“….Haaah…”
Slowly opening her eyes, Hongryeon let out a sigh the moment she sat up.
Who would have thought the mirror realm showing Simma was actually such a place?
I always thought I was fine, but here I am, faced with an endless desert that I had to walk through alone.
And when I discarded things one by one, maybe the comfort of my burden lightening was actually my Simma.
Perhaps my Simma was trying to make me let go of even the things I had cherished so dearly.
That’s why Hongryeon couldn’t help but smile wryly.
“…I got my hopes up again.”
Who would have guessed he would be inside my own mind?
Just how much space did he occupy in my heart that he would appear and reach out even in such situations?
Hongryeon closed her eyes and remembered Yu Wol, who had appeared and offered support while she suffered in the desert.
Ahh. He was always like a great tree.
With the bittersweet scent of tobacco, he walked alongside her, truly a comforting presence.
Just by talking to her, just by walking beside her, he gave her strength.
How could one not like a person like that?
“…Ugh.”
But was that a bit too much?
Hongryeon touched her slightly reddened face. Even though it had been in a fantasy, and he was always there to protect her in her mind.
Such a rambling confession.
A kiss driven only by impulse.
Ah, this isn’t what I envisioned.
I wanted to confess in a better place, in a more romantic setting.
More beautifully than this, not while drenched in sweat and leaning on him.
“…Ah-ha.”
Yet, it felt like a heavy weight in her heart had become quite light.
She always wanted to express her feelings to him and had been afraid of rejection.
But perhaps because she had released that desire, even if it was in her mind and to someone she created, she felt much more at ease.
That’s why Hongryeon smiled.
Remembering the gentle smile he had given her.
Ahh. Today, I want to see him even more.
A little while after Hongryeon left, Chaejin slowly opened her eyes.
Without even having time to fix her flowing long hair, Chaejin stared blankly into the air.
“…Heh.”
She couldn’t help but let her lips curl into a natural smile.
I can’t hold back anymore.
It’s no wonder, since I realized that he exists even in that terrifying, cold, and lonely prison within my mind.
Ahh. Really. I can’t deal with you.
Trying to save me even from that place.
Of course, he said that he was the one saving himself, just like he always has.
Yu Wol saved himself with just a few words.
Chaejin gently touched her neck.
The collar that had been filled in her mind.
It was something significant that symbolized her meeting with him.
That’s why she couldn’t sever it. Instead, it was something to be cherished.
As she thought that far,
“Ugh.”
Her face turned bright red. At the end, her overflowing feelings for Yu Wol left her at a loss for what to do, reminding her of something she had done unknowingly.
-Whack! Whack!
She covered herself with the blanket and kicked it off.
No matter how much he was just a creation of her mind, how could she do something like that to him?
-Whack! Whack! Whack!
Chaejin, who was kicking the blanket as if it would tear, turned her body.
And she flopped onto the bed, struggling.
“Ahhh…!!”
Her flushed face wouldn’t cool down.
“…What are you doing? If you’re awake, get out quickly. We have morning training. If you’ve passed the mirror dimension, shouldn’t you see the results?”
At that moment, Chaejin snapped back to reality at the sound of Chaeran’s voice coming from the room.
I have to hide this.
What happened in the mirror dimension must never be known by anyone.
How can I confess that, that kind of confession?
Offering the collar to him as my master… Ahhh…
Of course, when he handed her the chain that should have been on her neck, she felt a tingling happiness throughout her body.
But still.
But still.
It’s definitely not something a virgin who hasn’t even held a man’s hand should do.
What if he finds out and thinks I’m vulgar?
And what if he pushes me away because of it?
Her red face turned pale.
But.
Even so, she couldn’t stop fiddling with that white neck connected to him, which was definitely there, yet nothing was there at the same time, grinning like an idiot.
*
I thought about it all night.
Hongryeon and Chaejin both harbor those feelings for me.
Both are beautiful women exuding their respective charms.
Honestly, it would be a lie to say I don’t like it.
How could it be that I’m disliked when such amazing women like me?
I also have good feelings toward them, so it would make sense to feel happy.
“Hmmm.”
Anyway, it seems like they have no intention of revealing their feelings to me right now, but that will change soon.
It seemed like it would soon be time to choose.
The problem was this: both of them liked me enough to have thoughts about me in their minds.
“Hmm…”
Just then, I heard a knock on the door. Is it already morning? If I’m late for breakfast, everyone will worry, so I should hurry.
I headed straight to the dining hall, where I ran into Hongryeon.
“Did you sleep well?”
I flinched for a moment at the sight of her, but upon seeing her bright smile, the thoughts I’d had in my head the day before suddenly flooded back.
– Ah. Ugh… Really…?
With tears of joy in her eyes, Hongryeon hugged me close, just like in her imagination.
Like a cat craving affection, she clung to me and rubbed her face against my chest.
– I’ve always thought about it. That you would be with me. When I’m with you, I’m just ‘Hongryeon.’ Living together with that Hongryeon and Yu Wol. Ever since I became the Great Disciple of Hongseong, I’ve given up and thrown away so much… Ah, I’m glad I didn’t give you up.
With a melting smile and tears of joy streaming down her face, she spoke while holding me.
– I’m glad I love you.
That was my reaction when I accepted her confession.
Though it was just imagination, it was so sweet.
And behind that sweetness, naturally, the opposite thought came creeping in.
– I see.
It was a voice like a blade digging into my spine.
She didn’t cry. She simply looked at me with a completely emotionless expression.
– …After all, I’m just the Senior Sister of the Hongseong, and should be the elder sister to my junior disciples. I’m the Falling Sun Sword of the Murim and should be the inspector of the Murim Alliance.
Hongryeon was wrapped in the duties and responsibilities she had to carry.
And with that, she was erasing ‘Hongryeon’.
– I knew what was needed. I knew what I had to do. I knew that what I needed was not such emotions. If I had known it would hurt this much to maintain being ‘Hongryeon’…
From her emotionless face, a single tear trickled down.
As if she were giving up something precious within her.
Thus, she seemed to be trying to completely erase the existence of Hongryeon.
– Maybe it would have been better not knowing from the start.
Ugh, damn.
Imagining her face makes it all feel so real.
“Uh? Why does your expression look like that? Are you hurt?”
Just then, Chaejin approached, grabbing my arm. Seeing her always bright smile made me realize once again that the thoughts I had throughout the night had created this situation.
The thoughts you have create the situation.
– …Is it really true?!
If she had a tail, it would be wagging so much it might fall off.
Tears flowed down her face in joy, yet a bright smile lingered on her lips.
Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she was desperately trying to smile while tightly hugging me, unsure of what to do.
– Ah… I’m really… happy. Is this a dream? Huh. Huhuh… I’ve always dreamed of this moment. The day I can be by your side, always being recognized, validated, and trusted by you.
There was no strength in the arms holding me. She wanted to feel me just a little more, but worried I might get hurt, she gently rubbed her face against mine.
– Hehe. My everything. Only you complete me, only you lead me. So…
Gently kissing my lips, she smiled through her tear-stained face.
– I love you. Forever.
And of course, naturally, the opposite followed.
There stood a puppy abandoned, tears streaming down her transparent black eyes, her face in a daze.
Shoulders drooping, exuding sheer despair.
Chaejin stared at me, sobbing.
– …I can’t even earn your trust… I can’t even be accepted by you…
Without wiping away her flowing tears, Chaejin crumpled to the ground. Covering her face with both hands, she spoke as if it was a bitter confession.
– In the end… I’m just someone who is unloved and untrusted by anyone… Bound by chains you haven’t given me…
As if trying to tear away invisible chains, she brought her hands to her neck and looked at me longingly.
– Is there still any value in me…?
This isn’t right.
This is absolutely not right.
Last night, I contemplated various scenarios and variables, but thinking about what I saw in their minds seemed only to lead to more chaos, not less.
Perhaps she would fully turn into a raging demon under Simma’s influence, thirsting for blood and death.
“I’d rather kill you and run away with him than be robbed by you!”
And then she might start a knife fight.
No way. This cannot be allowed.
Scenarios aside, I absolutely cannot watch them fall apart like that.
So what should I do?
The truth is, I already knew the answer.
It’s just uncertain whether it’s possible or not.
In the end, to make it happen, I have to do better.
Looks like I’m going to have a tough time ahead.
But well.
It’s better for me to suffer a bit than to create a world where someone gets hurt, right?
