우우우웅–!!

My fingertips stiffened, frozen in place. I felt a cold sweat trickle down, daring not to pierce my neck.

I wasn’t moving. Was I hesitating? No. I thought not.

At this moment, I truly wished to die.

I had even thought about thrusting through in one breath and dying in an instant.

‘This…’

My hand had turned to stone. It felt as if it would never move again.

Or perhaps it was as if someone held me back to a stop.

Realizing that, my eyes trembled as if an earthquake had struck.

I cannot die.

My mother’s words struck true. I was not allowed to die by my own hand.

I realized it now.

In a way, it’s rather strange. How many times had I rolled and tumbled, teetering on the brink of madness?

I had lived, crying out faintly and screaming desperately.

If my life was measured, I could say it was the life I had created.

But still.

‘If I wanted to, I could have died.’

Death felt both far away and so near.

How many had I killed with my own hands? For me to become like them wasn’t far-fetched.

Living like that, had I ever feared death even once?

‘No, I hadn’t.’

I felt strangely colorless regarding my own death.

It was not that I was afraid or indifferent. It was a different perspective altogether.

‘I was indifferent.’

I was distanced from the word ‘death’ itself.

To think I hadn’t even thought about it. I had never wished to die.

Why was that?

How could I have done that?

Was it because my will was strong? That’s a laugh. I was absolutely not confident in that.

I had crumbled many times over.

How many times had I fallen?

Thinking I never wanted to get up again counted in the thousands, perhaps tens of thousands.

I simply got up, guided by another’s hand.

Or, it was a life I led not for myself, but for someone else.

That’s what Pejon said.

‘Disciple. You treat your body too carelessly. As if you don’t care about your own suffering or death.’

At that time, I merely took it as a warning to not misuse my body.

It was unlikely that Pejon’s intentions differed from that.

‘…If it’s like this…’

It sounds strangely familiar.

‘As if, because I couldn’t conceive of death, I acted in such a way.’

Being distant from death.

Or perhaps because I couldn’t even think of it.

I acted without considering my own death.

I thought that wouldn’t matter, so those actions I took. Was it because another reason allowed me to commit them?

‘…I feel like vomiting.’

My stomach churned.

I wanted to cover my mouth with my hand immediately.

Was it the turtle I spoke to? Or perhaps something that Shin Noya said?

I was trapped by the fate set by the world.

That there was a fate I should have originally fulfilled; even if it was my will, perhaps it was not so.

Those words dug deep into my skin.

As my awareness sharpened, it sent chills down my spine.

‘I…’

What on earth is this?

“Son.”

“…!”

At my mother’s call, my eyes widened. I barely managed to stabilize my erratic breathing.

“Hooh… Huh…”

Steam billowed from my mouth. Spirit moved arbitrarily, filling my insides with heat.

“Son…”

“…I’m fine.”

I wasn’t fine. I certainly wasn’t fine, but I had to endure.

“…So, is this related to why you allowed me to eat the Fruit of God?”

A fate bestowed by the world.

Was it a necessary action to break free from it? At that question, my mother said.

“Exactly. It was necessary.”

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you yet.”

“…Huh, is it really like that?”

“…I’m sorry…”

“…When can I hear it?”

Even having arrived at Spirit Mountain, if I still couldn’t hear it, then when would I?

Bringing up this damn situation, she said.

“Next time… next time, I can tell you.”

My mother spoke as if pleading with me. Next time?

‘…There was one more Divine Tree left.’

Except for Hwasan Sect, there was indeed one more.

There was a little-known general’s Divine Tree still remaining.

Could it be that I could learn the context only by reaching there?

Then.

“What can I know right now…?”

What could I hear after coming to Spirit Mountain? Was there anything I could learn after coming this far?

As I asked with questions lingering, my mother spoke.

“That’s what I was asking about earlier. You inquired about the child, didn’t you?”

“…!”

I swallowed dryly at my mother’s words.

Divine Sword.

The other general who had appeared claiming to be my mother’s daughter.

She went by the name Yarang. However, I had different thoughts regarding her.

‘It’s the Divine Sword.’

Putting aside appearances, my instincts said she was a Divine Sword. All my senses screamed that she was.

I was curious as to why she was here in that form under my mother’s wing, and now my mother had begun to mention her.

As I waited for her words while swallowing dryly.

“Your thoughts are correct,” my mother revealed.

“…!”

My mother gave the answer she had long waited for.

Craaack-!

Hearing the answer, I clenched my fists.

Though I had anticipated this, hearing a confirmation from my mother was another story entirely.

“How… how….”

Words failed me.

How could she be here? That’s what I wanted to ask, but the words kept spilling haphazardly.

Fortunately, it seemed my mother understood, as she spoke to me in a slightly lowered voice.

“…Poor child.”

“…”

“I could have let it all pass, but knowing you cherished your memories, I meddled a bit.”

“…What do you mean?”

Meddling is meddling in its own right. The mere existence of the Divine Sword here didn’t make sense.

“Don’t you remember? I told you to hold the child close.”

“What… ah?”

I didn’t understand at first, but then it clicked. Was it during the fight at Shinryong Temple?

When I was facing the Heavenly Demon. It was then that the Divine Sword manifested from Wi Seol-Ah’s body.

Pama’s energy surged forth, firmly protecting the Heavenly Demon in my stead.

It was indeed the Divine Sword that had blocked my enemy, and there had been a time when I absorbed the fading spirit as per my mother’s direction.

‘Could it be…’

Was that when?

Did the spirit I absorbed after my mother’s instruction flow here?

So.

‘Did she act under the name Yarang?’

My heart raced from the moment I heard Yarang was indeed the Divine Sword.

‘A Divine Sword?’

It truly was the Divine Sword?

My heart was racing uncontrollably as I recalled the eyes that gazed at me, unmasking it.

At that moment.

Swoosh.

My mother, in her spirit form, looked somewhere.

Following her gaze, I turned as well. There, across the lake, stood the Heavenly Demon, staring this way.

As if sensing our gaze, the Heavenly Demon too looked our way.

Those were blank eyes. Unlike the vivid purple eyes, there was a lack of focus in those eyes.

At that moment, struck by the contrast in light between my previous and current life, I realized that this life differs from the last.

“I know you may have some expectations, my son,”

As my mother returned her gaze to me, she continued to speak.

“But regretfully, what you’re hoping for may not exist.”

“…What?”

“Even if that child embodies the soul you held dear… that child won’t remember you.”

“What do you mean by that…?”

“Oblivion is both a punishment and a blessing. Not remembering allows certain things to unfold. It was the same for me… and it’s the same for that child as well…”

My mother’s gaze shifted back and forth from the Heavenly Demon behind her before she looked back at me.

“It’s the same for you too.”

“I don’t quite understand…”

“If the soul remains while the memories fade, what is left?”

“I don’t know.”

“What remains is merely emotion.”

My mother’s voice poured out as she slightly raised her body and came closer to me.

“The emotions the soul possessed. That’s all that’s left. What do you think it feels like to have emotions without memories?”

“…”

Having emotions without memories?

Well, that was something I’d never contemplated.

“It’s hollow and sorrowful. To crave and long for that which one does not know is what it means. It feels closer to a curse. So remember this well.”

Her hand touched my cheek.

“The punishment of oblivion means just that. Yet, for one to let go of even those emotions and make one side endure it alone means they desire to bear countless karmas.”

“…What are you suddenly saying?”

Why is she saying this all of a sudden?

Could this be related to the Divine Sword losing its memories?

“This is just meddling. A small bit of meddling I can do for a poor child. Perhaps one day, when you come to know what you shouldn’t, I hope you recall this.”

My mother said as she gently tousled my hair.

It was still incomprehensible.

At that moment.

“I’m sorry for so many things I still can’t share with you. But truly, the notion that you can achieve something only by not knowing is genuine.”

Hearing those words made my brow furrow.

To achieve something only by not knowing.

My mother had once said she wanted my happiness.

Did this imply that was related?

“Son. You mentioned searching for the Fruit of God, didn’t you?”

Then my mother brought up the topic of the Divine Tree.

“…Yes.”

“If you find all the Divine Trees, and if you reach the last one…”

Would I be able to reach what I desire?

One tree in Yawol, one here, and another somewhere else.

If I were to get them all, would it mean I could obtain the Divine Tree?

One.

‘If we speak of all Divine Trees…’

Would that include the ones at Hwasan Sect too?

Just as that thought crossed my mind.

“In the midst of this, if I have but one request of you,”

Her white fingers gently returned to caress my cheek.

“Never, ever come to meet me.”

The warning weighed heavily in my heart.

It was eerily similar to what my mother had once said to me while blocking the Blood Demon.

“At least not now. So later, alright?”

“…Mother, just a moment…!”

There were still more things I needed to say.

I had to bring up the matter of Noya too.

As I thought about that, wanting to speak to my mother—

“…Ugh!!”

Suddenly, my mother trembled as if struck by lightning, then fell to the ground.

“Mother…?”

I rushed towards my fallen mother to support her. Then, my mother, who had previously quieted, slightly moved.

“Ah…”

With a softly released sound, her gaze turned toward me.

“…Noble Person?”

I grimaced at those words.

She was a spirit.