Volume 4 Chapter 71: “Ending List”
“`html
A blade cut deeply, sharply, invading and splitting the skin, causing life to spill out.
The surging fresh blood stained the green meadow in patches, and before the purple-haired youth looking down, Subaru’s body was reflexively convulsing.
With his eyes rolling back and foam spilling from the corners of his mouth, Subaru’s head continued to eject vast quantities of blood. Gradually, the flow of blood slowed, and just as a sound resembling a wheeze escaped him—
‘――――’
In that moment, Subaru clearly understood that his past self had lost his life.
There was no shared sensation between his conscious self and his past self. Nevertheless, the vivid feeling of having his throat slashed reverberated and continued to echo within Subaru, who was now just a soul.
“Emilia-sama, please… wipe Subaru’s face.”
“――――”
“He would wish for it to be you, not me. At the very least, let it be with your hands.”
While cleaning the blood-soaked knight sword and sheathing it, Julius spoke to the stunned Emilia.
At Subaru’s feet, the silver-haired girl sat with her knees collapsed, her expressionless purple indigo eyes unable to accept reality, and the tear-streaked cheeks shone as they caught the light without being wiped away.
With Emilia in such despair, Subaru’s nonexistent chest was pierced again and again by a sharp pain he couldn’t count. The sorrowful expression of Emilia bore the punishment for Subaru’s avoidance and stripped away his past insensitivity.
“Su…baru…”
Slowly, as if crawling, Emilia reached her hand to Subaru’s face, gently wiping the blood and vomit-stained skin. Even as her bare hands got dirty, she struggled to turn Subaru’s pained grimace into a more serene expression, but—
“Why…? Why did Subaru have to go through this…?”
Confusion. Emilia’s words were like empty questions, directed at someone who would return no answer.
Her ears heard nothing, her mouth responded to nothing, and nothing functioned at all.
To the corpse of Subaru, Emilia’s words no longer reached him.
‘――――’
Observing that scene, Subaru recalled a moment that stood apart from all others, the distinct time it happened.
It was the aftermath of the second battle against Petelgeuse, where he failed to break the madness of the Fiend, and ended up destroyed by the madman himself along with his own body.
Thanks to Felis’s magic that disturbed the flow of mana within him, the corpse that had received tremendous strain on its capillaries and internal organs was not in a pleasant state, to say the least. His skin bore blisters and rashes, and the half-opened eyes were dyed bright red from burst blood vessels.
Before being wiped away, his face was smeared with nosebleed, and had it not been for Julius’s mercy killing, his death would have been rendered even more wretched.
Even if his face looked peaceful in death, it wouldn’t save the hearts of those left behind. Especially for the people who had triumphed over the White Whale and swore a triumphant return to the Royal Capital after defeating Sloth—their disappointment and the looks of helplessness tugged painfully at their chests.
“Subaru-dono… I am truly sorry…”
Kneeling down, Wilhelm bowed his head toward the deceased Subaru.
Having completely slaughtered all the Witch Cultists under Petelgeuse, Wilhelm gazed downward with a face filled with agony. The old knight members of the expedition team shared similar grief, lamenting or lashing out at the ground in frustration. Some were so overwhelmed with emotion that they even shed tears.
Such a scene of mourning for his own demise left Subaru speechless.
Perhaps it was more than just being shown the grim reality of the afterlife he had previously avoided acknowledging; it weighed heavily upon Subaru’s heart.
“Why… did Subaru keep caring for me, even after all this… why was that?”
With a hand resting on Subaru’s cheek, Emilia continued her call that would never reach him.
As she displayed such tragic grace, it dawned on Subaru even more slowly.
In this world, Subaru had failed to respond to Emilia’s queries.
He had never conveyed the truth behind his dedication to saving her when she asked in the Royal Capital, “Why do you help me?”
Hence, Emilia had no understanding of Subaru’s reasons for his selflessness.
—This stark divide in understanding was ultimately a result of indescribable sins committed by Subaru.
“The Witch Cult that has tormented the world for so long has had its vanguard, Sloth, repelled. This is a significant accomplishment for the world. —However”
Gazing down at Subaru’s lifeless body, Julius lightly tapped the hilt of his sheathed sword with his fingertips. The rhythm steadily quickened, becoming a persistent beat.
“Not every sacrifice made in that regard is something I can accept. —I wanted to talk with you more, Natsuki Subaru.”
Whispering painfully, Julius turned away from Subaru’s lifeless face.
He looked to the sky, sadness glistening in his eyes as he murmured quietly,
“I wanted to call you a friend.”
Julius’s soft voice marked the end of the world in that meadow.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Once again, darkness fell, and Subaru awoke with a jolt, his body shaking.
“——Duh, what! …Ah, ah, huh!?”
As he writhed, he found himself on a hard, cold floor.
Overwhelmed by the musty smell of moss, Subaru rolled about, trying to escape the chaotic storm within himself by immersing his senses in this meaningless act.
Don’t think about what’s happening.
Roll, roll, bruising his inner ear, gasping through the pain while trying to diminish the ratio of his consciousness to thought, sinking into a state of blissful ignorance, even just a little bit.
“——Ugh!”
However, when he bounced off the wall and the purpose faltered, that effort crumbled.
The pain from his back hit home, and the feeling of blood oozed from his forehead. Pressed against the floor, he gasped for air while tears began to flow from his eyes.
—Pathetic. Ridiculous. Hopeless.
How many times, how much longer, must Natsuki Subaru endure this weakness?
No matter what disasters strike or what suffering he is dealt, how can he ever obtain an unyielding, unbreakable steel heart?
With such frailty, and such vulnerability, Subaru… has always—
“Is this the price for turning a blind eye and looking away…?”
It wasn’t that he had never considered such things.
In the peripheral edge of his consciousness, Subaru had entertained that possibility more than once.
Yet still, that thought never arose beyond the fringes of his awareness, as he unconsciously rejected the examination and consideration of that fact.
If Subaru, who ‘returns by death’, were to ponder the existence of a world post-death—but if he dared entertain that notion, the way he fought would disintegrate beneath him.
Everything he thought to save would leave Natsuki Subaru behind.
No, it was Natsuki Subaru who had been leaving everything behind. By finicking his way to ‘death’ in such a disgraceful, selfish manner, Subaru had abandoned the world, escaping into a new one.
If the world Natsuki Subaru had carelessly left behind still existed, the vision displayed before him was it.
A hell from which Subaru would find liberation through his death, an even further glimpse beyond that.
“—No way…”
His consciousness began to dim again, uninvited.
It was not just drowsiness; it was an involuntary separation from reality as consciousness sharply whitened.
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
A voice, once again, whispered in his ear—its source was unclear.
Pursuing that voice in his clouded awareness—he realized.
—That it was undeniably his own voice.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Before the shattered skull of a corpse knelt a girl.
The human body, unable to withstand the shock of a fall from a height, splintered, its black hair spilled onto the ground while a red death flower blossomed.
‘――――’
Once more, Subaru felt the sensation of his consciousness flipping.
It was expected that such phenomena would occur immediately following that forced awakening.
The one thing that couldn’t be predicted was the scene that would unfold before his newly awakened consciousness—.
“Until the very end, spewing such nonsensical things… now there’s nothing left…”
Standing beside the sprawled Subaru was a pink-haired girl—Ram—who spat her words out.
Normally well-groomed, she was now disheveled, her uniform marked with ragged tears. Her face bore a meticulously crafted lack of expression masking a complex mixture of frustration and anger.
Anguish at Subaru’s death—no, it was more a furious anger at the outcome.
Ram roughly scratched her head and then whirled around.
“Was this all part of your plan, Beatrice? Blocking Ram’s path like this…?”
“――――”
Ram’s words were cut off mid-sentence as her expression froze, halting her accusations.
Her soft pink eyes were locked onto Beatrice, who was kneeling before Subaru’s corpse. Ignoring the dress now dirty from sitting on the ground, Ram’s eyes shimmered with dismay at Beatrice’s demeanor.
“Beatrice…?”
“――Why?”
The quietly spoken words fell like a whisper.
Ignoring Ram’s call, Beatrice focused entirely on Subaru’s lifeless form.
Subaru could clearly see tears cascading down from the corner of her blue eyes, tracing a path.
—Beatrice was crying.
In the presence of Subaru’s ‘death’.
That fact stabbed deep into Subaru’s heart like a blade of guilt.
The feeling of his heart being pierced into sharp pain ignited a warmth within his nonexistent eyes, the urge to rush to this small, delicate girl and utter some comforting words surged.
Yet he had no legs to run, nor arms left, and no words to speak.
“You… know that you’re not that person… still…”
Expressionless, Beatrice muttered in a daze, continuing to shed tears.
Unable to address Beatrice any further, Ram sighed and cast disdainful eyes toward Subaru’s lifeless body, which lay twisted in impossible angles.
“What a dear you were—truly, an impossible tale.”
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
The atmosphere grew cold enough to freeze the very air, enveloping the world in a white, foggy chill.
The freezing forest shattered with each gust of wind, turned to dust in the landscape from which mana had been forcibly drained.
Trees, streets, living beings, the entire world—whites of crystal flew through the wind, shattered to dust as the pale end drew closer and closer.
‘――――’
Now, what lay before Subaru’s eyes was the end of the world.
The world was about to meet its cold, merciful end, just as consciousness fades to white.
But then,
“—So it is you after all.”
A low, resonating voice split the atmosphere with certainty.
Following that, a tremor ran through the earth, and everything changed in the resultant shock. Trees were swept away, collapsing like frost in a chain reaction, resulting in the entire forest being flattened.
The frozen expanse, now leveled, had its destruction wrought by an immense four-legged beast, a cat-like creature with gray fur stretching before them.
The beast abruptly snapped its oversized fangs in half, letting out a plume of white breath from the gaps in its sword-like teeth, its glittering golden eyes fixed forward in a horizontal gaze.
“It’s frustrating… even knowing this would happen, I can’t change anything.”
“—I have a general understanding of what’s occurred. That’s why I find it regrettable.”
Not a mere excuse, but an acceptance of the present reality—this intellectual beast’s voice was met with a crystalline, pure tone.
In a world that was dying, however, without a trace of vitality lacking, a tall figure appeared, swaying red hair in the white wind—a young man with blue eyes.
“Is it true that both Emilia and Subaru are nowhere to be found?”
“Emilia is asleep, forever. In a world without her, there is no value in existing. I, who could not protect that child, am guilty along with that man—”
“And you plan to destroy the world based on that reason?”
“I knew I would be stopped. Yet, that is my oath.”
The glint of steel, drawn from its sheath, pointed toward the nose of the beast that had materialized—Pack, the spirit. The ‘Sword Saint,’ Reinhardt, quietly shook his head.
Deep sadness and compassion sparkled in Reinhardt’s blue gaze.
“I understand your frustration. I share in that feeling. However, that doesn’t justify wantonly unleashing your distress upon the world. One cannot allow your actions to disrupt the world, nor can the consequences of your promises be ignored. —That, I can never permit.”
“Because it is not right?”
“Precisely, it is wrong. —I am a standard of righteousness. I wield the sword meant to correct wrongdoing. Thus, I must strike you down here. Great Spirit.”
Despite the overwhelming weight difference, it was clear where the balance of power tilted.
Even Pack, with his true form revealed, couldn’t even put on a façade of calm against Reinhardt. The sword’s tip, gleaming silver, had the power to cleave through any spirit, and the sheer erupting sword energy heralded defeat for them all.
“—Kuh.”
It was the sound that caused Reinhardt to furrow his brow.
Even the conscious Subaru felt a flicker of confusion amidst his scarce emotions.
What it was that reached him in short, broken intervals was a mystery.
Surely, he didn’t think it would sound as he had heard.
“Kukuku… haha, ahaha!”
“—What is so funny?”
Shaking, Pack let out a warped laugh even as he teetered on the brink of death.
With life and death in the balance, despite having his actions hampered, Pack cackled. Reinhardt questioned this, not grasping its significance.
But Pack’s response only seemed to heighten the absurdity.
“What is funny? It certainly is! Reinhardt, you… no, you don’t understand anything.”
“…………”
“I just remembered. How things ought to be. It’s a belated realization. That you don’t understand that, is what makes it all so laughable.”
This was a distinctly un-Packy comment, especially in tone and manner.
To Subaru, who held fond memories of interacting with the cat-like spirit, this was an entirely unfamiliar sight—an entity before him filled with malice.
Unlike when he felt hatred towards his foes, such as when Emilia was slain or against Subaru and Petelgeuse. He had still, at that time, been the Pack he knew.
However, now, the creature mocking Reinhardt had transformed into a completely different existence from the Pack they once knew.
“I will prevent further damage at all costs. If you plan to take revenge, take it out on me.”
“I will not hold a grudge, Reinhardt. You are a hero. A hero has roles and deeds only they can undertake. I will neither resent you nor blame you for fulfilling that duty.”
“――――”
“You are a hero, Reinhardt. —You can only be that.”
At long last, the clarity of malice filled his voice with stunning precision.
Hearing those words, Reinhardt lifted the sword he had prepared overhead, imbuing it with sword energy for a single stroke—following the glimmer of the blade, an unimaginable heat surged.
It cut through the air, piercing the atmosphere, shattering the ground, swirling mana, cleaving through everything in the straight line of the blade—light focused, and before Subaru’s consciousness, the world warped.
‘――――’
The world, which had been covered in white, cold air, began to regenerate after the onslaught of the slashing strike.
The distortion of the world restored itself, coiling mana formed a ring that returned to the world, flowers blossomed in the shattered earth, warm air filled the pierced atmosphere as sunlight flowed down from the cultivated sky.
The end of the world and its regeneration occurred simultaneously through the Sword Saints cut.
And the massive beast, cleaved by that strike, vanished without leaving a single trace behind.
The immense form that had been there moments ago disappeared, and even the remnants of destruction it had caused were nowhere to be found.
‘――――’
With a high-pitched sound, Reinhardt unsheathed his knight sword.
The breeze quivered his red bangs, and narrowing his eyes against the sunlight, Reinhardt gazed up at the sky, letting out a barely audible sigh.
“Felt will surely be saddened.”
He murmured this while closing his eyes.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
‘Behold the unpermissible present…’
“`