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141st Chapter

Zigmund did not answer my question for quite a while after that. A dense silence engulfed the room.

A long, snowy-white hand removed the amethyst-embedded sword from my grasp. In the slow caress of his hands, and in the gaze that scrutinized me, a hint of regret lingered.

“You are too difficult for me.”

The labyrinth of the Minotaur without Ariadne’s thread. The Gordian knot that cannot be severed. I could give you all sorts of difficult names, yet it wouldn’t be enough.

I wondered if there would ever come a day when I could read the meaning in those deep violet eyes.

I quietly observed Zigmund’s strangely shining eyes, waiting for his answer.

“……I had to let go of all my attachments and lingering feelings. Even the memories and connections from my youth.”

After a long wait, the red words fell like heavy, clumsy sounds, as if confessing a sin long buried. I stared at him intently, waiting for his slow continuation.

“I felt that if I attended Karasho’s funeral, I would never forget her last appearance. If I were to see you again…”

This was my first time witnessing Zigmund, always relaxed and cool-headed, hesitate like this.

Looking down at the sword, Zigmund barely managed to continue his sentence in a voice that broke off intermittently as he looked up at me.

“I thought I would want to settle down here.”

His violet eyes sank endlessly.

A vague answer. Still, an unfriendly explanation.

I exhaled a deep sigh and pointed at the sword Zigmund held.

“Then why are you still holding onto that?”

He lowered his eyes.

“……Because I couldn’t throw it away.”

Zigmund still hadn’t explained why he had to let go of all attachments or why he shouldn’t settle down.

I was curious to the point of frustration, but I instinctively sensed that Zigmund would not say any more.

‘Is it lingering attachment?’

Everything leaves traces. Even a small wildflower leaves petals where it once flourished, so surely someone like Karasho would have left traces behind for Zigmund.

And traces unavoidably summon lingering feelings.

Having had to leave Karasho for some reason, it seemed Zigmund had not completely shed his lingering attachment.

“I was waiting for you. For a very long time.”

“But you never came, so I even wished I wouldn’t see you again. I figured when we met again, we wouldn’t be friends…”

“But you… came back broken. Even more ragged than before.”

I let out a faint, hollow laugh and met Zigmund’s gaze.

“What on earth have you been doing all this time, Zigmund?”

He bit his lip tightly. His mouth closed like a clam, and no answer came.

“……You said you’re the head of the guild here. So, you founded the guild a year after you left?”

Knowing that Zigmund would keep his mouth shut until he died if I tied him to a chair when he acted this way, I easily changed the subject.

Zigmund nodded.

“I had been planning to establish the Information Guild since I was with my master. He knew about it as well.”

“Really? But why didn’t I know?”

When I unconsciously asked back about Karasho knowing, Zigmund closed his mouth seriously and looked at the floor.

Because of his distinctly outstanding appearance, it almost seemed like he was deeply contemplating the world’s safety, but I understood that this was Zigmund’s way of avoiding eye contact when he had nothing to say.

Today, I learned for the first time that he was the head of the Information Guild, and I twisted my lips into a smirk.

“You bastard, did you only not tell me back then?”

“……I thought you wouldn’t really care.”

Zigmund defended himself while looking out the empty window with a gaze that seemed to carry many stories. I silently ground my teeth.

‘No way are you not going to tell me…!’

Now it was an ambiguous relationship I couldn’t quite call a friend or an enemy, but back then, we were at least somewhat of rivals. Even though our only New Year’s wish was to eliminate each other and become Karasho’s sole disciple, we had been friends. It should have been a given to inform me of the big news of founding the Information Guild.

I convinced myself that the emotion I felt wasn’t disappointment, making my expression a bit sour as I stubbornly leaned my chin on my hands. I felt an urge to act a bit spiteful.

“What’s the guild name ‘Hide & Seek’? Was it created with a sound mind? Anyone passing by would think it’s a misspelled sign.”

“My master personally named it.”

“……It sounds like he got inspired when he was possessed and out of his mind. While it gives off a rebellious feeling like a typo, I think the symmetry of the four characters divided by the symbol in the middle is remarkably balanced. I might want to engrave it on my gravestone later.”

I straightened up from my slouched position and removed my chin from my hands, placing both of them on my knees. What had seemed absurd just moments ago felt magnificent all of a sudden.

Zigmund, looking at me as if I were ridiculous, I averted my gaze sideways and opened my mouth.

“But… what on earth was the intention behind that name?”

Since Karasho named it, I felt it had to be fine, but it was a name I could not comprehend, so I subtly inquired. Zigmund paused for a moment before shaking his head.

“I don’t know either.”

“I see…

It was an unsatisfactory answer, but I accepted it for now. I put aside my thoughts on the name and stroked my chin.

‘If Zigmund is the head of the Information Guild, then I understand his connection with the Cypros family. It’s obvious that Zigmund being Cypros’s subordinate is a lie. Somehow, Zigmund is likely supplying information to Cypros for a commission. Or maybe they have joined forces for some obscure reason.’

It was purely conjecture, but not an impossible hypothesis.

Lost in thought, I suddenly recalled the terror once more, organizing my sinking feelings and raising my eyes to meet Zigmund’s.

I wanted to ask about the fairy and why it had been in our house, what he had been looking for, and whether he would return it if asked.

But intuitively, I knew he would not answer about that, so I set it aside and asked the most curious question.

“What do you want with me?”

The deep violet enveloped me quietly. I met his eerily emotionless gaze head-on.

“If you wanted to forget me and Karasho, then you shouldn’t have appeared before me again.”

At my determined words, Zigmund’s pupils flickered for a moment.

I carefully observed Zigmund’s reaction.

Zigmund was a person whose poker face was so thick it felt impossible to read, but I had once shared life and death with him.

Even if I couldn’t grasp every emotion distinctly, I could still notice when he felt strong emotions or became visibly disturbed.

‘Then, let’s provoke him.’

There was only one way to melt the ice solidly frozen: to set fire to it.

“I know you well. You’re a wickedly cold-blooded person, one who knows no affection. You can’t have simply come because you want to see me again.”

“The first meeting… sure, let’s call it a coincidence. Since we met in front of your guild, it might have been my blunder.

The second encounter was also a coincidence since you happened to meet while trying to steal what you wanted. But your actions on the day of the terror don’t make sense.”

The first meeting was more like I had invaded Zigmund’s territory, while the second was an accidental meeting since he unknowingly stepped into mine, so I could call them coincidences.

“Why did you help me stop the terror?”

However, the third encounter was anything but coincidental.

I leaned closer, narrowing the distance between Zigmund and me.

“I already know that the culprit behind the terror is Cypros. You said you were his henchman. You wouldn’t fall under anyone, so you can’t be a henchman, but it is clear that you are allied with Cypros. There’s no way you would help me for no reason.”

Zigmund, allied with Cypros, is trying to stop the terror that Cypros initiated?

It was a situation that simply didn’t make sense. I believed he wouldn’t act based on emotion or impulse.

“You mentioned your master, but I can’t believe that’s all there is to it. You, who called Karasho nothing more than a mercenary.”

“I…”

“Right. Let’s say you helped me stop the terror for some unknown reason. Really… let me believe it was because of Karasho. But still, I don’t understand you.”

I gazed at Zigmund with the coldest eyes, trying to keep my words sharp. In the midst of it, I sensed his agitation.

“Why did you catch me when I was falling? Why did you hold me while I was anxious? Why did you summon me here when I came for a simple request? And why are you answering my questions? If you truly wanted to end everything with me, you shouldn’t have said that you’d be the biggest bastard of my life that day. You should have become a nobody and never shown your face again. Rather than hurling a dagger at me while standing in front of the guild, you should have just walked past without acknowledging me.”

To say you would throw something away means you cannot. When you truly want to discard something, silence reigns.

If Zigmund genuinely wished to sever his ties with me, he shouldn’t have spoken to me. Rather than claiming he’d remain a bastard, he should have kept quiet.

Watching Zigmund’s poker face start to crack, I exhaled.

‘How foolish, Kashmir. You still can’t let go of those trivial feelings and foolish desires.’

I vividly recalled Zigmund mocking me during our first reunion. I mimicked his tone and expressions from that moment.

“You can’t let go of trivial feelings and foolish desires; that’s you, Zigmund.”

With those words, Zigmund’s poker face shattered.

“Ha, hahaha!”

Covering his mouth with his hand, Zigmund, who had silently gazed at me, suddenly burst into loud laughter.

I knew that when Zigmund’s poker face crumbled, he would laugh to hide his true feelings, so I concentrated on decoding him amidst his laughter.

“You know nothing, Kashmir.

My name. Just a mere name anyone could call. It’s strange. When it rolls off Zigmund’s tongue, it feels like a magical incantation, thick and sinister.

I gazed at his murky violet eyes filled with a mix of emotions. Now he revealed a hint of his mood, but the colors were so intertwined that only black remained in his eyes, which I couldn’t read.

It only appeared that he was boiling beneath the surface he always wore like ice.

“Right. I know nothing because you don’t say anything.”

I countered boldly, making sure not to shy away from those eyes.

I had no way of knowing. If you don’t speak, one can’t know. It wouldn’t be surprising if I claimed to know nothing about Zigmund.

However, my thoughts were clear.

I didn’t want to end this ambiguous relationship with all the unknown prickly leftovers it had left behind.

“So tell me, Zigmund. How do you think of me, and what do you want from me moving forward? In your annoying way, you can cut out the troublesome parts and just say it. Just tell me.”

Throwing questions into the silence had grown tiresome. I wanted to hear answers now.

At my definitive statement, Zigmund slowly drew in a breath.

To others, it might seem he was simply thinking coolly, but in my eyes, his agitation was laid bare.

He was like a dam that seemed ready to burst with water at any moment, and I quietly waited.

“……I’ve almost forgotten about Karasho now.”

After a long wait, Zigmund’s lips parted. Unlike his usual sweet voice, it sounded very dry.

“My life has been a graveyard, and I’ve buried many already. To me, Karasho is just one more name among countless graves, and I’ve nearly shaken off all my affection and lingering ties for her…

Was the eternally frozen sheet of ice melting? Zigmund’s face grew damp. Despite his pure white skin showing no trace of tears, he looked to me as if he were crying.

“You are incredibly persistent. You remain the one thing that has stubbornly survived within me. Still.”

His low voice had a threatening growl. Feeling a jolt to my spine, as if I stood before a wild beast, I bent forward, directing all my attention toward Zigmund.

“Do you still not understand?”

Zigmund slowly raised his head, which had been bowed down.

The scent of snow enveloped my senses. The atmosphere grew heavy, as if it were crushing the air—

“You are the only lingering feeling I have left in this damned place, Kashmir.”

Ah, Zigmund was indeed a person resembling a fierce storm in the dead of winter.

Only lingering feelings. Those words fell heavily, like a weight. Emotions unnamable wrapped around me, and my responses evaporated like high-proof alcohol.

Before my speechless self, Zigmund roughly washed his face as if he wanted to peel off his own skin.

“If it weren’t for you, I could have truly been free…”

Zigmund trailed off. He roughly swept his hair back, turning his fierce eyes toward me.

“I really hate you, Kashmir.”

From the violet chains binding me, I saw bloodthirsty madness and abhorrent hatred.

 

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