전생검신 93권 14화

I couldn’t help but ponder Aida’s question.

What if the Three Sovereigns had apologized in that moment? What would I have done?

“……”

After mulling over it for a while, I finally spoke up.

“I would have accepted them.”

“Why?”

“Because if they can apologize, there’s room for improvement.”

Isn’t that a pretty solid point?

Al Karda stared at me quietly for a moment before replying.

“Is that something a king of humans would say?”

“What do you mean?”

In response to my question, Al Karda spoke calmly, but it felt like a punch to my gut.

“Whether or not they apologized, the Three Sovereigns have been sacrificing, killing, manipulating, and devouring humans since the dawn of time. By human standards, their actions are an endless greed and great evil… Do you think a single apology can absolve all their sins?”

“……!”

“Your companions might agree with you, but do you really think those who have personally suffered at the hands of the Three Sovereigns throughout history would support your choice? The Mangnyang Zhuge Sa and the entire Zhuge Clan could also be indirect victims of the Three Sovereigns.”

Ouch.

I hadn’t even considered Al Karda’s perspective, so I was left speechless. But it wasn’t wrong, which made it hard to respond right away.

That’s true.

Except for Fuxi, the Three Sovereigns have caused countless massacres and deaths among humans. Not to mention the Emperor and the rest of the Sovereigns, even Nüwa and Shennong, who were kinder to humans, could wipe them out if things went south. Nüwa even ate immortals to sustain the Queen Mother of the West.

They never considered us equal; to them, we were like bugs, and the countless crimes they committed were beyond the realm of ‘forgiveness.’ In fact, no villain on earth could compare to the Three Sovereigns.

Most importantly… there was the case of the king who lost everything due to Yao and Shun during the era of water control. His rage was so intense that he turned into a Demon King and continued to exist even in this world. Even the villain Chi You fell because the Three Sovereigns treated humans as mere bugs.

‘Ugh…’

I was overwhelmed with confusion. After struggling to gather my thoughts for a long time, I finally found something to say.

“…But if they don’t even get a chance to apologize, how would the Three Sovereigns ever change and do good deeds? Whether person or deity, if their actions and results seem like a predetermined fate, they wouldn’t even think of changing.”

“That’s an interesting perspective. So you’re saying you can’t forgive them, but it would be nice if they at least apologized? No matter the intention of the perpetrators or victims, just as you wish?”

“W-well…”

I was fumbling…!

I was certain I had crafted a solid argument, so why was I being cornered again?

While I was stammering in confusion, Al Karda spoke again.

“For humans, knowing the true nature and intentions of the Three Sovereigns, it would be normal to wish for their permanent demise instead of accepting an apology and hoping for change. As long as the Three Sovereigns exist, humanity will always be treated like bugs.”

“……”

“Your desire for an apology suggests that you don’t view the Three Sovereigns purely from a ‘human’ perspective.”

“What are you implying?”

“Survival of the fittest.”

Al Karda leaned back in his chair, speaking with a slightly deeper tone.

“You desired an ‘apology’ as a way to transcend the law of survival of the fittest. You believe you can resolve power disparities through concession and coexistence. But did you think that way from the start?”

“Huh? From the start?”

“Did you have such thoughts when you faced the Three Sovereigns and were about to die by their hands back when you were weak?”

“……”

No…

As I fell silent, Al Karda continued.

“There were times when Jeon Wook descended and obliterated the world with you and your comrades. Even after that, your countless deaths were influenced by the Three Sovereigns, directly and indirectly. During all that time, did you ever forget your resentment against them to the point of demanding an apology?”

“That’s…”

“If you can demand an apology after going through all that, doesn’t that mean you’ve already transcended human limitations? You’ve become a [Great Being] capable of not being bound by the grudges of your human past.”

“……!”

I couldn’t help but flinch at Al Karda’s words.

He wasn’t just trying to trap me in a corner; he was indeed hitting a nerve. The Three Sovereigns had been nothing less than my nemesis in my past lives, and my companions had suffered greatly because of them. To think I could just forget that grudge and ask for an apology was a reflection of a change in my mental state.

‘Hmm…’

After contemplating in silence for a while, I realized this was likely related to the path I needed to take moving forward, making it a crucial matter.

Then, I finally spoke.

“I can’t deny it. It’s true that gaining divine power has changed how I view the world.”

“Admitting that is tantamount to agreeing?”

“…No. I have something to say.”

“Go ahead.”

“If, after defeating the Three Sovereigns, peace returns to the world and everything ends, I wouldn’t need to demand an apology from them. But in my past life, I learned that they weren’t the ultimate evil either, and there are far larger and more sinister beings lurking in the world.”

“Like me.”

“……”

It’s hard to counter that when the outer god itself says it…

I took a moment to gather my thoughts before speaking again.

“You and other outer beings have definitely surpassed the Three Sovereigns. But it also seems that your greatness prevents you from intervening in this world much. Am I wrong?”

Al Karda glanced at me, wiping his transparent glasses before responding.

“You’re not wrong. Apart from unique cases, we merely observe.”

“Even excluding you, beings like Nyarlathotep and the Evil God are incredibly malicious and powerful. For all I know, there could be others lurking in the universe that match them in wickedness.”

“There are.”

“……”

Wait… You’re serious?

I didn’t think it was a possibility! But hearing an outer being say it makes it all the more alarming!?

‘Ah… I hope that’s not true…’

I was taken aback by that unexpected statement and shook myself to regain composure, replying.

“…Those beings would be a burden even for your kind, right? I still lack the power to confront them.”

“What do you mean by lacking power?”

“It’s not that I have no resentment against the Three Sovereigns. We still have unresolved grudges. However… if they aren’t the ultimate evil, then I should gather information about them and consider cooperating if necessary.”

“Are you saying you’d join forces to fight the ultimate evil?”

“I’ve been doing that all along.”

I tightened my fist as I continued.

“I’m not saying I will forgive the Three Sovereigns completely. If they’ve been deceived, perhaps we can solve the issue by working together. For that, a minimum level of attitude would be needed, which is why I thought about asking for an apology.”

“…I see.”

Al Karda seemed to have understood it all along but replied in a rather lackluster tone.

“So, as a king of humans, you intend to use whatever means available. Got it.”

“You could say that. After all, it’s not like that’s the first time I’ve done something like this.”

“……”

Al Karda stared intently at me before he added.

“Just remember that it’s merely a strategic choice, and don’t mistake your request for an apology as the mindset of a [Great Being].”

“Understood.”

“Good answer.”

Al Karda spoke without any expression, then posed a question.

“Do you have a reason for rejecting becoming a [Great Being]?”

I flinched.

‘D-different….’

That question felt different from all the others, striking a nerve in a way I couldn’t shake off.

It doesn’t seem like such a special question, yet there was a palpable presence emanating from Al Karda that made the air feel heavy. The feeling of being scrutinized by a presence beyond human understanding was chilling.

For some reason, I could clearly sense Al Karda’s intense fixation on this question.

‘Why?’

I couldn’t grasp the significance of this inquiry. I thought I understood Al Karda, but it turned out I didn’t understand him at all. What seemed like a normal conversation was merely an illusion; his essence was cosmic and abstract in ways I couldn’t comprehend, casting a shadow over my mind.

Still, I had to respond, so I hesitantly said.

“B-because I’m human, I don’t want to become a [Great Being].”

“Don’t want to? But everything you’ve done to gather divine power and enhance your abilities screams you want to become a deity. What do you think, every mortal mastering the demon path would agree that’s nonsense?”

“……”

“No matter what you think, your power has reached a divine level. You are indeed a god. There’s no demon sorcerer who would fail to call you [Ruler]. Why then, do you cling to being human?”

“Um… um…”

“Answer me. Why do you refuse to become a great one even with such power?”

Al Karda was pointing out my own contradictions.

I wondered if he was angry, but he wasn’t. He seemed to showcase the essence of an outer being for a different reason. I could sense that this dialogue held great significance.

‘Why do I…?’

I fumbled with my words before finally managing to respond.

“I just don’t want to… if I’m not human…”

“What do you mean?”

“W-well…”

That was a thought that came out without solid reasoning, but I realized I was expressing my true feelings. So I scrambled to align my logic.

“If I become a ruler instead of a human… it wouldn’t be my life… I don’t want to change into something else… that’s why I just dislike it.”

“……”

“What should I say… anyway… if I can still hold onto my human side while possessing divine power… then once everything is resolved, I could go back to living as a human, right?”

As I spilled out the deepest thoughts in my heart, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Truth be told, this was my sentiment all along, unspoken during my past lives. I could wield divine power as a means to an end and give it up after resolving everything. After all, I had never imagined or wished for a life as a god, making this my most fundamental desire.

Then, Al Karda’s cold response came.

“What if you can’t let go of divine power?”

“……?!”

What?!

At my startled expression, Al Karda continued.

“Seems you were unaware. You are already teetering on the edge.”

Wh-what do you mean?!

I felt a surge of terror, having never been more startled in conversation. Up until now, it felt like I was merely humoring Al Karda’s curiosity, but suddenly, the weight of reality crashed down on me. His words might completely overturn my entire existence plan.

I couldn’t contain my essential fear and shouted.

“What do you mean?! What do you mean teetering on the edge… and that I can’t let go of divine power?”

“……”

Al Karda pulled out a cigarette, standing up from where he was sitting at the Go board. He began to smoke slowly by the window, then spoke.

“Did you think that the divine [power] was completely detached from your essence? Sorry, but it isn’t. While the physical body and divine power are somewhat distinct, in the end, they are all just fragments of chaos.”

“……I-I don’t understand…”

“Baek Woong, how much divine power do you currently possess?”

“……”

“You possess an immense amount of divine energy. You even have the power of [Name] inscribed directly on your body. That’s akin to what the [Old Ruler]s who were born from chaos did. The fact that your human essence hasn’t been compromised is solely because you strongly desire it not to.”

Al Karda took a puff from his cigarette, holding a moment of silence.

“…You’ve never questioned why the reincarnated Dharma went mad, have you? It was because he did what you are doing now.”

I jolted at Al Karda’s words before awakening a memory.

“The fusion of all demons…?”

“Correct. Dharma chose to fuse the body of the [Old Ruler] to directly enhance his power. There was no other way to grow stronger than the emperor or the evil god while maintaining human essence.”

“……”

“Ultimately, his soul couldn’t endure the consumption of the demon and reached a state where he could no longer reincarnate. But you, too, are as capable as Dharma, if not more so.”

Al Karda pointed his cigarette toward me.

“Whether it’s fusion of the [Body] or the [Name]… while there might be slight differences, ultimately, the power itself impacts your essence. Before long, you will reach a point where you can no longer separate your essence from your power by any means.”

“……!”

“You won’t be able to stay human. In truth, it’s unreasonable that you’ve managed to maintain your human essence up to now.”

Wh-what…?!

My face turned pale from shock and fear.

‘If that’s true… it means I’m bound to become an [Old Ruler]?!’

A tentacle monster?!

Ah, no, even if I’m not a tentacle monster, the form of any ruler I’ve seen was completely detached from humans…

So, am I destined to become a ruler against my will?!

I was so distressed that I turned to Al Karda and blurted out.

“I-I’ve never heard anything like that! You must be lying…”

“I have no reason to lie to you.”

“……”

“The reason you haven’t heard any of this is simple. Your past comrades wished only for you to grow strong, while the divine beings you’ve met couldn’t fathom your desire to remain human while forsaking divine authority. Just because you haven’t heard it doesn’t mean I’m lying.”

…!

Is it true…?

But I still couldn’t accept it and shouted once again.

“Does the power of [Name] really erode essence? If it does, there should have been some signs…”

“Are you saying there were no signs? There were plenty. Didn’t you see the countless memories of illusions?”

“Y-Yeah?”

Illusions of memories?

What do you mean by that?

“You never understood why you achieved divine power at such a rapid pace, did you?”

Al Karda looked at me with cold eyes and continued.

“Simply absorbing many relics imbued with divine energy doesn’t mean you can reach your current level of power. Even gathering Jeon Wook’s statue a thousand times wouldn’t come close to your current divine energy. And no human can fully absorb the power of the gods indiscriminately. However, you successfully enhanced your divine powers using the fastest and most efficient method, precisely based on the [Name] etched into your arm.”

“……”

“Right now, you likely don’t understand what I’m saying. But the moment you go any further… you will irreversibly become a [Ruler].”

I strained my brain, attempting to comprehend Al Karda’s explanation.

Then, after a while, I finally regained some clarity.

“…Please tell me how to maintain my human essence.”

Given this situation, I needed to learn how to do it.

But Al Karda’s response came surprisingly simply.

“The method is simple. You must relinquish all your divine power.”

“W-What?”

“You’ll have to painstakingly dig out each [Name] that is engraved on you and erase every trace of blessings and divine favor. If you do that, you’ll be unable to utilize any divine powers or extraordinary abilities ever again and distance yourself from the path of the gods.”

“……”

“You could easily figure out this method without me telling you if you collaborated with your comrades.”

Ah… No…

That’s not what I want…

I was left speechless, and while I stood there in shock, Al Karda elegantly held his cigarette and continued.

“Why not try asking questions properly? You’re asking if there’s a way to maintain essence while keeping divine power, right?”

“……”

“That, too, is possible.”

Al Karda shot back in response and then sat back down at the Go board.

“However, isn’t it paradoxical? You want divine power while refusing to abandon your humanity… are you clinging to being human even while upholding this colossal contradiction?”

I felt slightly flustered, sensing he had struck a nerve.

“Isn’t it… wrong?”

“No way. In the vast universe, nothing is expressly ‘wrong.’ The allowance of any contradiction is the core essence of an omnipotent universe.”

I felt Al Karda’s emotionless gaze settle upon me.

“However, while nothing is impossible, causality exists. Your current thoughts and actions are strictly violating causality.”

“Huh? What do you mean by violating causality?”

“Why?”

Al Karda looked coldly at me and asked.

“You must know that taking on a human form with divine power is quite trivial. So, what’s your reason for refusing to become a great being, despite eternity and power?”

“Um… that’s…”

“Is that your only excuse?”

“……”

“Remaining human has no benefits. Even if you say losing your humanity doesn’t matter, haven’t you always claimed you can still communicate with humans even as a god? If you can communicate, why is becoming a god such a big issue?”

“Um… well…”

“You could simply claim you want to become a god. Yet here you are, asking me, an outer god, while still desperately wishing to remain human while holding onto divine power. Doesn’t that seem absurd?”

Each of his words pierced me profoundly.

He continued to point out how odd it is for me to persist on being ‘human’ at this point.

When I stumbled into silence, he prompted me again.

“Answer again. Why do you want to remain human?”

“Is that… really important?”

“Answer.”

As the energy from Al Karda’s gaze washed over me, it quickly morphed into an overwhelming fear. I felt my blood run cold and realized the being before me was indeed an outer god.

“Depending on your answer, I might reveal to you the method you desire.”

Al Karda was obsessively fixated on my response. The intensity of his attention was something I had never encountered before, indicating that this answer held great significance.

‘I must answer…’

But why is whether I’m human or not affecting an outer god’s librarian? I just couldn’t grasp it. Still, I tried to pour my heart into it.

“The reason I want to remain human is…”

At that moment, two answers flashed through my mind.

One was about living happily with my companions as a human.

And the other was—

I instinctively felt I must choose between the two, and at that moment, the agitation I felt earlier surged within me.

…If it weren’t for my previous experiences, I might have chosen the first answer.

I made up my mind to be honest with myself, and I chose.

“To become the Sword God.”