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“Am I crazy?”

– Clatter.

As I threw the spoon into the wooden bowl, I sighed.

Even though it was still morning, I must have sighed hundreds of times already.

It was all because of yesterday.

“Hah…”

I had made some ridiculous suggestion in a flurry of emotions.

I don’t even know what got into me.

I volunteered to be the Executioner for Vivian.

It meant I might soon be killing someone.

My heart raced at the thought.

I didn’t want to kill anyone; it felt gross.

That must be why Vivian hadn’t signed the Death Sentence Document until now.

But seeing her getting ignored by her knights and crying about it—I just couldn’t stand by.

I had stirred up her competitive spirit to stop her from crying, yet here she was, in tears because of some knight, which just annoyed me.

That’s why I let my emotions get the better of me and made that ridiculous proposal.

It seemed too dangerous to do alone, so I suggested we kill the convict together.

“Hah…”

I thought I’d only be killing someone after I became a lord.

I figured I’d at least gain some experience after turning 18.

But here I was—at 14… no, soon to be 15, I’d be doing it in my 15th year.

All because of Vivian.

What was so pitiable about her that made me go this far?

I couldn’t even understand my own feelings, it was just a tangled mess.

Whenever I thought about what she did to me, I felt repulsed, yet I kept looking after her.

Would I continue like this for as long as I stayed in this land?

I hoped not. I wished that one day I’d just completely fall out of love.

I sighed again and lifted my spoon.

For now, I decided to set aside my worries and just fill my stomach.

– Thud!

The table shook suddenly.

Three boys sat down around me, filling the empty space.

These were boys I had grown so accustomed to.

Sticking together day and night, I remembered them better than my own brothers.

Balron, Willas, Martin.

They sat around me without saying a word, shooting me piercing glares.

Espousing an overwhelming aura that felt like they were ready to kill me.

After exhaling yet another sigh, I finally spoke up.

“…It’s morning, let’s eat first.”

To my surprise, they remained silent, which was not what I had expected.

The strange atmosphere made my hands freeze as I was eating.

I rolled my eyes around nervously and asked,

“…What’s up?”

The three exchanged glances, as if passing off some unspoken task to one another.

“Ahem.”

Finally, the plump Balron broke the silence.

“About what we talked about yesterday.”

“…?”

I looked puzzled, and Balron leaned in closer, grimacing.

“Why did you say to try using an axe?”

“What’s that about?”

“…Were you serious?”

An awkward silence settled over the table.

I glanced between the three, expecting some kind of joke to pop out, but nothing happened.

They were waiting for my response.

“…”

Was I serious about it?

I wondered if they were serious about me.

What the heck was going on?

I was so confused that I shot back at them.

“What’s your angle?”

Balron took that as an end and turned to his friends.

“See? I told you he couldn’t have been serious. I said we shouldn’t.”

Willas interrupted, stopping Balron from getting up.

“What are you giving up for? Just sit still.”

This time, Willas propped his neck and asked.

His tone was softer than Balron’s.

“Remember after our spar yesterday, you said for Balron to try the axe and me to take it easy? What was that about? Were you serious, or just messing with us?”

“…”

I maintained my silence, doubting their intent, and Willas, fidgeting, added a clarification.

“It’s just confusing. Your tone sounded like advice, but the content was just ridiculous. What do you mean by ‘take it easy’? If you hit with full strength, won’t it hurt the opponent?”

It was such a ludicrous question that I almost remained silent but answering felt unavoidable.

“…It would hurt if you hit with a wooden sword, but with a real sword, wouldn’t the weight cut through instead of needing ‘strength’?”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Plus, if you overextend swinging hard, it opens you up for counters. Who’s going to take that hit?”

“You dodged my attack? I thought I was fast enough…”

“…If you miss, you end up staggering. You’re the first fool I’ve met who’s this foolish.”

Willas smiled back at my jab, clearly impressed.

“See? I told you he was giving us serious advice!”

Balron relaxed his expression somewhat, stammering like Vivian.

“So, do I really try the axe? Were you serious about that?”

“…If you’re going to swing something like an axe, just use the axe instead of holding a sword.”

“Actually, I’m more used to the axe. My dad was a carpenter. I used to help him sometimes.”

I scanned Balron from top to bottom, wondering how he lived.

“If you’ve swung an axe before, then just use the axe! Why are you holding a sword?”

“Isn’t the sword stronger?”

“…Forget it. Let’s not talk.”

Acne-riddled Martin jumped in.

“Hey, Kyle Allen. You didn’t say anything to me. What about me?”

“You are… ah, screw this.”

“Hey, what the heck!”

– Clatter!

I threw the spoon back into the bowl and glared at them.

Only then did they seem to remember the original dynamic between us, blinking in surprise.

“Why are you all of a sudden acting like this?”

I asked.

Balron pushed his dirty fingers through his greasy hair and said,

“…Because we’re asking about your earlier advice yesterday.”

“You looked so weird that I offered some advice.”

“Weren’t you extending an olive branch?”

“…Olive branch my foot. What about when you three were beating me like you were trying to kill me?”

“You were trying to kill us too, remember? So we’re even.”

“You wouldn’t try that again would you?”

“Only a fool would do that again. I can’t handle a revenge.”

I continued to glare at them, feeling uneasy.

Something was amiss, but I couldn’t quite place it.

After I rambled about how my father was killed by their family more than a few times, they suddenly wanted to “make peace”? It just didn’t add up.

Especially considering how we had been fighting for the past months.

Was all of that smoothed over just because I gave them some light advice yesterday?

Perhaps reading my expression, Balron spoke up.

“Let me be honest for a moment.”

“…?”

“…I don’t hate you that much.”

His confession was so absurd it made me laugh.

“Then why did I get hit? Do you know I lost a molar?”

“Just thought it’d be fun to hit you. When would I get to hit a noble like you again?”

There was no shred of regret in Balron’s tone. Willas and Martin agreed, nodding along.

It was absurd, but I appreciated their bluntness.

I replied,

“I’ve got to avenge my father.”

Willas let out a scoff.

“That’s a lie. I hated my father.”

“…”

“Honestly, I felt relieved he died. He was always hitting my mother and bullying my siblings. He was a lazy good-for-nothing before the war, and he died soon after it started. It’s been six years, so I hardly remember him anyway.”

I looked at Martin and Balron. They reacted similarly.

“Not many people in the Punishment Unit liked their parents. You think we committed crimes for fun?”

“We were just making excuses to hit you. Some of us here are orphans. You probably don’t even know who you are.”

It felt like maybe I was being brought into the fold; Willas playfully slung an arm over my shoulder.

I shrugged his arm away and said,

“Don’t touch me; you smell.”

Willas, cheeks slightly red with embarrassment, tried to seem nonchalant.

“Nobles are different, huh? So, should we make peace?”

“When would I get the chance to make noble friends?” Martin added.

– Clunk!

I stood up from the table.

Balron, Willas, and Martin exchanged glances.

But to me, my head was too tangled to think straight.

They seemed to have organized their own thoughts and feelings before approaching me, while I was just left confused.

“…”

But I also felt like I was getting tired of fighting these guys.

Burgor’s advice kept ringing in my ears.

Yesterday, Vivian told me I’d rot in this land for life.

This was going to be my long-term stay, yet I couldn’t keep living day by day like this, fighting.

War may just drag on for years, with only a handful of actual battle days… I had to stay here for years, constantly fighting.

There was no way I wouldn’t get exhausted. I couldn’t sleep deeply because I was constantly on guard.

These guys seemed to feel similar.

“…Hah.”

That said, I didn’t want to shake hands and laugh together right away.

I needed time. Time to figure out if they were sincere or not.

So, I left without agreeing or disagreeing with their proposal.

Balron, Willas, and Martin only watched my back as I walked away.

****

Days passed.

In the dead of night, Vivian sat at her desk.

The candle she had lit flickered weakly, casting a dim light across the room.

In front of Vivian, the Executioner stood, holding the seal in his hand.

Death.

It remained a heavy word for Vivian.

Having lost all her loved ones to Death, its weight felt different for her.

Once she crossed this line, there would be no turning back.

Just like her deceased family would never return.

Would she be taking someone else’s precious person away too?

Was there no innocent person among the convicts?

Was it really okay for her to end a life with her own hands? Those thoughts kept sweeping through her mind.

‘But I have to do it, or I’ll be looked down on by the adults.’

“…”

Vivian chewed on that thought. It was a voice that hadn’t dulled over time.

She took a deep breath, moving the sealing wax over the candlestick.

As the wax melted, Vivian slowly dropped it onto the document.

Now she had to seal it before the wax set.

But just like before, her hands began to shake.

“Hah… hah…”

She was about to kill someone. With this stamp, she’d take one life away. This truth wouldn’t change until her own death. She would become a killer.

– Shiver…

Vivian’s hands trembled as if stuttering.

She had made up her mind a hundred times or more, but her hand wouldn’t budge.

Pulling back and pushing forward, it kept oscillating aimlessly in the air.

‘I’ll be the Executioner.’

At that moment, Kyle Allen’s voice echoed in her mind.

He had shown no care, just a calm expression when he said it.

‘So we’re killing together.’

That statement felt empowering to Vivian, enough to confuse her.

Gradually, her trembling subsided.

She wasn’t alone. Together.

Such a magical phrase that halved her guilt.

“Phew…”

Vivian steadied her mind.

– Squeek…

Then, she pressed the stamp down onto the wax.

The symbol of the Rondore Family was sealed onto the Death Sentence Document.

 

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