Volume 4 Chapter 53: “Overlapping Questions”
The location shifted from the graveyard to Ryuzu’s house, where the results of the “Trial” are to be discussed.
The content had little deviation from previous loops. Emilia failed to clear the “Trial,” and yet she asserted that she had no intention of giving up.
Regarding the details of the “Trial,” they refrained from discussing it. When Ram sensed this and attempted to mediate, they decided to disperse the gathering citing Emilia’s health as the reason.
As each person reflected on the events of the evening and departed the room, only Emilia, Subaru, and Ram remained.
“I’d like to help Emilia-sama get ready for bed now, but does Balus really need to be told that? He seems oblivious.”
“Thanks for that wonderfully indirect yet direct declaration. I do want to prioritize your tasks for Emilia’s sake… but I’d like a bit of time. Just a little while to be alone with Emilia, if that’s okay?”
“How lewd.”
“You’re the one whose mind went to that right away!”
When Subaru raised his voice in annoyance at Ram, the pink-haired maid simply covered her ears and acted innocent. Then, Ram cast a fleeting glance at Emilia, who was sitting on the bed.
“What would you like to do, Emilia-sama? If you don’t even want to talk to Balus, I can step back.”
“What are you saying? There’s no way the kind and affectionate Emilia-chan would reject me, right? Right?”
“I’m really tired tonight, so I might want to pass on the usual casual chatter…”
“You don’t hear that term much these days… Besides, I’m not in the mood for that now. I’m interested in discussing the graveyard instead.”
Even with the usual banter exchanged, Emilia’s expression remained solemn. Nonetheless, when Subaru hinted at the “Trial,” Emilia closed her eyes for a moment. Then, with her deep violet gaze fixed on Ram, she said, “I’m sorry,” urging Ram to leave the room.
Ram complied in silence, bowing as she moved toward the door. Passing by Subaru, she whispered:
“Don’t allow her to discuss anything that might burden her too much.”
With the door creaking shut behind her, only Subaru and Emilia were left in the bedroom.
Emilia looked earnestly at Subaru, who shrugged lightly:
“I couldn’t check too easily inside the graveyard, but are you sure you’re not feeling any abnormalities? Given how strange it was there, I can’t help but worry.”
“That’s okay. Yeah, thank you. I don’t think there was any unusual interference with my mind or body. Besides, if you’re going to worry about something, shouldn’t it be about yourself rather than me?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m glad you came in there to check on me since I didn’t come back, but something must have happened to you inside too. Ram mentioned it was about thirty minutes from when you entered until you came back with me.”
Emilia’s gaze held a reproachful glare that made Subaru stick his tongue out inwardly. He had covered things up with impulsive acts, but it seemed Ram’s careless remark had revealed an inconsistency. Emilia was now starting to tense up, imagining what could have happened during that time.
It was clear that her mind was swimming with thoughts about the “Trial.”
The first “Trial” forced one to confront the past. Emilia had previously been distressed at the thought of others learning about its content.
Although she maintained her composure this time, if she reached the same conclusion as before, it wouldn’t be hard to envision her current calm state shattering. So,
“Subaru, could it be… did you also… face a ‘Trial’ in there…?”
“No way! If they were throwing ‘Trials’ around randomly, things would be too chaotic. The time I spent inside was because it took a while to wake you up.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. You were having such a rough time sleeping, it felt like you had been tied up in the dream world. I thought about just taking you out, but something felt off.”
Using exaggerated actions, Subaru colored the truth with fiction.
Emilia didn’t vocalize any disbelief, of course. There was no way for her to confirm what he claimed. If Subaru said it was true, any suspicion formed would lack evidence.
“Right… I’m sorry for doubting you in a strange way.”
“It’s okay. If anything, I might have been able to cooperate with you to clear the ‘Trial’ as long as I had your support with that, Emilia-chan.”
“…I’m not so sure. It’s not guaranteed that you and I would see the same things…”
Although her tone lacked confidence, Emilia didn’t press Subaru further on his words.
To her, the idea of having to relive her past and being unable to overcome it was something she didn’t want anyone to know. So if Subaru maintained that he was ignorant of the “Trial,” she would find herself wanting to believe too.
At that moment, Subaru had once again guided the conversation to her favor.
“More importantly, what did you want to talk about? That wasn’t really the main subject, was it?”
“You’re right, that wasn’t. I wanted to ask you something.”
“Something you want to ask?”
Emilia tilted her head.
Watching the cascade of silver hair tumble down her shoulders, Subaru continued:
“Say, I haven’t seen Pack’s face around for a while… Any updates on him?”
“Uh, yeah… Right. Pack still hasn’t responded. I’ve been calling out to him, but he seems to be sleeping inside the crystal.”
Hearing the name sprung from her lips, Emilia looked down as she replied. Her white fingers fished around in her clothing to grip the green, glowing crystal. The crystal served as Pack’s vessel, but it appeared to have lost its luster.
“Do you not know why that is?”
“Sometimes there are times like this when he can’t hear me, but normally he’d return in two or three days. This time, it’s been almost a week… and I’m starting to feel a bit anxious.”
Subaru thought of the small gray spirit cat that had boasted to protect Emilia.
Imagining that little figure, his mind drifted to the impending disaster occurring in the “Sanctuary” and Emilia’s situation, entangled within.
When the Great Rabbit, a beast, attacked the “Sanctuary,” the residents were likely devoured without exception—was the conclusion he had drawn during the Great Rabbit’s previous appearance.
Among those victims would surely be Garfiel, Ram, and Roswaal, and of course, Emilia.
To think that they would experience the agony of becoming nothing more than mere morsels, chewed and swallowed—thinking of that made Subaru’s insides boil with unrestrained rage and sorrow.
Setting his furious thoughts aside, he found himself thinking about how ineffective Pack was, failing to show when Emilia was in danger.
That was the same time Emilia’s body had been possessed by a Witch.
Overflowing with ominous shadows threatening to engulf the world, Emilia had been under the Witch’s influence, yet the Great Spirit had not offered any assistance.
Empty promises, mere words—it seemed to culminate here.
“So far, the only times that guy has really ‘performed’ have been during the fight with Elsa and the Sapporo Snow Festival with me. You can’t count on him… I should keep that in mind.”
With his chin resting on his hand, Subaru twisted his thoughts into mental gears.
The calamities befalling the “Sanctuary” were synonymous with grave danger closing in on Emilia. So, he wanted to boost their combat power for dealing with something that Garfiel and Roswaal couldn’t handle by themselves, but Pack seemed unlikely to be a part of that.
“Do you have any idea how to bring Pack back? It would be ideal if he were around, as we could discuss a bunch of things easier.”
“—I might or might not have a clue.”
Emilia’s vague response matched his expectations as well. However, the brief pause before she responded piqued his curiosity, but before he could pry more,
“Why do you want to ask Pack something?”
“Huh? Oh, well, since that place is the Witch’s graveyard and all, it’s been around for four hundred years, right? If we could talk to someone who knows about that time, then it might give us a breakthrough.”
Once Subaru voiced his prepared reply, Emilia nodded in understanding. She then took his suggestion seriously and pondered.
“That’s true. Pack might know something… Okay, I’ll call out to him more than usual.”
“Alright then. For now, I’ll leave it to you, Emilia-chan.”
Emilia was getting motivated about the “Trial.” She didn’t think Subaru had experienced it at all. There shouldn’t be any motive for her to feel dispirited.
Pack remained dormant within the crystal, and it seemed unlikely he would play any role in this loop. Given how he wasn’t contributing to their situation, the negative impression from their last exchange only made things worse.
“Now, it’s not good to linger, and I’d rather not give Ram more reasons to tease me, so I’ll take my leave. Unless you want me to stay and cuddle…”
“I don’t need a cuddle.”
“Hearing that so bluntly leaves me puzzled.”
With a bemused expression on her face, Subaru chuckled and turned toward the door.
For tonight, those were the words he needed to exchange with Emilia. There was little he could directly approach regarding her personal issues.
What Subaru could do was create an environment in which Emilia could focus on the “Trial” while resolving the negative circumstances surrounding her.
Emilia would challenge the graveyard, and Subaru would confront the “Sanctuary.”
Moreover, Subaru must ensure Emilia doesn’t sense the struggles he faced. If she realized it, it would only add to her emotional burden.
“Well then, goodnight, Emilia-chan. If you have a scary dream, feel free to come running to me anytime.”
“If I ended up at your place, it might surprise the villagers… right, Subaru?”
“Huh?”
Just as he was about to separate from her, Emilia called out his name.
Turning back as he put his hand on the door, Subaru noticed that Emilia’s lips trembled, her eyes filled with hesitation.
“Uh, never mind. Goodnight. Take care.”
“That last part, even if it’s a joke, it’s not really one, you know. Goodnight.”
Waving as he captured the image of Emilia’s smile in his memory, Subaru exited the bedroom. He closed the door and looked ahead, finding Ram sitting with a cup of steaming tea in the parlor.
Despite the head of the household, Ryuzu, making an effort to vacate, the maid maintained her usual arrogant demeanor. Subaru couldn’t help but smile wryly.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting so long… but seeing how relaxed you are, I don’t feel like saying it anymore.”
“I’d like you to appreciate my restraint, especially considering I haven’t even touched the snacks. — Emilia-sama wasn’t offended, right?”
“What a foolish question to ask me, someone who prioritizes Emilia above all else. You shouldn’t make her worry with unnecessary burdens, alright? …That part, I’ll trust you on.”
Ram’s behavior toward Subaru didn’t reflect her attitude towards Emilia.
It could be regarded as malicious that she was only observing him, but her straightforwardness gave him a sense of trust.
Ram let out a scoffing laugh at Subaru’s quiet words, emptied her cup, and then stood up. As she passed by him, making her way to the bedroom,
“By the way, I have a question for you too.”
“How lewd.”
“Do you really see me as such a beast without discretion?”
As she wrapped her arms around herself and distanced herself from Subaru, he felt a pang of hurt. Surely she wasn’t serious, but it was still upsetting to receive such a response from a young lady.
“Not to say this in a bad way, but I can hardly remember ever looking at you in that way.”
“That ‘hardly’ is imbued with the essence of beastly instincts, hence raises distrust. Besides, since coming to the ‘Sanctuary,’ I’ve been sensing strange things about Balus’s gaze.”
“What are you talking about? Isn’t that an inconsiderate accusation with no basis? You’re being overly self-conscious.”
“If that’s the case, then it’s subconscious. There are times when your gaze drifts off when you’re looking at me. I don’t know who you’re seeing through me.”
— That was genuinely a blow from a territory Subaru hadn’t consciously considered.
As he felt like he was punched, he realized that his thoughts became paralyzed. His expression stiffened, and his eyes darted around. Regretting his reaction, he quickly tried to recover by shrugging.
“W-What are you saying? I don’t have a clue.”
“You only noticed after being told? That’s quite abnormal. Since your gaze isn’t unpleasant, I kept quiet until now.”
Ram sighed slightly, observing Subaru’s disquiet.
Her lack of mocking attitude typically directed toward him seemed to sting even more under these circumstances.
Looking entirely alike yet being fundamentally different. Being treated kindly by Ram made him associate her too closely with the sleeping Emilia.
Ram’s insight was accurate, and her perception was acute. Subaru saw the image of the girl who was the spitting image of her. It was hard to dismiss.
That truth was now something Ram made clear to him.
“So, did you want to ask me something?”
“Huh?”
“I’m not purposely trying to crush Balus. Rather, crushing Balus is secondary. My priority right now is to assist Emilia-sama and return to Roswaal-sama. Ignoring this is alright, you know?”
“That would be a predicament… So, uh, there’s something I want to ask: what do you know about Garfiel?”
Leaning into Ram’s curious kindness, Subaru squeezed out the questions that had been on his mind.
Upon hearing his query, Ram raised an eyebrow, visibly surprised, and then broke her neutral expression.
“Did something happen with Garf?”
“Nothing right now, but that might not be the case in the future. For now, he’s someone I often interact with in this ‘Sanctuary,’ and I thought since you’ve known him for a while, it’d be good to ask.”
“I see. …Well, I’ll accept that as a reason for now.”
Ram seemed to see through Subaru’s inner feelings and placed a gentle hand on her chin.
“So, what exactly do you want to know about Garf?”
“I’m already aware he’s incredibly strong, so that’s fine. But I’d like to know… Under what conditions do you think Garfiel would leave ‘Sanctuary’?”
“…That’s quite an odd question.”
“I thought it was pointless to beat around the bush. At this point, I’m prepared for you to label me as odd for asking.”
Unlike Emilia, who wanted to hide her true intentions, Ram seemed comfortable with an extent of Subaru’s covert activities. Rather, considering the need for events leading to the refugee release from Araham Village and steps to break out of the “Sanctuary,” it was better for her to know that Subaru was actively making plans.
“I don’t know what you’re scheming nor do I care much, but getting Garf out of the ‘Sanctuary’ could be possible… if Ram asks nicely.”
“That’s love-stricken weakness. I can relate to that as well.”
Surely, Ram would be more capable of moving Garfiel’s heart than Subaru could. Nevertheless, recalling how fiercely Garfiel had pursued Subaru, transformed into a massive tiger, made him think.
Back then, even Ram, who was supposed to be Garfiel’s love interest, had also faced Garfiel’s threats, all while he relentlessly chased after Subaru. In a sense, Garfiel considering the protection of something within the “Sanctuary” could weigh higher on his priority list than Ram herself.
“But you know, Ram, that probably means…”
“Yeah, likely a no-go.”
Ram quickly affirmed Subaru’s conjecture without a hint of reservation.
Before him, Subaru was left speechless as Ram brushed her pink hair aside and continued:
“While it’s true Garf is enchanted by you, he has clear priorities within himself. Just as Roswaal is for you.”
“Does Garfiel also have someone else that ranks higher…? Do you know?”
“I do know. But I won’t share.”
Turning her gaze away defiantly, Ram didn’t respond to Subaru’s persistent interrogation. Subaru narrowed his eyes, urging her for more answers, but Ram sighed, maintaining her air of aloofness, stating:
“Trying to gauge someone else’s heart unilaterally is quite presumptuous. Garfiel’s heart belongs to Garfiel. If you want to know, ask him directly.”
“Who do you think is being presumptuous here? Do you know about the book in Roswaal’s possession?”
“…Where did you hear that?”
The words exchanged became barrages against one another.
Though Ram’s rationalizations aimed to deflect, the rebellious feelings within Subaru compelled him to retort back. Ram’s reaction, however, was fierce as she narrowed her eyes at Subaru with piercing glances.
“Depending on the context, you might find yourself in pain.”
“If you do that, it would undoubtedly go against Roswaal’s intentions, wouldn’t it? Just leave it, Ram. There’s no way you would do that.”
At the very least, within the “Sanctuary,” Subaru had never been harmed by Ram. To the contrary, she had helped him before, explicitly stating her own volition rather than Roswaal’s directives.
This prompted his provocation, presuming Ram would refrain from any physical retaliation. Although she appeared poignantly serious, Ram’s expression didn’t waver, as if she was about to assert herself against him.
“It seems your attitude has taken a turn for the worse, Balus.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t know what you saw in the graveyard, but it must have been something unpleasant. I don’t want to continue this conversation with you in your current state.”
“…What I saw in the graveyard, for me, is a kind of hope. Stop labeling it as something unpleasant.”
He recalled the vision of the white-haired witch—Echidna—and felt an urge to argue against what Ram implied.
While the encounter with Echidna had lead to calamity last time, the benefits he gained were significant enough to rival the losses. Just having someone to discuss his “Return by Death” was a privilege beyond compare.
“—”
For a moment, Subaru’s pitch-black eyes locked with Ram’s pale pink ones.
Forcing himself to look deeper into those gently wavering eyes, he sought to uncover what concealed within, yet the moment his thoughts began to take form, Ram’s gaze shifted away, dissipating the image like mist.
“Now, go. I can’t let Emilia-sama wait any longer.”
“…Sorry for keeping you. I know full well you’re right on this.”
Finally, he spoke a reluctant apology, but Ram simply turned her back as she walked toward the bedroom.
Watching the hem of her servant’s attire vanish behind the door, Subaru sighed deeply before departing Ryuzu’s house.
Once outside, the wind sweeping through the “Sanctuary” caressed Subaru’s bangs, tickling his forehead. Bathing in the night air and inhaling the scent of grass, Subaru walked through the now-late “Sanctuary” toward the Great Cathedral where he would rest.
He stepped onto the green grass, using the moonlight to guide his path while pondering how best to utilize the time offered by the current loop.
With the assurance of no effective limits on the number of “Returns by Death,” Subaru could try what he hadn’t been able to do—namely, expend a discard round for the sake of gathering information.
If he could simply decide to throw away his life, then no approach is more efficient for taking advantage of his trait of “Return by Death.”
“If each time I orchestrate a different approach, plans for each obstacle will naturally come to mind…”
Then, he just needed to combine those strategies to implement everything in one go.
To clear all the hindrances standing in the way and secure a complete victory for everyone.
Even who he dreamed would be included in that perfect victory was a point of frustration for Subaru.
“——-”
Suddenly, Subaru’s pace halted.
His sense of smell, focused on catching scents of the wind, alerted him to something other than the grass he was treading.
Raising his head, Subaru saw a young man standing confidently in the moonlit path ahead.
With arms crossed, his spiky blonde hair ruffled by the wind, Garfiel was gnashing his teeth.
“You’ve got decent timing, huh.”
“What, you don’t seem surprised at all…? Well, it’s easier to keep the conversation flowing when you’re not flailing about.”
Looking at Garfiel, who had just been discussed with Ram moments ago, Subaru scratched his cheek while expressing mild admiration.
Garfiel nodded in acknowledgment, signaling something to Subaru.
Striding forth, he veered off the path, making his way toward the woods.
Watching Garfiel’s back grow faint as he leaped over the knee-high grass and entered the forest, Subaru stretched before heading toward the Great Cathedral—
“That’s obviously a cue to follow me, you idiot!” Garfiel shouted, catching up to Subaru as he attempted to leave.
Subaru raised both hands and shrugged, replying, “I was just making a cheeky joke, you know? I didn’t miss anything, so you can relax.”
“That’s more irritating! Just hurry up and come along, or I’ll devour you.”
“Isn’t this one of those moments where you reassure someone that you’re not going to eat them?”
Garfiel started striding away roughly, ignoring Subaru’s retort. Although an ominous sense brewed within him not to deny certain aspects, he quickly followed Garfiel’s lead into a light jog.
Leaving the path behind, they entered the woods, and after a short walk, Garfiel sniffed the air.
A small clearing formed amidst the trees, just enough space for four or five people to sit comfortably. Garfiel turned around, eyeing Subaru.
“Now then… what did you see in the graveyard?”
“…You’re asking that too?”
Following Emilia and Ram, Garfiel became the third to pose that question.
Unlike the former two, answering the question for Garfiel came with complications; as he felt a touch exasperated by the recurrence.
Disregarding Subaru’s feelings, Garfiel spat indignantly, “What, you too?” as he glared intensely, narrowing his golden eyes.
“I don’t care who you spoke with or what you discussed, but I’m not going to let this slide. They say, ‘Even a parent must be questioned!'”
“Sorry, I was merely getting caught up trying to wake Emilia after I left. Anything I saw inside is just speculation.”
“Sounds both emptily foamy and deliberately false. Do you really think you can bamboozle me with that overwhelming witch aura you are giving off?”
“——-”
As Garfiel tightened his jaw in irritation, Subaru felt a sense of discomfort.
Garfiel’s animosity toward him originated from the lingering scent of the Witch.
That had been how things were before, and his current statement hinted at the same. The oddity now was the timing of when he made such claims.
Right after he left the graveyard, Subaru expected Garfiel to attack him outright, tension filling his body.
Considering he had just experienced “Return by Death” moments prior, and especially with that being a fatal situation, this was the time when the lingering scent of the Witch would be strongest.
Yet contrary to Subaru’s expectations, Garfiel did not launch an immediate attack. On the contrary, he seemed genuinely relieved that both Subaru and Emilia had returned unharmed.
That made Subaru puzzled, holding onto questions about why Garfiel’s demeanor had shifted during their brief separation.
Could it be that he merely became desensitized to the foul scent and its intensity waned enough for him to notice?
Subaru lifted an arm to smell it, but only the accumulated fatigue of the day lingered. He opted to wash up later, resolving to clean himself with water and a towel as he pressed on Garfiel.
“That lingering witch aroma you mentioned—people have pointed that out about me quite often.”
“…Oh, really? Those who noticed must have felt awfully casual about it till now. Doesn’t it make your nose turn?”
“Setting body odor aside, they made their judgments based on my actions. If you could do the same, that would help. After all, just after leaving the graveyard, you would have passed right by me.”
“——-”
“I don’t intend any harm to either Emilia or you, nor the ‘Sanctuary.’ Trust in that, alright? It would help if you kept your distance and observed.”
While he understood these were convenient words, the fact that Garfiel had not swung a fist yet indicated some restraint on the Beastman’s part. There was an approach by dialogue where things might smooth out.
In fact, there was a flicker of hesitation in Garfiel’s gaze as he appraised Subaru. He was not the type to dismiss someone solely for that witch’s lingering essence. It would take more than the scent to spark a reaction from him.
This time, however, he had yet to trigger whatever condition would move him to action. And Subaru needed to discern what that trigger might be.
“…You didn’t answer the first question.”
“Huh?”
“What did you see inside the graveyard? Whether I let you off the hook or not depends on your answer.”
Two paths stood before Subaru: he could either answer honestly or fall into the same trap that Emilia and Ram had. The crucial determination of which answer would lead to the right choice was something to be gauged.
“Then, let me ask you one thing first.”
“Watch your position. I’m above you; you are below. Do you want me to rip you apart?”
“Don’t be so angry. Relax, just give me an easy answer.”
Grinning while revealing his teeth, Garfiel’s expression did not seem to soften as Subaru took a breath.
Holding onto his query at the back of his throat, he met Garfiel’s glares as he thought—
—This was a critical moment.
Encouraging himself, Subaru boldly posed his question:
“I saw a child who looks just like Ryuzu. Any idea who that might be?”