Volume 4 Chapter 19: “Homework”
――After saying goodbye to his father, Subaru walked slowly home, organizing his thoughts while observing the familiar cityscape.
As he walked, various emotions surged within Subaru.
It had been a long time since he had wandered outside during daylight since he started skipping school. The scenery he had walked through countless times before looked different this time, not just because of the sunlight.
“Well, a truant walking confidently under the sun isn’t exactly common.”
He certainly didn’t want to become the talk of the neighborhood or get picked up by the cops.
Despite harboring an unintentional desire to be disliked by both his father and mother, Subaru didn’t want to become the subject of police inquiries either.
Wherever he went around the house, memories flooded back.
With each step, he felt them resonate beneath his feet as he walked through a quiet—no, purely deserted residential area, and finally, as the sensation of dried tears on his cheeks became less bothersome, he arrived in front of his home’s gate.
Taking a deep breath, he paused.
He closed his eyes against the myriad of emotions swirling around inside him, swallowing them all down.
“—I’m back.”
He opened the door and called out into the house.
Waiting for a response, he felt a bit anxious. That expected reply never came. Furrowing his brow in suspicion, Subaru slipped off his shoes and stepped inside, his gaze wandering in search of his mother.
“…Oh hey.”
Subaru turned around to find his mother standing in front of the refrigerator, a mouthful of mayonnaise, greeting him casually.
“…I’m home.”
The tension he felt moments ago vanished in an instant—Subaru shrugged and managed a wry smile in response.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
“I said I’m home, but no response, so I got worried thinking something happened.”
“Of course something happened! Look, Mom’s favorite mayo is empty! So I was secretly drinking Dad’s mayo… Lately, I feel like Subaru and Dad’s voices are becoming similar. It’s hard to tell them apart on the phone!”
“That’s quite the leap, but you hid because you couldn’t tell me and Dad apart? If you’re going to hide, at least do it more discreetly!”
Facing his mother, who’s been guzzling mayonnaise in the living room, Subaru took out a deflated mayonnaise bottle, one that had been drained of its contents, and somewhat absurdly stood it up on the table.
Seeing this, Nahoko tilted her head.
“Don’t tell Dad, okay? When I drink Dad’s mayo, it feels like I’m getting both my favorite mayo’s taste and Dad’s taste at the same time. Isn’t that a good deal?”
“Why is this sounding like the testimony of someone who licks recorders? If favorite things come together, it’s the strongest combo—are you in elementary school?”
“So, what happened to Dad? Did you leave him behind? Have you gotten so fast you can leave Dad behind without noticing?”
“When was the last time I raced with Dad? Nah, I can’t have gotten faster than him, right?”
Just as he was about to quickly argue against his mother’s question, Subaru swallowed his words.
When was the last time he had a running race with his father? Back then, he had watched his father’s retreating figure with a sense of frustration and admiration as he felt he couldn’t keep up.
But that was years ago now. Surely, if he raced Dad now, he wouldn’t be left behind or even lose.
His growing admiration for Kenichi had made him too large in his own mind. Yet, if he misjudged the essence, no one would be saved.
“After all, everything was so half-hearted for me…”
As he said this, Subaru leaned back in his chair, stretching himself out. His mother watched him and chuckled.
“What’s wrong? Did something funny happen?”
“I just thought that gesture looked exactly like Dad’s. He’s always stretched his back like that, and sometimes would fumble and fall over!”
“So it’s not just the voice you two are imitating; the gestures too. It’s hard to tell if it’s good or bad.”
“I think it’s good. —After all, you are that person’s child, right?”
At her words, his heart skipped a beat, and Subaru barely suppressed the moan that was about to slip out of his throat. Staring wide-eyed at her reaction, Nahoko blinked, mirroring Subaru’s own fierce gaze. He inhaled sharply, calming his racing heart.
“If I linger too long, I might just get caught up in my regrets…”
Saying this, he stood up. Feeling his mother’s curious gaze upon him, Subaru scratched his cheek with his finger.
“Hey, I want to ask you something.”
“Sure, go for it.”
Oblivious to his hesitation and reluctance, Nahoko maintained her casual demeanor as she glanced at the mayonnaise. Maybe she had a strong urge to transport it to her throat, just as subconsciously.
The sight of her unchanged attitude disarmed Subaru, and he let out a small laugh.
“—By the way, where did you put the school uniform?”
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Subaru slipped on the ironed shirt, stepped into the neatly pressed slacks, and tightened his belt while standing in front of the mirror, struggling with the deep green tie. Finally, he donned the dark blue blazer.
“Student Natsuki Subaru: Complete… It’s been about three months, huh?”
Seeing his completed appearance in the mirror, Subaru sighed, feeling like he had accomplished something.
Reflected back at him was the school uniform he had not worn for quite some time. The blazer type had always been a hassle, especially the tie, which robbed him of precious sleep in the mornings.
Though he had been wearing it every day for about two years, he still hadn’t improved at tying it, and the thought that this was his last chance filled him with mixed emotions.
“Should I make it perfect since it’s the last time, or just do it like I usually do?”
Even so, he already had his answer within himself.
He flicked the floppy end of his tie lightly, leaving it as it was, and turned his back to the mirror, glancing around his room for his school bag.
With this, he surely appeared to be a model student ready to head to school.
“Unfortunately, it’s already almost time for the third period, not just homeroom. Showing up now feels like I’m failing at the model student role.”
Scratching his head, he smiled wryly and stretched out before leaving his room—he turned back, suddenly remembering something.
For Subaru, who had never moved houses in his life, this place was the only one he could call his ‘room’. It was the room where he had spent almost six years since he was assigned it upon entering middle school. —And this was likely the last time he would be in this space.
“——”
Without words, Subaru merely lowered his head quietly.
He put all six years of memories into that simple gesture.
As his lengthy bow came to an end, Subaru raised his head brightly as he turned away from the room. He closed the door with a loud sound. After descending the stairs and returning to the first floor, Nahoko, waiting in the living room, opened her eyes wide with surprise.
“Oh, I thought you might burn your uniform since you asked where it was, so I was preparing things… Looks like I wasted my efforts.”
“Why would you jump to the conclusion that I’d burn my uniform if I asked where it was? And what’s with the stuff you prepared—sweet potatoes and skewered frankfurters?”
Faced with the array of food laid out on the table, Subaru was left speechless at his mother’s unexpected carefree attitude. Meanwhile, Nahoko, unfazed by Subaru’s astonishment, looked him up and down before saying,
“Yeah, it looks good. When you dress up like a grown-up, it makes your expression a bit more relaxed and calm, huh?”
“Right now, you’re the one stripping my calm away!”
“Why are you so uptight? Want to lick some mayonnaise to calm down?”
“Not really feeling that now…”
“Yeah, I get it.”
As the mayonnaise was offered—its lid marked with an “S” signifying it belonged to Subaru—he declined to lick it, making Nahoko nod as if she knew his reaction perfectly.
“Because you, Subaru, don’t really like mayonnaise that much, right?”
“—”
“You only licked it because you love your Dad and Mom. That’s the only reason.”
Placing the Subaru-brand mayonnaise on the table, Nahoko playfully twirled it around as Subaru found himself at a loss for words, gasping in surprise. Panicked, he swallowed and stammered,
“W-what do you mean by that…?”
“Then, Subaru, which would you choose: the world or mayonnaise?”
“No brainer—it’s the world.”
“See?”
“Is your hypothetical storytelling that poor? What do you mean by ‘see’? Anyone choosing mayonnaise over the world hates the world, not because they love mayonnaise!”
Subaru shot back at Nahoko’s completely off-base statement, breathing heavily as he glared at the mayonnaise on the table. He let out a small huff.
“…When did you start thinking like that?”
“A long time ago. When Dad and I get disappointed if the mayo runs out, you weren’t like that.”
“I’ve despaired over the impossibly high expectations set for me!”
Nahoko’s words left Subaru feeling deflated. However, his inner self was far from peaceful.
He was undeniably addicted to mayonnaise. There was no lie in that, and when it came to condiments, he prioritized mayonnaise above all else. Fried chicken? Obviously, mayonnaise. He even slathered mayonnaise-flavored snacks with more mayonnaise.
But why was he so fixated on mayonnaise?
“It’s because I wanted to taste the same delicious things you two were enjoying, you know? Honestly, I must be a dad-loving, mom-loving, family-loving person…”
“Should I start calling you ‘Super-family-complex’ now?”
“Ha, ‘Ultra-Family-Complex’—that doesn’t even sound appealing!”
Engaging in pointless banter, Subaru shook his head and sighed. Then, suddenly, he picked up the mayonnaise on the table.
“Oh!”
“—Ah, it’s delicious! Damn, real mayonnaise after so long is something else! The natural mayonnaise made with quality ingredients is great, but the unhealthy one made with synthetic colors is the real deal! That one is true mayonnaise!”
He squeezed the nearly full bottle of mayonnaise in one go. The tangy flavor danced across his tongue, a warm heat spreading through his throat and chest.
This was the essence of mayonnaise that those addicted to it loved dearly.
Wiping the white residue from his mouth with the back of his hand, he turned to Nahoko, who looked shocked, and grinned broadly.
“Your love for mayonnaise can’t compare, but I am also a devoted believer in mayonnaise! I swear on the caps of all the mayonnaise I’ve finished off!”
By the way, in the closet of his room, Subaru had saved every cap from the mayonnaise he had used individually. The absurdly large quantity had grown to seven hundred seventy-six caps. And now, after being emptied, this would mark the seven hundred seventy-seventh.
“Three sevens. Make sure to save this in my closet later.”
“Oh, three sevens? How lucky! Just the other day, Dad was thrilled with four sevens.”
“That was on a completely different level of love!”
His mother accepted the mayonnaise with delight. However, Subaru’s sense of accomplishment was slightly dulled; he quickly straightened his expression and said,
“Well then… I guess I should get going.”
“If you’re going to the convenience store, please get me a cream puff!”
“Could you use your imagination a bit after looking at my outfit!?”
He spread his arms to showcase himself. Nahoko chuckled and teased,
“Are you going to school now? I’m happy but… won’t you stand out too much? Isn’t it better to save undone things for tomorrow?”
“Stop killing my motivation like that. I’m already someone who’s been used to being harsh on others while forgiving myself!”
“If you were really that kind of person, it wouldn’t have been so much trouble for me.”
Inserting a self-deprecating joke, Subaru shrugged off Nahoko’s constant teasing. As he occasionally narrowed his eyes, his mother said, “Okay, wait here while I go grab my jacket.”
“Wait… Are you really coming with me? It feels like I’m getting punished for breaking out of my shell and going to school with my parents!”
“I’m not going all the way to school. I’m just going to the convenience store over there to buy mayonnaise and cream puffs. Don’t be so spoiled.”
“Hey! It feels like I’m obligated to go with you now!”
Struggling with this incomprehensible turn of events, Subaru quickly followed his mother as she waved it off with, “Okay, okay,” and headed to her room. This effectively became an unplanned escort to school.
“Seriously… Please, spare me. Ugh.”
Even as he grumbled, Subaru’s cheeks relaxed with relief.
—He was very aware that the time he could spend with his mother had just been extended, facing himself and his own weaknesses.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
“It’s been a while since I walked alongside you like this, hasn’t it?”
“Is that so? I feel like we go shopping together quite often at night.”
“Oh, come on. In the context of our current conversation, it’s clearly about daytime. You need to think more deeply about what your words imply.”
“Getting lectured on perception by my mother is just plain unacceptable!”
Nahoko’s lack of insight was legendary, verging on perverse.
That was the common understanding between Subaru and Kenichi in the Natsuki household, and when it came to Nahoko, conversations infused with tales or humor usually required explicit explanations.
Yet, she had no awareness of this; she had an absent-mindedness to her that was incredibly frustrating for Subaru.
Even knowing that, he still enjoyed talking to his mother.
“I’m glad today is warm. What were you talking about with Dad?”
“Oh wow! With that flow of conversation, the introduction of an unrelated topic is noted! It’s not like I was aiming for that, but, um…”
As they walked the road to school side by side, Subaru pondered Nahoko’s inquiry.
If he delved into the details of his conversation with Kenichi, he would have to expose his embarrassing inner feelings, insecurities, and the fact that he had been sobbing.
Though he felt it was necessary, he believed that momentarily expressing those emotions was fine then, but revisiting them now felt questionable.
With that in mind, he said,
“Not much. Just some talk about Ikeda-kun and a few old stories.”
“Oh, Ikeda. He hit the jackpot and moved to Thailand, only to be tricked by a local young bride and had everything taken from him, now toiling under the sun while completely burnt, right?”
“Hold on, that second part’s a total shocker!”
“Yeah, it seems ill-gotten gains never stick. He sent me a letter saying his body is tough but his heart is fulfilled now.”
“Wow, Ikeda-kun has grown from this experience—even if it’s just another world or a foreign country. I can’t help but think it’s not all that different from my situation!”
Suddenly finding a kindred spirit in Ikeda, Subaru quietly wished him well.
“So, did the talk about the past motivate you to head to school?”
“Oh yeah, well, in short. It made me realize how much nonsense I’ve been thinking.”
“Oh, so you’ve decided not to try to act like Dad anymore?”
“——”
Trying to avoid a direct response to that vague comment, Nahoko unrelentingly pressed him further.
The smile on her face remained unchanged, with that sharp yet kind gaze presenting no sign of alteration. Perhaps, she meant no malice with her words. Nonetheless, it still stung, making Subaru feel a bit thwarted.
“Subaru, you were always ambitious, and you had a lot of skills, right? Because Dad had crazy hobbies, there were a lot of opportunities… It must be exhausting.”
“Um, how much of me do you really understand, Mom…?”
“Listen, Subaru.”
He felt as if she was reading the hidden truths he’d attempted to conceal even from himself. The confidence that emanated from Nahoko rendered him speechless.
Hearing his name caused him to look up. His mother walked in front of him, stopped, and stared straight into his eyes.
“You know how people often say children see their parents more than parents realize?”
“…”
“Well, it works both ways. Parents watch their children much more closely than they realize. Even I’m always watching you more than you think.”
The shock rendered Subaru truly dumbfounded.
All he had thought he was keeping secret had happened to ultimately unravel, leaving him feeling utterly useless for not realizing how misguided his attempts at privacy had been. Moreover, he had fancied himself solitary, convinced that no one could understand his struggles.
“When you were little, I even changed your diapers, so I’ve seen everything about you. The only thing I haven’t seen is your insides.”
“Excuse me! The flow was going well, but that comment was totally unnecessary!”
And about insides, there were chances that no one, perhaps even himself, had a chance of seeing. Subaru counted himself fortunate, having come across such a chance once.
All in all,
“If I could help with your mayonnaise thing or the reason you shut yourself away…”
“If I could do something about it, I would have! But no matter what I did, I figured it might all turn out wrong. But—”
She smiled gently, then continued, her gaze fixated on Subaru’s dark eyes.
“Someone other than your Mom or Dad managed to help you, didn’t they? I think that’s a really good thing. You should thank that person.”
“…Yeah, that person showed me that I’m hopeless. That that person told me I’m not hopeless at all. So now, I can walk like this, facing the past—facing my father and mother.”
Oh, how utterly true that was.
“I really have such wonderful parents. They’re far too good for me, and it’s indeed a precious environment and place I love.”
“—Well then, I’m off.”
“Yeah, be safe.”
After a nod, he made a forced smile as he monkeyed around with his cheeks one last time.
With that awkward smile for his mother, Subaru turned and set off.
The school route was near its climax. He just had to go right to the end of this path, then ascend the hill to the school building—and then—
“Oh, wait! Subaru, Subaru, I almost forgot!”
Just when he had steeled himself for everything, an absent-minded voice came from behind.
Surprised, Subaru felt the urge to stumble as he turned around, maintaining his gloomy mood.
“What now, right at the end?” he thought, worry washing over him, but his mother raised a hand.
“—Take care.”
Then, she waved her hand lightly, smiling while saying it.
—Before being summoned to another world, the last night. When heading to the convenience store, his mother had surely called out to him the same way. But back then, perhaps he had been in a bad mood as he had pushed through the door without a word.
“——”
This time, it was a last opportunity to wipe away that regret.
In the upper echelons of conversation with his mother—no matter how meandering the paths taken, there was always an inevitable return to the right answer.
At the moment that thought crossed his mind, a true, unforced smile appeared on his cheeks.
“—I’m off!”
He called loudly, his voice echoing across the school route.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
In an empty school building, he headed from the entrance to the shoe locker, opening a door that hadn’t been opened in quite a while. After switching from outside shoes to indoor shoes and tapping the floor to adjust them to his feet, Subaru sighed and headed into the hallway.
Subaru was in the third year, placed in the sixth class out of eight. The third-year classroom was on the first floor, and he walked down the hall, glancing at the stairs.
An eerily silent hallway echoed only with Subaru’s footfalls on the linoleum floor as he continued on towards his classroom.
Soon enough, he arrived at his destination. Standing before the door, he took a deep breath.
“——”
He placed a hand on the door and slid it open.
At that moment, all eyes turned to the late-to-class Subaru, preparing for criticism.
“Looks like you got here sooner than expected.”
However, nothing of that sort happened.
The door swung open to reveal a classroom full of empty seats, with only a single one occupied in the center.
The person sitting there turned to face Subaru in his chair, shaking his white hair, and asked with a curious sparkle in his eye,
“Welcome. —What has confronting your past brought you?”
The Witch of Greed asked.