The sensation that brought me back to my senses was the feeling of droplets of water falling onto my face.

The coldness of the water hitting my cheek in a steady rhythm pulled my consciousness back up. As I became aware, a slow, creeping sensation of my own existence began to permeate Subaru’s body.

The most obvious aspect was the primitive and intense stimulus that needed no words—pain.

“…Zuh.”

As if welcoming Subaru’s awakening, the pain that had been flitting about his limbs rushed to embrace him. Once the initial sensation hit, there was no way to avoid the continuing assaults that followed.

The split forehead, the broken right arm, the spine creaking from intense impact—all were screaming in agony. However, the sound that rose above all was

“Sa-i, evil…”

Looking toward the source of the agonizing pain, I found a branch about as thick as two fingers piercing through around my right collarbone. Its tip, dripping with blood, was completely stuck in flesh, refusing to budge even with the intention of pulling it out.

Fortunately, it had broken partway through; visually and sensorially ignoring it was possible, but it was still an impediment to my actions.

“Too extravagant… what a fashion statement.”

Somehow, I managed to move my recalcitrant body and sit up, leaning against the rocky wall nearby, allowing myself to take a breath. Looking around, it seemed I was near the entrance of a small cave. From the upper part of this entrance, it appeared morning dew was dripping down, striking my cheek—morning dew, and I became conscious of that.

“Morning…!?”

My brain grasped the cruel passage of time, and my body quaked under the violent pain. The sensation of my eyes turning red and being stabbed throughout my body like needles. With tears pooling in my single eye, Subaru’s thoughts gradually reached comprehension.

Before I lost consciousness, I tried to recall what had happened to me.

“…Ah.”

Subaru remembered just how meaningless a tragedy his existence had created.

Looking timidly above, rays of dawn filtered through the gaps in the trees, bathing the forest. Across the slope where Subaru had rolled down, I pondered what kind of scene awaited.

“…Nn.”

Holding my breath, I was tormented by the regret of wanting to die right then and there as I crawled toward the other side like a worm.

Restricted by the branch sticking out of me, I moved slowly but steadily as time pressed on.

Formerly, the old Subaru would’ve been terrified at merely imagining the sight awaiting and would have fled from witnessing it. However, the current Subaru could not afford such a luxury.

I had to witness, to swallow it, and to make it my nourishment.

That was the duty of Natsuki Subaru, who had narrowly escaped death.

“Ha… ha…”

With every step, I crawled up the slope using only my left side. My breath became ragged, and the wound on my dry forehead seeped blood from the sweat. Wiping it roughly with my sleeve, I crawled while smearing my face with blood and mud.

Passing by the wreckage of the dragon carriage and detouring around the felled giant tree, Subaru’s fingertips finally reached the height of my destination—the very ground where Patrasche had been cast away out of devotion.

“…”

For a brief moment, I hesitated.

Lifting my face, stretching my neck, peeking across the other side, I would face the inescapable reality. I wouldn’t be allowed to retreat into the realm of imagination, dreaming that something miraculous had taken place, allowing many evacuees to escape after Subaru was thrown out.

“Am I an idiot? No, I am an idiot.”

With one eye, Subaru could indeed see the moment Patrasche was torn to pieces. The instant when that loyal dragon sacrificed everything for Subaru is still burned into my memories. To think of that as a dream, to flee to some convenient illusion—it would be an insult to the flames that had burned themselves out for Subaru.

Igniting the fire of determination in my heart, Subaru summoned what little strength he had left to open his eyes. Pulling myself up in a position that dug into the dirt, I steeled myself to overcome a thick wave of branches obstructing my view, seeking the scene of tragedy beyond the opened forest—

“…Eh?”

There was nothing.

There was nothing at all.

“Wha… Ah, eh?”

Subaru, who had twisted his face imagining the expansive devastation, froze in disbelief at the sight presented before him.

Scattered wreckage of dragon carriages, numerous uprooted trees. Deep gashes were left in the ground, and destruction and signs of conflict lay chaotic all around.

Yet, more than anything that would shatter Subaru’s heart, there was no outcome.

The result of the calamity. The remains of the villagers who had risked their lives to allow Subaru to escape. The carcass of the Earth Dragon, torn apart in loyalty.

Nowhere to be found.

“The… battle with the beast was not a dream, nor an illusion,” this scene littered with dragon carriage wreckage attested. However, only the results of the tragedy were missing.

Staggering, I leaned against a nearby tree, lifting my body. Fortunately, after surviving the initial shock, my legs and back were relatively unharmed; only bruises and scrapes were visible. I stood, securing my pained right arm with my left hand, looking around.

“Where… Where are Patrasche… everyone… Otto?”

Of course, I didn’t want to see corpses.

Truth be told, the greatest joy would be knowing that everyone had survived. But that was something my body knew couldn’t possibly be the case.

Above all, before I lost consciousness, I had already witnessed multiple lives lost at the hands of that beast.

A gaunt young man striving desperately, crushed without inflicting even a scratch. A woman blown away along with the dragon carriage, losing her life. An elderly man, reduced to a pitiful corpse as his bones snapped beneath a single swing.

Each memory of their deaths eroded Subaru’s heart further away into pain and regret. Yet, even that which I had witnessed was stolen away from this place.

“Patrasche… Patrasche…?”

While reflecting on the lives lost, Subaru desperately called out his partner’s name in a thin voice.

He had indeed seen the moment her body was torn apart, heard the high-pitched scream that arose in despair. Therefore, I could hold onto no frivolous hope for her life.

However, should I find her lifeless form, I could at least offer my apologies and hold a memorial, a duty only Subaru could undertake.

My pace was sluggish, my strength nearly depleted. My searching hands moved slowly and weakly, taking over two hours merely to scan the area.

However, after all that time, what Subaru was able to discover from his surroundings were:

“Cargo mixed among the wreckage, torn pieces of clothing, and then…”

A plethora of bloodstains.

Matching the grim scenario that corroborated my near certainty, there were massive amounts of blood everywhere the beast had clawed. Surely the stench of blood enveloped the area, but with my senses dulled by the clotted blood, my nose could not detect it.

There was no denying the circumstantial evidence. What remained missing was only the definitive proof, and the processes leading to its disappearance remained shrouded in mystery.

More than anything, while searching around, an excruciatingly delayed question burned itself into Subaru’s mind. That is,—

“Why haven’t I been killed…?”

The failure to finish me off—questionable as it was how Subaru could still be alive despite such grievous wounds, it too was hard to swallow without an actual body in sight. Garthiel’s target had to have been Subaru during all this.

As for the reason his claws were directed towards the evacuees—that remained unclear, but perhaps it was intended as a warning aimed at Subaru.

If that were assumed, the reason for the bodies’ disappearance only deepened in mystery.

“Even if they were carried away…”

The total number of evacuees counted forty-two. Even if everyone had become corpses, it wouldn’t be practicable to carry away all those bodies along with Patrasche, the Earth Dragon.

“But then…”

I didn’t want to imagine it, but it was equally unrealistic to presume that the beast had devoured them whole, impossible due to numbers. The notion that Subaru’s own body would be concealed from me for such an effort never crossed my mind.

Before questioning whether that beast would dare make such a roundabout move, the real issue remains why it didn’t deliver the final blow to the wounded Subaru and simply leave.

“…”

Suddenly, it struck me how deeply this resembled the state of the “Sanctuary” rendered barren.

Though the premise had changed, the outcomes shared remarkable similarities. The scars of destruction left behind were evidence of the great beast’s rampage—a separate matter from the disappearance of evacuees and the great beast itself. Ignoring those visible elements, what I’ve seen had become identical to that past scenario.

This meant that—

“The ‘Sanctuary’ is in the same state as before…?”

Having reached that conclusion with an uneasy breath, Subaru exerted himself anew to stand. Afterward, he gauged his position and the flow of paths while attempting to pinpoint the direction of the “Sanctuary.”

—Now, it was the morning of the sixth day.

Back at the estate, it was likely that last night had defined the deadline. Although I couldn’t say anything for sure, if Elsa had attacked, the tragedy had likely unfolded too late.

Furthermore, something must have happened inside the “Sanctuary” causing Garthiel, now a feral tiger, to abandon the idea of delivering the final blow to Subaru. It was probably some reason that led all life here to vanish. The specifics remained wholly unknown to Subaru.

“…”

For a brief moment, I hesitated on which direction to move.

What flitted through my chest was a faint ache born of warmth. It tied back to the faces I’d left behind within the attacked estate and the unshakable regret toward the girl still asleep.

Gritting my teeth, I cast aside my emotions and turned my feet toward the “Sanctuary.”

Slowly, with utmost caution, I advanced in my sluggish pace toward the “Sanctuary.”

I aimed to embed the worth of the lives lost within my eyes, with the intention of offering atonement and finding some glimmer of hope to grasp.

※※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

—While heading toward the “Sanctuary,” I passed what seemed to be the location of the struggle between Ram and Garthiel.

There were traces of wind blades etched into nearby trees, and familiar claw marks showed evidence of the chaos that had raged, tearing the earth and rock apart.

I glanced quickly around but still couldn’t locate Ram—most likely, she too had become a corpse.

If my guess that the beast was Garthiel was right, she had long been his beloved. If her affection ran deep enough, I had hoped there remained a chance.

“Developing to such an extent that they resorted to killing each other… Just how absurd this is for a light novel,” I mused.

There was something worth protecting for both of them, and this relationship had escalated into deadly conflict.

In the midst of it, feelings of love and affection had been present. Just how much could those feelings serve as a restraining force? If they could deter one from wielding lethal weapons, then surely they should have stopped before it even began.

Having started without that, it could never be a reason for an end.

“…Sorry.”

I muttered an apology to the one whose figure remained concealed, yet had given their all for my sake.

In vain was her struggle as I disregarded my convictions, making my way back to the “Sanctuary.” Ahead lay what I needed—something essential for Subaru, who intended to die once more.

With a heart full of unresolved regrets, Subaru pressed on toward the “Sanctuary.” The distance I had once covered in mere minutes atop Patrasche had taken hours in my injured state.

Pushing through pain, I finally drew close to the “Sanctuary” just as evening approached.

“Half a day to finally…”

I had made it this far.

I wanted to crumble in relief at that spot, but there was no trace of accomplishment. Instead, the emotions boiling within me were filled with powerlessness and anger directed at myself. Yet outshining these feelings of self-loathing was something black and burning.

“Returning to this place… Garthiel…”

Resentment and anger surged against the blonde piece of filth I had desperately tried to distance myself from my thoughts.

Three major reasons for returning to the “Sanctuary.”

The first was to uncover the mystery behind the inexplicable phenomenon of desolation occurring within. At the very least, I wanted to grasp a thread of its causation for the future.

The second was to confirm the safety of Emilia, who I had left behind in this place. Should the phenomenon occur, her safety would be no exception. Related to the first point, this needed checking too.

And the third—was an intense flame that burned within my heart, so much that even the first two reasons could not contend.

More than anything, I wanted to rip Garthiel, that brutal tiger, to shreds.

Entering the “Sanctuary,” I passed through the two moss-covered pillars that served as the entrance. Stepping inside, Subaru breathed low and quietly as he surveyed the surroundings.

In the eerily silent “Sanctuary,” as I expected, the presence of humans was absent. Prior to this, however, I had heard not even a single sound from the insects throughout my journey here.

The disappearance of the residents of the “Sanctuary” did not simply stop there; it seemed to disturb the silence throughout a large area, leaving all life itself at a standstill.

“…”

Even my own breathing felt unbearably loud compared to this silence, making Subaru seek absolute stealth for the sake of his increasingly painful throat. Panting repeatedly in short breaths, I dragged my body toward the innermost part of the “Sanctuary”—toward the building where Emilia should be.

—At this time before evening, Emilia was likely waiting for the trial, seated with her knees hugged tightly to herself. This behavior had manifested noticeably since the third day, especially under circumstances devoid of Subaru’s support. It was reasonable to believe her heart was more grave than in previous loops: increasingly alone and filled with urgency.

“She’s not here, huh…”

Peeking through the opened door, Subaru murmured while surveying the empty interior.

Emilia was nowhere to be found, but the sheets on the unused beds were wildly disheveled, and chairs were left toppled on the floor. It was unclear whether this had resulted from resisting the phenomenon of desolation or from Emilia’s instinctual urgency as she was cornered.

Still, along this path, Subaru had yet to encounter anyone.

“Should I check on Roswaal next…?”

After accepting Emilia’s absence, Subaru contemplated his next action, feeling oddly calm inside.

What I suggested was a necessary task, preventing any further grievances; internally though, I was half-prepared to concede it would probably turn out to be a fruitless effort.

As predicted, the “Sanctuary” had succumbed to desolation. Once Emilia’s presence was lost, Subaru’s attachment to this place had faded.

Furthermore, with Emilia’s disappearance, I noticed my heart remained unsettlingly quiescent.

Perhaps I had seemingly gained an unyielding and dazzlingly resilient heart of steel.

No, that wasn’t it, I promptly shook my head.

The heart of steel I sought was at odds with my current emotional state, lacking any anchor. Torn by anger, locked in ignorance, worn-out and reaching a point of bursting, my heart had grown weak.

It was not that I was unshaken; I had simply recessed into a void.

—I lacked the will to live.

It was a given.

Currently, Subaru did not live because he wished it. He had merely survived the moment he should have let death take him, unable to die until settling the reasons for that.

More than anything, my focus lay on the will to die rather than on the will to live.

How was it that I could persist in such a world?

Emilia was gone. Rem was also missing. Patrasche was lost. Ram and Petra had likely perished. Otto’s life was a matter not worth contemplating.

No one was here. No one remained. Because Subaru lacked the smarts, the strength, the efforts, the wishes—none could be saved. No one was saved, even though this was what only Subaru could do.

“Thus… for me…”

To reclaim everything. To carry through everything. To set everything back on the correct path—that responsibility was mine.

A duty only Subaru could fulfill. A task Subaru had to undertake.

Any sacrifices incurred must remain within Subaru.

All that must be lost, only Subaru must continue to dwell on it.

The cost I could expend must be shouldered solely by Subaru.

I would pay the cost. I would accumulate the sacrifices. And I would reclaim it all.

“…”

Stumbling slightly, Subaru exited the building.

The direction my feet were taking was not toward Roswaal’s caring home, but instead toward the innermost depths of the “Sanctuary”—the graveyard. That very place where Subaru had sought entrance during the last desolation of the “Sanctuary” and was met with some obstruction that led to my death. Once more, I would be stepping foot there.

Why? Of course, it was to be killed.

If the same situation reoccurred, it was likely they would make a move to take Subaru’s life once again.

And if I knew that was coming, I wouldn’t get hit by lethal damage with a single blow, which was Subaru’s goal.

Should I find myself killed in a second attack, I wouldn’t mind if only I could grasp the identity of the attacker.

With a resolve to meet “death,” Subaru took steady steps toward the designated location.

I was just shy of the entrance to the graveyard—the exact spot I couldn’t quite remember but knew I had approached when I’d been pierced in the abdomen from behind.

As I glanced toward the graveyard from afar, an intense beating of my heart filled me with a mix of icy and hot blood coursing through my veins. Warm or cold, I could hardly tell.

My body was ablaze, my limbs tingling. Yet, my fingertips felt as if they were quickly filled with cold lead, while my head cooled enough to observe the situation with clarity.

Knowing I was walking toward death, confronting my own demise faced me as a foolish existence.

Despite having sworn resolutely to achieve results at the cost of my life, my expressions of resolve were far from that; my eyelids drooped, biting my lip while my limbs trembled uncontrollably.

In this crucial moment, I loathed and cursed the weakness that revealed itself beneath my façade. Shoving that emotion aside, I still pressed forward.

No matter how weak, fragile, or foolish I felt, I wanted to be the version of me that continually sought the courage to move forward.

With a twisted form of misguided positivity, as if combining flaws and deficits, Subaru continued stepping toward the graveyard, the road leading to death.

Closer to the graveyard. My heartbeat quickened, and the sound of blood flowing through my skull rang loudly. The sensation of gastric acid rising from my emptiness scorched my throat. My knees trembled as if they would soon give way, and the sweat from my left eye blurred my vision.

With my left arm raised clumsily to wipe away the moisture, I looked forward once more.

“…Ah?”

Just as I lifted my foot to advance toward the graveyard, I perceived a change before me.

Not a single bug chirped, only the occasional gentle breeze rustled the leaves. Then, unexpectedly, a small, intermittent cry sliced through this silence.

At first, I thought it was a small white furball rolling in on the wind.

Yet, as it stopped a few steps ahead of me, it began to tremble slightly, and then, before me, it stood on its hind legs and pricked its long ears up.

“A… rabbit…?”

With elongated ears and a coat fluffy as snow, the little creature boasted two strikingly red eyes. It looked around with a flurry of jerky motions, and when it glanced up at Subaru, it tilted its tiny head and squeaked a melodious sound.

A small, exceedingly tiny rabbit. Its size was no bigger than Subaru’s fist, appearing almost indistinguishable from a hamster at first glance. Its ears indeed matched the rest of its tiny body, giving it an almost misleading appearance for a handheld pet.

A rabbit suddenly popping up in a place devoid of any trace of insects or humans—the very area where all traces of life had vanished.

Surely it couldn’t be a creature that resided in these woods, yet given how Subaru had encountered no other life forms thus far, this little one was far too unexpected.

“Why is there a rabbit here…? It’s a rabbit, right?”

My baffled inquiries continued as I looked around, scanning for other living beings that might have flowed into the “Sanctuary” alongside this rabbit. Absentmindedly, I reached out toward the little creature, hoping to touch its soft fur—and then—

“…”

In the next instant, my left hand was completely severed at the wrist.

Blood burst forth from the ragged, crude cut, and bluish-green veins dangled from the wound. The sight of white tendons or nerves visible was grotesque enough, as the human body’s destruction unfolded before my very eyes—just moments into this unexpected reality.

But, moments later, a wave of pain from another dimension slammed against Subaru’s brain, causing my body to collapse to the ground. The branch piercing through my collarbone broke halfway, sending sharp pain jolting through me. Pain, pain, pain.

“Gah!? Ah, wooah! Ooooh!”

My thoughts ignited.

Pain surged throughout my body so overwhelmingly that I couldn’t grasp anything realistic about existing in this agony—why must I endure this dreadful pain pricked at me continuously? Where did this pain come from? What happened? Where was I? Why was it painful? What hurt? Why did it hurt? Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain—.

As I writhed in agony, pressing my blood-spilling wrist against the ground, Subaru subconsciously bit into the dirt, engaging in the nonsensical act of chewing mud. Faintly sensing the bitter taste of dirt and breathlessness pulled me back to semi-consciousness, my vision spinning as I focused on my feet to find that white furball once more—its pristine fluff now marred with red dots, stuffing its mouth with something. The black nose beneath its twitching cheeks just revealed my left pinky finger protruding.

I understood. I grasped what had transpired. I was eaten. Eaten. Eaten.

“Gah, ahhh!!”

Shrieking in madness from the understanding coupled with pain, I rolled my body toward the rabbit. My right arm lay immobile, broken, while the left from the wrist down was lodged inside its belly. I couldn’t do anything, but at least I had to determine its true identity—

An intense burning sensation clawed at my calf. A jarring sharpness rasped mercilessly against my flesh and bones, leaving me with no choice as I reflexively rolled my eyes back in horror, and foamy bubbles erupted from the back of my throat. I wished for my head to drop and black out, but the intensity of the agony shackled my awareness.

Blood bubbles overflowed at the corners of my mouth, quaking like a fish beached on land. Miraculously, it served as the only reminder my ears still functioned, while this nightmarish turn of fate carried a morbid harshness.

As if creeping closer, countless footsteps captured my eardrums.

A bouncing motion, light in weight. The numbers of the successive chirps seemed innumerable; even if my vision were intact, I couldn’t have mustered the will to count them all.

Ah, and it was fortunate that only my hearing was intact at that moment.

At once, I experienced the gnawing sensation of countless fangs clawing into every part of my body, realizing the sheer threat surrounding me easily outnumbered a hundred.

A scream poured forth. Rolled onto my back, I gazed up at the sky as my throat quaked in hysteria. In that instance, furred creatures invaded from opened jaws. Tongues gnawed me apart, sharp fangs sliced through my throat, devouring my esophagus down to my stomach within.

An invasion from the rear collided with the oncoming menace, vying against each other, furiously scattering my insides in scattered directions—Natsuki Subaru was being minced.

With every living moment, I felt myself becoming nothing more than chunks of flesh inside a living being.

Gone was any trace of fear. Pain was now an afterthought. Consciousness rattled through me, wondering how I still retained any lucidity.

I was being eaten. I was being consumed. My left eye was gone. My ears were useless. All my organs devoured, my skin was now being peeled away. A gaping hole was driven into my skull, and the teeth invaded, lapping at the nearly spilling out remnants of my brain—.

—.

—.

—.

—.

—.

—.

 

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