Late at night.
After finishing the call with Noa, I went back into the convenience store and threw away my empty coffee can.
Canned Cafe Mocha tastes strangely bland, so I usually drink canned coffee as a latte instead. I might not be too sensitive to caffeine, but I can still go in and lie down and let sleep come to me.
Before leaving the convenience store, I picked up some potato chips and an ice cream… no, make that two for later. Because, well, it just felt like the right thing to do.
Just kidding, I actually bought one more for Nagisa to have later.
But… little did I know that “later” would be right now.
As I walked along the path heading home, I realized it’s been quite a while since I started living with Nagisa. I’ve spent more time here than I ever did at Mika’s place before we moved in together.
As I reached the end of the walking path, with a pineapple-flavored ice cream in my mouth, my gaze naturally shifted to a nearby bench.
“…Nagichan?”
There she was, sitting on the bench, staring blankly up at the sky.
Wearing slippers and a cardigan over her pajamas… looking a bit unguarded, to say the least.
Considering it’s right in front of her house, I could understand her casual outfit. After all, I was dressed similarly, sporting a hat.
Somehow hearing my whisper-like voice, she turned her head towards me, her ponytail swaying slightly.
Her smile should have looked beautiful, but it felt tinged with some kind of loneliness, making me quicken my pace as I approached her.
“Welcome back.”
“…Nagichan, how long have you been here?”
“Not long.”
“Stop lying, be honest.”
“I’m serious. Mika-san, don’t you trust me?”
“Then why won’t you look me in the eye? That’s strange.”
“…”
I took a bite of the ice cream in my hand and then held it out to Nagisa.
“Then you have to brush your teeth again.”
“Yeah, but I was planning to brush my teeth anyway. So let’s just think of it as brushing together to keep from being lonely. Right?”
“If that’s the case, hand me a fresh one.”
“Hahaha. Sorry, Nagichan. I only bought food for myself.”
“Even if I told a little lie, you don’t have to do the same. You’ve never done that in all this time.”
“…That’s not true! I sneak food in when no one’s looking all the time!”
I slyly sat down next to Nagisa and forcibly handed her the ice cream.
The one I bought for later could wait, right?
As I shoved the ice cream into her hands, Nagisa finally glared at me in silence. Then she took a bite of the ice cream.
Yeah, why resist when you’re going to eat it anyway…
Wait, why is my hat—
“Ugh…?”
Suddenly, everything stopped. The kiss that started so abruptly took me a moment to process.
Through the gap of our lips, Nagisa pushed the ice cream into my mouth.
…A cold kiss with a pineapple flavor. Talk about unique experiences!
But, I’m not the same me as before.
“Ummm… chuu… heh…”
Give or take a time long forgotten, there was a moment when Nagisa hammered into my heart saying, “You really suck at kissing.” So now, kisses with her feel particularly combative. This is all her fault.
In this little contest to shove ice cream into each other’s mouths, I felt Nagisa’s hand wandering to a rather inappropriate place, so I quickly grabbed it, and naturally, our fingers intertwined.
Where do you think you’re heading for round two? I don’t mind, but Nagisa can’t be late for school.
Ah. Naturally, ice cream melts quickly.
And that means, when the ice cream finally loses its shape, it signifies Nagisa, who was holding onto it, was the loser.
“This is a bit sticky and not the best. I think I’d rather have something like candy, or even that ice from last time would be better. What do you think, Nagichan?”
“I liked it. But if Mika-san disliked it, then my heart breaks. Has love faded?”
“…Heueng. Were you lonely, Nagichan?”
Well, if I compare the expressions from then and now, they seem to convey similar feelings.
Watching Nagisa throw a half-hearted complaint, I naturally came to such thoughts. Saying it out loud was a bit impulsive, but…
“You were lonely? No way, that’s impossible… No, it absolutely can’t be…”
“I felt a bit lonely when I thought you might suddenly leave without saying anything one day, and that terrified me.”
“…”
“Is that true? If it were… then it’s my fault. Okay, I’m sorry?”
“…Don’t apologize. I know it isn’t your fault.”
“Shh. Nagichan, at times like this, it’s better to just brazenly take the blame. If you do, I might end up treating you better for the next few days just out of guilt, right?”
“Forget it. Just hug me. Right now, I need that more than a hundred words.”
So, she really was lonely…
After a moment of thought, I shifted my position. I placed my knees on the bench, sitting over it with Nagisa’s legs between mine.
I worried a bit about the ice cream still in her hands, so I took another bite of what’s left. Instead of recreating that kiss from a moment ago, Nagisa opted to just finish the ice cream.
Glancing around the bench area, I was glad to spot a trash can nearby, and I tossed the wooden stick into it.
As it went in easily, I realized I’m pretty good at physical stuff.
After finishing the ice cream, I wrapped my arm around Nagisa’s neck and pressed our foreheads together.
And naturally, Nagisa’s arms encircled around my back. It felt fairly natural, probably because we weren’t just a couple of days into this.
“I’m sorry.”
“Be quiet. You don’t need to talk, but you must.”
“Hehe. If I stop talking, who will I be?”
“You seem to have enjoyed yourself with Noa.”
“She’s a good kid. Really lovable. Yup… it’s hard to find a child who isn’t.”
“…Are you doing this on purpose?”
“Haha, of course. You know, it makes me really excited when you get jealous.”
“Hmm…”
Peck.
I left a light kiss on Nagisa’s lips, causing her eyes to narrow in anticipation.
“I can’t say there’s no one else, but I can say you’re the best. Right?”
“…What happened to you being the prettiest?”
“Hmm? That’s one thing, and this is another! Yes, it’s a fact that I love you the most, Nagichan. I let you win often, don’t I?”
“In important areas, you still manage to win every time while speaking so well…”
With our foreheads and noses touching, Nagisa slowly looked down. Then she began to whisper softly.
“I felt lonely. It felt like you could suddenly leave without a word. The mere thought of that scared me.”
“Heueng. Is that the end of it?”
“I also felt sorry. Every time, it seemed like I was the only one satisfied, leaving us with an unresolved feeling…”
“Oh, come on! That’s too much! I love watching you fall asleep with a smile on your face. So I think that’s unnecessary worry☆”
“Not you, but it’s you who holds my heart.”
“Ah, really. You seem so testy today… Are you possibly a Tsundere?”
“…What?”
“Haha, just forget about it.”
I released my forehead from hers and pulled Nagisa into an embrace. Holding her tightly with her head resting on my shoulder, I gently stroked her back repeatedly.
“I won’t let you go, and I won’t leave.”
“…I need to be assured.”
“Really?”
Assurance.
Assurance?
How on earth do I give that? Even if I say I love you a hundred times, I can’t assure her that I won’t leave… that I won’t push her away.
“Hmm…”
This is tough… a surprisingly difficult request.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said something so pointless.”
“Assurance… what can I do to provide assurance?”
“You can disregard what I just said.”
“Wait a moment and be quiet, Nagichan.”
Using my hand, I let go of Nagisa’s hair. Right now, I needed to feel her hair slipping through my fingertips.
As I played with her hair for a while, a thought came to me.
I slightly pulled back from her and maintained some distance to meet Nagisa’s gaze.
“Nagichan. This is a really… yeah, a really serious thing I’m saying.”
“Yeah… I’m listening.”
“If you bring me a ring, I’ll accept it.”
“…Huh?”
Nagisa blinked, thinking she heard it wrong. Then she let go of the hand resting on my back and took my hand instead.
Pulling my left hand between us, she began to caress my ring finger with her thumb. From her eyes, a heat that was difficult to describe began to bloom.
Peck.
The image of Nagisa planting her lips on the second joint of my ring finger, messy hair and no makeup from just waking up, wore an ordinary outfit, yet she looked so beautiful and noble enough that it would last in my memory forever.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“Who needs assurance when I’m only going to accept it from you? Just the fact that this finger belongs only to me is enough… Will you promise me that?”
“Yeah, I promise.”
“…”
Tears welled in her eyes. Even though it was a late night that seemed ambiguous about being early dawn.
With my hand dampened by the tears, I decided to cherish every emotion of the moment. I may not have a perfect memory, but keeping this moment alive for a lifetime was certainly within my power.
Nagisa is a woman so devoted that she would never leave me at the bottom of an endless abyss. You could say she is a personification of pure love.
Whether it’s right to tie a girl like her down to me when she deserves someone who will love her truly, I choose to think over that later.
Kirihouji Nagisa is my one and only understander, the link that connects me to this world.
Not just my favorite character, but my absolute favorite.
A woman I can unequivocally state that I love more than anyone else in this world.
