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Chapter 435: Regret

As Dang Je-mun shot me a mysterious glance,

my eyes were solely fixed on the Poison Heavenly Pill beside the White Horse Stone.

‘…How many are there, exactly?’

Even a rough count revealed there were more than ten.

With this amount, it could easily buy out a mid-small clan if one exaggerated a little.

Of course, it made sense, considering that the Tang Clan couldn’t even produce the relics of the past anymore.

One of the characteristics of the Poison Heavenly Pill, aside from its concentrated inner strength, was another unique feature.

It was said to build resistance against poison.

By consuming the Inner Altar, one could develop immunity to toxins.

Though it’s a recorded fact, I’m not entirely sure of it.

It was merely inscribed that way.

Just eating it would provide tremendous inner strength and, unbelievably, immunity to poison.

A relic from the past that one couldn’t even buy for millions now.

‘Poison Heavenly Pill…’

It was rolling right in front of me.

If I merely passed the trial, it would be mine.

‘Even if I got it, I can’t use it right away.’

With the vessel in such an unstable state, absorbing energy equivalent to the Poison Heavenly Pill would likely shatter it.

‘But I can at least share it.’

There were plenty around me to give it to.

Considering the value of the Poison Heavenly Pill, I had to obtain it by any means necessary.

The same went for the White Horse Stone.

Normally, when a demon beast’s essence comes out, it loses its energy and color within days.

That is not the case for the White Horse Stone.

Right now, it had not lost an ounce of color or light and still contained immense energy.

‘Though I can’t say for sure since I’ve never seen another White Horse Stone before…’

Looking at that, I figured it might be on the right track.

I gazed at the White Horse Stone at the center and the Poison Heavenly Pill beside it.

‘Damn… this is Biwaegun.’

I was almost brought to tears just staring at it.

[Successor… are you crying?]

“Y-Yes… It’s tears of joy. Please don’t mind me.”

[Ah… okay.]

All the Biwaegun I had encountered up until now flashed through my mind.

The first was from the Geumcheon Clan,

the second was probably from Shinryong Temple,

neither of which felt like a real opportunity.

‘…Feels good to be alive. Now this, this is a chance.’

That was indeed an opportunity.

What other opportunity could be better than this?

The trashy Geumcheon Clan.

Thinking back, both were Biwaegun of Yeon Ilcheon.

Damn it. Those bastards.

Just because they are reincarnators, do they think they can do whatever they want?

I’m the one cleaning up the mess they left behind.

The resentment towards the previous reincarnators swelled up within me.

Though I hadn’t yet asked Dang Je-mun for it, the Poison Heavenly Pill felt like mine already.

“Senpai…”

[Yes.]

“May I pay my respects once?”

[…Huh?]

Dang Je-mun appeared somewhat aghast at my request.

Seeing that made me immediately nod to say never mind.

Yeah, that might have been a bit much.

“I was joking.”

[Successor… you certainly resemble Shin Cheol in the strangest ways.]

“That’s quite unsettling, you know?”

Of all people, to be compared to that old geezer made me seriously upset.

It must have seemed funny to her because Dang Je-mun covered her mouth and chuckled.

That woman has a sense of humor after all.

She looked so cool and detached, yet this unexpected side was delightful.

Feeling emboldened by that, I decided to ask something I had hesitated about.

“Senpai.”

[Yes.]

“Um… it’s not that important, but why did you place that next to the Poison Heavenly Pill?”

[?]

At my question, Dang Je-mun turned to gaze at the White Horse Stone.

[Oh.]

Then, as if she just remembered, she clapped her hands.

[It’s a trophy. It came from a demon beast I caught. I was going to brag about it when I met Shin Cheol.]

“…”

She spoke to me in a slightly raised voice.

It was unexpectedly adorable.

I initially thought there had to be some grand reason for its presence.

But it was simply for bragging rights…

‘That’s kind of ridiculous.’

I had to suppress the urge to laugh out loud.

‘Saying it’s from a demon beast she caught herself…’

Reflecting on the White Horse Stone, memories of Su-Dragon River flickered in my mind.

The river there was certainly due to the impacts of a B-Class demon beast that Dang Je-mun had caught.

‘Can that slender woman really possess that kind of power?’

A fleeting doubt brushed my mind.

The deeds of heroes from the past.

Each of them seemed equally competent compared to the Three Eminent Beings of today.

‘Just how…’

How powerful were they, really?

And if they were that strong, why couldn’t they defeat a single Blood Demon?

An unvoiced question lingered in my mind.

There was a difference between the tales of the past and the current flow.

That disconnect suddenly sparked doubt within me.

‘For now… this White Horse Stone is less important than the Poison Heavenly Pill.’

The White Horse Stone had rapidly fallen down my list of priorities.

What can I do? That’s life for everyone.

Shh…

“Shut it for a second.”

I pushed down the head of the Red Water Clan member who kept butting in.

[Successor.]

“Yes, Senpai.”

I lifted my head at Dang Je-mun’s voice.

In response, she wore a peculiar expression.

[…You seem different from the first time we met… Is it just my imagination?]

Difference in my demeanor, huh?

Of course!

Unlike those who offered trash while calling it an opportunity, this was a legitimate item.

If I were to bow my head, I could definitely do it more than a hundred times.

Since when did I become that proud?

‘When you’re starving and someone offers you food, they’re the master and god.’

This was the lesson I learned from my experiences of rolling around in life.

I turned to Dang Je-mun, who seemed a bit distant, and asked the question I had.

“Please tell me, Senpai. How do I take the trial?”

[…]

The requirement to gain that Poison Heavenly Pill was to take a trial.

I could take it whenever I wanted.

‘Was it a trial prepared for Shin Noya?’

If it truly was for him, then why go through the trouble of preparing such an annoying trial?

‘This must also be part of the arrangements.’

There must be some reason behind it.

In this situation, the only thing that bothered me was.

‘…Can I take all of Noya’s opportunities?’

If most of the opportunities I had gained up till now were prepared for Shin Noya,

could I really gobble them all up?

Noya said I could do it, so it should be okay.

‘Still, it just feels unsettling.’

That lingering self-loathing I couldn’t shake off was the reason.

Of course, I couldn’t back out now.

I had decided to do everything to prepare for the Blood Calamity, regardless of what it meant.

It was a situation where I had to consume all opportunities, regardless of whose they were.

Time was not on my side.

I recalled that fact yet again.

‘After all… this was an opportunity I probably wouldn’t have gotten regarding Noya.’

According to their wishes, whether Noya was reincarnated or possessed, he would succeed in reappearing on this land.

It might have been better to leave opportunities intact if he did reappear quietly.

Yet, from my experiences in the previous life, there was no precedent of someone like Shin Noya showing up.

Meaning.

‘Their plans have failed.’

Whatever they plotted, it didn’t pan out.

So.

‘I’ll take it and deal with that crap too.’

Might as well catch both the Heavenly Demon and the Blood Demon.

For your information, this was what Noya had said to me.

Since we needed to prepare against the Blood Calamity, wouldn’t it be better to handle it together?

At that time, I thought it was utterly nonsense.

But considering the situation, that was indeed needed now.

‘The old geezer probably harbored all these expectations, didn’t he?’

Did he foresee this situation unfolding?

That thought brushed my mind.

At that moment.

[Before we begin the trial.]

Dang Je-mun brought up a topic.

[There’s something I’d like to ask you.]

“Yes.”

She wanted to ask me something?

What could it be?

As I looked at her with confused eyes, she began.

[Have you ever experienced regret?]

“Eh…?”

Her question came quite unexpectedly.

And at the same time, it was digging deep into my wounds.

Have I ever regretted? Me?

‘Of course I have.’

It was a ridiculous question.

My whole life was nothing but regret; how could I not have experienced it?

“I have, deeply so.”

I shouldn’t have lived that way.

I shouldn’t have done that.

I shouldn’t have said that.

I shouldn’t have left you behind, under the excuse of doing it for your sake.

The fleeting memories ignited countless unspeakable regrets without clear subjects.

Dang Je-mun, looking at my expression, wore an astonished gaze.

What kind of expression must I be wearing for her to react that way?

Unfortunately, I had no means to verify it.

After a brief moment of silence, Dang Je-mun resumed talking.

[…Have you thought about overcoming that regret?]

“Overcoming regret?”

At her words, I couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

It was a clear mockery. This was a mistake.

I quickly tried to suppress my smirk and carefully spoke.

“…Regret is something that doesn’t get overcome or resolved.”

[Then?]

“It’s something we have to contain and carry with us. That’s how I perceive regret.”

[…]

Regret is akin to a remnant.

Living more in the past than the present, regret constantly chokes you.

Overcoming it?

No, that’s nonsense.

You just carry it along.

Because I know all too well that it is an unforgettable memory.

I merely take a step forward, recalling those moments.

‘Is this conversation part of the trial?’

That was the only thought flooding my mind.

I struggled to suppress the swirling thoughts and focused back on Dang Je-mun.

‘…Huh?’

As I took note of her expression, my eyes widened.

For some reason, she wore a sorrowful look.

[So, are you managing to move forward while holding onto that regret?]

As soon as those words came out of Dang Je-mun’s mouth, I was about to affirm it instantly.

However.

“…”

I couldn’t answer.

I knew that instinctive affirmation would be a lie.

That was the one thing I couldn’t bring myself to admit.

Dang Je-mun’s expression deepened as she looked at me.

Then, in a somewhat heavy voice, she said to me.

[Now, let’s begin the trial….]

Her words snapped me back to reality.

It felt abrupt, but the sooner we started, the better it was for me.

I needed to concentrate since I had no idea what might jump out at me.

With my tension rising, I kept observing Dang Je-mun as she spoke in a flat voice.

[The trial you will undertake has neither success nor failure.]

“Eh? What do you mean by that…?”

What do you mean by neither success nor failure?

Then how is the judgment of passing or failing determined?

[At the end of the trial, the thought you will have, regardless of what it is, does not matter.]

“Senpai?”

Dang Je-mun began to spout some cryptic nonsense.

Listening to her, unease began to swell within me.

When someone starts blabbering unexpectedly like that, it’s usually…

‘Just a chance for me to get screwed over.’

Caught in that unsettling thought, I wanted to call out to Dang Je-mun, but she continued.

[All I wish is for you to choose differently than I did.]

With that, Dang Je-mun extended her hand toward me.

At that moment.

Kwaddukk-!

“What?!”

The surrounding space began to distort.

I knew this was going to happen…!

As the situation unfolded suddenly, I desperately tried to escape, but the rift was already affecting everything, including me.

Through the distorted vision, I could hear Dang Je-mun’s voice.

[…Even later…]

Her voice carried a hint of laughter.

Or was it sorrow? Perhaps longing?

Since I didn’t really know her well, it was hard to distinguish.

[When you meet Shin Cheol, please deliver my message to him.]

I wanted to respond to her, but my voice wouldn’t come out.

Inside the warping space.

Only Dang Je-mun’s voice resounded.

[I’ve missed you. I truly missed you… so much. And… I…]

That phrase, filled with longing, remained unfinished.

The rift grew more potent, and my consciousness abruptly severed under the strain.

When I opened my eyes again….

“Guh…!”

I found myself lying in the center of an unknown pit.

 

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