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153 Chapter

“……Your hair is pretty.”

Quiet glances exchanged here and there.

After a heavy, oppressive silence, I spoke softly. It may have been a somewhat random comment meant to break the silence, but it was certainly heartfelt.

“This is my natural hair.”

Leoh lightly tossed his hair back, white strands flying into the air like snow. Perhaps it hadn’t been easy for him, as his voice sounded rougher than before, a hint of time passing since we last spoke.

“I’m sorry for not being in touch.”

“Not being able to reach out for a while was this reason… Honestly, even after waking up, I didn’t have the courage to contact you. I won’t make excuses.”

I had a lot to say, but an apology came first. Leoh was one of the first to reach out desperately after I collapsed while stopping the terrorist attack. Not replying to any of those frantic messages since waking up was undoubtedly my fault, no excuses.

“I was just scared. I was afraid of facing you again after messing up.”

With his unreadable eyes, Leoh looked down at me. What I blurted out was my raw, unfiltered honesty.

Although I hadn’t been able to contact anyone since waking, reaching out to Leoh felt particularly daunting. It was because of the fight we had regarding Leisha’s belongings.

“You can’t just follow Zigmund now. I can’t allow innocent people to die.”

“Ha… This is driving me crazy. Kashmir, you don’t understand how much Leisha means to me. She’s not just a caregiver to me… I absolutely must retrieve her belongings. Please… let me go.”

In our last encounter, Leoh and I had been at odds over chasing Zigmund, who had fled with an innocent. Leoh was willing to unleash chaos in the town to reclaim Leisha’s belongings, while I stood in his way for the safety of the civilians.

“I won’t just stand by. If you want to go, you’ll have to take me down.”

I had no regrets about protecting the village from Leoh, but whenever I reminisce about that moment, a bubbling regret as hot as molten lava choked me.

“I shouldn’t have been that harsh.”

I shouldn’t have driven away a child already full of scars with such ferocity. Instead of drawing my sword, I should have embraced him. I shouldn’t have just held him back, but comforted him and helped him find another way.

It was only after it happened that I realized how cruel I’d been to him.

“How foolish. I’m still making mistakes and learning.”

Combining both my past and present lives, I’ve lived more than 50 years. At this point in life, I should have been able to avoid mistakes, yet I still found myself making errors and regretting them.

I wondered how much longer I’d have to live before I wouldn’t make irreversible mistakes.

“I was scared all along after we parted ways. I thought you might say you hated me when we met again. That’s why I couldn’t reach out.”

“I really hate you. But, ironically, even if I die, I can’t bring myself to hate you, and I find the fact that I cannot hate you so loathsome…”

That day, Leoh said he could not hate me, yet I was still terrified.

A person’s heart can be as light and fragile as feathers scattered by the wind. By now, it seemed that the affection I once had for him might have worn thin.

“But I can’t turn away from you because you’re too precious to me.”

There are moments when one has to take a step forward. For something greater, despite all hesitations, there are times one must step up.

I slowly moved toward Leoh, his green eyes intensely focused. I inhaled the lemon-scented air deeply and let my gaze soften.

“Will you forgive me?”

A heavy silence lingered. Leoh was gazing at me with an unreadable expression, lips pressed shut. I didn’t look away but waited for his response.

“…I was prepared to kneel today.”

What followed from Leoh’s lips was an unexpected statement.

“I thought you might be disappointed with me after we parted. I was ready to kneel and beg you to take me back if you wouldn’t accept me anymore…”

The sunset cast a shadow across his face, and under that gloomy expression, he chuckled bittersweetly, contorting his features.

“What if you apologize?”

A wave of wind tousled his white hair. Perhaps caught in that breeze, even his absinthe-colored eyes shimmered like rippling water.

I saw relief spreading from his eyes like paint on a canvas.

Only then did I realize that the emotion he had been trying to hide since confronting me was indeed fear.

“While we were apart, I thought about what you said. About valuing life. I kept thinking about it, but it’s still difficult for me to grasp.”

His low, slightly hoarse voice confessed calmly.

I nodded silently. He had his own way of living. I shouldn’t expect him to understand my perspective all at once.

While I prepared myself not to get agitated if my perspective was once again rejected,

“But even if it’s hard to understand, if it’s your way, I want to learn it.”

Leoh’s red lips whispered new paths to me.

I looked up at him with wide eyes.

We were in a secluded alley with no streetlights, and no stars yet graced the night sky, but his eyes sparkled like sugar crystals mixed with absinthe.

“I’ll be slow at this. It’s highly likely that I won’t understand you or your beliefs for a long time. It might be frustrating to be with me because we’re so different. But still…”

Leoh bent down to meet my gaze. Standing in his shadow, though it cast over me, I felt more at ease than scared. I knew the one who created the shadow wouldn’t harm me.

“Teach me. Train me in your way and color me with you.”

The whispered words were too dense. Taking a brief breath, Leoh reached out to me, just as he had that day.

That day’s image of him overlapped with the present. I remembered being startled when he reached out to me, as if he was trying to pull me back.

“Don’t push me away this time.”

Leoh muttered as if remembering that day, a low growl escaped him. If an ordinary person had heard it, they would have felt chills from his menacing tone. Although it sounded commanding at first, I understood. He was simply inexperienced with how to interact with others.

He had always been like that. Just like an injured kitten, suspicious of everything and wary of the world.

Now, grown up, he resembled more a massive white lion than a kitten,

Yet, he was still the same. He didn’t know how to speak gently or how to treat someone sincerely.

His words carried a sincerity that could only be seen after carefully peeling away the thick, thorny skin that surrounded his heart like a defensive barrier.

“…In ancient legends, they say that everyone’s heart takes on different polygonal shapes.”

I slowly began to speak, gazing at his long, white hand. Leoh looked momentarily hurt when I didn’t grasp his hand, but he listened quietly without any protest.

“They say that being together means intertwining hearts, which inevitably leads to mutual hurt.”

When two polygonal shapes mesh like gears, they will undoubtedly wear on each other. Being with someone would mean you would certainly get hurt.

“If you and I intertwine, both of us will definitely get hurt, especially since we are particularly different. The process of adjusting together will likely be very painful.”

Even if Leoh entirely adjusted to me, that process wouldn’t be easy. We were no longer oblivious children. We were adults with our own beliefs and ways of life.

Being with Leoh, who treats life as a mere commodity, means my own beliefs might bend at times, just as surely as Leoh would need to compromise his methods while being with me, who clings to life.

“However, if we continue to fit together, maybe one day, both of us can become round shapes and understand each other.”

The process of fitting two people together is arduous and exhausting, making one wonder if it wouldn’t be better to live alone.

However, when the deity created humans, they made not one but two, precisely because humans cannot live solitary lives.

The meshing of polygonal shapes may seem like a path to mutual destruction at first, but over time, things would change. If those sharp edges keep rubbing against each other, they will surely round out.

Though it may take time, I believed that day would eventually come.

As the distance closed, I felt a subtle wave. It was a wave only sensitive senses could detect—whether it was the sound of my heart or Leoh’s, I couldn’t tell.

Lemon scent mingled with the night, wafting a thick atmosphere, and the cool figure before me, taking me in completely with absinthe-colored eyes.

I slowly curved my eyes and clasped Leoh’s hand. The slightly cool temperature felt pleasant.

“Let’s learn from each other.

It wouldn’t be fair for you to learn only from me. Teach me as well. I want to know you.”

After five years apart from Leoh, I wanted to discover what he had become during that time.

“…Can I interpret that however I want?”

After a moment of silence, Leoh whispered softly. His eyes, fixed on me, sparkled menacingly. Perhaps I looked a bit bewildered, as he chuckled and tightened his grasp on my hand.

“Did you just propose to me?”

I opened my eyes wide at his unexpected words.

Proposal. Asking someone to marry you.

Though I had suggested we fit together, that didn’t imply marriage. In fact, I wasn’t even considering marriage since it should be with someone you love.

While I stood there stunned, not grasping the situation, Leoh grinned and knelt as if he were proposing.

“Alright then. Let’s be together. Until one of us gets tired of the other and falls away. Of course, if anyone falls away, it’ll be because of you, but I won’t let you just run away. I want to learn you, to color you as part of me, but I also want you to become essential to me. It wouldn’t be fair if I was the only one to make you essential.”

Leoh spoke cheerfully, yet the sticky emotions packed within his voice were unmistakable. It felt like spilling sweet, lemon-scented tea mixed with honey.

Leoh looked up at me. His obsessive gaze felt like it could ignite my skin. Even though the coolness of his hand met mine, warmth began to flourish in my once-cold grip. On that back of my hand, Leoh pressed his lips long and tenderly, still gazing directly at me.

“While there’s no need for marriage, the best way to be together is through the bond of marriage. If you’re okay with it, I’m always ready to wear a wedding outfit.”

Despite the erratic topic of conversation, there was something endearing about the way he expressed it. As I stared nimbly, still caught off guard by Leoh’s casual mention of marriage, I felt my eyes widen, and I let out a brief, soft sound.

“Oh.”

My rough hand, specifically my right ring finger, vanished into the space between his crimson lips. The warm breath brushed across my fingers, getting caught between my pearly white teeth. The sensation was slightly painful, just enough to sting, but the soft warmth wrapped around my finger felt oddly exhilarating.

“Just a temporary ring. I can’t put one on my left-ring finger since I already have a ring there, but let’s take meaning from the ring finger.”

Still gripping my finger, Leoh peered at me with half-squinted eyes. A faint bite mark remained on the end of my right ring finger, reminiscent of a ring.

“Will you be my queen, Shushu?”

His sharp gaze curled beautifully. The rising full moon in the darkened sky highlighted Leoh, turning him into a sight almost too divine to believe he was human.

Stunned by the absurdity of the situation, coupled with the radiant spectacle before me, I stood speechless, and Leoh slowly tilted his head.

His thick fingertips gently traced the mark on my ring finger.

“Don’t want to be a queen? Then you can be the king. I’ll be your king consort.”

With no hesitation, he placed a royal ring on my finger—the blood of the kingdom of Atara, Alexandros Atara, grinned brightly.

“Is a kingdom sufficient for the wedding dowry?”

Though it sounded playful, there was a smoldering intensity in his eyes that left no hint of jest.

A mysterious, luminescent green poison bubbled up from a witch’s cauldron.

Alexandros Atara did not miss the opportunity.

 

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