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Time flew by in a whirl of busyness, and suddenly it was nearing the time to prepare for the finals.

Wow, it’s really just around the corner. Just a few weeks ago, I was going on about how little time was left, but now it’s actually crunch time.

By that day, there would be at most two months and a few days left, I think. After the finals, I’ll probably say something like “It’s really almost over” again, but… this time feels like it’s going too quickly.

…Because once that day passes, I know better than anyone that we won’t be able to laugh and joke together face-to-face like this anymore.

After that day, we’ll just meet as enemies.

Maybe that’s why I wanted to enjoy this little remaining time as much as possible. Even if it doesn’t bring joy, I wanted it to be meaningful.

So, a bit out of the blue, I decided to close the book and throw a question at everyone.

“Just curious, but what do you think would happen if I disappeared…?”

“Suddenly?”

Ageha was the first to respond, and soon the others followed suit. Most of them looked at me with a similar “suddenly?” vibe.

“Well… you know, being a Hero has that job characteristic, right? People only see the good side, but it wouldn’t be surprising if I suddenly kicked the bucket at any moment.”

They stared at me like I was crazy, so I felt compelled to clarify, but I insisted I just wanted to know what they thought.

“I’m not sure why you want to know. I don’t even want to imagine that. Why would you think about that?”

Ageha showed a hint of discomfort and disbelief, not understanding why I would think such things.

Right, who would think about what would happen after their sudden demise?

But maybe since I’ve lived through this twice, I was actually a bit curious. Is this really it, or is there something else next time?

“I mean, I kind of feel like Ageha, but I’m still curious… Just thinking about it makes me sad, and… I think I wouldn’t even know what to do…”

Lapiz managed to give a response, but it was pretty vague. Perhaps because she was still young and hadn’t seen the shadows of society, she acted like it never crossed her mind.

I asked the others just in case, but aside from Minho, who looked contemplative, most of them just said it would be sad and wondered why I was thinking like that.

“You know, every time I see special cleaners come into the apartments, I think about stuff like this. Don’t you guys?”

“Not really…? I guess we just don’t have much occasion to deal with special cleaners. By the way, Blanca, what’s a special cleaner…?”

When I tentatively explained what a special cleaner was to Ageha, her face paled as she realized such a job existed.

“Of course, they exist. You didn’t think bodies just disappeared on their own, did you?”

“N-no, of course not! It’s just… I never imagined there would be people who take that up as a job… I didn’t know, even in my dreams!”

I guess that’s understandable. If you’re not that interested, you might not know.

Every time I think about stuff like this, I definitely feel the gap between our worlds.

Looking at those who lived without even seeing death, part of me thought it was pitiful… but now that I think about it, I might have even envied that.

I just couldn’t bring myself to admit it, so I looked down on them, belittled them, and acted like it didn’t matter.

Maybe I’ve always secretly longed to live a normal life, from way back until now.

One day, I might wish to live just like them, unaware of any ugly realities, living in blissful ignorance day by day.

A world without you… I can’t even imagine. But why are you asking this now? It sounds like you’re planning to go far away.

Minho seemed to catch on, mimicking what the others said and then slightly steering the conversation to figure out my intent.

“I told you, Heroes can get seriously hurt or die any day as part of the job. I just got curious all of a sudden.”

Honestly, my real motive was that I’d soon be separated from all of you forever, and I was curious about how you might live afterward.

But from the look on your faces, it seems you guys haven’t thought about that at all.

Should I say I’ve done a decent job of hiding my intentions? Everyone I aimed to deceive seems to have bought it, so I guess that works…

…Clearly, I started off wanting to worm my way in to suck the life out of these guys, but somewhere down the line, I actually became their friend.

At this point, the masquerade is no longer a masquerade, and I can safely say I’ve utterly failed at that.

“So you’ve never even considered that? Isn’t that a bit naive?”

“Maybe that’s a bit arrogant to say… but isn’t it unnecessary to think about? After all, we’re super strong.”

Alice cautiously jumped in, asking why we’d be worried if we were so strong.

“But there’s still the Evil Society lurking, and who knows what kinds of peculiar monsters could pop up? There’s plenty of danger out there.”

“The Evil Society… for sure, it’s a terrifying place. How on earth did such an organization slip under Heros Company’s radar?”

“I don’t know either. Maybe there’s some dark version of Invictus out there. Who cares? Heros Company will figure it out.”

I blurted out something that might sound irresponsible, but I felt like I said something I shouldn’t have.

The kids didn’t even see me planning to leave.

I originally intended to only tear apart Jinhyeon’s heart, but somehow, it turned into a much bigger deal.

Should I start being cold from now on?

…But I don’t want to. Even if we part ways in a few months, I want to create as many good memories and moments as possible before that.

How selfish of me, truly an insatiable greedy person.

“Speaking of which, how about we go out somewhere this weekend?”

Becoming friends with someone selfish like me is probably the worst luck for you all.

I swallowed my words and suggested a trip to the others.

“Is today some special day? I see Blanca’s the one suggesting to go out first. Great! But where are you thinking of going?”

Ageha looked surprised that I suggested going out first, but quickly beamed with excitement saying there was no problem.

“Uh… I hadn’t really thought about that. Can I have some time? I need to brainstorm on places to go.”

“Let me know when you think of something! I’d probably be okay going anywhere with Blanca!”

Well, that’s not exactly the case.

Going to explore an abandoned factory or loitering in the slums would probably make her sick right away. Ah, that definitely isn’t a leisure trip.

“Since the weekend is still a bit away… let’s take it easy and think it over. Now, let’s get back to studying for finals. Seolhwa, could you repeat what I just asked you to memorize?”

Seolhwa fell silent for a moment before murmuring in a voice that was usually hard to hear.

“Honestly, I don’t think I need to learn life sciences…”

“Hey, that’s a stretch. Not much can influence living things like temperature does. And if you don’t want to drop to Class B, you should probably learn it, right?”

“I hate the Academy. Why do Heroes have to study stuff they won’t even use later…”

I felt a laugh bubble up, reminiscing about seeing Yeonhwa during midterms.

Will I still be laughing later? After thinking that, I couldn’t laugh anymore.

—–

On my way back home after class, I couldn’t shake off the strange feeling from earlier, so I stopped Blanca to ask her.

“…Is something about to start?”

I didn’t know anything, but instinctively, it felt like something was brewing beneath the surface. Something that could greatly change this world.

Blanca didn’t answer right away but smiled casually, saying it wasn’t anything like that.

“Well, it’s something you might wonder about, right? If I were to die, what would my close friends or loved ones react? I thought you’d understand.”

I didn’t get it. But I felt like I understood why she said that.

Those kinds of posts often popped up in the community. How people would react if something happened to her.

“I don’t fully get it, but I can relate.”

“What? I’m not playing games here.”

“Stop dodging and answer. Is something really going to happen?”

I asked her seriously, but she responded with a stiff expression.

“Nothing’s going to happen. Just do what you need to do. You don’t want the source material to go any further off the rails, do you?”

“That… well…”

“Exactly, right? Then just try as hard as you can to stick to the original material. Whatever you expect, the future won’t go according to your plans.”

She threatenedly encouraged me to come up with all sorts of schemes and do my best to achieve a happy ending as we parted ways.

…If I’d confessed the truth then, would anything have changed?

I swallowed that regret.

 

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