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Chapter 623: Choice and Decision.

Tap-tap-!

The smell of burning tickles my nostrils.

This place once held some kind of scenery, but it has burned away, losing its original form long ago.

Imagining how it used to be is futile now.

All that remains is a world consumed by blackened ash and smoldering embers.

“Looks like quite a mess.”

I couldn’t help but smirk at that sight.

It was not just anywhere; it resided deep in my heart.

This state of the world reflects how rotten and burned out my core must be.

“Damn it.”

I tried so hard to live properly, yet here I am.

Lowering my gaze.

Below this burning world, a small space clings to life.

I see a trembling child, barely managing to fend off the encroaching flames.

Tiny and thoroughly terrified.

[Hoo… Hoo….]

What a damnable memory.

“Hey.”

[…Hoo…?]

The child lifts their head at my call.

With wide, slit-like eyes, they possess a rather ferocious-looking face for a kid.

“Look at you.”

With a face like that, it’s no surprise they’d hear the word ‘ferocious’ their whole life.

“Haah….”

I sighed as I gazed at the child.

“What kind of pitiful sight is that?”

[Please… save me…!]

The child’s hand reaches out towards me.

Gently.

I feel their fingers clutching my pant leg.

[Please, please save me…!]

“…”

[I miss my mommy… please….]

That voice was filled with desperation.

A tiny, clear voice yearning to survive.

When was it?

“That I made such a sound?”

I rack my brain trying to recall, but nothing comes to mind.

“Nothing.”

Not once.

Not a single time.

Right after my mother disappeared, I never made such a sound.

So.

“Are you going to cry endlessly here?”

[Hoo… Hoo….]

“Shut up.”

[…!]

Upon hearing my words, the child abruptly stops crying.

“Don’t cry. Shut up. It’s annoying.”

[Gulp… Huh….]

“If you cry now, it’ll only hurt you. Life’s already going to hell ahead of you.”

There are countless times to cry.

Yet, suppressing it and holding back is necessary; what’s with the crying here?

[Mommy…!]

In the end, the child couldn’t hold their tears any longer.

Watching that, I released a deeper sigh.

“You don’t have a mom, kid.”

[…!]

Oh no. That was a bit of a slip-up.

It’s not that she doesn’t exist.

But.

“You won’t see her for… let’s say… thirty more years?”

Including my previous life, that was about the extent of it.

I was trying to look for her. But considering it this way, she was practically….

“Practically nonexistent.”

[Waaaah!]

“It’s too noisy. Want me to give you a whack?”

[Hoo….]

I crouched down to meet the child’s eyes.

“Did you want to live?”

[Hoo… Ugh….]

“I never thought so. Did you?”

I lived with the belief that life had no meaning.

Thinking that it wouldn’t matter if I died today, I carried on with my life.

“It seems you weren’t like that.”

Why does this child scream so much to live?

“Why do you want to live so badly?”

I couldn’t understand.

“Your life is hell.”

A life filled with suffering.

Though I did everything in my power to avoid such existence, here I am, facing it instead.

“Probably more so in the future.”

As a drop of something warm trickled down, I looked at my hand.

“Huh?”

Before I knew it, my palm was stained red.

All blood.

Drops were falling from my fingertips.

This was regret.

The regret I had tried so hard to forget.

How ridiculous. To express something like this.

I raised my hand to show the child.

“This is the life you’ll walk.”

[Hoo….]

“I don’t even remember how many I’ve killed.”

And.

I wouldn’t remember in the future either.

I’ve killed more than I could count.

And because I couldn’t, I wouldn’t remember.

“Was it necessary?”

That was a question directed at me.

“Did I really have to do it like this?”

The child in front of me trembles in fear, just as my world burns and fades away.

It felt like a question posed directly to me.

‘Did you have to live like this?’

Of course, I wouldn’t hear the answer.

I wouldn’t respond.

[Please, save me….]

The child still wished for life.

[I want to live….]

“…”

Seeing this, I couldn’t help but ponder.

Did I also wish for life?

Maybe I did.

The memory surfaced.

The first time I stood in the marketplace after my return.

Having been unable to grasp the situation properly.

I felt the bustling crowd and the overwhelming noise.

“I longed for this kind of scene, didn’t I?”

My peaceful days.

Even if they were the worst of times for me.

At that moment, I yearned for it.

So I must have felt relieved.

“Just the sight I saw at the moment of death. It was that day.”

[Want to eat some potatoes?]

That moment I met the child.

Regardless of how hellish the life ahead was.

That brief moment seemed to hold much meaning for me.

“But you know.”

Tap.

I stroked the child’s cheek with my blood-stained hand.

“I think I should stop this now.”

[Hii… Hiiik….]

“How long are you going to hesitate?”

The child trembled in fear at my touch.

[M-Mommy….]

They started crying like a baby.

Ah, I guess they are just a child.

‘To see myself crying like this.’

This was a somewhat new experience.

Even if it was an illusion.

Watching the trembling child, I continued speaking.

“Everyone keeps saying you shouldn’t exist.”

[Hoo….]

Swish.

The hand that had been rubbing their cheek moved.

The blood that had clung to my fingers left a trace.

I slowly brought my hand to the child’s throat.

Squeeze-!

I gripped it tightly.

[Huh-!]

A moan escaped the child.

Doubt.

And attachment.

That was this child’s name.

The hesitation that prevents me from moving forward.

The feeling I tried not to discard, those emotions I clung to.

Among them.

“The most useless one to me.”

That’s how I defined it.

I knew this part well.

“…And yet.”

The one I didn’t want to lose the most.

This child was that to me.

But.

“It seems I can’t keep doing that anymore.”

I could no longer afford to be stubborn.

Thus I grabbed the child by the neck.

Shudder, shudder, shudder.

I could feel the trembling in my grip.

Disgustingly vivid sensations.

“Truthfully.”

I spoke while gazing at that child.

“I didn’t want to abandon you.”

A sincerity never spoken to anyone.

“I still feel that way.”

The moment I abandoned you.

“I would have to admit it.”

I have to leave behind the ordinary life I once hoped for.

To become a dragon, leaving humanity behind.

That was the reality I was about to accept.

Though I thought I had decided to do so, there was still the part of me that couldn’t.

I always knew.

“I’m not human.”

I realized that long ago.

“I won’t be in the future either.”

I understand the inability to return.

Whether it was truly my choice remained a question, but—

“…But, you see.”

Aside from that.

“Even knowing that, it doesn’t come easy.”

Attachment.

I’ve always known my stubbornness better than anyone.

And yet, I was unable to act.

Why is that?

Why did things have to rot so deeply to this extent?

I don’t know.

Was it simply because I didn’t want to become a dragon?

Not acknowledging the dragon I’ve become wouldn’t make me human.

I knew that well.

‘From the moment I decided to become a demon.’

Since I let go of myself to protect someone.

I always understood.

It was too late to turn back.

‘Even knowing that.’

Though I was clearly aware, I couldn’t act.

Why?

Even I don’t know that well.

Was being human truly that important?

What was so critical about it that I pondered for so long?

I don’t know.

But now wasn’t the time to question that.

Unless I release this attachment.

“I can no longer move forward.”

I can’t protect what needs protecting.

My life has always been held in balance.

Always filled with choices.

I would choose the heavier option weighing on the scale.

I’ve always lived that way.

Though it’s late this time, I did the same.

“You were lighter than anything else. That’s all.”

Yeah, that’s all.

[Please, save me…!! I don’t want to die!]

I slowly tightened my grip around the neck.

[I miss my mommy…! Dad!!]

The child’s wailing echoed.

I had to ignore it.

I was killing something inside me.

What would change by doing this?

Could so much change from this act?

I didn’t know, but.

Still, I did it.

Squeeze-!

[Haaah….]

As I exerted pressure, despair filled the child’s eyes.

Tap-tap-!

The flames consuming the surroundings began to move again.

As if they sought to swallow the last bits of the space I had strained to empty.

“I’m sorry.”

The only words I could muster while looking at the child.

“I don’t know if there will be a next time.”

This would be my last with this child.

“Thank you. For everything until now.”

And so, I attempted to snap the child’s neck to bring an end.

An inevitable conclusion.

But then.

Clap-!

Within the burning flames.

Clap-! Tap-tap-!

I sensed something unusual.

The sound of the embers consuming everything began to slow.

…Tap.

At one point, there was no longer a sound.

“…?”

Feeling a peculiar sensation, I paused.

I looked around.

Then I understood.

The flames that had danced fiercely while burning everything around had all frozen in place.

“What the hell?”

They had been making such a racket just moments ago.

What kind of phenomenon was this?

Though a bit startled, I had no intention of stopping.

I brushed off the surprise and attempted to proceed again.

“Uh?”

When I turned my gaze back, my eyes widened.

The child I had been holding had vanished.

In the wake of this sudden situation, I froze for a moment.

Rustle.

“…!”

I realized something, flashing before my eyes instead of the child.

[Hoo…!]

It cradled my childhood, which I had just been watching until moments ago.

What the heck?

Staring at this unexpected figure, I furrowed my brow.

I couldn’t see clearly.

The shape blurred and was indistinct.

What is this…?

Ah, could it be?

“Is it Blood Qi?”

Considering that it had appeared before, could Blood Qi have shown up in a strange form again?

I thought to ask, but—

“Hmm.”

I was caught off guard by the voice that suddenly filled the air.

It was a woman’s voice.

Moreover, one that sounded oddly familiar.

‘But.’

I couldn’t recall.

Whose voice was it?

I couldn’t bring it to mind.

Is this another of Blood Qi’s tricks?

“This time, what are you trying to do—”

“I hoped for you not to make this choice.”

As I was speaking, my mouth was suddenly shut tight by the woman’s voice.

Under normal circumstances, I would have ignored it and continued speaking.

But for some reason, I couldn’t from that moment on.

“I was unable to avoid my stubbornness because of it.”

Her serene words inexplicably tugged painfully at my heart.

“In truth, I knew as well. I had prepared this all along.”

The woman gently held the child in her embrace, as if afraid of its cries.

“Due to desire, I postponed and postponed. That seemed to hurt you.”

I wavered.

Caught in the strange words, I felt my insides spiral.

“…Who are you?”

It wasn’t Blood Qi. ‘Instinct’ seemed to proclaim.

That woman was not Blood Qi.

Then who could she be?

Could it be…

“Divine Sword…?”

When I faced the Heavenly Demon at the Shinryong Temple, I had absorbed her energy after her words.

It was an issue I would one day need to resolve when encountering my mother.

Given that, I wondered if the one before me was the Divine Sword.

“…Haha.”

The woman merely chuckled gently in response.

For some reason, her voice sounded profoundly sorrowful.

“Close. But not really. I am not the child you wish for.”

Taking a step back, the woman turned.

And suddenly—

Whaaa—!!

“…Huh!?”

At the woman’s feet, the world full of ashes began to change.

Swoosh—!

Green grass sprouted over the blackened ground, wrapping around the area.

The decayed trees regained their lives, painted with color.

The space that had been devoid of everything transformed within mere seconds.

Clatter-clatter-! Clap-!

I could hear the waterwheel turning nearby.

Chirp! Chirp!

From the forest behind, the sound of birds chirping echoed forth.

Though my insides were rotting away completely, the results were reflected in this newfound world.

What in the world was this place?

In this dramatically transformed setting.

[Hoo….]

“Good.”

The woman calmly approached the dwelling, soothing the child.

With gentle grace, she sat on the floor, casually turning her gaze back to me.

Her gaze was unclear.

Though her blurred form and features made it hard to see, I could sense that she was indeed looking at me.

“…What are you? What’s your identity?”

I asked the woman, seeking answers.

To which she responded.

“I was once your heart.”

Thump.

That statement made my heart race.

“I have also been your eyes, ears, and legs. I was a sword, and moreover—”

She brushed the hair of the child held in her arms.

“I was everything of one man and the mother of a child.”

Swoosh.

A maple leaf fell silently onto her lap.

Unconsciously, my gaze was drawn to it.

“Right now, since you don’t remember me, for now….”

I could feel her voice tremble ever so slightly.

“Mu Myung.”

It felt as though she were fearful of expressing it.

“Call me that.”

 

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