave, I can now freely fly in the sky.)

She could unleash her breath, cast spells, and fly however she wanted. She could go anywhere.

(――But, I can choose to walk with you or ride on a ship.)

In human form, alongside Alex.

That choice was made by her alone.

(I can fly, but I won’t. I can go anywhere, but I won’t. I can revert to my dragon form, but I won’t. Everything, everything is what I choose.)

That, in essence, is the “true freedom” Alex granted her.

(That’s right, isn’t it?)

As she posed that question.

From the depths of Alex’s shocked heart, regret slowly seeped in.

“I’m sorry… I…”

He genuinely wished for Leila’s “happiness,” but it was purely a selfish desire, neglecting her own will――he realized it.

Within moments, self-blame swelled rapidly, contrasting with his real body wilting as if becoming deflated. His face bore a pained expression――it was so pitiful to watch him wallow in regret.

Yet Leila, while she found him adorable, wasn’t at all angry. She felt like saying, “Of course, I forgive you! You don’t need to worry about it at all!”

“That’s not acceptable. I won’t allow it.”

Despite knowing his internal thoughts were transparent, she voiced it out loud.

She thought she understood that Alex was staunchly responsible but never realized it extended this far.

He believed a catastrophic ending suited him――perhaps because of what he learned from other people’s pain, his judgment may be reasonable. If Alex genuinely longed for that ending from the bottom of his heart, letting him follow through could be one way to show love.

But–

Leila didn’t want that.

“I like that you try to protect everyone as much as possible.”

Her love was immense.

“But please, don’t hurt the important people, my important you.”

If he chose the path of slaughter, she would support him. They would share the pain together.

But she didn’t want him to envision his ending like this, predict an unhappy conclusion.

“If, in the future, you choose to move toward unhappiness,”

As a counter for Alex ignoring Leila’s will this time.

“I will do everything to make you happy.”

In the dream future he truly desired but had given up on.

(I’ll take you there myself.)

――Alex’s eyes widened.

“Leila…”

A single tear traced down Alex’s cheek.

Ah――he had endured so much. No matter how self-punishing or responsible he was, he didn’t want to suffer voluntarily. He was just driven by a sense of duty and anger to keep moving forward.

That’s why Leila’s words stirred something within him. Like a beam of light breaking through hell. A mix of affection, guilt, and gratitude rushed in, all tangled up inside.

Yet, even after all that, he still hadn’t relaxed. He couldn’t let go of the guilt. The feeling of self-blame still hadn’t been completely erased.

…It was inevitable. He wouldn’t be able to turn a blind eye, carrying such a burden—

Even the tabooed Great DemonGod was fascinated by him.

Still, that was alright. Even if Alex’s core didn’t change, he didn’t reject the true feelings Leila had revealed.

(I will never let go of you.)

As she hugged Alex tightly, Leila thought.

(If you don’t know, I’ll teach you.)

Her golden eyes shone with brilliance as she smiled brightly.

(You know, I can be quite arrogant and greedy.)

――After all, I am a proud dragon.

 

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