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People are beings who mourn their losses.

They feel greater pain from losing what they have than from not having anything at all.

Thus, even knowing that letting go of what’s in their hands will lead to multiplied pain in the future, they cannot open their palms and, despite needing to release what they hold, they allow it to rot in their grasp.

It doesn’t matter whether it has form or not.

They hold on because they want it.

They hold on because they do not want to discard it.

They hold on because they do not want to lose it.

That’s why Lee Jae-soon had no choice but to suffer.

One day, by a twist of fate, a lucky notebook was trying to slip from his fingers.

“No, no….”

The notebook, which had entered his embrace like the wind shaking his grip, was now trying to escape just as it had come.

They say what’s obtained easily vanishes easily.

The luck that had come to him was trying to slip away as emptily as it had been forced upon him by someone else.

“Pages… the pages are running out… damn it, damn it, damn it…!”

The notebook.

The pages were dwindling.

With every offering made for information, the remaining pages grew visibly thinner.

Lee Jae-soon simply could not accept that fact.

No, he didn’t want to accept it.

He didn’t want to believe that this was reality.

“If I don’t have this, if I don’t have this….”

What did the notebook mean to him?

It was the wings for his success, the treasure that pulled him out of the sewers, the polish that would make his life shine brilliantly, and the radiant sunlight that would help him grow.

And yet, it was disappearing now.

“If I don’t have this, damn it. Damn it, like before….”

He had been recognized because he had information.

Though his companions were jealous, they clung to him for the little crumbs, and even his seniors, who used to disregard him, were making efforts to befriend him.

Reporters from the social and political departments were also building connections with him, and he had become friendly with the editor-in-chief, someone he usually barely saw. Moreover, he even received words like, “You know, I might not trust anyone else, but I can trust your articles now. Write however you want, don’t worry. I’ll take responsibility!”

Everything.

Everything was flowing smoothly.

But what if the notebook disappeared now?

What if he could no longer obtain the information that had earned him this recognition?

“Damn it, no. No. It can’t be this way. For crying out loud, no.”

It was a fall.

A fall.

If you’re soaring through the sky and your wings disappear, it’s only natural that you crash to the ground.

He would be back in the sewers like before.

And the pain from such a high fall would undoubtedly be even greater, making it impossible to endure a trivial life crawling through the sewers.

His companions would, instead of jealousy and rivalry, mutter, “I knew it.” “If you don’t have real skill, you can’t rise high even with so much luck,” and they would scorn him, while his seniors would treat him like trash.

The editor who had once trusted him would treat him like a nonentity, and reporters from the social and political departments would cut off contact with him as if nothing had ever happened, treating him like a stranger.

His dream of returning to the social department would be shattered, and he would be forced to end his journalist career while crawling through the sewers….

“Such a thing must not exist…”

It was horrific.

Just thinking about it made him want to vomit.

Lee Jae-soon absolutely did not want to return to that life.

He didn’t want to experience or know the feeling of someone who falls from a high place to the ground.

He wanted to rise.

The notebook.

Yes.

Through the notebook’s help.

“W-wait. If he, that person wants to meet me…”

Lee Jae-soon thought.

He needed to restore the notebook.

And to restore it,

To increase the pages of the notebook,

“Just like before, I need to meet at the same time, in the same place, right?”

He needed to meet the person who had given him the notebook.

—

“Why…? Why?”

He summoned up his courage and took a step forward.

He walked down the eerie road he hadn’t traversed since encountering the assailant, bravely treading beneath the broken streetlight, despite the darkness lurking beneath it. He successfully arrived at the exact spot where he had encountered the assailant, at the same time as before.

He had summoned all his courage for the notebook.

Yet….

“Why is no one here…?”

There was no one at the meeting place.

The hunchback making metallic sounds was nowhere to be found, and despite searching every alley and park, the golden mask could not be located.

There was no one.

The assailant.

His benefactor who had gifted him the notebook.

No one.

“Why, why…?”

He had come filled with courage.

He had come to the time and place as the assailant instructed.

So why was there no one?

“No. Today is just an anomaly. Yes….”

—

The following day, Lee Jae-soon walked the same path again.

He crossed through the park at the same time and stopped at the same place.

And he waited for the assailant to appear.

Hopelessly.

But even as the darkness beneath the streetlight broke apart under the sunlight, the assailant did not make an appearance at all.

“Where is he…?”

Even as the sun rose, illuminating the world,

Even as the darkness vanished completely,

The assailant was nowhere to be found.

—

The next day.

The next day after that.

The day after the next day.

The assailant was nowhere to be seen.

He simply could not be found.

It felt as though encountering the assailant had been a mirage, merely a hallucination from fatigue, utterly impossible to find.

The only proof of the assailant’s existence was the notebook, whose pages he had exhausted.

“I’ve used all the pages. They’re all gone… please, come out. Please!”

Lee Jae-soon relentlessly searched for the assailant.

He walked the same path at the same time and, instead of going home to sleep, lay down on a bench in the alley or park.

Perhaps he could encounter the assailant if he didn’t return home.

Perhaps he could miss a chance to meet the assailant so easily.

Thus, Lee Jae-soon repeated his life as a homeless person.

That became one day.

Two days.

Three days.

Naturally, as it became a routine, his appearance became shabby, a foul odor began emanating from his body.

Moreover, his beard grew unkempt and unattractive, his hair matted and giving off a terrible stench. He hadn’t changed his clothes or underwear properly, so they too started to stink, and the stress led to gas building up in his stomach, causing terrible burps.

And it didn’t stop there.

His work was also affected.

Entirely consumed with finding the assailant, Lee Jae-soon had been unable to perform his duties as a journalist and had wasted time without successfully writing any articles for days. Additionally, he didn’t make any particular efforts to gather information.

If his notebook was out of pages, he should have been actively seeking information by meeting people, yet he was solely fixated on restoring the notebook.

In some ways… it felt like watching an addict deeply entrenched in something.

“Hey. What’s wrong with you?”

People who saw him looked at Lee Jae-soon with concern.

No matter how you looked at it, Lee Jae-soon’s condition seemed off.

He appeared to be on the brink of becoming a wastrel, which naturally led to worry.

Though that concern wasn’t overwhelming, it was a mix of, ‘He smells and seems annoying, so I don’t want to get too involved,’ and ‘Why is he acting like that all of a sudden? Did something happen?’

Even the ‘senior’ spoke to Lee Jae-soon.

“Hey Jae-soon. What’s going on with you lately? Is something wrong? You seem unable to do your work properly. If you’re having a tough time, feel free to talk to me. I mean, as a senior, I can at least lend an ear to your troubles. Sharing your worries could lighten your heart a little, right?”

It sounded like a caring remark.

But in reality, it was laced with a reprimand of ‘Aren’t you doing your work properly?’

Of course, the reprimand was rather gentle.

After all, Lee Jae-soon had produced some excellent articles.

He had been the one to consistently unleash incredible articles, so it wouldn’t do to be too harsh with him.

Thus, it could only be subtly suggested for now.

However, if Lee Jae-soon continued down this path… that subtle reprimand would gradually become more overt, leading to words resembling the harsh insults he usually heard.

“Damn it. It’s already showing. Already a sign of falling. What the hell!”

Lee Jae-soon felt as if a sharp blade was approaching from behind.

Slowly.

But surely.

A sharp knife was closing in to stab him in the back.

As time passed, it would surely pierce him, and the pain would cast him back into the sewers.

“No, I must find it quickly.”

As the signs began to appear, Lee Jae-soon’s heart grew more frantic.

“Please come out. Please. I’ll pay any price, just please come out!”

Please.

Please come out.

“I’d even consider selling my soul, so please show yourself—!”

Lee Jae-soon prayed and prayed.

“Please let the assailant be there.

Please let me meet him today.”

He moved with heartfelt urgency.

And then.

“Hey there, young man.”

He could finally meet him.

“Have you come to realize what your desires truly are?”

 

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