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I briefly thought that just going along with things might not be so bad.

But that can’t happen.

In the end, I became someone who needed help from Pang-pang, and I couldn’t rely on that help indefinitely.

Moreover, I had to wear a mask to wander outside. How long could such a life last?

The possibility of me getting caught was always there, and there was also the chance that Pang-pang could get dragged into it. So ultimately, we had to part ways.

Honestly, I was just cleverly stalling because this life was too comfortable.

I instinctively sensed that the end was approaching. Of course, deciding to end it was up to me. For now, James wasn’t pushing too hard, and I still had plenty to prepare.

“…What’s wrong?”

And it seemed that Pang-pang had keenly picked up on my mood.

Since I told her not to drink too often, she genuinely cut back on the coffee. I couldn’t tell if she was forcing herself to listen to me or if she really didn’t have a dependency like she claimed.

Still, if it was because of my words that she was holding back, I felt a bit guilty. It was like I was imposing such rules after stepping into someone else’s home.

What was I even saying? Pang-pang was just one of the friends she made in this world.

Or maybe the only friend?

This made me feel guilty, so I decided that once in a while, maybe every few days, I would let myself have a coffee.

Drinking in a café was tricky. I had to avoid revealing my true identity while helping Pang-pang.

Whether it was café coffee or canned coffee, I could at least buy it along with some dessert and have it at home.

After coming to that agreement, as I was leisurely sipping my coffee today, Pang-pang asked me something.

“Is there some kind of problem?”

Even though we were almost always in the same room, I often had various conversations with James. Most of them were about future plans.

I had shared almost none of that with Pang-pang, so I might have unnecessarily made her anxious.

“Problem… not really.”

I replied while sipping on the decaf coffee.

“I was just thinking about the future.”

Pang-pang fell silent for a moment.

“Are you thinking of leaving here?”

After some time without a word, Pang-pang asked.

Somehow, I felt a hint of disappointment in her voice. Was that just my misunderstanding?

“…I can’t stay here forever. You know I’m being hunted, right?”

Pang-pang nodded at my response.

“You can stay a little longer. Although the income has dropped since I can’t do combatant work, it’s fine since we’re both earning.”

“…Endurance and what is possible are two different things.”

At my words, Pang-pang lost her ability to respond again.

“To be honest, I would like to continue to stay here. If I become independent, would this atmosphere still feel good? I’d be living with someone who understands me.”

Of course, if we got into it, I was the one imposing trouble on her.

I was helping out with chores in my own way and paying for living expenses, but it was also true that my presence made things more burdensome for Pang-pang. The trash was twice, no, three times as much since James was around too, and the cleaning tasks had significantly increased along with the dishes.

Plus, I also had to be mindful of her. This coffee was one of those things.

“But… I have things I need to do.”

I said that while looking down at my wrist.

There was a device that resembled a watch.

The Despair Circuit.

A circuit that moves on my despair. I transformed into this using it, and immediately after, I found myself in front of Pang-pang’s house.

I had boldly asked Pang-pang for help without thinking, and she had easily agreed to help me.

And she continued to do so.

Even now, when I was talking about leaving, she was this upset.

How kind can a person actually be? It’s fascinating to think she was a combatant after all this.

“Revenge?”

“Revenge… yeah, I suppose so.”

To be honest, I’m not quite sure. Do I really want revenge?

Thinking about it makes anger bubble up from deep within me. I wanted to find the humans who pushed me into this situation and crush them all.

But I’m not saying revenge is futile; I don’t particularly agree with that sentiment.

However… if there was something I wanted, it was undeniably to live peacefully rather than seek true revenge.

I want to defeat the Magical Girl. I want to land a blow at least once, and find the one who turned me into this and do the same to them—

But that too is quite close to the anger stemming from my situation.

If, as Pang-pang said, it were possible to just go on living here— or if it were possible for me to quietly return to the orphanage, I might have just given up and done that.

…But it’s already too late for that.

Slurp.

The two of us sipped our coffee.

“I see.”

Pang-pang murmured.

Her face was a bit flushed. Now that I think about it, Pang-pang never smelled like alcohol even when acting drunk. Then again, it makes sense since what she had been drinking wasn’t actually alcohol.

But that doesn’t mean she didn’t smell at all. Coffee with dairy sometimes had a strangely lingering odor. It fades quickly after brushing teeth, but still.

“If that’s your intention… yeah, I guess it can’t be helped.”

Pang-pang nodded.

We agreed then. I would stay a little longer to prepare, and once I was ready, I would leave.

Without causing harm to Pang-pang.

*

Or at least, that’s what I thought we had agreed on.

“…Um, what’s this?”

I remarked while looking at the pile of Pang-pang’s belongings in the corner.

“Camping gear.”

Pang-pang said proudly as she stood beside me with her hands on her hips, gazing at the items.

I hadn’t even realized she had bought something like this. It must have come through the internet delivery.

“…Are you planning to go camping?”

I asked, half-hopeful, but Pang-pang shook her head.

“Since you keep buying these kinds of things, I thought I might as well get them too.”

I felt a bit uneasy. I had a sense of what Pang-pang was getting at.

“You’re not thinking of following me, are you?”

“Hmm…”

Pang-pang looked around, and when I stared at her, she took a deep breath.

“Yeah. That’s what I’m thinking.”

I rubbed my face in disbelief.

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Um, well…”

Pang-pang seemed to ponder seriously, frowning a bit.

“I might not be all there.”

“What?”

“I came all the way from afar to find what I wanted and work here on Earth, you know?”

At Pang-pang’s words, I slightly opened and closed my mouth.

Well, I knew that.

“So, maybe this time, I’ll do what I want again.”

“…”

I stayed silent for a moment before finally speaking up.

“What if I don’t take you with me?”

“Well, I’d probably have to find my own way. I’d like to know if I should head to another country or stay in this one.”

I found myself speechless again.

No, it would be more accurate to say I couldn’t find the words.

So that’s that.

I do have friends too. Ha-yoon means a lot to me, and Ji-hye is practically family.

And in that sense, Pang-pang is also my friend. So I didn’t want to throw her into a dangerous situation.

But at the same time, I was oddly grateful that Pang-pang would say something like this.

Logically, I shouldn’t take her along at all.

To be blunt, until I started living here, I kept a distance from Pang-pang that I even referred to her as my “Earth Buddy” in my mind.

She always came to me first, and I found that somewhat burdensome.

Yet now, Pang-pang’s words were causing my heart to waver, which felt a bit frustrating. It made me feel pathetic about myself.

Even though I couldn’t share these feelings with Pang-pang.

“Look, if you want to be a little comfortable, don’t just leave on your own. I think I have a decent understanding of what kind of person you are.”

“What kind of person am I?”

“A person who can’t leave someone they know behind.”

“…Even though I’m trying to take over the biggest company in this country?”

“Can’t that be a separate issue?”

At Pang-pang’s words, I fell silent again.

*

“Are you out of your mind?”

James reacted that way to my words.

“Of all people, you’re bringing a complete outsider—a normal girl—and what benefit do you think we get from that?”

“Yeah, right. There’s no advantage to this at all.”

I sighed heavily in response.

Pang-pang was fast asleep, passed out from the caffeine.

James and I were discussing things in the meantime.

“What the hell made you think of that…?”

When James said that, I paused for a moment in thought before replying.

“…Maybe, I just didn’t want to be alone anymore.”

Yeah. I thought that.

I didn’t want to be alone.

Despair isn’t something you can often engage with, to be honest.

James sighed heavily, resting his forehead in his hand.

 

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