Volume 4 Chapter 49: “Love Love Love Love Love Love Love You”
—
As he listened to the dry footsteps echoing in his eardrums, Natsuki Subaru felt a strange discomfort crawling on his skin.
The cool breeze flowing into the graveyard carried an unpleasant stickiness with it. Each step felt as if his feet were glued to the ground, draining his energy with every stride.
The sharp sensation against his exposed skin struck him as if the very air had sprouted barbs, rendering him hesitant to move forward.
—
Subaru already knew this sensation all too well.
Driven by a nagging sense of foreboding, Subaru approached the entrance of the graveyard, consciously shaking off the discomfort that clung to him.
He dashed through the dimly lit corridor, where moonlight barely seeped through, dashing past the overgrown vines at the entrance, savoring the illusion of breaking through a membrane of air as he stepped outside the graveyard.
And then he saw it.
“…No way, man!”
Coming to an abrupt halt, Subaru’s feet gouged into the earth beneath him.
He nearly stumbled as he straightened himself, and in his eyes flickered a sort of profound realization.
Just like that, the scene before him warped any semblance of common sense.
“Shadow…”
He uttered a single word that encapsulated everything.
A shadow—indeed, that’s all he could call the sight before him.
At the entrance of the graveyard, the view of the Sanctuary that should have been visible was nowhere to be found. While it was true that the graveyard was situated far from the cluster of residences, there was no way that not a single structure would be visible from this position.
Moreover, despite the round moon floating above and its pale glow bathing the earth, the world before him was far too dark. It felt as if he had fallen into the depths of darkness.
“――――”
Breath caught in his throat, Subaru steeled himself to step into the darkened Sanctuary from the graveyard’s entrance. His feet crossed the stony floor and reached the soil and grass ground—he thought they had arrived.
The feeling of treading on grass was there, but the view beneath his feet was swallowed by dense darkness, rendering it indistinguishable. The sticky sensation on his skin lingered unchanged.
“Emilia—!”
Unable to bear the unreliability of the world that should have existed, Subaru instinctively called out the name that popped into his mind. Once he uttered the name of the girl whose memory was so vivid, images of familiar faces and names began flooding his thoughts.
“Ram! Ryuzu-san! And Otto! You guys are here, right? Come on out!”
If this was right after facing the Trial, Ram and the others should have been waiting for Emilia’s results outside the graveyard. The usual flow had him diving in while they tried to stop him, resulting in him dragging them into the Trial.
When he eventually came out with Emilia, she was always greeted by their familiar faces. He expected no different this time.
“They’re not here… Not just that, what the heck is with this oppressive atmosphere? This isn’t even close to the darkness of a rural rice field road.”
On a moonless night along a rice field path, the darkness could be absolute.
Yet the current state of the Sanctuary was something else entirely. The moon shone above, and that light reached at least as far as Subaru.
Despite that, the light scattered before it reached the ground, creating a vague, unstable night. It was as if he alone were under a spotlight.
In the darkness, only his own figure was visible. Whenever he turned back, even the entrance of the graveyard he had just exited was shrouded in darkness.
The feeling flooded back of wandering through the fog created by the White Whale.
Losing sight of reliable allies, thrown out of the dragon carriage, he walked on without knowing when the White Whale’s jaw would come barreling down from behind, while direction and meaning in life blurred.
In the end, he simply trudged forward through the mist until he was rescued by Otto’s beloved dragon, Furufu.
So this time, too, if he kept moving forward blindly, would he find salvation?
“Am I an idiot…? No, I am an idiot. Why am I being so passive, with this loser mentality? Not knowing what happened means I can’t know what will happen either. I can’t even worry about myself when I don’t know what’s happened to everyone else. What the heck?”
Didn’t he just solidify his resolution during the tea party with Echidna?
No matter what circumstance arose, no matter how much suffering it inflicted upon him, if the price he had to pay was merely his life, then it was decidedly a bargain.
Compared to a future where someone important got hurt and the consequences became irrevocable, being in a position where he might get to restart just by sacrificing his life was incredibly fortunate.
Hence, what Subaru needed wasn’t the disgrace of dying in a fit of fear and confusion, unable to grasp the situation before him.
It was to boldly face this incomprehensible situation, and whether he reached the right answer or not, to grasp footings that would allow him to avenge himself next time, meeting a death that had meaning.
“Anyway, what I need to confirm right now is…”
To check where Emilia, Ram, and everyone else had disappeared to.
When he found no trace of Emilia in the graveyard, he briefly thought that perhaps she had overcome the Trial and woken up on her own. But that thought was quickly dispelled. If Emilia had succeeded on her own and awakened safely, there would be no reason for her not to call out to Subaru.
Subaru himself knew from experience that touching or calling someone during the Trial would interrupt it.
Strictly speaking, at that point, Subaru’s consciousness should be engaged not with the Trial, but with his tea party with Echidna, rendering that premise a possibility but still questionable.
“Even so, it’s far too uncharacteristic of Emilia to leave me behind and head out.”
She would have surely made some effort to pull him along or at least laid him against a wall. It was difficult to picture her simply leaving without doing anything.
And while it pains him to admit it, the conclusion he reached was that he didn’t think Emilia could clear the first Trial on her first try.
Having witnessed her continue to struggle through the same Trial since day one, he was skeptical from the very beginning of the idea that she had cleared the Trial and exited the graveyard on her own.
Thus, in Subaru’s view, the high likelihood was that Emilia disappearing from the graveyard was not of her own volition. She must have been taken by someone, or perhaps—
“If she came back from the Trial dazed and disoriented, it’d be entirely feasible that she left the graveyard without even realizing it…”
But that still didn’t explain the abnormal state of the world around him shrouded in darkness.
He could accept that Emilia had vanished from the graveyard under those circumstances, but the reasoning and cause behind this landscape provided no clarity for what was to come.
At the very least, in Subaru’s experience, the Sanctuary had never faced such abnormal conditions during any of the Trials.
The absence of those waiting for him stirred a tumult in Subaru’s heart with the threat of the white, ferocious rabbit. Yet he shook his head and dismissed his conclusion as being too hasty.
The Great Rabbit’s attack was supposed to occur on the night of day six that Subaru spent in the Sanctuary—meaning five days from now. Regardless of how early it was to arrive, he wanted to believe it wouldn’t jump ahead to the first night of the Trial.
—Let’s deliberately avert our gaze from the mystery of Elsa and the shifting timeline of the mansion attack.
That too, remained a mystery without an answer for Subaru. However, if the timing of the Great Rabbit’s attack began to deviate like Elsa’s, it would imply a situation far beyond anyone’s control.
The only option left for Subaru would be to believe that terrible environments wouldn’t be things he couldn’t avoid, even if he relied on Return by Death.
“What I can do now is… call out while searching for Emilia and confirm the safety of the people in Araham Village by heading toward the Cathedral, right?”
Focusing his gaze ahead, Subaru grappled with the low feasibility of what he just stated. While he had a rough map of the Sanctuary in his head, it wasn’t refined enough to circle around blindfolded.
And right now, what he needed to navigate this place was indeed that level of memory.
Even making it to his intended destination unscathed was an overly difficult challenge for Subaru at present. That said, simply calling out while searching wasn’t an unconditionally bearable idea.
“If this situation, this absolute darkness is the work of someone… there’s a high chance they’re not a friendly presence either.”
As the burning sense of impatience gnawed at him, Subaru kept contemplating what course of action would be the best.
If he was to hurry to regroup, he should call out. If he was concerned about Emilia and the others, that would be advisable. Yet the foolishness of acting blindly had been ingrained in him through countless experiences. He already lost his life in this world too many times over it.
“…Damn it. I can’t just sit here and be scared of what’s happening; if I don’t figure out something, I’ll end up facing some nasty surprises.”
After contemplating the feeling of frustration, Subaru decided on the course of caution.
Keeping his voice down, holding his breath, he squinted into the darkness, making his way toward the area where the residents should be collected based on the map he remembered.
The only things he could rely on in this world colored in shadow were the solid feel under his feet and the assurance of the graveyard he had come from. Once again, he reminded himself that the Sanctuary should still exist right before him—
“――――huh?”
Slowly, taking one careful step at a time, Subaru stepped on the grass. However, after only a few steps, he suddenly stopped.
The reason was the wind.
“――――?”
He looked up, and in the invisible darkness, Subaru cast his gaze around, half-knowing it was futile, thinking towards the direction from which the eerie wind had come.
He felt it. There was something distinct in the wind that had just brushed past him.
It wasn’t the cool wind that rushed through the grasslands, nor the dusty air that blew into the graveyard, nor the blood-soaked wind that gusted through a lamenting scene; it was the rawness of wind touched by a living being.
“What—”
Not knowing where the wind had blown from, Subaru turned around in search of an answer.
Behind him, there should be the graveyard, but after just a little bit of walking, he couldn’t even catch a glimpse of its outline anymore.
—No, it wasn’t that the graveyard was unseen due to the darkness; it was another reason entirely.
“———huh?”
“———”
At a proximity where a breath could reach, someone was standing at the very forefront of the pitch-black world.
It was because that person blocked his view that he wasn’t able to confirm the entrance to the graveyard.
And then, despite someone being so near, Subaru could hardly fathom how he hadn’t noticed that approach, not to mention the reason they didn’t speak up as they drew closer. A storm of questions whirled in his mind for a brief moment.
However, that tempest of doubt quickly vanished as an undeniable answer emerged.
So clear, so evident that it was impossible to misunderstand.
“—I love you.”
And with that, the shadow before Subaru uttered the words with an overwhelming affection that seemed about to melt away.
—
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
It was a muffled voice.
Subaru couldn’t even tell if it was a man or a woman; the sound was so indistinct.
It wasn’t as if it had passed through a voice changer or emanated through thick fabric; rather, a more opaque, unseeable power seemed to manipulate the clarity of the voice, muddling the perception.
Yet once he heard those words—the whisper of love—Subaru intuitively grasped the identity of the shadow before him. And he trembled.
Subaru realized that he had sensed that presence faintly since just before exiting the graveyard.
The prickly, thick miasma prickling his skin. The situation in the darkened Sanctuary. The stifling pressure that filled the surroundings, sapping the world of its vitality.
All of these were reminiscent of his encounters with a witch in a place where time stilled, summoned by speaking a forbidden phrase.
In other words, standing before him was—
“Why…?!”
“――――”
There was no answer. But the being without a doubt still stood right before him.
He moved his fingers, confirming his own breathing, assuring himself that time had not stopped. The world was indeed ticking normally. Yet here stood a witch before him.
Faced with an unexpected threat, no less, Subaru’s thoughts turned to a blank slate.
Until just moments ago, he had sworn he wouldn’t waste a second in discerning whatever unfolded before him, meticulously analyzing every detail, yet now, all of that was left in the dust by the magnitude of this shock.
For Subaru, this contact with the witch at this stage was entirely unforeseen.
His mouth dried up rapidly, and he forgot to even breathe as his body went rigid. An overwhelming pressure wrapped around him, rendering him stiff like a frog caught in the glare of a snake.
Currently, being immobile would only worsen the situation. He understood that, yet Subaru’s hands and feet showed no sign of heeding that danger signal.
This was a problem that lay in a different dimension from Subaru’s heart or thoughts.
While Subaru’s heart stood firm against submission and his mind fired up desperate solutions, the parts of his body beneath them, devoid of their own will, coldly observed the circumstances.
In other words—whether he moved or stayed still, the outcome would be exactly the same.
“――――”
No hostility emanated from the shadow before him. He felt no malice.
Yet, it did not mean it was indifferent to him.
On the contrary.
“――――”
From the being stood before him surged an interest so chilling it froze his spine.
Blindly and obsessively, a passion so potent that it compelled one to think, ‘What could draw such interest?’—it tightened its grip on Subaru’s heart, leaving no room for escape.
—Right now, the shadow bore its entire concern only for Subaru.
Within that shadow existed only Subaru. Only Subaru. Only Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, Subaru—
“—I love you, I love you, I love you.”
The voice echoed through his head like an endless loop.
His thoughts became a chaotic mess, and he couldn’t comprehend what loomed directly in front of him. He couldn’t tell whether he was standing or sitting, whether he could breathe, whether he maintained consciousness, whether he was alive or dead; all was unclear. All became muddled.
Fingers reached toward him.
The shadows surrounded him, rising up to engulf his body from all sides.
He felt no will to resist. He had no reason to resist. He found the thought of fighting back to be burdensome, or even what would happen afterward was too daunting to consider, and then—
“I love you, I love you, I love you—”
“Don’t screw with me, you bastard——!!”
—In the next instant, a tremendous force of devastation slammed between Subaru and the shadow, crashing down with incredible speed.
The clash between the shadow and the impact shattered the unseen ground, sending the shadow spiraling while hurling Subaru’s body backward.
“Whoa—!?”
He rolled, crashing against something hard as he managed to fully immerse himself in the shadow. Shaking his head, he freed his body and thoughts from their previous rigidity.
Though his thoughts remained somewhat muddled, they cleared slightly, while a weight like sand filled his head, feeling immensely lighter than it had a moment before.
Expelling the dirt from his mouth, he looked up to where he had been thrown from and gasped in astonishment.
“This is a seriously terrible situation, eh? Can you move, you bastard?”
Facing off against the shadow was a figure slowly turning around.
A man of low stature for a guy. Short blonde hair, a gruff and brusque tone. He was poised notably low, ready for action while retracting his foot from the ground that had been shattered.
“What the hell? You’re the one to save me, Garfiel…!”
“Eh? Are you kidding me? Can’t you see what’s going on here?”
Garfiel’s irritated voice met Subaru’s astonished tremors. He kept watch on the shadow while gradually sliding his feet toward Subaru.
“I’ll grab you by the neck and jump. Your neck might break, but tough it out with grit.”
“Is there some special power that makes your neck tougher with grit—!?”
While retorting, Garfiel suddenly dove forward, snatching Subaru’s body in a literal swoop. Grabbing him by the back of the neck as promised, Subaru let out a gasp of pain and humiliation before he could utter a complaint.
“———!”
—The ground bulged upward, and the shadow erupted.
The exploded black shadow created a wave that came barreling down at Subaru and Garfiel with an overwhelming force, threatening to crush them. Instantly, the surrounding darkness melded with the wave, with Garfiel stepping back, his foot almost sinking into the ground.
“Damn it! If the ground is like this, the ‘Earth Spirit’s Blessing’ won’t do anything—!”
“Garfiel, my feet are starting to sink too!”
“The whole place has gone to hell! ‘Do bad things and a witch’ll show up’—isn’t this just the same deal!?”
Subaru’s own limbs were also getting pulled into the shadows creeping at the ground. It felt different from sinking into water or mud; it was an unknown sensation of being swallowed up.
The shadows clung to him like warm, soft fabric, as if to wrap around him. In a peaceful scenario, he might have even welcomed that sensation.
However, with a sense of eerie urgency, such contemplation was entirely out of the question.
“—Damn it, don’t bite your tongue!!”
With a snort, Garfiel cast a glance downward, his expression grim. He muttered softly, “Crap…”
“It’s obvious but seems we aren’t part of the plan to escape these shadows.”
Garfiel looked down at the encroaching shadow beside him, and Subaru cautiously leaned in to peer below.
A strangled “Ugh…” escaped him upon seeing the scene beneath.
The Sanctuary, now a sea of shadows, had been mostly devoured in pitch blackness, rendering depth and distance indecipherable.
And yet amidst that blackness, even darker shadows squirmed, swirling around him, advancing towards them with crawling speed.
That was the very entity that had attempted to engulf Subaru and the others solely in shadows, the one who filled the Sanctuary with this sea of shadows. And its identity was—
“Garfiel. Do you know what that is?”
“I think it is something dangerous from the way it looks, but I also think it could be something unexpected, and then again, it could be one of those optimistic things too; what’s your take?”
“It doesn’t matter what you think; any of those options is nearly right. You’re surprisingly calm in front of that thing…”
Before he could finish, he caught Garfiel’s side profile, and his words faltered.
To be honest, while Subaru held complicated feelings about Garfiel having saved him, he was starting to mentally organize the situation with a level-headed perspective.
Even so, considering Garfiel’s obvious disdain for the witch’s scent—even to the point of exhibiting such hostility just from sensing a trace of the witch’s essence on Subaru—it was puzzling how he appeared unperturbed before this foundational threat.
Because of that, the next words seemed incongruent—but even thinking that, the moment he glimpsed Garfiel’s side profile wiped it away.
“Did you say something just now?”
As Garfiel cast bloodshot eyes downward, his fangs evidently elongating, he was no longer calm.
Anger. Wrath. Rage. Passion. The whirlwind of vivid red emotions sparkled in his narrowing pupils, leaving no room for doubt that this was something far removed from calm.
At the same time, Subaru suddenly remembered there was something he needed to ask.
“—Garfiel. What about the others… Ram and the rest?”
“…”
“When I exited the graveyard, the Sanctuary was already swallowed in shadows. You seem alright, but what about everyone else…?”
“They’re… lost in the shadows.”
Subaru hoped for a denial as he layered his words, but the cruel answer followed.
Subaru gasped, and Garfiel let out a frustrated growl.
“When I noticed something was wrong, the ground had already turned into a sea of shadows. If Ram hadn’t blown me away with the wind, I would have been swallowed right then and there.”
“…If so, did Ram get swallowed too? What about Ryuzu-san, and Otto?”
“Yeah, that’s right. The old hag and that loudmouth brother got swallowed all at once too.”
Beneath them, chaos swirled, as the ominous waves of shadows writhed, and Subaru fell into a spiraling pessimism about the prospects of survival for them.
If those who were swallowed were trapped in some strange dimension, there might be some hope. However, judging by the feelings he had experienced from that encounter, that hope seemed wildly optimistic.
“What… the hell is that? Why is something like that suddenly—!”
Elsa, the Great Rabbit, Garfiel.
Subaru had summoned the resolve to confront the threats attacking the Sanctuary and the mansion and was ready to challenge whatever obstacles came his way, committed to seizing the truth through endless effort.
Now that steadfastness was washed away by something completely incomprehensible.
Why had this sprung up out of nowhere?
“Garfiel… what about Emilia?”
“――――”
“When I looked in the graveyard, there was no sign of her… She too must have been swallowed, right?”
“――――”
Emilia who awoke from the ominous situation, sprung from the graveyard.
Being Emilia, she surely wouldn’t just look on as the Sanctuary fell into darkness and do nothing. Without concern for her own safety, she’d leap in to rescue someone, and then—
“If it’s into the shadows… then she must—!”
“After Ram was swallowed, the shadows surged into the Sanctuary and gobbled everything up. I tried to attack them as I chased them, but they didn’t budge an inch. Suddenly, they turned back when I was chasing them—”
He seemed to have stumbled into the confrontation that occurred moments ago.
Having swept across the entire Sanctuary, as soon as it sensed Subaru had exited the graveyard, it turned back. So the shadow’s target was undoubtedly Subaru himself.
A shadow that devours everything. Whispering love. This overwhelming power.
Its true identity was needless to say. But,
“Why the hell is the Witch of Jealousy here!!”
“Now’s not the time to talk, you idiot!”
Next to Subaru, who squeezed out that accusation, Garfiel wore a warlike grin as he stood atop the roof. Subaru, mindful of his balance standing beside him, gritted his teeth at what lay beneath.
A vast torrent of swirling shadows surrounded the building where Subaru and Garfiel stood.
As the whirlpool encompassed the structure within its vicinity, it began stripping the ground and the building away as it forcefully pulled whatever lay within its path.
“Ugh, oh no—!”
It felt like being swept away by a massive tsunami or a catastrophic flood.
Experiencing that with shadows that should lack any mass was an alien sensation; he braced himself so he wouldn’t be thrown off the swaying roof.
He endured, but that alone was not a fundamental solution.
“Crap! We’re jumping again, so hold on!”
“――――!”
Desperate to stay on Garfiel’s back, Subaru leapt as they made their escape from the rooftop being drawn into the whirlpool. The two of them were shot off diagonally like a bullet, ultimately crashing into a thicket of trees, shattering multiple branches as they struck a sturdy trunk.
“Urgh—!”
Garfiel’s arm was impaled into that trunk, but with a rough maneuver, he evaded being consumed by the shadow. Subaru, clinging tightly to his garments, just barely reached for a branch, shifting his body to maintain his balance.
After finally managing to catch his breath, the wood behind them crumpled and cracked apart audibly.
When he turned around in a hurry, there lay the building they had just occupied, drawn into the center of the whirlpool, crushed into tiny pieces.
As the structure was disassembled, the shadows swallowed it whole—the swirling shadows flowing into the main body of the entity, further amplifying its mass.
“――――”
Awed by the destruction and trampling, neither Subaru nor Garfiel could find the words.
And in that fleeting moment of stunned silence, the shadows waveringly blurred their outlines—the next moment, Subaru gained certainty that the vague edges of the silhouette met his eyes.
“—I love you.”
“Ugh…”
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”
“——――”
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”
An overwhelming tidal wave of love, a visible blackness shaped like a shadow, closed in to drown him.
It was the love of the Witch of Jealousy, coming to engulf him—.