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[Episode 66 begins!]

I decided to keep a diary.

To make sure I don’t forget myself here.

I wrote down everything I could remember. I recorded the dates and causes of my deaths in each episode so far. I also wrote about why I ended up here and the situation Sora and I are in.

The hassle of rewriting the diary every episode was nothing compared to this situation.

If it means I won’t forget myself, I’ll do whatever it takes.

[Episode 71 begins!]

Come to think of it, what happened to my real body?

While writing the diary, that thought suddenly crossed my mind.

The device I used to log in as Tristan was Stella Corporation’s “Star Gear Pro.”

The Star Gear, a lower version of the Milky Way that Sora wore, is a dream device that allows gamers to connect to virtual worlds.

While VR devices only provide visual information, the Star Gear can connect the human mind directly into the game, almost like possession.

Among them, the Star Gear Pro I used was Stella’s latest prototype. Unlike the basic model, which only provides dull feedback through simple electrical stimulation, the Pro model replicates real-world sensations, offering an incredibly realistic experience.

However, repeated use beyond a certain number of times could cause side effects like short-term memory loss, so it wasn’t officially released and was only used for testing. If you controlled the number of logins, it was the best gaming device in existence.

I guess my real body is somewhere, still wearing the Star Gear.

Since CEO Park turned me into a living NPC, he probably won’t “dispose” of me like Remina as long as this game exists.

Still, it’s frustrating.

The fact that my body is in the hands of a scumbag like CEO Park.

I need to find a way out before something happens to my body.

The only opportunity I can aim for is when the online service opens and players come in from the outside… That’s probably my only chance.

If I tell them about CEO Park’s atrocities and my situation, they’ll help me. They’ll be furious, asking how humans can do such terrible things to other humans.

So, I’ll have to pretend to be Tristan and hold out until the service starts.

[Episode 86 begins!]

Tristan had many enemies.

True to his setting as the worst villain, there were many within the Empire who wanted me dead.

Some sent assassins, others plotted poisonings, and some tried to stage accidents.

I wanted to kill them all, but I stopped myself because it felt like I was giving in to the “Wrath” and other evil personality traits I’ve been suppressing.

The more I indulge in those instincts, the more I become Tristan.

[Episode 92 begins!]

It’s strange, really.

It’s almost the 100th episode, and in terms of time, I’ve been living here for over a year.

But there’s been no sign of the service opening, nor has CEO Park or any company employee shown up.

Suddenly, I was gripped by fear.

What if the game development was abandoned? If something happened and the game service was discontinued, I’d be trapped here forever. Not to mention, Sora’s life support would also be cut off.

That would be the most horrifying ending for me.

But sadly, there’s no way for me to check. Cut off from the outside world, I have no way to communicate with it.

Ah… At this moment, I miss her, my former colleague. She was my senior and helped me a lot. She was so kind, even buying me coffee when I spilled mine…

Huh? But…

What was her name again?

[Episode 108 begins!]

The more I died, the more I learned. How to survive and avoid these death flags.

Dying the same way once or twice is fine, but by the third time, it gets boring. By the fourth or fifth time, my body starts to dodge on its own.

Looking at this, Tristan’s reflexes aren’t that bad. If he trained, he might have a decent body…

[Episode 131 begins!]

Tristan’s body now feels more like mine than my real body. From the lukewarm bathwater to the medium-rare steak, even the heavy humidity in the room after rain—I’ve become sensitive to it all. Maybe his meticulous personality has rubbed off on me.

Especially, I’ve become adept at sensing hostility toward me. It’s hard to explain, but I can vaguely feel when someone harbors ill will. Thanks to that, I know how many people hold grudges against me.

It’s depressing to be hated for no reason, but I guess it’s for the best.

If I sense hostility, I can avoid them before anything happens.

[Episode 157 begins!]

Crash!

“Ah, ahhh! I-I’m so sorry!”

She’s really someone you can’t let your guard down around.

I caught the fork and knife mid-air that almost took my life in the last episode.

Wendy was carrying a tray of dishes to wash when she tripped and spilled them toward me. It’s one thing to trip in front of me, but the fork and knife bouncing around and flying toward my neck? That’s impossible without intent.

But Wendy wasn’t trying to kill me. This is entirely due to her personality trait, “Misfortune.”

If this were a game, it’d be a bug, but Wendy was designed this way. She’s meant to be a flawed character who gets killed by Tristan, leading her brother Peter to seek revenge.

As long as she’s in this world, she can’t escape the effects of “Misfortune.”

But I never imagined she’d still be alive this long.

I didn’t expect to die in such a comedic way, stabbed by a fork and knife from her spilled dishes. There was no malice or hostility, so it felt utterly pointless.

Still, I’m proud of myself for catching the fork and knife mid-air just two episodes later.

“A-Are you okay…?!”

I almost died, so of course I’m not okay.

But I didn’t feel like scolding her.

“Call another maid to clean this up.”

“Eek?! B-But…”

“I won’t say it twice. And try not to appear in front of me again.”

“Eeeek…! I-I’m sorry! I messed up…! Sniff…”

Wendy hurriedly went to call the senior maids. Watching her trip over her own feet, it was more pitiful than funny.

[Episode 174 begins!]

“…I thought you were cold-hearted, but it seems you have this side too.”

Bella looked at me with a hint of surprise.

I started taking in stray dogs from the city and raising them in the mansion. Though they were shy at first, they wagged their tails when I fed them personally.

“I thought you didn’t like animals.”

“I don’t like or dislike them.”

Truthfully, I was exhausted.

Repeated deaths had started to crack my mental state, and just yesterday, I self-harmed so much that I lost all vitality.

“I heard somewhere that people who like animals aren’t bad. What do you think, Count?”

“…That’s nonsense.”

I didn’t take them in because I like animals.

I just needed comfort. If I kept enduring the personality traits and self-harming, my soul would wither. So, I decided to soothe my mind by petting animals.

Surprisingly, it worked—though I had to focus intensely while petting them.

“Is that so? Well, I guess you’re not that kind of person.”

“Right.”

Bella gave a bitter smile.

The more episodes passed, the more Bella tried to see me as a good person. It’s probably the influence of Dummy World.

I made sure not to do anything particularly cruel to Bella in each episode.

Bella is the main heroine—noble, just, and beautiful. She’s untouchable, someone I should never approach.

Yes, Tristan is someone who doesn’t belong with her. Knowing my place, I tried to avoid creating any connection with her. I answered her questions curtly or deliberately gave answers she didn’t expect.

But oddly, my behavior didn’t seem so bad to her.

As these perceptions accumulated over episodes, she began to change.

“Count, how long have we known each other?”

“Long enough.”

“Then, do you remember Dmitri?”

A name I’d never heard before came out of her mouth, and I looked at her.

She was as composed as ever, but her blue eyes seemed to expect some answer from me. But…

“Dmitri? Who’s that?”

“…Never mind. If you’ve forgotten, it’s fine.”

Bella sighed softly and avoided my gaze.

What’s this? Who’s Dmitri, and why is she so disappointed?

Not knowing the distant past between Bella and Tristan, I had no way of knowing.

[Episode 194 begins!]

By the 194th episode, I was suffering from headaches due to login side effects. There were also psychological reasons. The stress of resisting the personality traits with each episode was immense.

My body was covered in self-inflicted wounds from trying to protect my ego from the personality traits. Every day felt like a war with myself. Hurting my body and enduring the pain made it feel like hell.

I was becoming more and more listless.

The clash between the personality traits and my ego often put me in mentally unbearable situations.

Because of that, I stopped needlessly tormenting people or using my wealth and power to pressure nobles.

Helga, who had returned from deployment, was the first to notice the change.

“Count, is something troubling you?”

Walking through the mansion’s garden in the rain with an umbrella, I shook my head.

“Nothing…”

“Or is there someone you want to deal with? Just say the word. I can take care of it for you. Hehe…”

“No. It’s not that…”

I was starting to feel like I was reaching my limit.

In terms of episodes, it felt like I’d been living as Tristan for years. If I keep living as Tristan, I might become him, just as CEO Park said.

Sometimes, when it became unbearable, I’d take a walk and try to remember myself—Jeong Ji-hwan.

—!!

Then, a gust of wind blew, and I lost my grip on the umbrella. It floated into the air and flew away.

Watching that seemingly insignificant moment, I felt a profound sense of loss.

Maybe my identity as Jeong Ji-hwan is disappearing too. Slipping from my grasp, forever out of reach.

But even though I lost the umbrella, the rain didn’t pour down on me.

“Count, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but…”

Helga held her umbrella over my head.

“Such a gloomy look doesn’t suit you.”

“What if… I’m not actually Tristan?”

“Huh?”

My sudden question was a bit lacking in context.

“I mean… If I’m not the Tristan you’ve known all this time, but someone who looks just like him… What would you do?”

“Hmm…”

Helga, wearing an eyepatch, looked at me carefully with her one eye before speaking.

“Is it because of the rain? You’re asking quite a philosophical question, unlike yourself. Well, even if that were the case… I have the discernment to know who I’ll serve for life.”

Raindrops slowly soaked Helga’s hair.

“From that perspective, I think the ‘current’ you is someone worth serving.”

But she didn’t seem to mind at all, smiling softly at me.

“Don’t forget. No matter what happens, I’ll be your umbrella.”

 

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