Volume 3 Chapter 42: “The Night of the Breakup”
Cold gazes cut through him, and Subaru shakes his shoulders silently.
Whether it comes from anger or sadness, he can no longer tell as he gets swept up in a torrent of mixed emotions.
All he knows is,
“No… I…I just want to…everyone’s…”
Crusch’s declaration is completely off the mark.
To say he’s acting out of hatred for the Witch Cult is nothing more than a misguided, twisted perspective.
Subaru’s feelings, their source, should always be for someone else. It must be like that.
Yet, his words never follow clearly, and Crusch shakes her head as she responds,
“You cannot deceive others with a lie you cannot even deceive yourself with. What do you call the madness and murderous intent that dwells in your eyes now, Natsuki Subaru?”
“―――”
“Since you returned to the mansion, you have been wearing that same look, haven’t you?”
The dry observation is laden with either pity or sympathy. Regardless, hearing it prompts a dramatic reaction from Subaru, who instinctively reaches to touch his eyes, trying to check the invisible emotion with his fingertips.
At that moment, he is only proving that he cannot wholly deny Crusch’s words.
“I do not understand why you are fixated on the Witch Cult. Many have had their lives twisted by the Witch Cult. You are likely one of them. Your anger, your hatred may be justified. But that has nothing to do with negotiations.”
“What if—”
“Hmm?”
Subaru presses on, unwilling to let the subject die as Crusch declares the negotiation over. He squints one eye and gasps as he waits for his words to continue.
“If I hate the Witch Cult, then what of it? Yeah, they’re the pests of the world. It’d be much better to wipe them all out. I think that. But as you said, that has nothing to do with this.”
The unquenchable hatred, the unending despair, the burning desire for Petelgeuse’s death festers in Subaru’s chest, filling him with a negative energy.
He knows it does not give a good impression to others. However, even this feeling is necessary for Subaru to hold onto his sanity at the moment.
And he takes pride in being able to assert what must be done without being swayed by those feelings.
So,
“That can’t be a reason for breaking off negotiations…!”
“You’re missing the point again, Natsuki Subaru. Whether your actions are rooted in hatred is irrelevant to the validity of our negotiations. However, it has a lot to do with your unsuitability as a negotiating partner. I cannot say it is entirely unrelated to negotiation.”
“Unsuitable…what do you mean…?”
Subaru grits his teeth and squeezes out the question.
Crusch folds her arms and, as though speaking to a stubborn child, she chews on his inquiry,
“If we assume your actions are rooted in hatred for the Witch Cult, then isn’t your approach to Emilia just a stepping stone for that?”
“Wait, you mean—?”
Crusch holds up a finger atop her crossed arms.
“If Emilia announces her candidacy for the Royal Selection and her origins are made clear, it is evident the Witch Cult will take action as a doctrine. There is no greater bait to keep those who usually wouldn’t even let slip a single thread of their activity in check.”
“Are you saying that I’m using Emilia to take revenge on them?!”
“With how you are acting now, do you really think it sounds convincing when you shout otherwise? Hatred dwells in your eyes, and each of your words oozes with murderous intent. Both are deeply entrenched and cannot fade away or be forgotten.”
“No, no, no, no, no!”
That is simply not true.
Crusch’s remarks do not grasp Subaru’s true nature.
The root of his feelings starts with wanting to save someone. His murderous intent toward Petelgeuse is merely a means to achieve that goal.
Moreover, to confuse means and ends and to solely focus on that is pure speculation.
It is necessary to kill for things to settle, so isn’t it fine to seek out means and plans for slaughter?
They must die. They should not be allowed to live. He is right. As someone trying to do the right thing, everything should cooperate with him.
“My hatred and their evil have no relation! They should not be alive! Therefore, they must all be killed! That way, everyone will be saved! Everyone will be fine! Since no one will die, they should be the ones to die…”
“I already told you, Natsuki Subaru. You cannot deceive others with a lie you cannot even deceive yourself with.”
As Subaru retorts with harsh breath and bloodshot eyes, that voice is cold.
Crusch squints her eyes and looks up at the wheezing Subaru still seated.
“Claiming that you aren’t acting out of hatred, murderous intent, or a desire against the Witch Cult has no persuasive power.”
“W-why…?”
“Don’t you understand?”
Subaru asks back with a hoarse voice, and Crusch’s eyes hold a clear pity.
However, unable to grasp what she means, Subaru merely frowns, while she lowers her gaze, unable to conceal her disappointment and despair.
“—You’ve never once expressed a desire to save Emilia.”
“—Huh?”
“Your words are only embellished with wanting to save someone, to protect others, as a black emotion boils beneath the surface. At the very least, it doesn’t match with how I saw you in the Throne Room.”
Unable to comprehend the meaning of her words, Subaru’s gaze wanders.
—He doesn’t think about wanting to save Emilia?
That can’t be true. From the moment he fell into this world and she saved his life, Subaru has been living for Emilia.
What happened in the Throne Room, the incident in the training grounds, even now—it’s all for her. If he lets this situation slide, she and the village will be lost. He should be taking action for that very reason.
Never, never, never has he been consumed by hatred—
“Any further than this, you will not be permitted to proceed.”
Suddenly, that voice shatters the silence and is thrown at Subaru.
As he snaps back to reality, standing in front of him is an upright elder—Wilhelm. He stands beside Crusch across the table, looking at him with a glint of faint pity in the wrinkles that come with age.
That condescending gaze, that posture, that expression of pity strikes a nerve in Subaru.
“—Subaru-kun?”
As his emotions on edge begin to stir, he feels a tug at his sleeve and looks down to find Rem, still seated, pinching the edge of his clothing with her fingers.
Her well-crafted face wears a hint of anxiety and a touch of sadness.
“Please calm down. Throwing a fit here won’t solve anything. Even if you do, you won’t stand a chance against Wilhelm-sama.”
“…Throwing a fit? What are you talking about? I wouldn’t do something like that…”
“Whoa, whoa, that’s not fair at all, is it?”
Just as he’s about to continue, Felix shrugs and lets out a heavy sigh. He points at Subaru with a finger, indicating the arm that Rem is not holding onto.
“What are you planning to do, clenching a teaspoon in a tightened fist? Maybe your parent’s upbringing was poor, but that grip isn’t gonna work.”
Subaru realizes for the first time that his right hand, which he had been holding tightly, grasped the spoon from the teacup presented to him. He was holding it like he meant to slam it down on something.
—When did this happen?
“Just because you hit the nail on the head doesn’t mean you need to act out. If you throw a tantrum here, while Rem-chan is keeping them at bay, Wilhelm will chop you in half!”
“And I would prefer not to give such orders. After spending a few days together, political issues may arise. Besides, the room would get messy.”
Despite the situation where he could have been rudely disregarded, Crusch maintains her composure when looking up at Subaru. This demonstrates her larger capacity, almost ridiculing Subaru’s helplessness as he can only express his frustration through this puny piece of metal.
All of this is deeply irritating.
“So, you’re not gonna lend your strength, huh?”
Thus, rather than apologizing, he shoots back with defiant words.
To that, Felix looks displeased, and Wilhelm squints his remaining eye at the master. But Crusch responds to the question with a simple “Ah.”
“Your statements hold little credibility, and cooperating would not yield us anything attractive. —Therefore, we will remain spectators.”
“The Witch Cult will come for us. If that happens, it will be you who kills the people in that village. Your ‘Sloth’ for doing nothing while knowing that will kill those villagers.”
“Quite the arrogant words you have there. So let me say one thing.”
Casting aside the name associated with disdain, Subaru glares at Crusch. Receiving that murky gaze, Crusch stands and meets Subaru’s eyes directly.
Her penetrating gaze feels as though it’s peering deep into his heart, giving him an unpleasant sensation. Then,
“I can generally see whether the person I’m facing is lying or not. I take pride in not having been deceived by others since long ago.”
Out of the blue, Crusch begins to speak of such things.
She fixes her eyes on Subaru, who seems perplexed.
“Based on that experience, you are not lying, but…”
“Then…”
“You do not believe your own lies; you stubbornly cling to delusions as truths. —That is madness itself; you are a madman, Natsuki Subaru.”
In that moment, Subaru clearly understands that this negotiation has broken down.
He cannot imagine doing anything significant with someone who treats him like that madman and that vile man.
More than anything, he feels his heart cannot bear the humiliation of this moment anymore.
As he grits his teeth, blood runs from the corner of Subaru’s lips.
Seeing this pitiful sight, Crusch says,
“Felix, please heal him.”
“I refuse!”
Far quicker than Felix could move, Subaru turns away and leaves his chair. He heads toward the exit of the reception room.
“It’s dinner time, but aren’t you joining us?”
“Eating at a table with a madman is just beyond disgusting, right? I’m not sure if you’re a refined person or a kabuki actor, but you’ve definitely gone too far.”
Returning sarcasm for sarcasm, Subaru places his hand on the door to the reception room.
As he turns his head slightly, he sees Rem, sitting up straight, properly bowing to them.
“Thank you for your patience during our short stay; I would like to offer my gratitude on behalf of my household.”
“Is that your…no, is that Meizers’ answer?”
“Yes. I was instructed to respect Subaru-kun’s wishes above all else.”
It was an exchange that made no sense to him, and he could not see Crusch’s expression from his angle. However, the tone of her voice as she bids farewell to Rem held a sense of unfulfilled hope.
This feeling contrasted sharply with the clear break she had shown toward Subaru, and that, too, felt somewhat irritating.
Recognizing that Rem was hastily approaching, Subaru opened the door.
He knew this place well. He was clear about the route from here to the entrance, and then out the gate to the noble district of the Royal Capital.
“Do you have a plan?”
“Just try to be a good king. A dictator, perhaps.”
Spitting out the last words thrown at him and slamming the door shut.
Thus, the negotiations with Crusch came to a disastrous end.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
After the negotiations collapsed, it was past evening when Subaru stepped out into the noble district.
The sun had already set far in the west, and the world was slowly being draped in night. As the crystal lamps illuminated the path ahead, Subaru leaned against the iron fence, waiting for Rem to come out.
“Damn, all of them…”
He struck his arms with his fingers and let out a frustrated growl from his mouth.
What recalled his mind were the humiliating exchanges he had just had with Crusch.
His chest was surging with regret over losing their cooperation and,
“You stubborn fools… Why are you getting in the way of what’s right…?”
It was an irate feeling, almost similar to hatred directed toward those women who blocked his path.
Subaru’s resolve to eradicate the Witch Cult should not be wrong. This meant that their refusal to cooperate with him was the true mistake.
They have not witnessed that tragedy, that cruelty, or the vile laughter of that bad man. They do not understand because they haven’t seen, haven’t heard, or haven’t physically felt it.
Those people are worthless pests that should not be allowed to live.
“Enough already, forget about those callous failures. Prioritize what’s in front of you…”
Rather than being halted by the shameful thoughts swirling in his mind, he should prioritize making some forward progress.
After all, asking Crusch for aid had only been a second-rate plan for Subaru. In the pursuit of eradicating the Witch Cult, there are far more promising candidates out there. They are,
“Thank you for waiting, Subaru-kun.”
Rem appeared before a Subaru who had been tapping his foot in frustration as she walked through the gate. What she carried were her belongings accumulated during their stay at Crusch’s mansion—she couldn’t just leave them behind and had returned to gather them.
After making such a fuss, it would be embarrassing to come back just to collect her things. Subaru welcomed Rem, who held both arms full of baggage.
“My bad. Give me those bags; I’ll help carry them.”
“It’s all right. They aren’t heavy, and Subaru-kun is still recovering from your illness.”
However, Rem politely refuses his offer. Normally, Subaru would insist more, but given the current situation, he didn’t care enough to press further.
He lowered the hand he had stretched out quickly and said,
“Speaking of which, you didn’t mind leaving Crusch’s place, huh?”
“Yes. If that’s what Subaru-kun chose.”
“Well, no point in dwelling on it. After all that, I can’t just sit there continuing treatment. I feel bad for Emilia-tan; I’ve really done her wrong.”
Emilia, who had entrusted them with Subaru’s treatment in exchange for something. He felt an ounce of guilt for repeatedly undermining her kindness in such a moment. Once the Witch Cult matter was settled, they would need to discuss this properly after reconciling. It’ll be fine; once the crisis passes, Subaru knew they’d eventually talk.
To achieve that, he must certainly ensure Petelgeuse dies.
“Subaru-kun, about the negotiations with Crusch-sama…”
“She kept rattling on about credibility and profit, all that convoluted nonsense. She really has no heart. Who would want to follow someone like that?”
Subaru cuts off Rem, who seems about to speak, and he shuts down the conversation entirely.
In consideration of Subaru’s feelings like this, maybe Rem chose not to drag the topic any further. Instead,
“What will you do from here? If what you said is true, we have no time to waste.”
“True?”
“—We have no time to waste. Shall we go back to Roswaal-sama’s mansion?”
Subaru interjects, and Rem tosses the words back at him. Subaru rests his chin on his hand and shakes his head, saying,
“If we go back just the two of us, we won’t achieve much. We need to return with a proper fighting force. Without an alternative, we’ll only be left defenseless.”
If it’s just Subaru and Rem, they’d only be repeating the previous events.
Perhaps if they left earlier than before, they could reach the mansion without encountering those enemies, but—
“Still, I’m anxious about meeting them with the fighting strength that remains at the mansion.”
Their only combatants are essentially Ram and Rem. They may also include Emilia, who could fight alongside Pack, but beyond that, only Subaru and the villagers—amateurs—remain.
The Witch Cult led by Petelgeuse, who is heavily armed, possesses a combat strength far beyond what Subaru can handle when he stands up to Rem, which means it would be difficult to count on the villagers and Subaru as significant forces.
“We lack numbers… we’re lacking strength. What’s Roswaal doing…?”
If he were present, with proper use, they might have a chance of decimating the Witch Cult’s strength. Yet, he hadn’t been seen in previous meetings. There’s also the issue of Emilia, but where on earth are they in that mansion?
“Subaru-kun, regarding Roswaal-sama … If everything follows the plan after leaving the Royal Capital, it is highly likely he is not at the mansion right now.”
“—What?! You knew Roswaal wouldn’t be there?!”
“Roswaal-sama is scheduled to visit Garfiel’s—uh, the prominent figures in the territory. He’s likely staying for a few days.”
“Damn, how bad timing! Is that the reason we can’t handle the raid?”
With the answer matching his earlier concerns, Subaru scratches his head and curses.
That perverted lord seemingly never stays in the mansion at crucial times. If that’s the critical reason the territory is overrun,
“It’s without excuse for Crusch to have grounds to complain about the lord’s abilities…”
As the impression of Roswaal, the capable yet perverted, began to warp into a despising combination of perverse and incompetent, Subaru desperately wracks his brain.
In other words, now that they can’t expect Roswaal as their greatest strength, they continue to face a critical shortage of combat power. This same situation would exist even if Subaru and Rem managed to return to the mansion safely.
“We really have no choice but to return with a fighting force.”
Raising his head and asserting this, Subaru nods to Rem, who watches him carefully.
The plan has been decided. Besides, both of them have no time to waste. If they’re going to exceed the results of the previous and the one before it, they must leave the Royal Capital by tomorrow at the latest.
Considering it’s now the beginning of night, they really only have about half a day to spare.
“Anyway, we have to find someone else who might be willing to help us. Rem, are you familiar with the geography of the Royal Capital?”
“I’ve visited a few times, and I’ve been out with Subaru-kun for a few days, so I know it reasonably well. …But, who?”
“Of course. —The most viable candidate, the righteous good-looking guy.”
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
To say Reinhardt Van Astraea is the ideal person for Subaru would not be an overstatement.
He possesses a power that seems blessed by the gods, along with a handsome appearance graced by the goddess. His personality is gentle; he treats everyone without prejudice, and above all, there’s no doubt about his sincerity.
As a symbol of absolute justice, he would not overlook even the slightest wrong, rendering him a reliable ally. Subaru has that conviction.
The wickedness of the Witch Cult and the malice of Petelgeuse undermine the dignity of humanity.
That can never be forgiven, and Subaru believes that Reinhardt will not forgive it either.
Furthermore, he does not seem likely to bring up clever reasons like Crusch or Felix, ruminating over mutual benefits.
There’s no point in attempting to negotiate while waving around such interests in front of someone as honest as him, who seems to glow with righteousness deep down within.
If it is justice, he certainly won’t allow the suffering of the kingdom’s citizens. Therefore, the collapse of negotiations with Crusch is no severe blow to Subaru.
Reinhardt will undoubtedly become Subaru’s ally.
His astounding swordsmanship will surely strike off Petelgeuse’s head.
Feeling his lips curve into a smirk due to the excitement and sadistic satisfaction, Subaru slowly makes his way towards him—
Only to be informed that his hero, Reinhardt, had “left the Royal Capital two days prior.”
Night arrives.
With approximately twelve hours until leaving the Royal Capital.
With about four days remaining until the mansion is invaded, leading to that terrible tragedy.
—Dark clouds began to loom over this campaign to annihilate the Witch Cult.