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It was—despair.

What Ha-yoon saw was likely despair.

I couldn’t quite pinpoint what I felt, but for some reason, Ha-yoon, who was connected to me, must be sensing my emotions, my thoughts.

The darkness of despair mixed faintly with Ha-yoon’s hope, but it couldn’t completely shatter that despair—

However, another color began to weave its way in.

Next to join was the light green of wisdom.

Wisdom was holding onto my arm. She wasn’t fully connected to despair, but her magic climbed up my arm and through the wand, intertwining with the despair.

“Ji-eun…”

Wisdom looked at me with a surprised expression.

I had nothing to say. What could I do, even now that I was showing my despair? There were just too many aliens. Even if this were Earth, it would have felt like being swarmed by mosquitoes in the sky.

But once again, hope mixed in with my despair.

Children who felt hope just from the existence of a country that hadn’t crumbled to despair.

And only after facing that hope did I realize how important I was to these children.

Just as I managed not to crumble, perhaps it was also thanks to me that these children were able to hold themselves together. That thought was not merely arrogant.

Wisdom, who was like a sister to me, fell into despair after I disappeared. Yet, knowing that I hadn’t died and that I was still fighting, she endured, feeling hope and was eventually able to meet me again.

Ha-yoon must have felt the same. Knowing I fought against an enemy, realizing that I was someone being chased by many people, Ha-yoon surely felt despair. After all, she knew she was one of those who had attacked me.

But even so, she didn’t crumble. She always walked in search of hope.

It’s a strange story, but at the end of that hope, I was there.

“…Pang-pang.”

While I was holding on, Pang-pang came closer to me.

Pang-pang smiled at me.

And as if this incident was her fault, she wore a sad expression.

Slowly, she reached out and grabbed my wand.

Hope once more swirled into despair.

Ah, yes.

That’s right.

Just as these children were connected to me, feeling my despair, I was also connected to them, feeling hope.

That hope will never be severed. It wasn’t buried in despair. Like the shining North Star in the distance, it was always there, guiding me in that direction.

No matter how far I walked, I could never reach the North Star.

But at least, by looking at that star up there, I wouldn’t lose my way.

Like that hope which lay deepest in my heart, beneath the pit of despair.

I endure.

I was hanging in there. Even as I spat out blood mixed with black liquid, I kept looking forward, somehow managing to hold on.

Despair is something everyone experiences. But whether one can endure it or not depends on whether there is light of hope held within the heart.

I have, how many lights of hope—

Before I knew it, I felt other hands touching my shoulders and back.

The magical girls, who always fought through hope, were holding me. Jua, Rose, Delphinium, Dalia.

“…”

It’s true.

What a ridiculous story.

As the power of the magical girls protecting us faded, the aliens started to swarm us.

But they couldn’t get any closer.

Every time they drew near, the despair was absorbed by my wand like a black hole.

“————!”

Now a complete monster, the Chairman let out a monstrous roar. Covered in a grimy, oily mass, he reached out towards us.

It wouldn’t be strange to call him the embodiment of despair.

Had he learned by seeing my form?

The aliens swarmed around the monster, and those aliens fell back to the floor once again. The despair yanked from the circuits became the material that made up the monster.

Slowly, slowly, the monster kept growing. I couldn’t help but think it might fill the entire galaxy.

“…Ah.”

Before I knew it, we had moved far away from where we originally were.

As I fell into my despair, the light around us extinguished one by one. As if despair wouldn’t leave anything behind, it devoured the surrounding light greedily.

Is that not the essence of what the former Chairman wanted to create?

To devour everything that originally existed, all grotesquely, in order to create something new—a power like that.

But—

“So, can you endure?”

I muttered.

I felt the firm grip on my arm. Pang-pang, Wisdom, Ha-yoon.

And the hands resting on my back and shoulders too.

So—

“Can you endure?”

Can you withstand despair without hope?

Can you take all my despair and turn it into your own?

Well.

I truly thought that was impossible.

Because—

“Despair can only exist because there is hope.”

You become frustrated because you have a goal. You feel disappointment because you didn’t give up. You fall because you are making progress.

If you just stayed fallen, if you didn’t even try to get up, it would simply be easier. Yet, because there’s something you want to do, somewhere you want to reach, you end up moving forward.

Thus, while feeling despair, you don’t give up, and you despair precisely because you don’t give up.

Because there is hope ahead.

“Hmm.”

Yeah, Pang-pang might be right.

If the North Star and Earth are far apart—honestly, isn’t it now possible to reach it?

If we build a spaceship, use the warp point, and keep moving forward, maybe we could see that North Star up close.

Even if others say it’s impossible, if we don’t give up, maybe one day we can do it.

Just like me now—

“No, you can’t endure.”

I declared.

My despair— is entirely mine. It’s the feeling I had because of the person I long for—the people I love.

If you merely snatch someone else’s despair, you could never hold on.

If there’s no one beside you, if you want to take everything on by yourself—you cannot endure.

No one in this world could be that strong.

“If you’re really curious, I’ll show you.”

I gripped my wand tightly.

The hopes we had that had condensed at the tip of the wand began to slowly push out the despair stacked inside.

A light shone within the pitch-black mass—

It felt like the magic could swallow even the darkness of despair.

“—————!”

The monster screamed.

The blackness of the monster’s flesh tore away. It burst and scattered like liquid, and a bit of light began to return around it.

It wasn’t exactly a pleasant sight.

But it was somewhat, a refreshing sight.

Like a villain in a boy’s comic being consumed by light, the monster vanished into darkness.

After a chunk of that flesh was torn away, what remained was just one tiny, red-skinned person.

Like someone who’d seen something they shouldn’t have, they stared blankly, mouth agape, gazing far away, floating in midair.

“……”

And then, I also.

“Ji-eun!?”

As I lost my grip on the wand, Pang-pang rushed over and caught me. Was the facility’s gravity mechanism malfunctioning? Our bodies were floating in the air.

The black hole at the tip of the wand was gone.

Before I knew it, I was wearing nothing. As if the clothes created from my despair had now become meaningless.

My hopes touched my body.

……

Perhaps, not long ago, I would have been afraid to close my eyes.

Because I hardly had anyone to help. Afraid that if I closed my eyes, I might never open them again.

Afraid of losing even the smallest semblance of hope that existed for tomorrow.

But now, I was exhausted, yet my heart felt at ease.

Even if I collapsed, even if I fell and lost consciousness here, I knew there were people beside me who would catch me.

Just as much as it hurt me to hurt myself—no, even more, because I know there’s someone who is hurting for me right beside me—I felt relieved.

“…Just a little, I’ll sleep.”

I whispered.

“…Okay.”

Pang-pang replied softly.

“Good night, Ji-eun.”

Ha-yoon said in a slightly choked voice.

“Rest easy.”

Wisdom added.

“…Thanks.”

I replied quietly.

That was the moment, my last memory.

I answered quietly.

It felt like someone answered back. I mean, it wasn’t strange that someone would, with so many children around. Unfortunately, I couldn’t recall the memory. My consciousness was too far gone at that moment.

That was the moment, my last memory.

I fell into a deep sleep.

For the first time in a long time, without any worries.

 

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