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Day 2 in Alvheim.

Waking up in the morning, I felt extremely uncomfortable. Why did they have to gather so snugly around me, even with an empty bed beside me?

Having a harem is a lot more uncomfortable in reality than it sounds. I stretched my upper body and basked in the dazzling light streaming through the window. My body felt refreshed, as if the forest was revitalizing me. Maybe it was because I had a refreshing escape yesterday.

-Bang!

As I was stretching, a loud noise suddenly echoed from the room across. What on earth is going on so early in the morning?

“What was that?!”

“Is it an attack?”

“Yikes…!”

The three who were just sleeping shot up in response to the commotion. Perhaps still half-asleep, their minds didn’t seem to be functioning properly.

“Who would launch an attack in the morning?”

Everyone nodded, murmuring “Ah…” in agreement with my logical conclusion. Luna and Riche, lost in thought, suddenly recalled something.

“I’m pretty sure the room across…”

I briefly reminisced about the previous day. The loud, red-haired man. The one who went into our neighboring room.

Right, that room was the one with the toilet. Riche sighed dramatically, almost annoyed.

“Let’s just go check what’s going on.”

Without waiting for the trio to get dressed, I opened the door first. There was no need to go out into the hallway; I’d see everything just by opening the door since it led to the room right across.

As soon as I opened the door, my eyes fell upon elves drawing back their bows, all aimed at the toilet, who was surrounded.

Peeking out into the hallway, I noticed Tia and Stella, similarly startled and unsure of what to do, having been awakened by the noise.

Of course, Luna, Yui, and Riche, preparing behind me, could also see the scene. The three hesitantly approached, also taking in the strange tableau. All I needed to do was listen to the elves’ conversation with the toilet to figure out what was happening.

“You have committed an unforgivable crime! Normally, this would result in immediate execution, but by the mercy of Yggdrasil, you are being detained until the suppression of the Volcano Dragon!”

This was already turning into quite the entertaining situation. The toilet, realizing he might actually be imprisoned, protested desperately.

“What are you talking about?!”

“It’s no use pretending!”

“I swear I didn’t do anything! Who’s crazy enough to do that to a tree?!”

“You scoundrel! Not only have you committed theft and terrorism, but also insulted our god!”

The elves’ bows tensed even further, the palpable tension reaching me from where I stood. It seemed like a fight could break out any moment. Sensing death closing in, the toilet quickly racked his brain.

“R-Right! We can just ask the World Tree! It must have seen who the culprit was before anything happened!”

“The scene Yggdrasil witnessed clearly showed your face!”

“Uh… what?”

The toilet was probably flooded with confusion. Was Yggdrasil just messing with him? He hadn’t done anything, yet it was claiming he had.

“Theft, terrorism… and now you’ve stooped so low as to commit rape.”

In truth, perhaps he should be the one to worry about himself. While others could clearly see their futures, he seemingly couldn’t foresee his own.

“But that’s besides the point.”

Bravo to our protagonist! This is rightful justice for the toilet! Thanks to this, I could confirm that novels are merely stories. When I glanced back, Luna and Riche looked at me with bleary eyes.

“What are you looking at?”

“Are you aware you’re smiling right now?”

Am I? When I touched my mouth, I realized I indeed was smiling. But what was I supposed to do when this was so amusing?

“By the way, about that time I stepped out last night…”

“Oh, come on, what are you talking about? I really did step out to take care of some business.”

There’s no bathroom here, right? I simply went to relieve myself. It just took a little longer. Though I said this, the looks on Luna and Riche’s faces suggested they weren’t buying it.

Moments later, the toilet was dragged away, bound by rope and pulled by the elves. He didn’t even get to unsheathe a sword while bearing such a false accusation. No wonder I despise the idea of being the protagonist.

“Ah, what a peaceful morning. Don’t you think?”

“…”

*

The fact that they were taking the toilet away was no longer of interest to me. Tia and Stella had followed, and they seemed rather flustered by the toilet’s imprisonment. But that was none of our concern. I felt good knowing we wouldn’t have to deal with him for the next few days.

Sitting on a bench outside the lodging, I absently bit into some bread. Normally, this would be around the time to have breakfast, but I figured it’d just be more grass to munch on, so I chose not to go.

It wasn’t just me who didn’t go; Luna, Yui, and Riche didn’t either. No matter how much someone claims they won’t be picky, nobody can survive on grass alone. So, we all made sandwiches with meat stuffed in the bread.

“Everyone seems busy.”

Luna said with her mouth full of bread next to me.

“Can’t be helped.”

They weren’t just making empty promises about hunting the Volcano Dragon. Starting from the second day, the elves moved in perfect unison with no one slacking off. They seemed to be working so hard that we struggling to relax felt guilty.

But since Yggdrasil told us to take it easy, I would do just that.

“I wonder how much we could sell those potions for.”

I glanced at the box filled with clinking potions, licking my lips. As I mentioned before, potions weren’t cheap, but considering so many had been made, it seemed they’d been planning the Volcano Dragon hunt for a while.

Aside from that, there were many intriguing items the elves were transporting.

Among them, two elves carried a massive bow. It was huge enough to remind me of my greatsword, likely a weapon used by elves who lacked cannons.

“How on earth do they shoot such a massive bow?”

“Who knows? But I doubt they just pick it up and shoot.”

To be honest, it looked impossible to shoot by hand. The size alone was bigger and thicker than the elves holding it. They probably fixed the bowstand on the ground and just pulled the string back to use it.

The string itself looked thick enough that it seemed like drawing it would require considerable strength. I wondered if the kind of Great Warrior we’d seen yesterday could infuse magical power into it and make it stronger than any cannon.

“If we’re curious, we can just see it in a few days.”

“True… I guess so.”

Since the raid isn’t far off, we’d have to wait until then to see it. Who knows, something might happen that would let us see it sooner.

“Still… I can’t wrap my head around the fact that we came to hunt an S-Rank Monster.”

“I think the same.”

“Me too…”

With Riche’s casual admission, Luna and Yui both nodded in agreement. We’d been dragged into Alvheim after running into elves overnight.

Moreover, the target of the hunt was not just any A-Rank monster but an S-Rank disaster monster. Even with Yggdrasil on our side, we could hardly avoid the tension. Especially for Luna and Yui, who recently saw the desert back in the Marquis Territory.

“Don’t you have any information on it?”

“Am I an encyclopedia?”

“You have more information than an encyclopedia.”

“Does that mean I’m smarter than one?”

“In a way?”

Luna and Yui would have fallen silent, but due to Riche’s character, she was bound to agree with whatever I said, even if I claimed I could turn dung into gold. Is that pushing it a bit?

“But do you think knowing will actually change anything?”

Of course, since I’ve seen the World Tree episode before, I have some knowledge about the Volcano Dragon. But unlike Arthur from later on or me currently, even if they knew something, it wouldn’t matter much for their capabilities.

“Still, knowing is better than not knowing.”

“Whether I know or not, it’s probably the same.”

“Is it really that trivial…?”

“Of course.”

A monster that leaves giant craters with every step, how would knowing help? The size of the Volcano Dragon I saw when I went to take a look at the seal the other day reminded me of a massive mountain hundreds of meters tall.

Even if we knew about the volcanic rocks it spits from its mouth, could we stop it?

Well, it could be avoided with enough preparation, but the reality of human technology renders it impossible. Perhaps the dwarves could manage it, but I doubt we had the time to arrange it. We arrived here only after crafting Luna’s weapon and teleporting.

“Instead of that, it’s better to worry about what to do to pass the time.”

Even if Arthur, who was weaker than the toilet, made it through somehow in the original story, it makes me wonder if we really need to be all fidgety and worry.

Right now, what’s more pressing is how to pass the time. With six days left until the raid, I’d end up saying it was boring if I sat around doing nothing for just two more days.

While everyone else was seriously worried, I alone had my arms crossed, deep in thought.

“Hm? Is that Luke?”

“Huh?”

Weapon Master Gideon, as he passed by, stopped upon spotting me.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m just trying to think of something to do since I’m bored.”

“Haha! Are you the same? Ever since I came here, I’ve had nothing to do, so I’ve been training every day.”

I guess only those at the S-Rank level could understand my sentiment. Being bored is a big deal, right? Haven’t we seen that in novels before? Those wanting death due to the endless boredom of eternal life. We must manage our boredom levels well to avoid ending up like that.

“What do you think? As I was just on my way to check the seal while training, why not join me if you’re bored?”

“Training isn’t really my thing.”

“Even if you skip training, hunting a monster would surely be more fun than sitting in this dull spot.”

That does make sense… Now that I think about it, there’s a monster I need to take down. The monster that threw a stone at me yesterday. I can’t quite remember its name, but I’m determined to hunt it down.

In a time when merely throwing a hanger was a motive for murder in the past, throwing stones would definitely count as attempted murder. It’s time to show those filthy monkeys that justice lives on.

Luna thought to pass responsibility over to the Weapon Master and let auto-training begin, as we followed Gideon back to the sealing site we had seen yesterday. Upon arriving, Gideon suddenly frowned while skimming over the tablet.

“Hm?”

He had a serious expression I hadn’t seen before. Curiously, I checked why he was acting that way.

“Oh.”

Three barely-visible scratches were drawn on the stone. From the looks of it, they seemed to be from a sharp weapon, and since they were drawn in three lines rather than striking the same spot repeatedly, they likely used a claw-like weapon.

It didn’t seem like a major issue, but important was that someone had tried to destroy the tablet. I wasn’t sure what would happen if one out of many tablets were destroyed, but the seal would surely be compromised. The culprit likely aimed for that.

‘Is the culprit the toilet?’

This is why toilets are troublesome. Just as I thought that, Yui tugged at my sleeve.

“Lu, Luke, over there…”

She pointed behind the tablet, and as I walked around to see, I was met with the sight of an elf’s corpse that had been hidden behind the stone.

“Whoa! A corpse!”

 

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