1251——————==

Soul of the Evil God

The 30th life has begun.

“Ugh….”

I frowned at the dull pain in my solar plexus. Thankfully, it was less painful than having my head chopped off, getting hit by a meteor, or the sun exploding. The pain subsided quickly. As the ache faded, I sat in the barn, taking a moment to think.

“My 29th life was a bit chaotic….”

Literally felt like I was being dragged around by my nose. I went to many places, but when it came down to what I actually gained, I struggled to find the words. I experienced all kinds of events, but nothing became clear.

“Damn. Is this how it is sometimes?”

An unsettling feeling I had never experienced before while being reborn! I couldn’t hide my discomfort and shook my head.

“…Should I think a bit more?”

But as long as it’s not the worst-case scenario, it’s fine. After all, I was reborn, gaining a new opportunity, right? I decided to stay relatively positive and calmly pondered what I needed to do.

First, I decided to reflect on what the Zhuge Clan had said.

“They gave me three tasks….”

First: Unite the Three Sovereigns to fight against the Evil God.

Second: Use the Four Great Spirit Deities to channel my overflowing magical power towards the void, and get closer with the Four Greats.

Third: Before the Evil God seeks out the World Tree for a quick resurrection, go to Jeogok and prevent him from joining the Evil God’s side.

As I contemplated these three tasks, I realized one connection.

“The first and third tasks are linked.”

Preventing Jeogok from joining the Evil God’s side is essentially the first step towards uniting the Three Sovereigns. But it also hit me how tremendously difficult those two tasks were.

Could I really persuade the Three Sovereigns to unite?

Though the Three Sovereigns are mostly in hiding and the Five Emperor are fragmented, they are indeed some of the most powerful Rulers in the universe. With my current power, it would be easy to make contact with each of them to gain some benefits, but to lead their alliance? That seemed impossible. They wouldn’t take a mortal’s words to heart easily, despite not wanting to be treated like a bug, from what I had experienced thus far.

“…But the Zhuge Clan said it would be possible if I used the information and knowledge I’ve gathered so far.”

I had no choice but to trust what the Zhuge Clan said. While I believed I could do it somehow, I also felt the weight of difficulty bearing down upon me.

“But this is such a grand goal. It’s so big that I can’t see what I should do right now.”

I could feel the problem with having such a grand goal. It was so massive that I couldn’t focus on what needed doing right away. The Zhuge Clan must have given me a direction based on the assumption that I would find the clues myself.

I felt a need to set clearer and more tangible goals.

“If there’s something I can do right now, it’s probably attacking the Four Great Spirit Deities…”

Woosh

I immediately closed my eyes and accessed the Four Great Spirit Deities. I had a premonition that the spirit around Lun wouldn’t be very friendly towards me.

“Looks like the area around Lun is pitch dark. He’s not fond of my presence.”

If I reached out, it would likely result in a repeat of the time I almost died capturing Vajra early in my previous life. Having already discovered the solution in my 29th life, I released my meditation and murmured as I returned to reality.

“I’ll have to offer some rituals to the water spirit, Xuyou.”

That meant I needed to hurry and unlock Xuyou’s seal for the ritual offering. As I thought that, I stood up, only to suddenly collapse as my legs lost strength.

“……”

This is tough….

I wasn’t entirely drained, yet I felt like all my mental strength had been completely sapped. I figured that even if I had to fight someone in this state, I wouldn’t be able to exert the same enthusiasm as before. Experiencing such a situation was unfamiliar to me, so I felt a bit panicked.

“Damn it… It’s not like someone is pressuring me with their power, but I just don’t want to get up.”

Am I out of physical strength or energy?

No, that’s not it. My mind was fully occupied with thoughts of rushing out to gather treasure and move quickly. My body felt completely fine. Yet, for some reason related thoughts didn’t seem to reach my limbs, and they felt as heavy as if cotton had soaked up water.

Why is this happening…?

I pondered for a while, sitting blankly in the barn.

Moo –

Hwanggeum came over, crying and rubbing her nose against me. I absentmindedly patted Hwanggeum while staring blankly into space, my mind devoid of thought.

“This isn’t the time to be wasting like this.”

I should be moving quickly to accomplish something, yet here I was, wasting time meaninglessly. I felt ridiculous, but I still didn’t want to move.

Before long, I felt the words of the Asura springing up in my mind.

[It’s a simple problem… So just rest.]

[Do as you please.]

A simple conversation from before my last life ended. It was just passing words, yet why did they stick in my heart so much?

In that moment, I realized why I felt so down. I chuckled ironically.

“Ha… Hahaha. Hahaha.”

So that’s it.

I might be fully loaded with energy and strength – but my willpower is completely drained.

The drive to move forward, regardless of my will, has run dry deep within my heart…

It didn’t happen all of a sudden. I had already sensed it would come to this at the end of my 28th life. When talking to the Zhuge Clan or Cheon Woo-jin, I was already fatigued, and though they understood me, they couldn’t freely offer comfort due to their positions.

Too many serious and dangerous situations had piled up, and I had fought through them without the energy to feel the emptiness that followed. That genuine aftermath had only begun to flood over me now.

It’s simply foreign.

Feeling drained of willpower was something I had hardly felt since my first life. Back then, living such a lowly existence, I frequently collapsed under the pressure, but I hadn’t experienced anything like that since.

“I was full of motivation after gaining the rebirth ability as the Heavenly Secret.”

Whether I would die helplessly or be killed with empty hopes, the power of rebirth always promised me that there would be a “next.” That indeed provided a monstrous drive! As long as there’s a next chance, even if I feel weak now, I only feel frustrated, not devoid of my determination.

If I keep thinking about not having tried, I can’t help but be full of motivation. Moreover, thanks to the ever-growing power and knowledge I gather each time I reincarnate, my drive to act has always been abundant. It was clearly different from my first life, when I was so powerless I couldn’t make any choices.

But the enemy, Emperor Gong Sun Xuanwen, was just too powerful. Thanks to all kinds of coincidences and miracles, I succeeded in sealing him, but at the cost of losing all my companions and barely surviving under his sympathy. I was overwhelmed by the sheer size of the enemy challenging me with superior strength. My experiences of being dragged along by the Emperor’s law of cause and effect had also taken their toll.

“Baek Woong!! Get up!! Let’s go find the Heavenly Secret! Let’s gather treasures and locate the strategists!!”

Suddenly, I yelled out. I thought that if I enumerated what I had to do, I’d get triggered into action by my own words.

Moo –

But only Hwanggeum cried, and I didn’t move or get up. My mind was active, but it meant my true feelings had already run dry.

“Am I supposed to cry and feel sad in a moment like this?”

But not at all. I have felt profound sadness a few times, but the emptiness I feel now is utterly different from that sadness. If sadness could be unleashed, I might find clarity again, but I’m so empty that there’s no sorrow left to express. I’m being swept away in complete exhaustion.

Is emptiness something that exists?

It should absolutely be nonexistence, yet if only emptiness remained, wouldn’t that itself be existence?

What I’m feeling right now is incomplete, something that can never reach complete void, just a shell of something remaining.

“……”

I’ve been thinking too much. When I think too much, it usually isn’t a good sign. I’ve felt stifled by the burdens of thought many times before, but right now even that stifling sensation has become meaningless, and I feel myself start to close the doors to my heart.

“Ah….”

Unintentionally, I blurted out what should be the most natural statement for a reincarnator.

“I want to die.”

I’ve wanted to die many times, but I’ve never wanted to die like this.

……

I sat quietly in the barn for what felt like several moments without moving. I could be rushing out right now, making the most of my time, but I was wasting precious moments. However, I felt so empty inside that I lacked the will to act.

Then, as I sat there, someone entered the barn.

“Cow dung, you rascal!! Why aren’t you cleaning up the cow dung, tilling the fields, and filling the water buckets?!”

That voice was so familiar yet felt like it hadn’t been heard for over a decade.

I couldn’t help but chuckle a little fondly.

It was the village chief’s voice.

“Profit…. Did your ears get stuffed?”

When the village chief saw me standing still in the barn, he had an angry expression and smiled slightly.

“Based on past experiences, if the village chief is really angry, he’d probably smack my face with a pile of hay. Kicking me just hurts, but being hit by that could seriously injure me.”

I could dodge it with my eyes closed. No, I don’t even need to dodge. I could send the village chief rolling with the Protection Energy Technique.

“Go ahead and hit me….”

But for some reason, I couldn’t bear the thought of retaliating.

I almost wanted to offer my cheek, seriously…

Because as soon as I respond to the village chief, I feel like I would grab that thin thread of willpower and move again.

Yet, after searching for a bundle of straw to hit me with, the village chief sighed after a while and said.

“Ha! That’s enough. Don’t make me worry, kid. All the youngsters are alike in being lazy.”

“……”

“You didn’t move quickly, so there’s no food. Come out and work.”

The village chief said that and left. I couldn’t even muster a laugh, just staring blankly into the void.

“Is this really…. is this really how pathetic my existence has become…”

Right. I was so thrilled to escape the mundane cycle of this pitiful life and become an escort, but I eventually realized that even that was a lower existence and fell into despair. After gaining the rebirth ability, every moment became a source of motivation – little did I know it would end up like this.

In that moment, I had a ridiculous thought I would have never entertained in normal circumstances.

“…Should I just… do as I please?”

Since I had been thinking about doing something fun for ages, why not give it a shot now?

It held no meaning.

There were no efficiencies or gains to be had.

Someone might even scold me for doing it.

But even if it’s meaningless – I just want to try!

I had ignored this village endlessly because the scale of my adventures had become too massive, but just this once…

“What a foolish act. Why would I do such a thing?”

However, even with such rational thoughts, I suddenly became aware that I was grinning.

“Hehehe.”

As I recognized that smile, I truly realized I was not just Baek Woong, a pure and noble hero.

I felt a thrill similar to the childish excitement from playing tricks as a child.

I needed something to play with, something that had been intertwined with me since the past.

“Should I go for it?”

For the first time, I felt motivation stir within me.

A sense of liberation filled me as I broke away from the standard of only acting efficiently.

Woosh

I sprang up and dashed out of the barn. This time, my destination was not the cave where the Heavenly Secret resided; instead, I quickly made my way towards my new goal.

Is this the village chief’s house?

“Huh?”

The village chief, who had just been about to leave for work, turned startled as I barged in while he was having a meal with his family.

“Cow dung, why are you here all of a sudden…?”

“Argh!! Don’t you dare eat, you bastard!”

“What…?”

“This world is falling apart, and you guys are living in peace! Am I the only one working here!!”

I rushed in and flipped over the village chief’s dining table.

“This damn table!”

Crash

The table flew through the air. At the same moment, I dove in to seize the bloodlines of the village chief, his family, and the nearby servants all at once.

Tremble

As the village chief stood frozen, stripped of his bloodline, I released him while proclaiming.

“Hey! Listen up!!”

Grabbed

I yanked the village chief by the collar, growling.

“From today onwards, I am….”

I yelled out, but my mind wandered.

What am I going to gain by ruling over this rustic village? I was about to get tangled up with the Three Sovereigns, while demon kings lurking around the world were trying to drag everything into calamity. If it continues, the Evil God will surely resurrect!

“I…”

But what does it matter?

If I want to do it, is there really a need for a reason?

If I had to provide a reason, it would simply be something I wanted to try at least once since my first life.

“I’m the village chief of this village!!”