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It had been a month since the execution.

It had also been a month since Vivian touched Kyle Allen’s arm and asked if he was okay.

She hadn’t sought him out since then.

And he hadn’t come looking for her either.

Maybe it was because they both knew there was nothing to say.

Or perhaps it was due to the awkwardness brought on by the strange shift in their relationship since that day.

Why had she worried about him back then? It remained an unanswered question.

Whatever the case, a long time had passed since they last talked.

Yet sometimes, Vivian would watch Kyle Allen from a distance.

She stayed just far enough away for him not to notice her presence.

She didn’t quite know why.

At first, she thought it was her hatred driving her to find him, wanting to see him suffer from the grudge she held against him.

But as she became more honest with herself, she realized there was something else at play.

Since the execution, another feeling had emerged, one that was different from hatred.

Perhaps it was curiosity or maybe… a sense of humanitarian concern… but she had no intention of dissecting those feelings.

Kyle Allen’s days were monotonous.

Maybe it was because he was part of the Punishment Unit, but he trained at specified times, did menial work when scheduled, and took solitary breaks whenever he was supposed to.

Watching him, it seemed he had matured a bit since before. He was probably growing taller and becoming an adult.

Along with his physical growth, a psychological change appeared to be happening.

Where he used to come by unannounced to chat or provoke during class or breaks, now he simply enjoyed being alone in the breeze.

He seemed to be wandering.

Many saw Kyle calmly severing necks as a monster, but Vivian knew the execution had carved a significant guilt into his heart.

Taking in the fresh air was part of the process to quell those emotions.

Perhaps that’s why she felt compelled to watch him from afar.

She couldn’t take her eyes off his lonely pain. His struggles made him feel more human.

For the first time, she saw him not as her enemy, Kyle Allen, but as that boy, one year older than her.

His suffering didn’t bring her relief.

Instead, she felt an odd pity… or perhaps guilt.

She empathized with his pain, realizing he carried burdens that were even heavier than hers. Especially burdens that didn’t need to be shouldered at all.

The Rondore family also underwent changes.

First off, the knights had got their act together.

No knight missed Kyle Allen’s sharp words in the courtyard.

Perhaps aware of this, the knights all stood rigidly to salute Vivian when she passed by.

The soldiers who initially saluted did so more impeccably… and Baelor no longer ignored her.

This atmosphere began to diffuse throughout the castle, and the formal respect towards her grew day by day.

Not just knights, but also the servants and soldiers, even the sentinels, saluted her to an exhausting degree.

Vivian didn’t know how to respond to all this.

Should she be thankful to Kyle Allen?

It felt tricky considering it was the Allen family who caused all this chaos.

Should she thank him for spilling the water and then wiping it up?

Even the act of cleaning up felt less like a gesture of kindness and more like proof of her weakness.

She didn’t understand.

But one thing was certain: her heart felt heavy.

She didn’t know how many days had passed with the same worries.

“…”

Today again, she looked out the window at the same hour.

And sure enough, there was Kyle Allen trudging towards the river.

Nearby the river, he glanced around before settling down and zoning out.

Vivian watched, bit her lip, and stood up.

****

“Ah, refreshing!”

I mimicked my father, relishing the breeze.

Today, I had finished my tasks and was resting by the river.

This place always felt comfortable. The gentle sounds of trickling water and the rustling of leaves were delightful.

Such sounds were unheard of in the snowy North.

If there was one thing I liked about the South, it was moments like this.

Sometimes the heat was overwhelming, but I had gotten used to it enough to bear it.

A month had passed since the execution.

Much had changed for me as well.

There were no more people challenging me in the Punishment Unit.

Under Burgor’s orders, all the boy soldiers had gone to witness the execution.

The mark placed on me that day still lingered.

“Emotionless monster,” “cold-blooded,” “barbarian,” and so on.

It wasn’t just about how I appeared, but it seemed that the southern executioner in general was treated in this way.

And beneath that disdain, I sensed just a hint of reverence directed my way.

Men understood. No matter how much they squawked about me, I could tell whether they truly saw me as beneath contempt or if they feared me.

Knowing this made it easier to endure their treatment.

Recently, the only ones who approached me were Balron, Willas, and Martin.

Initially, they grew quiet after witnessing the execution, but now they seemed to want to return to their old ways.

Reconciliating with them didn’t sound too bad either.

I sighed again.

Lately, I had been having nightmares.

Dreams of twenty heads rolling around like watermelons, all staring at me.

By the time I woke from those nightmares, I often found myself drenched in cold sweat.

Maybe Balron, Willas, and Martin treated me like a person because of how they saw me trapped in those moments.

But still, for some reason, the blood on my hands didn’t feel like it was washing off.

I had scrubbed and scrubbed, and it had been ages since I smelled even a hint of it, yet when I zoned out, it felt like the scent wafted back.

The guilt of having killed lingered far longer than I had expected.

Suddenly, I wondered, how much longer would I have to stay here? Would I really never return home?

-Thud… Thud…

Just then, a familiar sound echoed near my ear.

Though it had been a while, I recognized it immediately.

Strangely, I felt I would know if it were her.

But what was even more surprising was that she had come looking for me.

In the past month, we hadn’t sought each other out.

We hadn’t growled at each other after making a scene either.

Maybe due to the shared weight we had to bear on the day of the execution, an odd bond had formed.

For reasons unknown, I had been avoiding Vivian.

Well, avoiding her, but I always listened for news about her.

Realizing she was nearby, I spoke up.

“…You turned 14, huh?”

A voice answered from behind me.

“Yeah.”

She stood closer than I expected.

“Congratulations.”

“…We’re not in a position to celebrate each other’s birthdays.”

“…True, but I thought you might not have anyone else to say it to.”

“Like you didn’t have anyone either?”

“…Yeah. Just like me.”

“…I did hear it; the retainers told me.”

I scoffed at that.

“No one was genuine about it. You were scared of the adults, right?”

“And you’re genuinely congratulating me?”

I turned to look at Vivian. Her red eyes were fixed on me, taking my breath away after so long.

Looking at her, I replied,

“I mean it.”

“…Stop with the nonsense.”

“…”

I was just glad she was alive. I could sincerely celebrate that she made it to 14 instead of being stuck at 13.

-Swish.

Vivian quietly sat down at a distance.

Between us was enough space for an adult to lie down comfortably.

It seemed to illustrate the distance between us.

She picked up a pebble and tossed it into the river.

I, too, watched her, picked up a stone, and threw it into the water.

“Why did you come?”

I asked.

It was the first conversation in a month.

I was curious about what she wanted to say.

“…”

Vivian stared at the river without answering for quite a while.

The wind blew again.

This time, her scent reached me, a fragrance that dispelled any lingering bloody odors.

“…I came to tell you that I might end up bothering you soon.”

After a long pause, Vivian spoke.

I raised an eyebrow and waited for her to elaborate.

“Uh, I’m not sure how I’ll bother you. But it’s gonna happen.”

I sniffled.

“Why tell me? If I told you not to, would you stop?”

“Not at all.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

But it wasn’t unpleasant in the least; perhaps it was because it was Vivian delivering the message.

“So why tell me? Are you worried?”

“…You think I’d worry about you or something?”

“You asked if I was okay on execution day, remember? I heard it.”

Vivian’s mouth opened widely, momentarily freezing as if lost for words.

Her lips moved hurriedly, but no words came out.

Then, as if giving up, she turned away and threw the stones into the river more aggressively.

For some reason, her face seemed a bit red.

“Forget it. I’m leaving.”

With a splash, Vivian tossed the stone and brushed her hands off, getting up.

…What a mean girl.

I thought to myself.

I expected some sort of comfort, but instead, she threw out a curse and took off. Wait, hadn’t I done the same to her?

Still, it wasn’t as if we had a duty to comfort each other. I was the one making the fuss all by myself.

…But still, I had killed people, so I should get to fuss a little.

Of course, she didn’t realize I did it for her benefit.

She probably thought I was just trying to act tough.

I didn’t bother to see her off as she walked away.

I just stared blankly at the river again and let out a long sigh.

“Hah.”

At the sound of my sigh, Vivian’s footsteps froze suddenly.

The timing was so perfect that I wondered if I had done something wrong.

After waiting for a while without hearing her continue walking, I turned around.

Vivian was still standing there, looking down at me.

“What?”

Was there more she needed to say?

Was there something else about how she intended to bother me?

“…”

Vivian blinked her eyes rapidly, like a distressed puppy. She looked like she was struggling with something.

Then, as if making up her mind, she furrowed her brow and came over to me, kicking my waist softly and saying,

-Thwack.

“Hey, how long are you going to mope around like this?”

“…What?”

Vivian said that and briefly wore an apologetic expression, then started chewing her lips nervously before running away.

I was left staring blankly at her retreating figure.

“How long are you going to mope?”

The words I once said to her echoed in my mind.

“…”

It was then that a chuckle escaped me.

“Hah.”

Hearing her words echoed back made it impossible not to laugh.

It was absurd, and that absurdity just kept bringing out more laughter.

I laughed until it blossomed into a full smile.

Was it because she wanted to relay that message so badly, that she was fidgeting around?

Was she seeking me out just to say this?

I couldn’t tell how long it had been since I laughed like this.

Smiling brought a refreshing feeling that hadn’t been felt in months.

Just as I felt frustrated watching her cry, how worried had she been watching me sulk by the river?

To someone giving off a tough persona, I might have looked ridiculous to her.

It was all absurd. While everyone called me an emotionless monster, she’s the one telling me to stop sulking.

“Hah…”

After bursting into laughter, I spread my arms wide and plopped back down.

The sky was so blue.

“…What a mean girl.”

I muttered to myself, releasing the tangled emotions with a bit of swearing.

“What am I even doing this for?”

…But for some reason, I didn’t mind this.

The fact I realized I was down meant someone had been watching over me.

Just like how I observed her misery, she had watched me sulking by the river.

Thinking back, this might have been our own way of comforting one another.

Had I approached her with the feelings I had toward her when I reached out, would it be any different?

If that were true, I wouldn’t feel too bad about it.

I couldn’t help but chuckle again.

She was right.

I couldn’t stay like this forever.

I needed to get up.

-Tap-tap.

I brushed off my pants as I stood up by the riverbank.

A smile remained plastered on my face.

However, as I turned around, a maid was cautiously approaching me.

Her face was unfamiliar.

I raised my guard just in case she held a grudge against our family.

But without a word, she came closer and placed a note in my hand.

“What’s this?”

Without answering, she quickly turned to flee, just as Vivian had.

“…”

I stood there in shock, then quietly unfolded the note.

Inside was a brief message.

“Be careful with the food.”

 

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