Chapter 185


Why is my life like this?

Why does it feel like I’m falling down every time I try to feel even a little bit of happiness?

It’s not like anyone’s holding me back.

I just don’t like how the situation is flowing like this.

Ah, right.

In the end, it’s my fault.

I was jealous of Ha-yoon and thought that somehow I could catch up, even trying to beat her a few times.

And I needed the strength to charge in.

But I looked for that strength in the wrong place. Maybe that was the problem.

So, it means I was the problem.

“……”

I could hear the sound of fighting outside.

When I got to the roof of the headquarters building, I despaired once again upon seeing the magical girls.

Ah, this is going to be tough. I won’t even be able to win in this tired state.

But then, surprisingly.

They fought for me.

What I wanted, I’m not really sure. Maybe it was just because it felt just, or maybe it was just that Ha-yoon thought she wanted to help me. So that’s why they followed. I have no idea.

I somehow knocked down the aliens and made it to a place where I could broadcast.

James placed his hands on the equipment, and in just a bit, it would be over. I would tell everyone everything I knew. What I went through, why I felt wronged— I’d spill it all and feel lighter.

What happened after that didn’t matter. I had already come this far—

But what I saw was Ji-hye bound.

The chairman had taken my family, someone who was no different from family to me, as a hostage.

I could hear the chairman shouting something, but his voice was drowned out by the buzzing sound. My stomach churned and my head hurt.

In that ringing, one thought crossed my mind.

I had already dragged another kid into such a situation. It can’t be called affluent, but still, a kid who was pursuing their own happiness in that situation.

I even latched on to a kid I didn’t even truly consider a friend, like a parasite, and destroyed everything they had.

And just because Ji-hye grew up with me, she was now in danger of being destroyed too.

The sound of fighting was still going on outside. It was Ha-yoon fighting. To buy me some time. Right, that’s what Ha-yoon did too.

She could’ve just beaten me up badly and turned me over. That would’ve been fulfilling her duties as a magical girl, right?

“……”

I stared silently at the screen,

“No!”

I heard James shouting as I vanished from that spot.

There was a crack sound.

It came from my hand.

My hand didn’t hurt. There was magic surrounding my body. It was a useless body on normal days, but it was just about usable in a place like this.

The man with the distorted face from the gas mask collapsed to the ground like a puppet.

As I saw that, the humans surrounding Ji-hye turned to look at me.

The next action was the same.

I moved mechanically.

My head was too stiff to turn, but I did just that. It worked out for the best. Thanks to that, I didn’t kill them. If I could think, I would’ve crushed their throats without hesitation.

I grabbed their legs with one hand and dragged them out, then threw them out the window. The window that hadn’t opened shattered with a crash against the body, but I didn’t care much.

This is an advanced world after all. There must be ways to heal them.

…Could I have been just as much like that kind of person once? What I did wasn’t quite as extreme, but it wasn’t something I could be proud of.

I should be the one getting punished, so why are the people around me suffering?

No, that’s not it.

In the end, this was still all my fault.

All of it was my fault.

……

My vision shifted again.

This time, the people I saw were girls dressed in colorful outfits.

Girls who couldn’t yet be called adults. All of them were hurt here and there, a bit of blood dripping from them. Even their clothes were a little torn.

“……”

What should I say to these kids?

Or do I not even have the right to say anything?

Ha-yoon simply smiled bashfully when our eyes met. She looked a bit tired but was proud.

The noise from outside was now gone.

It was the result of all the kids fighting hard.

“……Ji-eun.”

“……Yeah.”

Ha-yoon called my name softly, and I responded.

“Say what you want to say.”

“……”

I silently looked at Ha-yoon without saying anything, then turned around.

I approached the broadcasting device.

James let out a sigh of relief. He shot me a somewhat reproachful glance for suddenly disappearing without a word, but he didn’t pull out of the collaboration.

James pressed the button— and the TV program changed one by one to the videos we prepared.

The moment I got shot by the police.

The moment I had to run away even after fighting aliens.

Looking battered and bruised all over from getting beaten up everywhere.

“……”

There was no sign of Pang-pang in those videos. There couldn’t be.

Pang-pang was my victim. Ji-hye could probably be called that too.

That’s also the reason I could survive. If there had been no one to take care of me, my mind would’ve shattered into pieces long ago.

When the footage ended, my face appeared on the screen.

That face reflected like a mirror was already exhausted and wounded.

A magical girl fighting while wrapped in magic, yet her eyes were swollen from being heavily beaten. Bruises on the shoulder. Scratches on the exposed arms.

However, that face didn’t show a mere expression of fatigue wishing to rest.

That face was glaring at me.

Thinking of those who got caught up because of this worthless self of mine.

Thinking the same thoughts as me.

What should I say?

I remember having prepared a lot of things. I had so much I wanted to say because I felt wronged, and I wanted to scare the opponent as much as possible.

But my thoughts were already organized. I didn’t want to speak long-windedly like that.

I slowly bent down and pressed the microphone button.

And while staring intensely at the screen, I spoke.

“Did you see?”

Whoever it was directed at, the person listening would know best.

“This is my reason for chasing you.”

I continued to stare at the screen.

The broadcast wasn’t cut off yet.

There was more time left than I thought.

“I’ll follow you to the end. So, somehow I’ll make you feel what I felt.”

Saying that, I finally stopped.

That was enough.

I let out a long breath.

Somehow— for the first time.

I felt like I had accomplished something.

*

Pang-pang was listening to that story on the radio.

It wasn’t just on TV; it was a sound heard on every broadcast.

And she shivered a bit.

That story probably wasn’t directed at her. Ji-eun wouldn’t do that.

Because Ji-eun didn’t know. She still didn’t know anything.

What if she finds out?

…Pang-pang might’ve been the most suitable bait for finding the chairman right now. At least, it was certain she came to Pang-pang once.

If Ji-eun told Pang-pang to play that role, what would she say?

No, from the start.

When and how should she say it? Pang-pang had already let that time slip by for too long and had no idea where to start fixing the mistakes.

If only it were from the beginning.

If she had said the reason while hiding, would Ji-eun have understood?

With her hands clasped in front of her chest, Pang-pang quietly awaited Ji-eun.

It was time for her to come.

Even if she didn’t come, Pang-pang was willing to wait here somehow. She felt like she wouldn’t be able to keep the promise to run away.

If she kept it— then it would become an obstacle for Ji-eun.

As she anxiously awaited— Ji-eun returned.

But this time, she wasn’t alone. As if she had forced someone to follow her, people came rushing behind her.

All of them were the magical girls Pang-pang had loved so much.

Beings who fought for love and justice, impossible to be anything other than earthlings.

……

But the only magical girl that caught Pang-pang’s eye was just one.

A magical girl dressed in black.

Looking very tired, with ragged clothes and bruises everywhere.

After letting her in, it was the expression of the magical girl that Pang-pang had seen every day.

“Ji-eun.”

Before anyone else could even react, Pang-pang rushed over and grabbed Ji-eun’s arm to lift her up. The surprised gazes from the surroundings turned towards them.

Those were the looks of people who hadn’t even known of Pang-pang’s existence—

—No, at least one person recognized her.

That person, looking uniquely shocked, was wearing pink.

As if she had never imagined the relationship between Pang-pang and Ji-eun.

Pang-pang hesitated for just a moment before quickly supporting Ji-eun and making her way home.

For Pang-pang, Ji-eun was the priority.

Even if she wasn’t a magical girl, it would have been the same.