Everything fades away into a white world.

Was my frozen body melting, or had it shattered? Or would it remain eternally encased in ice? The true outcome of my abandoned body didn’t matter at all to my current self.

The one thing I clearly understood was this:

I had endlessly witnessed gruesome endings, time and time again, and with every repetition, I only worsened the situation until I finally ruined what I had desperately wanted to protect. It was then that I realized—

Natsuki Subaru was not expected by anyone, not even by himself.

※※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

The sudden return of the five senses I thought I had lost was something I could never get used to, no matter how many times I experienced it.

The cold seeped deep into my body, so much so that I lost even the perception of cold. It felt as if I was sinking deeper and deeper into the white darkness, an overwhelming sense of loss enveloping me.

But just as abruptly, that sensation of losing everything cleared up, and after a blink, everything was back to normal.

Blood circulated in my previously tortured limbs, and the nerves that had been completely compromised felt normal again as if pain had been forgotten. The skin-stabbing cold had vanished, and the sunlight, if I didn’t roll up my sleeves, was pleasantly warm.

“——”

“——!”

“——aa”

Sounds, once dead, now assaulted my ears from everywhere in the bustling crowd as if they demanded my hearing’s merciless return to duty.

Processing this nonsensical noise, Subaru confirmed the movements of his own limbs. His two arms, once pinned down, and right leg that resembled a porcupine were all intact, as was his left foot, which had exploded during a stake-driving accident. Firmly planting his feet on the ground, his fists were tightly clenched, strong as ever.

Everything was back to normal. The control over my lost body returned, and Subaru felt relief wash over him.

But more than anything—

“Subaru-kun, what’s wrong? You seem lost in thought.”

Looking over the counter was a blue-haired girl, tilting her head in worry as she watched him.

Having been abandoned by everything, pummeled by a crushing sense of powerlessness, a self-inflicted sense of disappointment and loss, he had returned helplessly to this world.

“Rem.”

“Yes, I’m your Rem, Subaru-kun! …What’s wrong?”

Responding briefly to her call, Rem stepped through the counter and approached Subaru. She extended her hand to his face, her fingers brushing against his cheek.

With a worried expression, Rem furrowed her brows, her graceful face showing concern as she said,

“I’m sorry for not noticing. You must be exhausted. To forget your duties and immerse yourself in other thoughts, that’s not what a maid should do.”

“I’m tired… Ah, yeah… I guess that’s true.”

Subaru lifted Rem’s hand from his cheek and covered it with his own from above. Surprised, Rem raised her eyebrows, but kept her gaze steady on Subaru’s exhausted expression and voice, deciding to hold her words for now.

Not even glancing at the way she seemed like she wanted to say something, Subaru clung to the reality of Rem’s presence in his palm—her warmth became something he couldn’t afford to lose.

“I dropped it, it got worn down… and I’m just worn out, huh.”

Still, the Rem he thought he had lost was here, without a doubt.

“—Subaru-kun?”

Determined now, Subaru resolved not to let go of what was right before him.

※※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

Quickly passing through the bustling crowd, he descended the gentle slope.

A dragon carriage passed closely, raising dust that made him wrinkle his nose, but Subaru’s gaze stayed straight ahead. He had a destination, and there was no hesitation in his steps.

Now that he thought about it, throughout the repetitive days he had endured, Subaru had been lost at every turn.

Confused about his own existence, lost in Emilia’s heart, uncertain of his purpose, conflicted about what he should be doing to grasp the best possible future, tangled in a whirl of madness, lost in the realm between life and death, and further still, a lost soul who had stumbled into another world.

Yet, just as Subaru had once struggled to find a proper way to walk, now he pressed forward with an unparalleled clarity of purpose.

He finally understood.

The loops he experienced, the repeated days, they were not in vain.

The reality of the third world, the events that had chased Subaru physically and mentally to a genuine limit, had clearly taught him that.

What Subaru could do.

What Subaru should do.

“—kun!”

With eyes cleared of doubt, his focus was fixed on his goal, his feet kicked the ground with newfound strength.

He felt light. All the burdens weighing down his heart had vanished, and now Subaru feared nothing.

“Subaru-kun, listen to me!”

Pulling on his arm, they moved toward the Main Street—one of the widest avenues in the Royal Capital. Weaving through throngs of people, they pressed on against the flow.

Approaching a familiar path, Subaru felt his momentum increase. His eager heart reflected in his breath, his stride exuding excitement.

Suddenly stepping into a shadow, Subaru looked up at the source of the shade.

Above, the towering walls encircling the Royal Capital loomed, along with the gate that connected the inside and outside, inscribed with unreadable letters—a combination of “Alphabets” and “Romaji,” which he had learned said “Royal Capital Lugunica.”

In other words, Subaru—no, the appearance of the two of them was now before the main gate of the Royal Capital.

“—Subaru-kun!”

His stride faltered as Rem forcefully pulled away his grasp. Once that connection was broken, even Subaru had no choice but to stop.

Standing still, he turned to see Rem looking at him, her eyes swirling with confusion.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Please explain…!”

Gently placing her left hand over the right arm he was holding, Rem made herself appear a bit smaller, her plea evident in her words.

Hearing her inquiry, Subaru felt her concerns were more than justified. From her perspective, she had been dragged to this moment without any explanation for such a sudden change in Subaru.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Rem. I’ve been feeling urged to hurry for a lot of reasons. There’s been quite a bit to think about, and I ended up skipping the explanation. My bad.”

“Please don’t. I understand you’re worried about various things, but still, you need to say something. …I don’t dislike being pulled along, but…”

Placing both hands on his cheeks, Rem flushed slightly as she let out a sigh of relief.

Hearing the inflection and calm returning to Subaru’s voice, she seemed to conclude that his earlier peculiar behavior had been a simple misunderstanding.

Indeed, looking at Rem’s relief, it made sense why she might feel that way.

For Rem, who had only briefly experienced the “seconds” following Subaru’s return from “death,” witnessing that change was undoubtedly dramatic.

In truth, there existed a gulf between the “seconds” Rem had experienced and the “days” Subaru had faced.

Moreover, Subaru had stacked those “days” three times over, shaping his current self. And upon calmly reflecting, he recognized how unreasonable and overwhelming the emotions he had harbored during that time had been.

He had embarrassed himself before Emilia during the Royal Selection, been half-killed by Julius at the training grounds, created a fatal rift with Emilia, and lost all sense of purpose in the Royal Capital.

Spending aimlessly at Crusch’s mansion, he had endlessly searched for answers to what he could do and what he had to do.

Then abruptly, Subaru’s confusion lifted within the blink of an eye. For Rem, it would have felt like a bolt from the blue.

“I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m okay now. I feel as if I’ve shown nothing but ugly sides of myself, but now I finally understand.”

“No, it’s not a burden for me to think about you, Subaru-kun. …You finally figured it out, huh?”

With eyes now clear of any doubts, Subaru spoke, and Rem responded in a chirpy tone.

Having such a back-and-forth again was genuinely refreshing, and Subaru couldn’t hide his small joy.

Then, following Rem’s inquiry, he nodded, saying, “Ah, I get it.”

“I’ve been a mess, wandering aimlessly, troubling so many folks along the way, and I feel honestly terrible about it. But at last, I’ve found a way to settle things down. Well, thinking back, I should have seen it from the start and earlier had it told to me… I’m just stubborn, that’s all.”

“That’s what I think is wonderful about you, Subaru-kun…”

Caught off-guard by Rem’s ambiguous remark, Subaru chuckled wryly.

Then he gazed up into the sky, pouring the vastness and height of it into his eyes. For the world that had always looked down on him, it must have been a frustrating time indeed.

But now, that heartbreaking time could finally come to an end.

The answer had been right there in front of him all along.

No matter where Subaru headed or what reckless challenges he faced, no matter how foolish his choices may be, there was always someone behind him, following him without complaint.

That someone was Rem.

“I’ve decided, Rem.”

Peering straight into the eyes of the girl standing just a hand’s reach away.

Her blue hair fluttered with the wind, reflecting Subaru’s image in her transparent hazel eyes.

The black apron dress encasing her petite form lacked unnecessary embellishments, embodying her noble nature. The blue hair atop her head was graced with white ribbons, accentuating her cute features.

“Yes, Subaru-kun!”

Her pink lips stretched into a smile, her narrowed eyes drawing graceful arcs.

The sweetness of her voice threatened to melt his brain, enveloping Subaru, who attempted to utter a single word.

“First, let’s borrow a dragon carriage. It might be a bit busy due to the royal selection commotion, but we should still be good if we go after noon tomorrow. There should be a bit more availability now.”

He needed a fast, strong one.

They had to keep running. They needed something agile enough to run without rest, day or night.

“A dragon carriage…?”

Tilting her head slightly, Rem repeated the word Subaru had just mentioned.

Confusion danced in her eyes, evidently unable to see where Subaru’s rapidly moving thoughts would lead.

But Subaru’s gaze brushed past her bewilderment as he pointed toward the gate.

“Choosing a dragon carriage might take time, so with any spare moments, it would be good to stock up on food and supplies. Ah, by the way, I’m not fond of those crumbly types of portable rations either. I’d rather just stick to water than eat those.”

Back in his original world, there had been classes where they tried out preserved foods and portable rations under the guise of experiential learning. Regrettably, Subaru’s evaluations had to be “no” for both.

Given how developed flavoring was in his previous world, he had little faith in the taste of preserved foods in this world.

“Well, then again, maybe with magic, the preserved food might actually taste good…!? After all, they could produce mayonnaise. I suppose it’s possible there’s a spirit of ‘try before you throw’ kicking around…”

“Um, Subaru-kun?”

“Ah, sorry! I kinda veered off into strange thoughts there. What’s up?”

Correcting himself after straying off-topic, Subaru offered Rem a gentle smile, leaning slightly to meet her gaze.

Faced with his attentive demeanor, Rem fell silent for just a moment, then shakingly said—

“Um, I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m not good at picking up hints, so I’m not following what you’re planning. What exactly are you…?”

“Ah! Right! My bad! I didn’t notice at all! I thought I was already laying out what we were going to do. This is embarrassing!”

Clapping his knees, Subaru chuckled to himself at his blunder.

After laughing off that slip for a moment, he continued,

“I’ve learned a lot and come to terms with some things, and through all sorts of happenings, here I am now. But I’d figured this answer out long ago.”

A rueful smile emerged, revealing his inner turmoil.

He had swallowed grief. He had cried over the injustice and impermanence, smeared in the blood of himself and others, left to rot on the ground.

Yet, having come to understand all of that clearly now felt good.

“Rem.”

Calling her name, Subaru slowly stretched out his hand.

Seeing the offered hand, Rem awaited Subaru’s next words. Matching her posture, he placed the rising emotions on his tongue—

“Let’s escape together. No matter where to.”

He clearly announced his intent to surrender to fate.

※※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

“… Huh?”

It seemed Rem didn’t understand the meaning behind his words, as only a hoarse breath escaped her lips.

Thinking her response was quite natural, Subaru shook his head.

“I’m leaving the Royal Capital and heading west… or maybe north. They say I can’t enter the Southern Empire, so those are my only options. I’m not fond of the cold, so personally, I’d prefer the west.”

“Um, no, I mean…”

“Honestly, I’m vague on the distance and it seems like I’m jumping the gun, so I don’t think it’ll be an easy journey. But wait, what should we do if we don’t have a way to return the dragon carriage? Should we buy it instead of just renting it?”

He considered it to be a type of rental system, but since he hadn’t reached the age to get a driver’s license, anything regarding the details eluded him. Furthermore, he hadn’t been present during the scene where Rem had borrowed the dragon carriage, so he had no clue what kind of paperwork might be involved.

The shop wouldn’t just assume the possibility of someone running away with their carriage, so there must be some reasonable conditions involved.

“W-wait, please!”

As Subaru continued deep in thought, Rem called out urgently.

With her palm facing him, she wore an unusual expression of impatience and concern.

“What do you mean by ‘run away’? The way you said it makes it sound as if you’re planning to leave the country of Lugunica…”

With her doubts barely hidden in her tone, Rem suddenly had a small realization, her expression lighting up with hope.

“Could it be that you’ve thought of something amazing again? Something that would help Emilia-sama and Roswaal-sama…?”

“There’s none of that, Rem.”

“Eh—”

As if desperately wishing that Subaru’s words held some truth, Rem painted a picture of a bright future with eager eyes.

However, Subaru quietly shook his head and clearly denied her assumption.

“I told you, I’m fleeing. Staying in the Royal Capital is pointless; I can’t do anything here. And even if I went back to the mansion, my helplessness wouldn’t change. —That’s what I figured out.”

His impotence, emptiness, and the world’s absurdity weighed heavily on Subaru’s body.

Yet, the more he tried to deny it, the confines of that truth only tightened their grip. But accepting it as an unmovable fact brought him a certain lightness.

“So, let’s escape together, Rem. We can’t stay here. Everyone keeps telling me that. I’ve desperately tried to deny it, but… yeah, it’s true. I was weak. No one needed me at all.”

He realized he had been conceited.

He had been mistaken. He had misjudged everything and got carried away.

After falling into this other world and being given a little chance to rewrite his fate, I had foolishly believed that miraculously saving someone twice made me special.

Yet he didn’t possess the strength, compassion, or qualifications to save anyone.

“That’s… not true.”

“There’s no denying it. I was told clearly. —I’ve been told all along.”

That he was unwanted.

In the first world, Subaru had ignored Emilia’s wishes and bolted from Crusch’s mansion. He hadn’t listened to Rem’s pleas. The result was catastrophic.

In the second world, he hadn’t settled the debts created by that ensuing calamity, and in a futile escape, he caused Rem to lose her life, unable to save anyone again.

The third world produced nothing short of the worst outcomes. In this world, he had involved merchants on the road, watched Rem be devoured by the White Whale, and himself brought Emilia’s demise. The Witch Cult might have been exterminated by Pack, but if after Subaru’s death Creole’s wrath was unleashed on the nation, then the damage would be unfathomable.

If he wanted to go further back to before all this, there was the Royal Selection—at that very moment, he couldn’t help Emilia in the slightest.

He couldn’t even stand beside her; he had instead poked his nose into her business, only to be crushed by another candidate’s knight. In the end, he even had a falling out with Emilia, uttering hurtful words he had never intended to throw her way.

“… Haah.”

A dry laugh escaped his throat.

Looking back, it was a masterpiece of disaster. Reflecting on his actions, thoughts, and his calamity, he clearly felt the disaster that had been in him.

Want to help Emilia? He had felt that he could save someone? Surely if he wasn’t there, everyone would fall apart?

What a delusion. What a misunderstanding. Oh, what arrogance it was.

What Subaru had accomplished had only sullied Emilia’s standing, profoundly betrayed her heart that thought of him, and caused Rem to die each time.

Surely everyone knew this would happen.

That’s why everyone kept saying for him to settle down. Do nothing. That he was unnecessary, to just disappear instead.

The folks around him knew far better what the future held. They must have seen the truth while he himself remained ignorant, unable to comprehend.

Could it be that they were the ones repeating this over and over?

“If not, who’d be so miserable as to show themselves, just like me?”

He was pitiful. To such a degree, he found nothing but pity for himself.

The fool takes on their role, preparing to be laughed at by others. However, Subaru, unaware he was being pointed at and ridiculed, was not even a clown—merely a hapless fool.

“That’s why I’ve decided to disappear. That should be enough. I ought to be okay. No matter what I do, it’ll merely result in more corpses… possibly even more.”

Another corpse, another corpse, another corpse, another corpse, another corpse.

A corpse of some stranger. A corpse of someone he knew. A corpse of someone precious. A corpse of someone important. A corpse of someone he trusted. A corpse of someone he wished to trust. —A corpse of someone cherished.

He was utterly fed up.

Why did he have to suffer like this? After enduring so much pain, shouldn’t he be compensated? Subaru understood that the belief that effort always paid off or that all goals could be met by determination was mere fantasy.

But despite that, was it wrong to wish even for the slightest chance to avoid the worst?

“Let’s escape, Rem. Neither of us should stay here… in this country.”

Casting everything aside, looking down on every aspect, Subaru committed to his escape.

And surprising everyone with this decision many would scorn, he wanted to take with him only one person in front of him—Rem.

There was something he couldn’t let go of, even when trying to cast everything else away.

Loneliness was frightening. Loneliness was terrifying. In this vast world, within the unknowing darkness, knowing that this was the right path made it all the more frightening to abandon security and run alone.

So, he had hoped that she alone, Rem alone, would come with him.

In these repetitive days, she was the one who had always remained beside Subaru. She bore witness to all of his accursed moments, all the pitiful behavior, and all his misguided ways of living.

Because it was her, he believed she was worth one final gamble.

In the cycles he had lived, he had caused Rem to die three times in every world.

To keep her alive, he could not return to the mansion. Even reaching it, or on the way, would lead to her brutal demise.

Then, was it okay to keep her in the Royal Capital? No, that wouldn’t work either. Even if they spent time there, once word traveled of the mischief at Roswaal’s mansion to Crusch’s estate, she would rush out of the Capital to save her territory.

And surely, once she made that move, stopping her would be beyond Subaru’s capacity. He would remain behind at Crusch’s estate, hearing the tale after everything concluded.

Then, he would end up losing everything, picturing himself empty and hollow.

To save Rem, she couldn’t know anything.

If he truly wanted to save Rem, he couldn’t remain here.

“If you were to say something like that all of a sudden, then Rem…”

Despite Subaru’s earnest plea, Rem shook her head slightly.

It appeared to be a motion of denial, yet truthfully, it revealed her inner turmoil.

What Subaru said was simply too sudden for her to process. More than anything, the information he had provided was far too scant for her decision-making.

How could she agree to something as sudden as abandoning everything to escape?

However, although she understood this absurdity, Subaru had to ensure that Rem accepted.

At that moment, he could no longer gauge how much information could be conveyed.

No matter what he spoke of, he felt it might provoke the Witch’s curse.

Any action taken felt like it might become the collateral of his unfair fate.

He was trapped. Blocked from all paths. Confined in a cul-de-sac of fate.

Thus, all Subaru could do was plead. He implored her, reaching out to her conscience. Though he understood it was cowardly in the greatest sense, using her dependence on him was unavoidable.

“I’m running out of time. I truly feel bad for the suddenness of all this. I really do, I feel it deeply from my heart. …So, please choose.”

“Choose…?”

“Choose me, or choose someone else… please choose.”

Given how little information he was providing, it was cowardly to force such a choice given the situation.

Yet, it was a reality that she was not allowed the time to consider slowly. Subaru couldn’t deny that he was taking advantage of the situation for his own good.

In a situation where thinking time was limited, with Subaru pleading right before her, he placed faith in how Rem would choose.

There was a chance. However slight, he entertained the hope that Rem, of anyone, could accept Subaru’s downfall and retreat.

“Let’s secure a dragon carriage, and head west. Exiting Lugunica, all the way west… to Kararagi? There, we could buy a small house and live together.”

Quickly, Subaru began to describe the future he envisioned.

It was simple and peaceful—a future that, without any absurdities or cruelties, would certainly unfold.

“I know touching the funds might be unfair to Roswaal, but we could just consider it a temporary loan, and repay it someday. If we can set a plan in motion, I’ll show that I can properly work. …Even though I’ve never done any work before, I’m sure it will be fine.”

Having dropped out of high school and spent time cooped up at home, he was the very definition of an indoor kid, and had never even held a part-time job. Work at the estate was no more than child’s play for him.

Surely landing a proper job would be incredibly difficult, yet compared to pain, struggle, or dying, it would be effortless.

The more he thought about it, the more the future opened up before him.

As he wrestled and struggled for only one future, drawing towards the worst calamity he had unknowingly invited, how truly happy this present felt.

“Even if it’s modest, with you by my side, I promise I can do my best. Just knowing someone is waiting at home, smiling, no matter how tired I may be, thinking about how Rem will be waiting makes me…”

No matter how many people they would be leaving behind as they fled, he believed that as long as Rem was by his side, he could definitely endure anything.

So, he begged—no other wish remained.

“Choose me…!”

Squeezing his hand out, he implored.

“If you choose me, I’ll dedicate everything to you. My whole life is yours. I will devote myself to you, to live wholly for your sake… so…”

He couldn’t look at Rem’s face standing before him now.

He didn’t have the courage to see the expression on her face. He lacked even a sliver of fortitude. If he had any, he believed they would surely face a far different conclusion.

Within this cowardice, treachery, and shame, he had nothing left.

“Let’s escape together… let’s live, together…”

He could only truly wish that she wouldn’t die.

In a dry, crackling voice, he poured out his feelings, while the rapid thud of his heart echoed in his chest, each breath coming harder.

The exhaustion of running at full speed collided with the deeply pounded breaks of his mental weariness, collapsing upon Subaru. And all the while, their silent time weighed down on him heavily.

There was no response from Rem.

The noises of the crowd now felt distant, and how the public viewed the two of them sharing such a conversation bore no meaning within this moment.

Unable to bear it any longer, Subaru barely opened his tightly shut eyes to observe Rem’s expression.

Perhaps there lay the answer he so feared to see.

“——”

Unaware she was being watched, Rem was silently pursing her lips.

Her expression seemed to strive for neutrality, yet tension slightly creased the space between her brows and at the corners of her eyes, betraying her struggle for composure.

Subaru recognized the turmoil, hesitation, and jitters swirling within her.

The words Subaru had just spoken shook Rem’s heart intensely.

The silence stretched on.

Each second felt eternal, lighting a burning sense of urgency pressing on Subaru’s back.

But eventually, that tense time drew to a close.

“—Subaru-kun.”

Gently, the soft and tender voice called out his name.

In that moment, hearing her tone, hearing the tremble, Subaru was assured his plea reached her.

She would accept him. She would forgive Subaru’s weakness, embracing the whole of Natsuki Subaru.

An overwhelming wave of emotion surged within him. It was the first time he felt he could be repaid.

Then Subaru looked up and found the daring decision he had longed for.

“Rem cannot run away with Subaru-kun.”

A deep sadness filled Rem’s face as she clearly rejected his wish.

“Because…”

“——”

“Future talks must be shared with smiles, you know?”

With an expression teetering between laughter and sorrow, Rem spoke the very words Subaru once said to her.