Swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying.

Swaying, swaying. My legs are swaying.

With my body sinking into the creaking seat, I let the sensation of the dragon carriage take over as I chuckled softly like a madman.

There was nothing particularly funny, but somehow, laughing brought a sense of peace to my heart.

If I didn’t do this, a terrible feeling would fester in my chest, and if it accumulated too much, my head would explode in chaos.

To prevent that, I laughed quietly, even though there was nothing amusing, seeking something interesting to chuckle at.

But then, suddenly, when that laughter stopped, a loneliness would fill the space.

At that point, I couldn’t hold back anymore, and tears would fall like a broken dam. No matter how hard I tried to stop, the tears wouldn’t listen, and trying to hold them back would make it hard to breathe. So to avoid that pressure, I let the tears flow freely, soaking my face and clothes.

To avoid chest pain and emotional suffering, I repeated laughing and crying, and always from somewhere, the color blue would come to me, stroking my head and wiping my wet cheeks with cloth.

That’s why I liked blue. When blue was beside me, my heart felt warm. But when blue left my side, anxiety struck me like a dark cloud rolling in. My chest ached like I wanted to cry, and when I tried to smile, I couldn’t, only tears continued to fall, plop, plop.

Surely the sadness came when blue wasn’t around. Every time blue left, I would remember that sadness and cry. So I wanted blue to always stay by my side. It seemed blue understood that and stayed with me as much as possible.

So, I liked blue.

Green wasn’t so bad either.

Unlike blue, who stroked my head gently, and visited me repeatedly, green was firm yet soft. Firm, yet soft, and not disliked.

Green had come to visit through blue, and I thought it was blue that brought him. They were chatting about various things, both laughing and crying, busy.

When their talk ended and green left, he would stare at me intently. Those eyes were both firm and soft, and I didn’t dislike them.

Brown and white were scary. I hated them. Scary. They made me want to cry.

Brown visited me second after blue, but when brown touched me, it felt gross, and the tears plopped down, so I didn’t like it. Those angry-looking eyes were terrifying. Despite having a soft face, it was scary. Brown would stroke me so blue wouldn’t cry, but they just fell instead.

White was even scarier. White wouldn’t touch me. I’d only seen it once. Yet, it was frightening. Those eyes that stared as if not seeing anything were terrifying. I hated it. I didn’t like it.

Dreams, dreaming.

Swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying.

While being rocked, swaying my legs, leaning my shoulder, feeling the wind, I dreamt lazily and leisurely.

In the dream, a silver color elegantly sways and dances.

I don’t understand the silver.

My chest is warm and cozy. My heart aches and pricks. My chest feels tight and suffocating. My heart races and pounds.

I can’t tell if it’s happiness, sadness, joy, or pain, I just don’t know.

It feels like I love it like blue, bitter like brown, soft like green, and scary like white.

Silver, I don’t get it. However, thinking about silver isn’t something I dislike.

Swaying, swaying, wavering, wavering.

Swaying, wobbling. Swaying slowly.

※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

Subaru, with his head resting on my shoulder, was dozing off as I watched him with a small smile.

It made me happy that he was so defenselessly and unwary trusting me.

I knew this wasn’t the usual Subaru and that this state wasn’t his true intention, but even so, being trusted like this was the greatest joy.

“Come closer, Subaru-kun.”

“…Mm, uhh.”

Even though we were close enough to hear his breathing, I pulled him even nearer to me. The driver’s seat was meant for one, making it quite cramped for two. Normally, petite me should be the one relying on Subaru, but doing that now would endanger us both.

Since boarding the dragon carriage, I’d half-placed Subaru on my lap and, with the reins in one hand, embraced his waist as I adjusted my posture and pulled the reins again.

I maintained a position that wouldn’t strain Subaru as much as possible. That said, my position, giving up most of the driver’s seat area, was quite uncomfortable. Spending nearly half a day in this position would leave an ordinary person fatigued.

In this regard, I was far superior in physical strength to the average person. My mental endurance was unmatched when it came to just holding on. Most importantly, the situation where my hardship contributed to Subaru’s welfare was my biggest motivation.

I hadn’t been told what exchange had occurred between Subaru and Emilia, nor what distortions had arisen.

On that day, when the Royal Selection’s holding had been announced at the Royal Castle, I was terribly surprised by the frazzled appearance of Emilia when she returned after letting Subaru’s audience pass under Roswaal’s instruction.

She looked completely exhausted, vaguely explaining to me what had happened in the castle. She then told me to go welcome Subaru, who was left behind in the castle, and head toward Crusch’s residence.

There hadn’t been any scolding for letting Subaru go.

Emilia likely didn’t forget that part, so I thought she had some reason behind it and didn’t bring it up myself.

I quietly followed Emilia’s orders and entered Karsten House with Subaru. Before that, I had spoken briefly with Roswaal, but that part was a secret to both Emilia and Subaru. And now, it didn’t even matter anymore.

In any case, after entering Karsten House, Subaru’s treatment officially began.

As I was welcomed as a guest at his mansion, unlike Subaru, I wasn’t the one receiving treatment, so I had a good amount of freedom in my actions. I spent most of my free time standing beside Subaru.

I wanted to unconditionally affirm his perseverance as he maintained his usual demeanor while utterly exhausted, but honestly, I had more private feelings underlying that.

At Roswaal’s mansion, I couldn’t spend enough time with Subaru.

I mostly assisted Ram with household chores, and the roles varied significantly since I took care of most of the mansion’s maintenance functions. Naturally, this reduced my contact time compared to my sister, planting a not insignificant amount of discontent and anxiety in me.

Once I became aware of this, I felt it was awfully indecent to voice such feelings.

“Don’t worry, Subaru-kun.”

As Subaru twisted and turned uneasily, I adjusted my hold, gently speaking while gripping the reins.

Subaru, with his eyelids closed and still asleep, didn’t respond to my voice. However, it seemed just a bit of tension eased from the corners of his eyes, and I readied myself to look ahead again.

I had intended to travel through the night to reach the mansion, but perhaps we should camp at some point. Even though it had been just past noon when we left Crusch’s residence, the moon was now starting to cover the path to the mansion’s distance by about half.

We were running considerably behind schedule. This was a result of my efforts to ensure Subaru faced no burdens, making the earth dragon run at a speed much slower than normal.

If this pace continued, it would take an additional two or three hours to make it back in half a day, and we might not arrive at the mansion until morning.

“If it gets to that point, communication with my sister will be difficult.”

There’s a degree of distance required and a state of mutual consciousness to use empathic senses.

Particularly, when I initiate communication with Ram from my side, the conditions regarding energy and distance are quite strict. At the present distance, reporting the situation to Ram was impossible, and by the time we could reach that distance, it would be deep into the night.

—Best to camp, then.

Deciding that, I pulled the reins and instructed the earth dragon to stop.

Obeying, the earth dragon slowed its pace, coming to a halt and looking up at me with a heavy snort.

Leaving Subaru on the driver’s seat, I slipped down to the ground and surveyed the surroundings.

Night had already fallen, and the only sources of light on the Leafhaus highway were the moonlight and the lighting powered by the Lugmaite ore installed in the dragon carriage.

Fortunately, with few clouds tonight, the moonlight fully illuminated the surroundings. I reasoned that the likelihood of being ambushed by bandits was low, so I quickly climbed into the dragon carriage, efficiently stacking blankets to create a makeshift sleeping area. Then,

“Excuse me, Subaru-kun.”

I princess-carried Subaru, who was sleeping on the driver’s seat, and wrapped him in the bedclothes.

Realizing that Subaru must be feeling fatigued from the continuous sitting and running, I laid him down on his side, checked his condition, and stepped outside the carriage to keep watch.

I wasn’t overly worried about bandits, but during the nighttime on the highway, it was common for magical beasts or wild dogs to attack due to the low traffic of dragon carriages.

Having faced such cases in the past, I understood these threats were often much more dangerous than humans. However,

“Tonight, you’re here as well, so I don’t think I need to worry too much.”

Reaching out, I stroked the earth dragon’s nose as it lowered its head toward me.

We’d been connected for a long time, albeit through the reins. Some affection had formed, and the earth dragon listened well to my words as a stranger. Given how well it had been trained, I couldn’t help but praise that it belonged to a duke’s house.

Though, it wasn’t unrelated to the fact that I, as a demon, was a biologically superior being.

The earth dragon species is particularly known for its amiable relationships with humans. They are integrated into daily life in significant numbers and are highly regarded due to their gentle nature.

In contrast, flying dragons and water dragons require special training and need to be raised from infancy, so they’re less commonly found than earth dragons.

All in all, while the earth dragon is friendly towards humans, its quality as a species is of a distinctly higher caliber than other beasts. Rarely do wild animals attack the earth dragon, and it inherently possesses an acute sense of danger.

They will not attack unless in the presence of numerous magical beasts or bandit groups, and the earth dragon can usually detect these threats in advance.

Hence, camping with the earth dragon present is quite safe.

“Rest well.”

With myself and the earth dragon, there’s more than enough personnel for nighttime vigilance.

Glancing briefly at the makeshift bed, I spoke softly and petted the dragon’s nose to make it sit down. Leaning against its firm skin, I covered myself with the blanket I had brought and readied my senses for the watch.

If we set out as the early morning light began, we should arrive at the mansion by tomorrow morning.

I would have to endure any scoldings for returning with Subaru without completing our objectives. After all, I am the only one who can protect Subaru now.

“But if anyone can bring Subaru back to normal…”

It must be Emilia. That thought vexed me.

To me, Emilia was a particularly difficult person to interact with.

Roswaal had officially welcomed her as a guest, and now she was treated as a figure superior to me as a royal candidate. In fact, Roswaal had instructed us to treat her that way concerning both Ram and myself.

I had no objections to treating her as higher than her master, Roswaal. Ram, being a staunch supporter of Roswaal, seemed displeased, but my feelings on that matter were not as strong as my sister’s. Of course, Ram was not foolish enough to express it openly, so it was merely my perception of her sentiments.

Since I had been unconsciously aware of my discontent that would resonate strongly with my empathic senses.

My feelings towards Emilia were complicated due to her background, unrelated to Roswaal’s intentions.

—Emilia is a half-elf. In other words, she’s half-demon.

Intellectually, I recognize that she is not at fault, but emotionally, I struggle to reconcile that.

It’s not that Emilia is bad. Yet, the existence of half-demons had a far too significant impact on my life to be dismissed lightly.

It was difficult to choose to interact with her positively or with malice.

As a result, I firmly resolved to maintain my behavior towards Emilia simply as “guest and servant.”

Disregarding my feelings, I would respond to Emilia’s commands like a machine. Emilia seemed to sense my detached attitude and didn’t say anything to concern me.

Days passed in such a relationship, and I thought my feelings would remain unchanged, no matter what happened with the results of the Royal Selection. Given my role, I would have little opportunity to witness the end of the Royal Selection. Considering the position I’d imposed upon myself, I had warned myself against harboring any strong feelings—positive or negative—towards Emilia.

Yet now, my feelings towards Emilia had completely transformed compared to before.

That very change disturbed me deeply.

I wasn’t childish enough to deny my feelings, yet Emilia’s obstinacy was intolerable in every sense. Although I knew she had a past that justified such behavior, I felt disgusted with myself for thinking that way.

These feelings swirled in the air, coalescing into a single boy at their core, ready to explode.

Breathing out in frustration at my own ugliness, I placed myself in this soundless world, where even light felt ambiguous, and my thoughts began to drift into the abstract.

Time felt vague and slow, and no matter how many times I looked up, the moon’s position seemed unchanged from before.

The night felt long. A solitary night was endlessly deep, cold, and lengthy.

Suddenly, I was overcome by the urge to tunnel back into the vehicle behind me.

How nice it would be to slip beside that boy, who had an easygoing face while deeply asleep, not dreaming, and share warmth with him.

I could even abandon everything and act on that desire.

After all, turning back now would only lead me to face a harsh reality far from the ideal.

At this moment, driving the dragon carriage anywhere would only be a matter of my own conscience. If I continued to spend time with Subaru, he might recover from this childlike state and share the same time as before, even if it was differently.

The travel funds given to me by Roswaal were quite substantial. I could go missing with this and live in seclusion with Subaru.

“Heh, what a dream.”

Shaking my head, I pressed my forehead against my knees, chuckling softly at my own delusions.

Such a choice would be an utter betrayal, something I couldn’t even think of embracing. In reality, it was a cruel thought I should avoid even picturing.

Leaving my sister—Ram—behind at the mansion was out of the question. She was my other half, and more importantly, if I left her behind in that mansion, what kind of burden would crush her? My kind, sweet sister would surely forgive me, but that made it all the more impossible to betray her.

Roswaal had entrusted me, with all that money and a significant role. Betraying that trust was also an idea that couldn’t exist in my steadfast character.

And above all,

“I can’t leave Subaru… as he is.”

While devotedly caring for Subaru, I was overtaken by a sense of bliss.

I was aware that I was someone with strong possessiveness. If possible, I wanted to keep all my important people close by. Serving others made me feel my own worth—I was born with a maid’s disposition.

Therefore, being there for the current Subaru didn’t feel burdensome to me. On the contrary, I was enjoying the days where I felt Subaru’s need for me.

However, this wasn’t the real Subaru.

To me, Natsuki Subaru was always—and forever—

※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

The dampness in the morning mist ruffled my bangs as I slowly lifted my face.

Perhaps one could say I was in a half-awake state, gently floating between sleep and reality, I recognized that it was time to depart.

Throughout the night, there hadn’t been significant change, and magical beasts or bandits failed to even show their presence. However, it seemed I wasn’t without fatigue. Enduring monotonous hours without any actual changes, I barely managed to remain conscious, chickening out from sleepiness, and had shifted to that half-awake state, spending my time recovering my own rest.

Standing up, I stretched my body in the refreshing morning air.

I realized this approach was somewhat unrefined. I would never do such a thing in front of others, but right now, the only one watching was the slumbering Subaru just beside me—

“S-Subaru-kun!?”

I jumped back in surprise as I noticed the boy nestled against me, all wrapped in the blanket.

Without support, the boy slowly rolled over onto the grass, puckering his face as he stirred.

In a panic, I compared Subaru’s presence with the dragon carriage behind us. Having come down in the dead of night while my consciousness had been elsewhere, he must have rolled over beside me.

I shivered at the prospect that I hadn’t noticed that fact, while also feeling the heat rise to my face, belatedly realizing how much I had lowered my guard around Subaru.

Such a cute reaction flushed through me, but at the same time, I thought that Subaru’s current behavior might be a good sign.

Typically, Subaru hadn’t shown much beyond a lack of expression, or his responses were limited to either smiling or crying. Here he was, stepping down from the carriage, taking an initiative.

Perhaps his gradually broken heart was starting to come together again, and I felt hopeful that he might be reconstructing his personality.

“—Alright, let’s head home, Subaru-kun.”

If there was change, surely it would lead to something good.

It was an oddly optimistic thought, likely influenced by the boy standing in front of me. And that inner change felt oddly endearing.

I picked up the still-sleeping Subaru again and hopped back into the driver’s seat to awaken the earth dragon. After giving the dragon a prompt to drink some water, we set off once more.

The wheels crunched against the dirt road, gradually picking up speed.

We’d likely traversed around half the distance, which would amount to about seven or eight hours.

My physical and mental state today was far better than when I had set off with only despair. Watching Subaru’s peaceful sleeping face, excitement washed over me as I relayed my eagerness into the reins, urging the speed.

Surely, everything would progress in a good direction—

—That was what I believed.

※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

—The air felt strange.

As I realized this, supporting Subaru’s head with my lap while stroking his black hair, something clicked.

Perhaps it was due to my slower realization; having taken the time to slowly think things over last night.

I had managed to reach a degree of acceptance regarding the complex emotions within myself, and perhaps due to that, I overlooked the glaring abnormality despite my initial excitement when Subaru had snuggled up to me during the night.

“It’s too quiet…”

Traveling along the Leafhaus highway, I hadn’t yet passed a single other dragon carriage.

Though we were still on the highway, I had slightly deviated my course as I drove the dragon toward the shortest path to the mansion. With the wheels crunching through the grass beneath me, I ought to have been wary of the utter absence of any other beings around.

Last night, when I had been wary of magical beast or bandit attacks, there had also been numerous oddities.

The complete lack of adversaries was striking, but more alarming was how not even the sound of insects could be heard.

An unwelcome premonition coursed through my mind.

This unmistakable stillness, and the situation where living creatures are holding their breath—these things always bend toward omens signalling an extraordinary event beyond human comprehension.

As I neared the house, a growing unease beset me.

I poured my anxiety into the grip of the reins as I urged the already frantic earth dragon to go even faster.

I was aware I was pushing it, but I had to ascertain the source of this anxiety at once. If it turned out to be a mere figment of my imagination, I could apologize for dragging Subaru and the earth dragon into a meaningless journey and confront the problem head-on.

But, if this smoldering anxiety within my chest were reality—

“—Sister?”

Suddenly, a surge of emotions, not my own, swarmed into my mind.

—An unbearable, intense anxiety that quickly faded, making me panic.

My sister, who was generally composed, was surprisingly bold in her composure. She seldom seemed shaken, save when it was matters concerning her master or—by sheer audacity—myself, her sister.

It was unexpected for her to have such angst that could resonate through to me. That it had faded instantly meant she was containing it to not convey it to me.

Had our distances remained greater, I would have never perceived that anxiety, but it had reached me since I was on my way back from the Royal Capital.

Upon receiving that feeling, I thought,

“I need to return quickly—!”

Hurriedly, I tightened my grip on the reins until my hands turned white.

As it stood, if everything continued as planned at the mansion, my sister and Emilia should have been the only ones there. If, in such circumstances, something happened that neither of them could manage, and it was connected to this anxiety—

The sense of urgency drove me onward. Though I maintained an impassive expression on the outside, I was internally forcing myself to stay calm, a task that was a double-edged sword due to my inherent flaw.

That flaw had once again bared its fangs at me.

—Before my eyes, I witnessed the head of the earth dragon explode in a world where time came to a standstill.