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The Villainous Noble Who Kept Rewinding After Death: The Story Somehow Changed When I Committed Suicide

Chapter 246: Guilt

After finishing my morning training and washing off the sweat in the bath, I returned to my room and glanced at my bed.

“Still sleeping, huh?”

Rarely for Fiera, even after the sun rose, she was curled up and sound asleep in my bed.

“Well, it’s not like there’s anything urgent, so I guess it’s fine.”

Right now, it was summer break, and since I had already wrapped up matters concerning Saramāju and Clan Kingdom, there was no need to rush into anything.

Because of that, I had been lounging around reading books while moderately moving my body, and Iris and Sharueina were also spending their time doing what they wanted.

Firstly, Iris was accompanying our mother to learn about managing the mansion and the duties of a duchess, while Sharueina was being taught ice magic by our father.

Shuvina and Sonia were challenging the A-Rank dungeon ‘Icy Fake’ that Fiera and I had previously cleared, and Sephiria was going around the church in the duchy providing food supplies for orphans and the poor.

Miria was busy working in the mansion alongside the other maids, and Kamael hadn’t come out of his room since the day he returned.

“Now, what should I do today?”

I used teleportation magic to return sleepy Fiera to her room, opened the window, and gazed at the town of Valentine Duchy spread out before me, thinking it might be a good day to go outside.

“Ahh, fresh air tastes great!”

After returning Fiera to her room, I changed into comfortable clothes, used flight magic to exit my room, and casually made my way to the town of Valentine Duchy.

Currently, I looked different from usual, with light brown hair and green eyes, so no one recognized me as Lewis.

“Summer really brings out the hustle and bustle in the town, doesn’t it?”

In winter, the stalls were nearly nonexistent due to snow, leading to a rather dull atmosphere in this capital city, but in summer, nobles from other territories would flock here for vacation, and merchants targeting them would also gather, making it a lively place.

“Hey there, young man! How about some icy treats?”

“Icy treats, huh?”

Icy treats were one of the specialties of Valentine Duchy, made by climbing the mountain north of the capital to gather ice, then crushing it and pouring syrup made from fruits over it.

This delicious dish could only be enjoyed in this territory, known for its pristine natural ice, drawing people even from other countries in the summer.

“I’ll take one!”

“Sure thing! What flavor do you want?”

“Strawberry.”

“Got it! Just a moment!”

The man said this while using specialized tools to shave the clear, high-quality ice without air bubbles, then poured bright red syrup over it and decorated it with sliced strawberries.

“Here you go! Waited long enough! You’re looking sharp, so I added extra strawberries!”

“Haha, thanks!”

After paying, I took a bite of the icy treat while walking, and the refreshing coolness mixed with the tangy strawberries was absolutely delightful.

“So good! Knowing that this can only be eaten here makes me really glad I was born in this territory.”

Previously, a merchant who noticed the demand for icy treats hired a magician to produce ice and planned to sell it as icy treats.

However, since magical creations contain a lot of the user’s magic power, anyone eating ice made from magic would experience magical backlash, possibly causing health issues, especially for children with lower resistances, putting them at risk of death.

Fortunately, the problem was identified before any sales could commence, preventing disaster. As a result, the magical icy treat business fell through, increasing the special appeal and demand for the icy treats of Valentine Duchy.

“Next, I’ll try that!”

I continued to stroll through the town, buying and tasting whatever caught my interest, savoring my time alone.

“Hmm? What’s that over there…?”

After walking for a while and stepping away from the crowded streets, I spotted a small church with a crowd gathering.

“A food drive, huh?”

It seemed the reason for the crowd was that sisters were conducting a food distribution.

“That means Sephiria is probably over there. I’m bored, so I’ll take a look.”

Not having any specific plans for later, I headed toward the spot where Sephiria was likely to be and observed the food distribution from a distance.

“Please… thank you for your patience…”

As expected, there was Sephiria clad in black robes, smiling as she handed out food to the impoverished.

“Thank you, Sister!”

“You’re welcome. I’m just happy to help. May God bless you.”

It appeared Sephiria was hiding her status as a saint, posing as a regular sister and busily moving around.

After watching her for a while from the shade, it seemed all the food had been distributed, and the poor people started to disperse as the sisters began cleaning up.

“Excuse me!”

“Hmm?”

Just as I was thinking of leaving, my eyes inadvertently met Sephiria’s as she hurried over, flustered.

“I’m sorry to call out to you! But why are you here, Lord Lewis?”

“I was just strolling around the town and happened to pass by. You were doing a food distribution today, huh?”

“Yes! I can’t settle down unless I’m doing something.”

Sephiria had visited the church in the capital of Valentine Duchy the day after returning from Clan Kingdom, and she had been seeking out small churches to conduct food drives since that very day.

Normally, one couldn’t organize a food drive that quickly, but she must have used the storage magic ring I had previously gifted her, utilizing the food stored within to organize the drive.

“But it seems there are always poor people in every town.”

“Well, there’s no town without them. This town has fewer compared to others.”

“That may be true.”

In a world plagued by monsters and wars, no matter how hard you try, the poor and orphans inevitably exist.

Still, Valentine Duchy had fewer such individuals than others, thanks to the low monster presence and the high skill of the knights, not to mention my father, the lord, who was concerned for the poor.

Conversely, Saramāju, where we had been until recently, overflowed with far more impoverished individuals and orphans, where it wouldn’t be uncommon for newborns to die within a week.

“What do you want to achieve in this world, Sephiria?”

“That’s a tough question. It would be nearly impossible for me, just one person, to create a world where everyone can live happily. Besides, humans are beings that can’t truly live in a perfectly equal or fair world. Even if we as humans reach an equal and fair position, we’ll likely look down on other races due to their differences, resulting in more poor people, orphans, and even slaves.”

“So, you won’t do anything?”

“No, that’s not it. I don’t believe I can save everyone. While we talk right now, someone I’ve never met is dying somewhere in the world. I used to think I could really save everyone—including those unknown to me.”

Indeed, as she stated, the past Sephiria genuinely believed that if all evil was vanquished, the world would become peaceful, and I had seen her act on that belief.

“Is that not the case anymore?”

“Yes. Now I want to focus on helping those I can reach rather than being troubled by the unknown. I no longer want to be arrogant and blind like my past self.”

“Hmm.”

Sephiria was the only one in this world who knew of her past.

That’s likely why she recalled her previous self and spoke those words, not wanting to turn into that past version.

“You’ve changed a lot.”

“Hehe. Perhaps it’s because I got to know you and came to understand my past self. I still don’t think I’ve atoned for my past mistakes, nor do I believe I can completely atone. But I want to do whatever I can, even just a little, for this land where you and your parents reside.”

(I see. That makes sense.)

It struck me now that Sephiria, knowing her past, also understood what her previous self had done.

That meant she knew she had played a part in the events leading to my parents’ demise.

The reason she spent less time in the duke’s mansion was likely because being around my parents left her feeling overwhelmed by guilt.

“Well, it doesn’t matter what you think about it; it’s none of my concern.”

“Hehe. That sounds like you.”

“But like I said before, I don’t plan on seeking revenge over past events. Just as my parents seem to have forgotten, you should have been living as another Sephiria without knowing that past. To me, the current you and the past you are completely different.”

“Lord Lewis…”

This wasn’t just about Sephiria; it applied to Iris and the others too. To me, the current versions of them and their past selves were entirely separate entities since the moment the world changed.

Just like I took different actions from the past, even if Iris and the others ultimately arrived at the same destination, the paths they took were different.

That meant, in every world, whether they were manipulated or possessed their own selves, they undoubtedly existed only in that specific world.

“Even so, that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t trust anyone anymore.”

“…………”

However, even if I understood that in my mind, the feelings from a once-broken heart couldn’t be fixed, and the despair when I was betrayed or killed lingered as past memories. With those accumulated emotions, I probably wouldn’t be able to trust anyone ever again.

“Well then. I should head back now.”

“Ah, yes. Understood.”

The moment I said that and stood up to leave, I noticed a figure rushing towards us in a panic from afar.

“Someone! Please help!”

The figure ran toward us, calling for help, then burst open the church door and rushed inside with the same momentum.

 

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