---

“Is there a problem just because I’m a soldier?”

Putting aside the fact that I found it hard to agree with the claim of being a great soldier, I simply couldn’t understand how being a soldier could lead to issues.

Instructor Rilya clicked her tongue and shook her finger.

“No, it’s not ‘just a soldier’—it’s a very great soldier. For instance, if a monster were to invade this room right now, Instructor Graham wouldn’t even be surprised and would crush that monster, right?”

I nodded lightly.

He wouldn’t be entirely unfazed, though. The appearance of uncontrollable monsters within the academy would be nearly impossible.

However, regardless of those thoughts, my body would react in an instant to the intruding monster. Just like it had for the past 20 years.

“Why’s that?”

“Why, you ask…?”

“Because even at this very moment, you’re always on guard?”

That was spot on.

It wasn’t that I was specifically wary of Instructor Rilya. I had been like that since before entering this room, even before stepping into Garnet Red Dormitory.

This was something like my occupational hazard.

“At first, I thought you were just nervous about entering a woman’s room. Since Graham is a man, I figured it was only natural to be self-conscious. But no matter how I looked at it, that didn’t seem to be the case. So I thought of other reasons.”

Instructor Rilya spoke rather comfortably, perhaps due to the wine.

“It’s because you’ve been ambushed from behind too many times to count, right? Keeping the entrance and window in your line of sight is to secure an escape route at any time, huh? Looking around as soon as you enter is to check for any dangerous items… am I right?”

“Quite detailed.”

“I’m an instructor for both tactics and history, you know? So I have to know a lot about warfare. How those who’ve experienced war change… you end up knowing without wanting to.”

Instructor Rilya sipped her wine.

“Is the reason you push students so hard in class because you’ve seen so many kids die on the battlefield?”

I slowly nodded in response to her question.

Could it really be just because I had seen?

I was directly involved in that.

At just fourteen, I was thrown into the battlefield after receiving a weapon that wasn’t even a proper weapon and armor that was hardly armor, with only a few weeks of pitiful basic training that was ridiculously insufficient to survive.

My sturdy body, which had no match in the village, was no great help on the battlefield. There was no one to teach me how to become stronger and survive.

At the front lines against monsters, everyone was too busy looking out for their own lives. No one had the time to care for a young child who was soon to collapse and die.

If it hadn’t been for Charlotte, I would have died many times over back then.

Even after becoming stronger, not much changed. The stronger I became, the stronger the enemies I had to face were. In a fierce battlefield where even the smallest mistake or moment of distraction could cost you your life, I had to learn how to survive through my own body.

Instructor Rilya asked gently in an even tone.

“Have you ever lost someone precious during a war?”

I clinked my empty wine glass down on the table.

“Let’s stop there.”

The room fell silent.

I felt a chill creeping through my veins.

Charlotte’s face was the first to flash through my mind, but I wasn’t only thinking of her.

Once, I had people I could call comrades. People I trusted and relied on. There were countless whom I wanted to save but could not.

Instructor Rilya leaned forward and gently placed her hand on my rough, scarred hand, which felt so small and soft compared to her own.

She looked at me with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry for bringing up those bad memories.”

I lightly shook my head, signaling that I was fine.

The past is the past. Hadn’t I made the decision long ago not to dwell too much on what had passed?

I wanted to stop looking back and start looking forward in life.

How to do that, I’m still learning.

“I don’t know the details of the experiences Instructor Graham has had, but they surely couldn’t have been good. I understand that those experiences have made you prioritize efficiency and survival above all else. I don’t wish to deny that. Anyone who goes through what Instructor Graham has would likely end up like that.”

After a moment of hesitation, Instructor Rilya slowly continued.

“But not everyone has gone through war. It’s something that shouldn’t be experienced.”

“There’s no harm in preparing for the worse.”

“The students won’t even realize the necessity of that preparation. They may understand it with their heads, but their hearts are different. They haven’t experienced it.”

“I thought it was my job to make them aware of that. Isn’t that right?”

Instructor Rilya slowly shook her head.

“I can’t judge whether Instructor Graham’s educational policies are right or wrong. There are no definite answers in education. However…”

“But?”

“Students might feel that their instructor doesn’t cherish their own experiences.”

For a moment, I lost my words.

The Kalstein Marquis had asked me to teach the students how to survive. Up until now, I thought I had been faithfully adhering to that request.

Nothing is more important than life. Clinging to a weapon that doesn’t suit you is one of the easiest ways to die. If you want to survive, unnecessary greed is nothing but a luxury. That had been the deeply rooted value in my mind until now.

I couldn’t understand Gwen’s actions.

But Gwen probably felt the same way about me. She had never experienced what I had.

Had I been too focused on my own experiences to consider what the students valued?

No, perhaps I had considered it, but I may not have thought it was more important than survival.

Instructor Rilya smiled softly as she said,

“Have you tried to understand why Gwen values the Sword of the Rock so much? I believe there’s an answer in there.”

“…I’ll talk to Gwen once.”

“That’s the only thing I hoped for.”

Instructor Rilya seemed to have thought from the very beginning that a sincere conversation was necessary between Gwen and me.

But given the situation at that time, discussing things with Gwen would likely result in us both just going in circles, so perhaps she wanted to tell me that I needed to understand things from the student’s perspective.

I wasn’t quite sure what I should discuss. But I was willing to try to understand.

I spoke in a self-deprecating tone.

“I still have many shortcomings.”

“Instructor Graham is an excellent instructor even now. You’ll surely improve from here.”

Instructor Rilya spoke as if she were tipsy, with a slightly dazed tone.

“I like people who are aware of their shortcomings and try to improve.”

I looked at Instructor Rilya with slight surprise at her words.

With her half-opened eyes, Instructor Rilya stared blankly for a moment and then flushed red, as if she had just realized what she had said.

“Ah, no! I mean, th-this doesn’t mean…! It doesn’t mean I like you in that way!? I just mean that, as people, I feel fondness—not in a romantic sense…!”

“Okay, I get it, just calm down.”

When the atmosphere turned awkward, wine was the best remedy.

I poured wine into Instructor Rilya’s empty glass as a means of calming down, and she gulped it down in one go. That wasn’t what I meant by having her take it all at once.

Instructor Rilya seemed unsatisfied and snatched the wine bottle from my hand, pouring wine into both her glass and mine.

“Ugh! Instructor Graham, you should drink more too! You haven’t taken a sip here since earlier!”

“No, I’m done—”

“No refusals!”

This is bad. I had deliberately avoided drinking because I didn’t like how it loosened my tension.

Reluctantly, I decided to indulge in just one more drink.

“Alright, cheers—!”

Instructor Rilya tried to force a toast, likely to brush off the earlier atmosphere, and I clinked glasses with her, feeling a bit out of sorts.

She didn’t take it as a shot this time, but she still drained her glass halfway, exclaiming with a satisfied sigh. Strangely enough, her expression reminded me of the Kalstein Marquis.

That was undoubtedly an impolite thought…

“Ah, but we have a big problem. I accidentally helped a rival, so I’ve done something bad to our students.”

“A rival?”

“The class competition. Oh right, Instructor Graham probably doesn’t know yet. Traditionally, at the end of the semester in Filion, each class has a competition. After the midterms, you’ll prepare for it too.”

I lightly sipped from my wine glass, thinking.

“Can they even compete? There’s a significant difference in numbers.”

“If all classes clash, Diamond White and Garnet Red would obviously win. So they choose around twenty outstanding candidates to represent their class.”

“Still, twenty is something.”

“Eh, Opal Black is garnering attention from both Garnet Red and other classes, you know? Each individual is quite remarkable.”

Instructor Rilya grinned mischievously.

“And I know you’re remarkable too.”

“That’s an overestimation.”

“Really? Hehe, you’ll find out when the time comes.”

After chatting about trivial matters with Instructor Rilya for a while, I noticed the time and realized curfew was approaching. I needed to return to the dormitory before it got too late.

Just as I was about to tell Instructor Rilya that I had to get going, she suddenly spoke first.

“Uh, Instructor Graham.”

“Yes.”

“They say that people who go through harsh experiences and suffer mental scars often heal with the emotional support of someone close, like family or friends… Do you have someone like that, Instructor Graham?”

I shook my head.

My family had perished in an assault during the war, along with my hometown. Friends were no different. I hardly had anyone I could call a friend, and none of the survivors remained after the war.

“W-well then….”

Instructor Rilya was silent for a moment, seemingly struggling to find her words.

“Do you, do you have a… a lover?”

“……”

I pondered what to say to Instructor Rilya, who was watching me closely for any hint of a response.

I had a relationship similar to that of lovers with Ella and Charlotte. Ella was my first experience, and it was mutual. It had been a careless time, but surely we would not have had that relationship if there were no feelings involved.

Charlotte was similar. The situation was so dire that we hadn’t expressly stated it, but I had shared an unmentionable bond with her as well.

Yet, even with feelings involved, I had never truly established any formal relationship. Neither when they left my side nor at any other time.

They surely were alive somewhere.

No matter how I thought about it, it was difficult to speak of them as lovers. I didn’t regard them as such myself.

Just as I was about to respond with a “no,” someone suddenly approached our room.

“Someone’s coming.”

“Huh? Who could it be at this hour…?”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Instructor Bennett! Are you in there?! I know you’re in there! Open the door right now!”

“Gah! Instructor Hartzfelt!”

“Who is it?!”

“It’s, it’s our dorm supervisor…! What could this possibly be about?”

Instructor Rilya’s complexion turned pale in an instant.

Meanwhile, the furious voice knocking on the door grew louder.

“Instructor Bennett! Don’t tell me you’re drinking alone in there again?! I told you last time that would be the last!”

Again? This has happened multiple times before?

“H-Hartzfelt! I just got out of the shower so…! I’ll change quickly and open the door!”

“Don’t lie! I’ve had reports that someone has been making noise at this hour! You don’t have another person in there, do you?! As an instructor, you should be setting an example for the students!”

Instructor Rilya had mentioned earlier that this room wasn’t very soundproof. It seems that’s how she got caught.

She quickly darted her gaze between the door and me, panic etched on her face.

“Instructor Graham! You have to get out of here quickly! If they find out you’re here, I’m dead!”

“Eh? No, where should I even…?”

Instructor Rilya’s gaze drifted toward the window.

I asked back in disbelief, “Are you serious?”

“I-I’m so sorry…! But if they find out I’ve been drinking and have a man over, I might really get kicked out of the dorm! And if strange rumors spread among the students, we’d both be in serious trouble…!”

That was a valid point.

If rumors spread that I had been drinking in a room with Instructor Rilya since the first week of the semester, I didn’t want to imagine how the Garnet Red and Opal Black students would perceive me.

I sighed deeply, feeling the weight of the situation.

“This is the only time it’ll happen.”

“I’ll apologize properly later. I’m really sorry…!”

I opened the window and jumped down in one go. The person who told me to jump seemed more surprised, as I heard a small scream from above.

Jumping from the third floor was nothing significant with the capabilities of my body. I landed quietly on the ground, taking care to minimize noise.

Just as I thought I couldn’t have landed any more silently than a falling cat, I suddenly locked eyes with Theo Bailey, who was gazing blankly out the window.

“Huh? W-wait! Instructor Ion? Huh? This is Garnet Red Dormitory, right? What? Above… huh? Wait a minute, no way….”

I unleashed the full extent of my momentum.

Theo Bailey froze like an ant before an elephant.

I put a finger to my lips, signaling him to be silent.

He nodded frantically, unable to breathe.

Once I confirmed that, I quietly slipped out of the Garnet Red Dormitory without anyone noticing.

“Ha….”

I felt dizzy.

It was definitely not due to the alcohol.

*

Before curfew, I returned to Opal Black Dormitory.

In the otherwise empty training grounds, Gwen Tris was swinging her sword alone.

 

---