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Memories Resurface

Memories begin to surface.

Most of them are from my previous life.

Events following my mother’s departure. I saw myself gradually breaking down.

The time when I shattered and threw objects. My appearance as I tormented the servants.

Those years of yelling over trivial matters.

Someone worrying about me. The version of myself that viewed even my own feelings with malice.

As I continued to deteriorate day by day, someone was watching me from afar.

‘Father?’

Was he crying or angry? My father was watching me from a distance as I huddled there, withering away. When was this memory from? I couldn’t say for sure. It was hard to even claim it as my memory.

I hadn’t even realized I had such memories.

So, is this an illusion? That seemed like a reasonable thought, but it didn’t quite feel like that.

Then, could this truly be a memory? A memory I did not know?

‘Why?’

Why is it surfacing now? I couldn’t make sense of it.

Also.

‘Why does he have that expression?’

Why was my father looking at me with those eyes? He always seemed expressionless, yet something felt different.

What kind of eyes are those?

Disgust, or perhaps disdain? Back then, I thought those were the only feelings my father had toward me, yet his current gaze was different. Within those indifferent, expressionless eyes, there was a trace of concern.

Concern? My father is worried about me?

He observed me from a distance without approaching. His hands and feet moved slightly, as if contemplating whether to come closer.

After staring for a long time, my father suddenly shut his eyes tightly and turned away.

Why?

Why couldn’t he approach and why did he turn away? Why did he make that expression?

I didn’t understand anything.

At that moment, the scene abruptly changed.

When was this? Judging by my age, it looked about the same as now. Ah, I think I understand.

It must have been shortly after I became the Lesser Clan Leader.

-You still haven’t pulled yourself together. How long do you plan to live like this?

My father had an unusually angry expression.

What made him so angry? I recognized the period, but not the situation.

It makes sense since shortly after becoming the Lesser Clan Leader, there were quite a few occurrences like this.

My lips pouted and I retorted.

-Why? Are you suddenly deciding to care now?

Even I could tell my expression was unusually rude. How could I make such a face?

Moreover, I was even uglier back then, before my skin shed.

-Why are you trying to do what you’ve never done before? Just leave it like usual.

-…

My father, who had been angry, fell silent at my words.

Perhaps I had been terribly scared inside.

Still, the reason for his anger must have been all the pent-up feelings he had.

Of course, even so.

-If you’re just trying to be a father now, I don’t need that.

That attitude of mine couldn’t be justified.

I was such a fool.

-…

My father didn’t say a word. After a long, tense stare-off between us.

-…Leave.

The verdict fell.

-You are to reflect in Hanam until punishment is decided.

-Yes, I shall do so.

With that parting shot, I closed the door and left.

What exactly did I do wrong? What mistake had I made to receive such a punishment?

I couldn’t recall everything I had done.

All I knew was…

After I left, my father rubbed his forehead and let out a deep sigh.

That expression felt oddly familiar.

‘Why…?’

Why do I keep seeing this?

Once again, the scene shifts.

This time, it was a day when rain fell steadily.

My heart sank. I recognized that day immediately.

My father, collapsed and bleeding. Suddenly aged, with wrinkles sprouting everywhere and hair turned completely white.

His once vibrant red eyes were gradually fading.

It was then.

The day I killed my father with my own hands.

The final conversation with my father as his breaths grew shallow.

This was undoubtedly a memory from that day.

-I forgive you.

The day he said he forgave me for making him kill me with his hands.

-Live.

As he commanded that foolish son of his to live, his breath too was faltering.

It was a memory I didn’t want to see.

So wretched and disgusting that I wanted to erase it forever if I could.

If I could intervene, I would want to rush over and crush that guy.

[You couldn’t break free from that time.]

The words of the Technique of the Flame Wheel echoed in my mind.

I understood. I was still lingering in that moment.

In the cold, rainy weather.

The lips of my father who had been breathing out warm steam were slowly closing.

Life was slipping away.

I sat there, quietly watching my father.

And my father was watching me.

My eyes widened as I witnessed the scene.

Was it because I was seeing childhood memories?

I realized too late.

‘…His eyes.’

From the first time I started to see this memory until now.

My father’s gaze toward me was the same.

I had thought it was full of disdain, anger, and hatred. But my father’s eyes were still filled with concern, just like the first time.

Why was he worried about me? Why didn’t he loathe or hate me?

Then, did he never actually hate me to begin with?

My head spun. If my previous life was indeed like that.

‘Then what about now?’

What is my father’s gaze like now?

What did his eyes look like when he looked at me?

As I pondered this, I realized.

Ah, I’ve never truly faced my father’s gaze in either my previous or current life.

So, I really don’t know whether he looked at me with those eyes.

It makes me feel heavy inside.

At the same time, I recalled. Was this something I was unaware of? Or had I simply not wanted to know?

‘…It must have been the latter.’

It was surely so.

[I dislike you.]

I understood the words of the Flame.

I disliked myself as well.

[Why are you alive?]

I want to ask myself. Why am I still alive?

I simply wanted to live. I answered that way, but it felt insufficient to be just that.

Even knowing that, I needed to live. No, I had to live.

Why? I had often pondered over the Flame’s question, but for some reason, it seemed I was beginning to understand it now.

-Live.

My father’s words stuck in my heart.

-Live for me.

-Live well.

-Live.

The words he had spoken to my broken self echoed back in a myriad of voices.

Everyone expressed the same sentiment with different voices and tones.

Why did those words resurface now?

It felt as if they were trying to tell me the reason I was alive.

Narrow-minded and pathetic.

I, who only remembered their words now, trying to use that as justification. It felt so trivial and insignificant.

Is this acceptable?

I didn’t know.

Currently, more than anything, I just wanted to see my father.

As I thought that, my clouded vision cleared up.

*

Woo Hyeok.

My eyes were foggy and my ears felt muffled.

Tinnitus echoed all around me.

All my senses seemed to be blocked. It felt suffocating.

That feeling was but a moment, as little by little, my senses began to return.

The first to come back was my sense of smell. It felt like my blocked nose had opened up, and the scent filled the air.

It was a stale, dusty aroma. Amidst it, there was an unknown floral scent mixed in.

What is this? Why does it smell like flowers?

As I contemplated this strange sense that I couldn’t comprehend, next came the sense of touch.

It was constricting. It felt like something was binding my body.

What is this? Why is it so suffocating?

Though I couldn’t see, as I attempted to move my body, my vision returned like a ghostly apparition.

At first, everything was blurry, but it too gradually became clearer.

Only then did I realize.

Why did I feel so suffocated as if my body was bound? I was genuinely tied up.

Not with ropes, but with hands and bodies that were tying me up.

‘…So that’s why it smelled like dust and flowers.’

That strange scent made sense now.

Dust was normal for a place like this, while the floral scent belonged to those binding me.

The first thing I saw was the top of their heads.

White and blonde hair intertwined in one spot.

Naturally, it was Nangong Bi-ah and Wi Seol-Ah. They were holding me tightly.

I could also feel that the two were trembling slightly.

As I quietly looked at them, I asked.

“…What are you doing?”

Gasp!

At my words, the bodies of the two trembled greatly.

Then, the blonde one, Wi Seol-Ah, cautiously lifted her head from my chest.

When our eyes met, I was shocked.

Her face was a complete mess.

With sheer terror written all over it, her eyes were red and bloodshot, and tear streaks covered her cheeks.

“…You?”

Why are you acting like that? Just as I was about to ask.

“Waaah…!”

“Are you crazy…?”

Wi Seol-Ah suddenly burst into tears upon seeing me. Not just a little, but tears flowed down in torrents.

“Ugh, hey…!”

It was the first time I had seen Wi Seol-Ah cry like this.

Utterly flustered, I struggled to find a way to help her.

But I was still bound.

Though she seemed to have relaxed, Nangong Bi-ah was still holding me with all her strength.

In fact, her grip had intensified.

“Why is this happening…? Why are you crying like that?”

“Waaaaaah!”

It was a complete disaster.

Now she was wailing out loud. What should I do? I felt like I had to comfort her, but without the ability to move, how could I do anything?

Do I have to break free? Then I would need to use force…

Flame Burst!

“Uh?”

“Waaah…?!”

“…!”

As I pondered how to escape, an involuntary transformation took place within my body.

My body passed through the grasp of the two.

It felt as smooth as cutting through the void.

Suddenly, the two lost their balance and plopped down.

I looked down at my hands.

Flame Burst.

My hands had become flames.

Not just my hands. Although my body looked fine externally, I knew.

If I wished, I could turn this entire body into flames right now.

I didn’t know how this was possible, but I felt it intuitively.

‘…I reached it.’

This was undeniably a reach.

I had finally reached the end of a singular martial art.

Completion.

Right now, I was touching the pinnacle of the Technique of the Flame Wheel.

If it weren’t for that, this sensation wouldn’t exist.

‘How did this happen?’

How suddenly did I reach completion?

I had grasped the end of my senses, yet I couldn’t even make it my own, let alone hold it properly.

‘…Is it because of what just happened?’

The Technique of the Flame Wheel in my form. Did winning that fight lead to this?

It felt plausible. There was nothing else that came to mind.

The problem is.

“Why is this happening again?”

Both my body and the flames were changing.

Flame Burst–!!

The flames blooming from my hands twirled around.

It wasn’t the black color that contained demon energy.

Nor was it the blue I obtained from shedding my skin.

It was white.

A brilliant, pure white flame.

 

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