---

“Life comes with suffering.”

No one lives without sorrow, and there is no life that continues without pain.

As we go through life, we endure countless agonies and torments, but we live with the hope that tomorrow will be better than today.

However,

“Colonel. When given a chance, speak clearly. If things go wrong, both you and I might die here today!”

“…….”

Indeed, will I be able to see the sunrise again?

Swaying back and forth in Veronica’s grasp, I quietly closed my eyes and sighed.

—

Episode 14 – One Religion, One Faith, Two Saints

—

Life is accompanied by pain.

It always has been.

Just as my mother had to bear the family’s responsibility alone after my father’s tragic passing, and as my grandfather wiped the dust off the photo book documenting my son’s military academy entrance and my grandson’s commissioning ceremony.

The same goes for crises.

From Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Venezuela, China, Iran, Pakistan, Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Israel, Turkey, to Vietnam, there have been countless times when my life hung in the balance as overseas deployment records easily exceed double digits.

It was true when I drove a van loaded with firearms and equipment past a government army checkpoint, and also true when I held my breath beneath the deck of a fishing boat while undergoing a coast guard search.

There were moments when I squeezed an injured informant into the passenger seat and desperately tried to shake off a tail, and times when I worried that I might die here as I was being extorted by an investigator from the intelligence agency.

For more than a decade, my life in the Information Agency had been akin to tightrope walking on the edge of life and death.

So much so that even the executives and directors who had brought me along with the thought of using me as a pawn would hint that perhaps it might be better to spare me from the field and put me into a desk job.

Though now just a memory tucked away in my heart, the bitter recollections of those hardships occasionally haunted me.

Maybe the reason I accepted Colonel Clevenz’s proposal to take a position as an advisor not long after joining the Military Intelligence Agency was because of those moments when I had been homeless on the street, giving my blood to mosquitoes. Although in the end, I was dragged back into the field after being selected as Camila’s colleague.

Nevertheless,

I can firmly say that even all the crises I faced over the past few years could not compare to the one I was facing now.

I rubbed my clammy palms on my pants, thinking to myself.

I’m screwed.

“Colonel.”

Veronica opened her mouth.

“Y-Yes.”

“Do you know the saying that it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission?”

The only two saints of the cult uttered the word ‘forgiveness’.

“When people find it hard to grant permission, those who struggle to ask for it often ask for forgiveness instead. The thought is to do something first and then request forgiveness afterwards.”

“Y-You’re right.”

“That’s the nature of people. Even if we repeatedly tell them not to do wrong and warn them that there will be consequences for their actions, once someone missteps, they get scolded but eventually end up granting forgiveness.”

“…….”

The saint, a symbol of compassion, spoke of forgiveness. As she gently closed her eyes and began to take deep breaths, her chest swelled and expanded.

With her chest rising and then deflating, I clasped my hands neatly and lowered my gaze.

At that moment, having completed her deep breaths, she spat her words.

“Isn’t it infuriating?”

Her voice, filled with anger, dug into my eardrums.

“You believed you’d be forgiven after wronging me, didn’t you? In a way, that’s a sin too. Isn’t it using someone’s delicate heart to commit a wrong? It means you knowingly committed a sin.”

“Y-Yes, that’s true.”

“…So!”

*Bang!* A delicate white fist slammed into the confession booth door. Veronica, striking the door with a fist, sat in a slanted posture and issued me a threatening warning.

“If you have the slightest intention of forgiving the Colonel, speak the truth. What did you do with Lucia?!”

“…….”

The sight of the saint pointing at me with her arm propped up on one knee resembled that of a thug.

Veronica had shoved me into the confession booth and stood guard at the door so I couldn’t escape. Not only that, but she also blocked the door with a chair whose origin was unknown and seated herself on top of it.

I couldn’t help but think of a cult leader from a Netflix drama. A priest intimidating an intelligence officer. The framing was oddly similar upon reflection.

The only difference was that there were helpers available in the drama to assist the intelligence officer.

And here I was, facing Veronica all alone.

“…….”

I had to find a way out of this predicament.

I had no idea how Veronica figured out I was here, but if I could weave a lie to navigate my way out, I had to. No, I absolutely must.

“Go on, say something.”

With Veronica’s brusque prompt, I rubbed my damp palms together and replied.

“Well, you see… actually….”

—

The sun dipped below the horizon, and after the twilight sky vanished completely.

Only when the bright moon rose high did the story reach its conclusion.

“…So.”

Veronica removed her chin from her hand and began to speak.

“You and Lucia are in a relationship? You’re dating, is that what you’re saying?”

Veronica pressed for the truth, but if I told her the ‘real’ truth, I was certain she would become furious.

I couldn’t predict how or how angry she’d be, but it was a fact I knew I would be in for a scolding.

No matter the process, to her, I would be ‘the bastard who snatched her beloved sister away without a word.’

If I was to be cursed, it would be better to be cursed a little less. So, I would only vaguely toss out that we were ‘in love’ while hiding everything we had done together.

“It’s an unofficial relationship, right?”

I nodded.

“I haven’t told anyone about meeting Lucia.”

“Anyone? Then what about your company?”

She was asking whether the Military Intelligence Agency knew. I shook my head.

No matter what, the Military Intelligence Agency must never learn I was dating someone. It’s one of the grounds for severe penalties to date a foreigner without permission.

Setting that aside, no one should know I was seeing Lucia at all. Not just for my sake, but for Lucia’s as well.

But now I was caught.

Caught by someone who shouldn’t have found out.

“…Hah.”

The cult saint, Lucia’s sworn sister, and my informant.

Veronica covered her face with her palm and groaned. It was a sigh filled with anguish and torment.

“How did Lucia end up with a loser like you….”

“…….”

A loser? Isn’t that a bit harsh?

I wanted to say that, but I swallowed the words stuck in my throat.

One wrong word here could mean I’d be beaten like a dog and sent to the cathedral’s intensive care unit. So, staying silent was my best option for now.

With a stiff expression and dry lips, Veronica broke the silence.

“…Who confessed first?”

“Lucia confessed first.”

That much was the truth.

“This brat really….”

At the news that her sister confessed first, Veronica’s expression twisted. The saint, leaning awkwardly in her chair, turned her gaze away and began to chew her lips.

“Chewed it up.”

“So, what did the Colonel say in response?”

It was a question that could be answered without any pressure.

I responded honestly, without a hint of a lie.

“I asked for more time to think…”

“What?”

Veronica’s head snapped around.

Leaning against the chair, she reached out and grabbed me by the collar. Shaking her fist wildly, she raised her voice.

“You want time to think? Hey, you worthless piece of trash!”

“Uh….”

“The kid confessed first, and you’re talking nonsense about needing time to think!”

Now I noticed that not only had her head turned, but her eyes seemed to spin as well.

Veronica shook me as if I were a rag doll, shouting as though the cathedral itself could hear her.

“If Lucia confessed, then she must have thought about it dozens of times before even speaking up! And you reject her?!”

“It was just so sudden….”

“Sudden, my foot! The Colonel seduced her, right? Your innocent sister didn’t approach you first; you seduced that naive girl and are now pinning it on someone else!”

…Innocent girl? Who was she referring to?

Could it be Lucia?

I pondered over the image of Lucia that I had seen in the Northern Regions.

“……”

No matter how much I thought about it, Lucia was not an ‘innocent girl.’ If she was pure, that might be one thing, but she was definitely not innocent, and definitely not a virgin.

At least not right now.

Of course, the moment I even thought to utter such words, it was certain that Veronica would try to kill me. Thus, for the honor of Lucia and my own precious life, I resolutely decided to be a scumbag.

“It’s true that Lucia confessed first, but what am I supposed to do….”

“How dare you call my sister by her name so casually? Are you two that close, huh?”

“…We are close, I guess.”

“But you kicked her confession to the curb? Oh dear.”

Veronica looked at me as if I were a cigarette butt lying on the roadside.

She probably thought of me as a ‘silly scoundrel who seduced her innocent sister.’ The way Lucia’s title shifted from ‘our sister’ to ‘my sister’ was telling.

In truth, Lucia had confessed first, and both of us had gotten swept up in the atmosphere of playing with fire, but the truth didn’t matter.

Veronica unleashed a stream of sharp words at me for several minutes.

Having made a confession, she said I was playing with a woman’s heart, and that I must have thought I was untouchable for hiding my relationship with Lucia from her.

She even suggested that I was clueless and lacked respect.

Veronica muttered a series of incomprehensible phrases in a flurry. Then she took a deep breath and asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

“…There was nothing between you and Lucia, right?”

It was a question that was calm yet exuded a threatening vibe.

Even until now, it felt like if I misspoke, I wouldn’t be able to pick up the pieces.

So, I responded in a flash, my brain working faster than ever. The words flowed out of me without hesitation.

“I get what you’re worried about. There was nothing to worry about, Veronica.”

“……”

“I swear. There was truly nothing!”

Despite my earnestness, and even my indignation coming through in my words, Veronica’s gaze was not gentle.

Her eyes brimmed with suspicion.

She was looking at me with a gaze resembling how one would look at a not-so-close friend calling after graduation.

Then, she sighed.

“…Well, what can I do? My sister is growing up now… She might be able to confess on her own.”

“……”

Veronica opened her arms wide.

Why is she suddenly spreading her arms? I wondered, but Veronica only looked at me as if I were pitiful.

“What are you doing, Colonel? My arms are getting tired.”

“…Ah, um, okay.”

With a hesitant heart, I slowly approached her. But really, all that meant was I got up from the confession booth and took a step or two forward.

As I cautiously stepped closer, Veronica grabbed my arm and pulled me in toward her.

Before I could even react, I found myself bending forward, losing my balance.

Next thing I knew, I was standing in what looked like an embrace with Veronica.

Just as I tried to straighten up, Veronica pulled me closer with all her strength.

Her hand on my back gently brushed along my shoulder blade and neck, the softness of her flesh pressing against my chin.

“Good.”

Veronica, who held me in her arms, slowly patted my back.

Along with the gentle touch that felt like caring for a lamb, her whispers reached my ears.

“If what Lucia said was true, she must have thought it over quite a bit. It’s good to contemplate, but don’t take too long, Colonel. She has a tender heart, despite appearances.”

The Saint said.

“You two are mature adults, and having a third party interfere in a man-woman relationship is not polite, but I can’t help but worry. You can take good care of Lucia, right?”

“…Yes, I will take good care of her.”

“You won’t lay a hand on her casually?”

“…Of course not. No way….”

“If you say it like that, then yes.”

Veronica smiled.

“I guess I have to trust you.”

*

At that moment.

The hand that had been stroking my head suddenly grasped my hair.

“If that is true…”

With one hand gripping my hair, Veronica swiftly reached out with the other to seize my chest. Specifically, the shirt beneath my windbreaker.

With brutal force, she yanked it down, her eyes wide open, lowering her body as if she were going to bury her head into my torso.

Underneath the pulled-down shirt lay nothing but smooth skin.

“……”

A clean, unblemished skin filled Veronica’s view.

Whether she couldn’t believe the sight or wanted to deny it, Veronica began to touch that skin with trembling hands.

The skin was pristine.

There were no scars or wounds.

The horrible marks left by the demon were nonexistent, as if they had never existed in the first place.

“……”

“……”

Brown and black eyes tangled in the air. Her trembling fist once again gripped my collar, while her damp hand waved in the void.

Then, Veronica swung her fist. I was shoved back into the confession booth like a person tumbling off a cliff.

A sharp pain surged from my tailbone, but I had no room to care about that right now.

“…J-just die.”

I raised my arms to shield my head and curled my body in.

At that moment, Veronica’s thunderous scream echoed throughout the sacred church.

“Die, you rotten punk!”

 

---