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Chapter 145. God, Please Forgive Me

—The feelings I direct towards Platy were described as “beautiful.”

Of all things, I couldn’t deny it immediately. Of course, there was no need to do so openly, but even in my heart…

I…

‘What are you sulking about now? You should have known that you were bound to that woman.’

After returning to the mansion, while feeling anguished in my room, Antendeixis spoke with a particularly teasing tone.

Sitting beside me on the bed, the demon god appeared like a phantom.

‘I thought you were aware of it already.’

‘…Aware of what?’

‘Of the close parent-child relationship, of course.’

His vividly colored eyes peered closely at me.

Close? …Don’t make me laugh. Sure, I pretended everything was fine on the outside.

Indeed, Platy is more understanding than most in the demon race, and she lets me do various things as I please. For that, I’m… thankful.

But she is still a demon. Moreover, she is a key figure of the Reiju Tribe, which consumes humans left and right within the Demon Lord’s Kingdom.

To have feelings for such a person…

That’s unforgivable.

And more than that, my mother! She’s the only one in the world!

Not some pretentious beauty like her, but someone cheerful, smiling, and simple—

Yet strong at heart, who would carry me while taking arrows from the Night Elves, running all night to protect me…!!

As I tried to picture my mother’s face—

I was dismayed.

I couldn’t remember.

‘What…?’

I could only vaguely recall an impression and outline… What was her hairstyle? What color were her eyes? What kind of expression did she have when she smiled…?

‘Ah…ah, ahhh…!!’

This can’t be true. It’s a lie, right? Why?

Why am I forgetting this?!! When I was reborn, I remembered a bit more clearly!!

I clenched my teeth, stared into the void, and desperately tried to remember.

But… the more I tried to dig up memories, the more it seemed to fade away…

‘Nothing strange about that.’

Watching me with pity, Antendeixis sighed softly.

‘By the time you met me, your soul was almost unrecognizable and hollow. Even having lingering feelings for your past life in that state is miraculous.’

It’s not that I forgot—Antendeixis conveyed.

‘Originally, your memories were close to being colorless and transparent, like a weathered painting. As vivid experiences in this life as Zilbagias get painted over, the relative thinness of those memories has only become more pronounced and begun to fade away…’

I was terrified by those words.

Then… no matter how much I try to remember.

Even if I strive to recall and retain the memories, eventually—

‘—They will further fade away. That’s all I can say.’

The colorful memories I have now…

Are ruthlessly covering my past memories—

Gently, a phantom hand touched my cheek.

‘But… no matter how much your memory fades, it doesn’t change that you had a previous life. You were Alexander, a hero of the human race.’

With a smile full of pity and affection, Antendeixis stroked my cheek.

…Yeah, that’s true.

Even if I’ve completely forgotten everything.

It doesn’t mean it was all a lie. That’s… the most important thing.

‘That said… it isn’t bad to have feelings for that woman as your mother in this life.’

‘Huh?’

In that candid tone, an instinctive surprised voice escaped me.

‘I understand that feeling is absurd as a hero of the human race to be bound to a demon. But that woman is your protector now and a good supporter. Wouldn’t it be healthier to acknowledge that and build a good relationship, rather than harboring deep-seated hatred?’

Antendeixis chuckled before adding with a serious expression.

‘Especially since there’s a relative with the ability to read emotions.’

…Indeed. That really chilled me.

Thanks to the kind of gratitude I now feel towards Platy—ah, I admit it, at this point—it’s even possible I managed to deceive Gorirashia.

‘That’s it. This is necessary. So, do continue to be a good parent-child duo. And—’

Have you forgotten?

Antendeixis whispered to me.

‘The more you strengthen your feelings for that woman—’

The more fruitful the results when you take action will be?

…A shiver ran down my spine.

Now, the demon god’s smile of pity and affection…

Maintained its outline but took on a grotesque hue.

‘It would be a delicacy…!! The greatest taboo shared across all cultures: patricide. I cannot even imagine how much power you could gain now!’

Hee, hee, hee, hee, he… a laughter that echoes from the depths of the earth.

The demon god embraced me. Twisting around me. Wrapping around like a snake, warm breath tickled my cheek.

‘—Remember. What is your goal?’

To defeat the Demon Lord, topple the Demon Lord’s Kingdom, and save humanity—

‘Then it is your responsibility to become strong enough to defeat the Demon Lord. That takes precedence above all else…!!’

Thus, the demon god laughed.

‘—I forgive you. Love and cherish her as much as you want.’

Those vividly colored, chaotic eyes…

Have captured my soul without release.

‘You don’t need to worry. Just continue to struggle and suffer. That will make you stronger.’

Contrary to the harshness of the words, his hand caressing my head was gentle.

Before I knew it, the demon god had vanished.

Antendeixis lingered within my soul.

I let out a small breath and straightened my posture.

The feelings of brooding had completely vanished.

Only a heart torn apart by intensifying emotions remained.

—Now, I must acknowledge.

As I gazed at the Holy Sword leaning against the wall, I murmured within my heart.

I—right now,

Surely love Platy as a mother.

 

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