What could possibly be the cause?
Seeing Ha Neul’s expression, I could roughly guess what had happened.
It must definitely be something related to my mother.
…My mother, who had left me like that, strangely had a strong obsession with me. Considering the last time she came to find me and how she told my friends to meet up with me outside the room, it seems my mother does ‘love’ me in her own way.
But thinking about that still made a fire burn in my chest. Even if it wasn’t the kind of love I desired, it was still a form of love I had hoped for.
However, circumstances have changed now.
There were people who would support me.
There were people who would continue to stay by my side.
Is longing something that fades surprisingly as the direction and numbers change? My feelings for my mother had faded to a surprisingly tangible degree.
…No, perhaps it was just that the direction had changed.
It seems I have a tendency to love those who love me.
Anyway, Ha Neul truly looked like she had no intention of telling me that story. So, I decided to pretend I didn’t know it for now.
What could I do if she didn’t want to talk?
However, I couldn’t just sit still.
That person had worked hard to ensure my current situation wouldn’t crumble. In particular, they had already asked someone else to handle shares to grow the excess money they had, and also to establish my position in the company.
Though it was a bit annoying to see that gleeful expression of theirs… I decided to trust them since they believed in me.
Since this person had worked hard, I had to do my part and maintain the life they had created for me.
If there was one point where I had an advantage over that person, it would be ‘memory.’
That person might be reading my memories within my subconscious, but no matter what, there wouldn’t be enough time to see all those years’ worth of memories. At least, it wouldn’t be something that could just pop out of my body right now.
But I was different.
I could recall all the memories within my consciousness properly.
Because they were ‘my memories.’
Among those scant memories, there weren’t many that could be pulled out.
Thus, I was quickly able to think of one person.
*
“Senpai.”
“Hmm?”
A few days after that incident.
April was starting to approach its end. The cherry blossoms had almost fallen, pushed aside by new leaves, and occasional spring rains made the dry weather feel moist.
Naturally, I was sweating a lot while jogging. Maybe because I never exercised before, that sweat felt a bit excessive.
But it wasn’t all bad. My stamina was steadily improving, and a playground that I could barely run in at first now allowed me to complete at least one lap.
The type and amount of food I was consuming while eating also increased.
I learned that I ate more when dining with others than when alone, and that it was best to move my body to digest the food I ate.
Of course, I still didn’t particularly enjoy moving my body.
And one of the people who had contributed greatly to making me healthy was the Nam Da-un I had just called out.
It couldn’t be said that it was a systematic training, but still, they were someone who ‘didn’t ignore’ me from the very beginning and helped me out.
“…Can we talk for a moment?”
As I lifted my body from the ground, just like always, Nam Da-un surprisingly replied,
“Uh, what?”
Though he showed a reluctant expression, he responded like this.
“Ah, wait. I want to discuss something personal.”
To the three people trying to get up with us, I immediately said that.
“……”
The three paused for a moment after hearing my words, then sat back down as if understanding.
They probably thought I wouldn’t develop romantic feelings for ‘this person.’
Whatever they were thinking, they likely reached that conclusion.
“Shall we go over there to chat?”
As I pointed to a corner of the playground, an unexpected whistle sounded from behind.
Looking back, the manager was whistling at us.
“Hey, Nam Da-un! Do well!”
…Even my friends were misunderstanding this.
Among those who were misunderstanding was not just the manager. The boys in the back looked at Nam Da-un with envy, and the girls looked at me as if they might come over at any moment.
…To those people, we probably appeared to be in that kind of relationship.
“……”
But that commotion quickly settled when I shot a glare at those people.
As soon as the manager made eye contact with me, he became evasive, whistling quite timidly compared to the boisterous tune he was playing moments ago, and the other members quickly picked up balls and pretended to train hard.
…They all knew what my stamina was like, yet they acted like that.
Seeing that made me feel like money was indeed wonderful. All those people had ignored me because of ‘money,’ and now they could act friendly because it was resolved with ‘money.’
It’s quite ironic.
“Let’s go.”
I said to Nam Da-un, who was looking at those people disdainfully as if they were pitiful.
“Uh, right.”
Nam Da-un obediently followed my words.
*
“Senpai.”
“Uh?”
“Senpai, you know me, right?”
“……”
In response to my question, Nam Da-un didn’t answer but instead pulled a drink from the vending machine. With a clunk, two cans of soda fell out in succession.
He handed one of the cans to me and asked,
“Do you still like it?”
It was an apple-flavored soda.
“Well, I haven’t had it in a while.”
Despite my body weakening day by day, I hadn’t gotten close to any ‘potentially bad for my health’ drinks like that in the mansion. No, it wasn’t just the drinks. I hadn’t eaten ‘unhealthy’ foods, like snacks or instant food, since I was nine years old. I had just managed to eat a bit following my friends this year.
…If you cared for me that much, you could have loved me differently.
“……You really are you.”
Hearing that from Nam Da-un, I looked up at him in surprise.
“What are you so surprised about? Didn’t you come looking for me knowing everything?”
“Excuse me?”
What he was saying seemed a bit strange to me.
“Didn’t you ask for help knowing back then when you first came to find me?”
“Excuse me?”
What on earth was he saying?
…Ah, I see.
It seems he thought I had been recalling memories with him ‘from the very beginning.’
“No.”
I shook my head.
“I just recalled it recently.”
Of course, what I was talking about was ‘memory.’ No matter what, it was a bit awkward to say that another personality was asleep within me and that person was the one who had actually met him so far.
No matter how much this person had been the first to engage with the isolated me.
And even though a long time had passed, I had fundamentally changed little.
“Really? Hmm. Is that so?”
Whoosh, as he sat down on a nearby bench, I followed him, but with a bit more distance than when I sat with my friends. Just like old times.
“……You knew from the start, right?”
“Of course I did. Your face is a bit distinctive.”
Nam Da-un waved his hand in front of his face. I glared at him slightly, but he just laughed as if it was amusing.
Crack.
While opening the can, he continued speaking.
“Still, I only heard what kind of situation you were in much later.”
“Was my expression that way because you thought I couldn’t remember?”
In his memory, Nam Da-un had made a tsk sound when he first saw me.
“……”
Nam Da-un didn’t reply to that.
“What do you mean by what you just said?”
“What do you mean?”
He asked back, spinning the can he was holding without taking a sip.
“You really are you.”
“Oh, that.”
In response to my question, Nam Da-un placed his right foot on his left knee and rested his right elbow on his right knee, propping his chin up. If the can he was holding was a beer can, it could have been a perfect display of a delinquent.
When we were young, I guess we fought over whether cherry soda or apple soda was better.
No, in truth, our first meeting wasn’t anything significant; it was just a playful tussle.
“I’m not sure if you’d believe me if I say this, but I actually have a knack for seeing a person’s fundamental traits. When I first met you after a long time, I thought you didn’t remember me at all. No, rather, it felt like something was… different. Anyway, it was clearly your face and your name, but I thought you were different.”
“What about now?”
“Now… you’re still… a bit different from that time. It’s hard to pinpoint where it’s different.”
He said that and then took a sip from the drink he was holding.
…Honestly, I didn’t understand what was so tasty about that.
