The first thing I felt upon waking was the loneliness that came from my empty right hand.

As I lay there, still sluggish from sleep, I realized how selfish that sentiment was, and my cheeks flushed red with wrath and shame.

Rather than getting up, I chose to curl up in my bed, wrapping myself tightly in the blanket. Even though it was the beginning of a new day, I was already disillusioned with myself.

“It’s horrible, horrible, too horrible. How selfish am I…”

Curled up in my bed, the girl—Emilia—muttered and let out a long, drawn-out sigh over her own disgrace.

As I repeatedly opened and closed my palms under the covers, I remembered the sensation that had been there just before falling asleep.

Rugged, thick fingers. My fingertips were slightly hardened, entirely different from my own thin, frail fingers. Each time I had the chance to hold that hand, I thought about how different it was from my own.

The boy—Subaru—had worried about me, gently speaking to me and continuing to hold my hand until he succumbed to sleep. The comforting feel of his rough yet delicate hands was what I first thought about in the haze of waking, and the absence of that touch left me feeling an unshakeable loneliness.

Despite leaning on him so much, I still wished for my own selfish desires to be a burden on that boy. Even though I had already troubled everyone around me far beyond repair out of my own weakness and guilt.

It was already the fourth day since visiting the “Sanctuary”—having crossed over the first day, on the day before yesterday and yesterday, Emilia had thrown herself into the “Trial” hidden in the depths of the Sanctuary.

For Emilia, who aimed to win the Royal Selection and seek the throne of the Lugnica Kingdom, the power of the “Sanctuary” was a necessary first step.

Roswaal, who governed this land, was Emilia’s supporter, and the residents with complicated backgrounds were those who stood close to Emilia because she was a half-elf. In a place where circumstances were this favorable, if I couldn’t prove myself and earn their recognition, how could I achieve anything in the future?

Emilia’s position in the Royal Selection was undeniably at a disadvantage compared to the other candidates. For the weak Emilia to survive, she needed the cooperation of those around her. Trust to secure that cooperation had to be built solely on her own actions.

Understanding her position correctly, what Emilia needed to do and display in the “Sanctuary” was clear; there were no doubts in that regard.

However, a shadow hung over the forward-looking look in her eyes—

“…the ‘Trial’.”

The only absolute condition for being recognized by the residents of the “Sanctuary” was to overcome the “Trial.”

The residents could not leave the area surrounded by the barrier set up by the tomb. To join them in battling the outside world, Emilia needed to break the barrier through the “Trial.” From a psychological standpoint, if she couldn’t at least achieve that, they wouldn’t be inclined to recognize her.

Both the physical and emotional challenges could be resolved simply by overcoming the “Trial.” Since the problem was concentrated in one area, there was no reason to weave intricate theories or unnecessary arguments.

The trouble was that the aspect of the “Trial” had become a deadly poison for Emilia.

—The inorganic voice echoing through the cemetery was telling her to confront her past.

If she closed her eyes, she could sharply recall that white world.

In an instant, Emilia’s body felt as if it had been tossed naked into the freezing cold, and uncontrollable shivers began to shake her.

The icy fear racing through her body reminded her either of the chill from that day or the terror she still hadn’t forgotten.

What must Subaru have thought after hearing the past she hesitantly recounted?

The haunting past that tied her to guilt, which now shackled her—she had confessed it to Subaru just yesterday, around noon.

After her first confrontation with the “Trial” the previous night, Emilia’s heart had been utterly crushed. Crying, wailing, and throwing a fit in Subaru’s arms as he comforted her, she finally regained some composure before delivering the news of her failure in the challenge to those waiting outside the tomb.

Emilia didn’t remember the expressions on everyone’s faces when they heard her words.

She had no luxury to check each face as she was exposed to either contempt or disappointment. She merely put on a brave front and fled to the designated house assigned to her, understanding that she had become all alone the moment she broke away from everyone. Immediately afterward, she was consumed by unbearable terror.

Unable to remain shut in, she burst out of the building and trembled in the night wind when she ran into Subaru, walking through the moonlight once more.

After that, when Subaru confessed to her that he was willing to risk anything for her sake, Emilia ran away, spouting idealistic resolutions.

Unaware of how devastated Subaru was to hear those words, Emilia, just as much, felt cornered by her own words.

She could not remember how she had returned to her inn afterward.

The next thing she knew, she was hearing Subaru’s voice calling her as she lay collapsed on the floor.

Thus, talking about the “Trial,” the very cause of her own troubles, was unavoidable.

What she spoke of her past to Subaru carried no embellishments or lies.

Emilia’s sins had been laid bare, and she had just been shown those sins in stark relief. She laid open the memories that she couldn’t forget, peeling back the scabs of her recollections and exposing raw wounds to the wind.

At the same time, she had confessed her utterly selfish motives to join the Royal Selection and strive for the throne.

Though she couldn’t ignore fear or reluctance,

Her youthful mistakes had resulted in unforgivable losses, and without paying those costs, she continued to live alone, ticking away the moments.

Ultimately, the method she had chosen to atone only embroiled many more in the fire.

It seemed obvious that she should be met with exasperation, contempt, and distance.

On the flip side of that, somewhere in her heart, Emilia found herself confident that surely Subaru wouldn’t abandon her.

Natsuki Subaru wouldn’t turn away from her even upon learning what cruel past she had and how she sought to atone in such a selfish manner.

Up until now, Subaru had suffered, grieved, and persevered through a variety of burdens, and Emilia had witnessed the results of his actions.

He was a gentle and loyal boy, deeply caring. Even while carrying so much, he didn’t even entertain the thought of casting it aside, running on despite being battered.

If her existence was also among that burden he carried, surely even if Emilia had the ugliest of souls, he wouldn’t let go of her.

—That was a calculation that could be seen as truly cruel and malicious.

Despite shaking her head to deny such thoughts, it would be a lie to say they hadn’t crossed her mind even once. And if somewhere in her heart she had a glimmer of hope for that outcome, then it would be the same as affirming all that was Emilia.

She could only confess her past, trusting that there was someone who wouldn’t hate her.

In this perilous moment, Subaru’s expression could not conceal his astonishment and turmoil upon hearing Emilia’s past, but he didn’t lay any accusations toward her.

Holding Emilia’s hand, worn down by mental fatigue from her confession, the gentleness she felt hadn’t changed one bit.

So infuriatingly, Subaru’s feelings worked just as the ugly parts of Emilia had expected.

With his worrying gaze always trained on Emilia and those sharp eyes now filled with concern, he cared for her more than anyone. That kindness was far too sweet a poison for Emilia.

It melted her heart, softened her resolve, threatening to expose her ugly true feelings.

If she could only surrender everything, perhaps if Subaru would shoulder her burdens, she wouldn’t have to face the hardships on her own. If she said such childish laments to turn away from unpleasant truths, Subaru would surely expend himself for her sake without hesitation.

—Such thinks should not be permitted.

Since the moment they met, Emilia had always been saved by Subaru.

In the Thieves’ Repository in the Royal Capital, within the house threatened by beasts, in the face of glances from the other candidates in the Royal Selection hall, and amidst villains targeting the village and estate.

Emilia had continually clung to Subaru’s hand. Watching him suffer made her feel undeserving of such treatment, and she had shaken his hand off before.

Yet Natsuki Subaru had never once intended to turn away from Emilia.

On top of that, in a turn of events, he had confessed his intent to help her, even with no clear reason to do so.

That kind of declaration she had never experienced before.

The only ones who had ever shown her kindness were her fellow elves from the forest where she had lived and later Pak, who had acted in a parental role for her over a long period.

After being lured outside the forest by Roswaal, Emilia became acutely aware of the deplorable state a half-elf was in, which deepened her understanding during her trips to the Royal Capital.

While riding on Roswaal’s proposals and achieving her own goals, Emilia had also nurtured a faint hope that perhaps she could change the deeply ingrained prejudice against half-elves—though she also thought of that hope as an illusion she wasn’t prepared to fully believe.

That was why Subaru, that devoted boy, declaring he loved her with all he had, including the fact she was a half-elf or her weaknesses, was such an enormous thing for Emilia.

They weren’t of the same race or predestined to be together; their meeting had been purely coincidental, and through nurturing their bond, warmth blossomed: Emilia had been saved by that alone.

That was why Emilia could not lean on Subaru now.

For every hardship he bore for Emilia, scars, both physical and emotional, accumulated on Subaru’s body.

Emilia thought Subaru was not especially strong—neither in heart nor body.

He possessed a strong will and a kind heart capable of caring for others, yet he was not a special person.

Sadly, he could cry when he got hurt, and if he lost too much blood, he would die.

He was just an ordinary boy.

Emilia had no intention of piling on more hardships onto such an ordinary boy.

She only wanted him to remain by her side, supporting her back as she kept looking forward; anything beyond that seemed too selfish.

She was so ashamed of herself for even wishing for that.

By relying on him to bolster her already-fragile resolve, Emilia could surely overcome her obstacles without breaking.

Confronting the challenges before her should be her own responsibility.

“Because otherwise…”

If she kept relying on Subaru for everything, leaning on him, and pushing her burdens onto him, someday he would surely come to see her as a burden.

The thought of such a day ever coming was terrifying.

That was something she had long tried to avoid wanting. It had been something she had given up on even as she longed for it deep down.

Because it had come to pass, because it had been given to her, because she had taken the offered hand—Emilia could no longer conceive of losing it.

“—”

Emilia’s sins stained the forest white, encasing her friends and family beneath the snow and ice.

She herself had fallen into a long slumber within the ice, spending nearly a hundred years before being saved by Pack, without ever realizing her sins.

The guilt she wanted to turn away from was unbearable. The most sinful part was that she didn’t remember any of the concrete parts of her actions.

The details had slipped away; she was aware her deeds had plunged everyone into white stagnation, yet she remembered none of her thoughts nor her reasons for those deeds.

She thought it was only natural to be called the Witch’s Child.

Woken from her icy slumber by Pack, Emilia had spent seven years in the Erior Forest. In the frozen woods, she could neither produce nor grow food, and most of her meals came from visiting nearby villages.

She could never forget the fearful gazes turned her way or being referred to as the “Witch of the Frozen Woods.”

Being called a witch suited her perfectly.

Mumbling to herself, she spoke the resolve needed to overcome the “Trial,” finding it hollow. How could she possibly triumph over that “past”? It was beyond Emilia’s imagination.

Just brushing off Subaru’s probing with sweet words, Emilia chose to remain cocooned within the shell of her dreams.

It was shortly after that she fell asleep while confirming the feel of Subaru’s palm.

—Even then, she didn’t believe she had dreamt.

When she awoke, Subaru was watching over her in the same position he had been in when she fell asleep. Emilia felt an overwhelming emotion rise within her chest as he took her hand and stepped into the night of the “Sanctuary” to challenge the “Trial.”

As expected, she couldn’t overcome the “Trial.”

Waving goodbye to Subaru and Ram, under the scrutinizing gazes of Garfiel and Ryuzu, Emilia stepped into the tomb. However, the “Trial” didn’t acknowledge her at all, despite not having any clear breakthrough or bright conditions prepared.

The unyielding “past” tormented, gnawed at, and then rejected her.

When Emilia regained consciousness on the cold, hard floor of the tomb, she realized her cheeks were wet. She found it unbearably disgraceful to shed tears given her pathetic state.

She neither overcame nor grasped the thread of the “Trial,” exiting the tomb looking worn out, where Subaru and the others welcomed her with concern.

Afterward, as before, she was instructed to rest within the building, collapsing onto the bed where she drifted into unconsciousness—only to find herself awakening now, this morning.

“In the end, I’ve made no progress at all… I’m such a failure…”

If anything was clear from yesterday, it was the undeniable fact that she was an utterly weak child, burdening Subaru and everyone around her endlessly, and still not finding any rays of hope ahead.

“Pack…”

The pendant hanging from her neck—the green glimmer at the tip was Pack, the spirit Emilia had contracted.

Whenever she called out his name in a tiny voice, it was a ritual for him to reply in his usual calm tone, “What is it?”

Yet that response had been absent for almost two weeks now.

At first, Emilia thought maybe he had entered his dormant phase, which typically happened every few months. There had been occasions in the past where she received no responses from Pack, and each time, she endured the loneliness while waiting for his return and awakening.

However, he usually returned from the dormant phase within three or four days, and a situation like this prolonged absence had never occurred before. Above all, even during dormancy, Pack had always responded to Emilia’s serious calls, interrupting his slumber.

Yet now, that response felt so distant.

What could have happened to him?

Had something irretrievable occurred during his dormant period, preventing him from appearing? If that were the case, what was Emilia supposed to do?

Even after spending such a long time together with Pack, unable to shake off the feeling of being left behind like this, she couldn’t find a single means to call out to him.

The issues surrounding the “Trial,” her relationship with Subaru, and the resolution of her past, alongside Pack’s absence, offered Emilia no bright prospects.

“…I’m such a fool.”

Stuck in this deadlock, she almost began to complain about the absence of someone who would normally be there to lend a hand before stopping right at the edge.

If she succumbed to that, she would only fall deeper into an irretrievable situation. Emilia had already viewed herself as lowly as possible but didn’t want to imagine there was a bottom lower than that.

“No, I can’t. I need to stop thinking so negatively… I know Pack must have a reason for not showing up right now. I haven’t figured anything out regarding the ‘Trial.’ I have to get it together, I have to!”

Elevating her hands, she struck her pale cheeks, trying to rally her spirits.

Looking up afterward, she ran her fingers through her disheveled hair. —There was a part of her struggling with this simple task. She had always relied on Pack for this work. Emilia had never taken the lead in tidying herself up.

Touching to check that it wasn’t too tangled, she avoided looking in the mirror. The mirror in the room had long been covered with cloth to reflect nothing, sitting neglected in the corner.

Controlling the ends of her hair, she decided she had completed at least the bare minimum of preparations. Then, she gathered her silver hair into a single long braid.

Preparing her braid—control over Emilia’s daily hairstyle was a significant aspect of the contract she had with Pack. She hadn’t received any style instructions from him for the past two weeks, yet she continued with the same instructions from their last morning together.

Of course, other day-to-day activities like bathing or chatting with nature spirits were only carried out in small measures that fell far short of liveliness. It terrified Emilia that maintaining that connection to Pack, now obscured, might vanish if she didn’t keep it up.

“—”

She parted her hair in the center, creating two braids, much like usual. Yet today, she prepared one long braid that flowed down her back.

She would properly honor her contract with Pack today, wishing for the continuity of that contract.

With the warm awareness of an unbreakable link residing within her…

“…Huh?”

As Emilia prepared to change her clothes before Ram fetched water, she let out a small voice of surprise.

Before her wide-opening amethyst eyes, she looked down only to see her chest pendant.

The pendant, which she had confirmed held the green crystal, was testimony to Pack’s existence, but—now, a sudden crack appeared on its surface.

“Wha… Huh…? Wait, w-what’s going on…?”

Placing her hand on the spontaneously cracked crystal, Emilia let out a soundless gasp.

Her eyes trembled with intense agitation, and she cautiously stroked the surface of the crystal with trembling fingertips. The connection from her finger tip spread along the crack, a small muffled cry escaping her lips.

“N-no… No, please… Wait… Pack, hold on…”

Desperate, Emilia shook her head, but the decay of the crystal didn’t cease.

Straining not to jostle the crystal, she poured all her strength into the palm that held it, trying to maintain the current state, but the unstoppable trembling only accelerated its collapse, causing the vessel to lose shape within Emilia’s hands.

When that decay spread entirely, what would happen?

In this unthinkable situation that she had never prepared for, Emilia’s mind went blank.

But one thing became clear.

“If this continues, Pack will…!”

This meant a farewell with someone she considered family.

“—!”

She raised her gaze. Looking around. No one was there. It was still early morning; she sensed no signs of awakening beings outside. Even if she shouted, it surely wouldn’t reach anyone. Even if she dared run for help, the tremor might pull the trigger on the end, so Emilia remained still.

Silent, even halting her breathing, Emilia watched as the crystal slowly lost its shape in her hands.

There were no solutions here. At this point, Emilia was more focused on desperately trying to delay the inevitable rather than actively trying to avert it.

And then—

“—Ah.”

The neglect in her efforts to evade consequences returned as a dry cracking sound echoed as the crystal shattered.

Emilia’s dazed eyes widened, her palm holding the crystal completely lost its shape. The crystal shattered, its fragments turned colorless, losing their life’s essence and dimming their glow.

“Wha… No, Pack, this can’t be real!”

With her final slivers of hope, Emilia called out to the broken orb in a hoarse whisper.

But the remnant of the gem—devoid of its shape—was nothing but green dust now. It had lost even the power to retain a minuscule trace of mana, waiting only to scatter in the wind.

To anyone’s eyes, Emilia’s fleeting hope had already been extinguished.

The one person who couldn’t accept that reality was Emilia herself.

“No, it can’t be… This isn’t how it was supposed to be… Because Pack told me, the first time, he told me… We’re family… You wouldn’t leave me alone!”

Desperately clinging to that once-secured promise, Emilia repeatedly uttered the words that had been turned into her own childish mantra.

In response to her pleading, the shattered stone remained silent.

“…N-no…”

Then, as if unable to endure that silence, her eyes caught the unbearable reality before her, and yet understanding the truth, they gazed at the ceiling, tears shimmering violet as she cried out,

“You’re a liar, Pack’s… Dad!!”

Dropping to her knees, she hurled the shards against the wall.

A faint sound rang out as the stone fragments struck the wooden wall, an apathetic echo that seemed to foreshadow the unbearably sudden parting between Emilia and Pack.

Cupping her face in her hands, Emilia continued to weep quietly.

Tears wouldn’t flow.

Only the empty feeling of loss weighed heavily in Emilia’s chest.