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오랜만에 마주한 루치아는 기억 속의 모습 그대로였다.

Transparent skin and dazzling blonde hair. A delicate frame and a thin face. Eyes as blue as the ocean.

루치아는 평소와 다름없는 모습으로 내 앞에 나타났다. 차이점이 있다면 조금 야윈 것 정도다.

She appeared before me just as she always had. The only difference was that she seemed a bit more frail.

놀란 것 같기도 하고 당황한 것 같기도 하고. 언뜻 보면 기뻐하는 모양새 같기도 하다.

She seemed both surprised and flustered, or perhaps even joyous at first glance.

여과 없이 드러난 감정에 표정이 변하는 것도 잠시.

Her expression changed for a moment, showing her unfiltered emotions.

“…….”

루치아가 문고리를 붙잡고 서 있던 그녀가 문을 살짝 열며 이야기했다.

“…Please come in.”

—

Episode 14 – One Religion, One Faith, Two Saints

침실은 상상 이상으로 소박했다.

The bedroom was more modest than I had imagined.

교단 전체를 통틀어 단 셋밖에 존재하지 않는 바실리카인 트란퀼레 대성당의 규모와 비교했을 때, 루치아의 방은 성녀의 공간이라곤 믿기지 않을 정도로 단출한 모습이었다.

In comparison to the scale of the Basilica of the Cathedral of Tranquille, which is one of only three in the entire cult, Lucia’s room was so sparse it was hard to believe it belonged to a saint.

벽지며 타일이며 모두 교단에서 고르고 고른 상등품으로 도배되어 있지만, 정작 침실에는 책상과 의자, 침대 하나만이 덩그러니 놓여있을 뿐. 생활에 필요한 다른 가구나 물건 같은 것은 아예 없었다.

Though the wallpaper and tiles were all of the finest quality selected by the cult, in fact, the bedroom only had a desk, a chair, and a single bed. There were no other furnishings or necessities at all.

“음….”

침음성을 흘리며 방 내부를 둘러보는 와중, 부산스럽게 복도를 살피던 루치아가 대뜸 이런 변명을 던져왔다.

“It’s quite barren, isn’t it…? I couldn’t bring much when I moved in a hurry.”

“아뇨. 그렇게까지 말씀하실 필요는….

“No, you don’t need to say that…”

베로니카와 다르게 루치아는 애초에 사치를 좋아하는 성격이 아니다.

Unlike Veronica, Lucia isn’t the type to enjoy luxury.

성직자답게 생활의 공간이자 신앙의 공간인 방을 정리 정돈하는 것은 중요하게 생각하지만, 방에 미술품을 들여놓는다거나 이런저런 가구를 들여놓는 행동은 일절 하지 않았다.

She values keeping her space tidy as both a living and sacred area, but she never indulges in placing art or various furnishings in her room.

본인이 검소하게 살겠다는데 내가 무슨 자격으로 나무랄 수 있겠는가.

If she’s choosing to live simply, who am I to criticize?

그럴 필요도 없고, 이유도 없다.

There’s no need or reason for that.

손수 문을 열어 나를 안으로 들인 루치아는 복도를 둘러보곤 재빨리 문을 걸어 잠갔다.

Lucia opened the door for me and quickly locked it after glancing around the hallway.

그러고는 제 머리카락을 손으로 마구 빗어 내리더니, 이내 어정쩡한 자세로 선 채 나를 힐끗힐끗 쳐다보기 시작했다.

Then, she ran her fingers through her hair and stood awkwardly, stealing glances at me.

“저어…. 프레드릭…?”

“Yes?”

“여, 여기는 어쩐 일로 온 건지…. 물어봐도 괜찮겠습니까?”

“Um… Is it alright if I ask what brought you here?”

루치아는 조심스럽게, 은근한 목소리로 물음을 던져왔다. 꼭 무언가를 기대하는 모양새였다.

Lucia asked gently and cautiously, looking as if she was expecting something.

깍지를 꼈다가 풀었다가, 손을 모았다가 펼치고.

Fidgeting with her clasped fingers, her gaze darting around.

시선조차 제대로 마주치지 못하고 쉬지 않고 몸을 배배 꼬는 루치아의 모습은 마치, 동이 트기도 전에 일어나 반짝반짝 빛나는 크리스마스 트리 아래를 살펴보는 어린아이를 떠올리게 했다.

The way she couldn’t meet my gaze and kept twisting her body reminded me of a child eager to see the shiny gifts under a Christmas tree.

혹시라도 산타 할아버지가 간밤에 왔다 가지는 않았을지, 그토록 원하던 선물을 두고 가지는 않았을지 기대하는 어린아이 말이다.

A child waiting to see if Santa had come in the night and left the presents they had wished for.

나는 힐끔 눈동자를 굴려 가며 시선을 보내오는 루치아를 향해 입을 열었다.

I finally turned my gaze towards Lucia and spoke.

“루치아 당신이 교황과 독대한 뒤로 갑자기 칩거했다는 소문이 돌더군요. 정확히 무슨 일이 있었던 건지 알아보려고 왔습니다.”

“I heard rumors that you have been in seclusion since your audience with the Pope. I came to find out what exactly happened.”

“…….”

그 대답에 루치아의 고개가 훽 돌아갔다.

At my words, Lucia’s head snapped around.

눈이 마주치면 불에 데인듯 시선을 피하던 조금 전의 모습과 달리, 그녀는 아주 똑바로 고개를 세우고 내 눈을 바라보았다.

Unlike before when she had avoided my eyes as if burned, now she straightened up and looked directly into mine.

멍한 눈동자로 나를 쳐다보는 루치아는 당황한 기색이 역력한 표정으로 대뜸 중얼거렸다.

With a dazed expression, Lucia blurted out in a flustered tone.

“…그것 때문에 오신 거였습니까?”

“Was it because of that that you came?”

“그런데요?”

“Um, yeah?”

“…….”

루치아의 입술이 굳게 다물어졌다.

Lucia shut her lips tightly.

그와 동시에 그녀의 연분홍빛 입술이 삐죽 튀어나왔다.

At the same time, her soft pink lips poked out childishly.

“…내가 뭘 잘못했습니까?”

“What did I do wrong?”

“…아니요. 잘못하신 건 없습니다.”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

오리마냥 입술을 내민 루치아는 터덜터덜 침대로 다가가 털썩 주저앉았다.

Pouting like a duck, Lucia trudged over to the bed and plopped down.

가지런히 무릎 위에 손을 모은 그녀는 작게 심호흡한 뒤, 차분한 어조로 한가지 질문을 내게 던졌다.

She neatly folded her hands on her knees, took a deep breath, and asked me in a calm tone.

“제가 교황님과 만난 것은 누구에게 들으셨나요?”

“Who did you hear that I met with the Pope?”

“베로니카 성녀님이요.”

“Saint Veronica.”

“…그럼, 그날 무슨 일이 있었는지도 알고 계십니까?”

“Then, do you know what happened that day?”

나는 루치아의 앞으로 다가서며 고개를 저었다.

I approached Lucia and shook my head.

“아니요. 그냥 만났다는 이야기만 들었습니다. 굳이 보태자면, 자리가 끝난 뒤에 요한 16세와 루치아 당신의 표정이 눈에 띄게 어두워졌다는 것 정도? 그런데 대체 거기서 어떤 말이 오갔던 겁니까?”

“No, I only heard that you met. To add, both your and Pope John XVI’s expressions darkened noticeably after the meeting. So, what exactly was said?”

“아, 음….”

침대 끄트머리에 걸터앉은 루치아는 평소와 다르게 말꼬리를 흐리며 대답을 피했다.

Lucia, perched on the edge of the bed, hesitated and avoided my question, trailing off in her usual manner.

꼼지락거리는 손가락과 미묘한 감정이 한데 어우러진 얼굴. 애매모호한 추임새와 근심걱정 가득한 한숨이 그녀의 입술 사이로 흘러나오는 것도 잠시.

Her fidgeting fingers and mixed emotions painted across her face. A vague interjection and sorrowful sigh slipped between her lips.

내가 그녀의 곁에 앉으며 대답을 재촉하자, 루치아의 입술이 달싹이기 시작했다.

As I sat beside her, urging her to respond, her lips began to tremble.

“제가, 말실수를 조금 했습니다….”

“I, um, made a small mistake…”

“교황의 앞에서요?”

“In front of the Pope?”

“네….”

“Yeah…”

“뭐라고 했는데요?”

“What exactly did you say?”

“그게…. ”

“Well…”

루치아는 침대에 놓여있던 베개를 끌어당겨 품에 앉았다. 그리고 창피하다는 듯이 베개에 얼굴을 파묻고는 힘없는 목소리로 이렇게 대답했다.

Lucia pulled a pillow into her arms, burying her face in it as she shyly confessed with a feeble voice.

“꼰대….”

“I called him… an old fogey…”

“예?”

“Excuse me?”

“뉘앙스는 조금 다르긴 한데, 꼰대라고 했습니다….”

“The nuance was a bit different, but I did say old fogey…”

“누구를, 꼰대라고 불렀는데요…?”

“Who did you call old fogey…?”

옹알이가 베갯잇 사이로 흘러나왔다.

A muffled murmur came from the pillow.

“…교황님이요.”

“The Pope…”

—

내가 교단에 도착하기 전.

Before I arrived at the cult.

루치아는 퇴임을 앞둔 교황과 만나 두 차례에 걸쳐 담소를 나눴다.

Lucia had met with the Pope, who was about to retire, twice for conversations.

그런데 독대를 마친 요한 16세와 루치아의 표정은 어딘가 석연치 않은 구석이 있었다. 노기 가득한 얼굴을 하고 정원을 뛰쳐나온 교황과 참담한 표정으로 입을 가리며 급히 자리를 피한 성녀.

However, after their audience, the expressions of Pope John XVI and Lucia were oddly disquieting. The Pope stormed out with a face full of rage, while Lucia hurried away, covering her distressed expression.

대화가 시작되기 전, 화기애애했던 분위기를 기억하던 성직자들은 교황과 성녀의 급격한 온도 변화에 경악했다.

The clergy, who remembered the pleasant atmosphere before their chat, were shocked by the sudden change in demeanor between the Pope and the saint.

교황과 성녀 사이에 정치적 논쟁이 벌어졌다.

A political argument erupted between the Pope and the saint.

교황이 성인의 신분을 내려놓고 마탑을 방문했던 루치아의 행적을 비난했다.

The Pope criticized Lucia for visiting the Magic Tower while relinquishing her sainthood.

성녀가 교황의 정책을 정면으로 비판했다 등등.

The saint openly criticized the Pope’s policies, and so on.

이와 유사한 논지의 소문이 현장에 남아있던 성직자들 사이에서 오르내리기 시작했고, 이는 또 다른 성녀인 베로니카를 거쳐 내 귀에도 들어왔다.

Similar rumors began circulating among the clergy present at the time, eventually reaching my ears through another saint, Veronica.

처음 소식을 접했을 당시, 나는 ‘교황과 성녀가 정치적 논쟁을 벌였다’는 소문이 무척 합리적이라고 생각했다.

When I first heard the news, I thought the rumor that the Pope and the saint had a political disagreement was quite reasonable.

이단심문청을 거쳐 교황의 자리에 오른 요한 16세는 라파엘로를 능가하는 보수 성향의 성직자이자 강경파 정치인이니까.

Pope John XVI, who ascended to his position after the Inquisition, is a conservative cleric surpassing even Raphael’s stance, a hardliner politician.

반면 루치아는 이렇다할 정치색이 없는 무난한 인물이다.

On the other hand, Lucia is a rather neutral figure devoid of tangible political color.

굳이 루치아는 개혁적인 성향을 지닌 온건파라고 볼 수 있다.

One could argue that Lucia leans towards a reformist moderate stance.

이렇듯 반대되는 성향을 지닌 두 인물이 담소를 나눴으니, 나는 당연히 정치적인 견해차로 인해 두 사람의 사이가 틀어진 것이라고 판단했다.

Given that these two figures possess opposing traits, it was only natural for me to conclude that their disagreement stemmed from political viewpoints.

무엇보다 최근에 루치아는 북부의 대공에게 편지를 보내 협조를 구하기도 했다.

Moreover, Lucia had recently sent a letter to the Duke of the Northern Regions in search of cooperation.

아무리 악마를 잡기 위해 편지를 보냈다지만 제국과 교단, 마탑과 교단의 관계를 생각하면 이는 상당히 정치적인 행동이다.

Even though she wrote the letter to trap demons, considering the relations between the Empire, the cult, and the Magic Tower, it was quite a political gesture.

그래서 나는 당연히 교황이 그 일을 빌미로 모종의 압박을 가하지는 않을까 은연 중에 의심하고 있었다.

So naturally, I suspected that the Pope might apply some sort of pressure using that incident as leverage.

공교롭게도 마침 그 무렵에 교황과 루치아의 불화설이 첩보로 들어왔다.

Coincidentally, around that time, rumors of discord between the Pope and Lucia reached me as intelligence.

하지만 언제나 그래왔듯, 이번에도 현실은 내 기대를 보기 좋게 배신하고야 말았다.

But, as always, reality betrayed my expectations splendidly.

“…아니. 그니까 지금 루치아 당신이 교황 면전에 대고 꼰대라는 말을 썼다. 이겁니까?”

“So, you’re telling me you called the Pope an old fogey right to his face?”

“꼬, 꼰대라니요. 그런 무례한 표현은 사용하지 않았습니다. 뉘앙스가 비슷했지만….”

“I didn’t use such a rude term, it had a different nuance…”

“꼰대라는 말은 쓰지 않았지만 꼰대 같다고 말하긴 했다. 술 먹고 운전대는 잡았지만 음주운전은 아니란 소리네요?”

“So you didn’t use the term ‘old fogey’, but you implied he was one. Just because you grabbed the wheel after drinking doesn’t mean you weren’t drunk driving, does it?”

“…….”

루치아는 푹신한 베개에 고개를 처박았다.

Lucia buried her head deep into the fluffy pillow.

후임 새끼가 이랬으면 네가 까투리도 아니고 고개만 처박으면 뭐가 달라지냐고 갈궜겠지만, 안타깝게도 루치아는 내 후임이 아니라 동료였다.

If this were someone else, I would have scolded them for just burying their head and not changing things, but unfortunately, Lucia was my colleague, not my subordinate.

금방이라도 터질 것처럼 아파오는 목덜미의 감각이 선명하다.

The throbbing ache in my neck felt vivid, as if it could burst at any moment.

뒷목을 움켜쥔 나는 고개를 돌리다 말고 한숨을 푹 내쉬었다.

As I rubbed my neck, I sighed heavily.

“아니…. 일단 그건 그렇다치고. 대체 무슨 대화가 오갔길래 80살 노인네한테 그런 표현까지 쓴 겁니까? 그 양반이랑 뭐 정치 얘기라도 한 거예요?”

“Okay, but setting that aside… what on earth was said that provoked you to call an 80-year-old man that? Did you discuss politics with him?”

“정치요…? 아니요. 교황님은 저와 그런 주제로 대화하실 분이 아니세요.”

“Politics…? No, the Pope wouldn’t speak with me on such topics.”

내 입에서 튀어나온 정치 이야기에 루치아는 화들짝 놀라 손사래쳤다.

Lucia flailed her hands in shock at the mention of politics escaping my lips.

그러면서 자신은 정치인도 아니고 한낱 성직자에 불과하며, 교황 또한 그런 속물적인 인간이 아니라고 덧붙였다.

She emphasized that she was not a politician, just a saint, and that the Pope was certainly not such a petty man.

“저는 정치 같은 복잡한 이야기를 입에 담기에는 부족한 사람입니다. 언니야 교황님이나 주교님들과 교단의 중대사를 논하긴 하지만, 저는 그런 그릇이 되지 못합니다. 한번 생각해보세요….”

“I’m too inexperienced to discuss complicated political matters. While I do discuss important issues with the Pope and the bishops, I’m not someone capable of such things. Just think about it…”

루치아의 말을 듣고 나니 자연스럽게 납득이 됐다.

Hearing Lucia’s words, it began to make sense.

10년 넘게 성인으로 살아오며 로비스트와 정치인의 역할을 동시에 수행해온 베로니카와 달리, 루치아는 정치인으로서 이렇다할 스펙이 없다.

Unlike Veronica, who has been a saint for over a decade and engaged in both lobbying and politics, Lucia had no such credentials.

분쟁지역과 적성국인 마탑을 오가며 이런저런 활동을 하긴 했지만. 그건 사람의 생명을 구하기 위해 발벗고 나선 것이지, 특정 집단의 정치적 이해관계나 외교 관계를 고려해 움직인 것이 아니었다.

She may have engaged in various activities in conflict zones and the enemy’s territory, but that was purely to save lives, not driven by political interests or diplomatic relations.

내가 교황이라고 가정해도 루치아를 불러들여 굳이 정치적인 대화를 나눌 필요는 없었다.

Even if I were the Pope, there wouldn’t be any need to initiate a political discussion with Lucia.

게다가 악마 토벌건으로 그녀에게 훈장까지 수여한 마당에 굳이 과거의 일을 빌미로 무안을 줄 이유도 없고.

Plus, after awarding her a medal for her demon-busting endeavors, there was no reason to insult her over past matters.

“그렇긴 합니다만….”

However, doubts remained.

“그럼 교황은 대체 왜 혼자 화나서 씩씩거렸답니까? 꼰대라고 말한 건 또 뭐고요.”

“Then why was the Pope seething with rage all alone? What was this about the old fogey comment?”

“아, 그건….”

“Ah, that’s…”

눈치를 살피듯 주변을 힐끗거린 루치아는 작은 목소리로 진상을 털어놓기 시작했다.

Lucia glanced around cautiously and began to recount the truth in a quiet voice.

“실은, 그날 저와 교황님 사이에 종교적인 언쟁이 오갔는데….”

“Actually, that day, a religious argument broke out between me and the Pope…”

“That’s a fact. It at least brings me some comfort.”

Stories about death are always heavy.

In light of this, Lucia, who had participated in the demon suppression, bowed her head in prayer, while the Pope, waiting quietly for the prayer to end, waved his hand awkwardly.

“I misspoke. It is not fitting for someone who merely prayed in the cathedral while there are heroes who faced demons directly. My apologies. I had no intention to disturb your heart.”

“It’s alright, Your Holiness. It’s all in the past.”

“I’m grateful for your understanding.”

The Pope, wearing a smile, removed his zucchetto and adjusted his hair.

As the cool breeze tousled his white hair, tickling the bridge of his nose, the retiring Pope spoke with a childlike innocence as he brought up the main topic.

“As I mentioned earlier, today I wish to discuss the future of our Church with you. A theological topic. May I ask if you have a strong interest in theology?”

At the question posed by the Pope, Lucia set down her teacup and neatly joined her hands.

“Though I don’t possess expert knowledge like someone who majored in biblical archaeology, I have a keen interest in theology as I am part of the clergy.”

“Ah, that’s delightful news. I’ve heard that modern priests tend to shy away from such stale topics, but it seems you are a bit different. Ha ha.”

The Pope began speaking with a bright smile. Like true religious individuals, the two opened a conversation tied to their faith.

“Saint, I wish to ask you first.”

“Please go ahead, Your Holiness.”

“What do religion and faith mean to you?”

As it often goes with philosophy and religion, the topic devolved into vague musings.

It was a question that felt like asking whether the chicken or the egg came first. Lucia took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding.

“Religion and faith are indeed a very philosophical topic.”

“Was it a difficult question to answer? I can give you as much time as you need.”

Lucia shook her head.

“The answer has already come to me. I believe the difference between religion and faith lies in attitude.”

“Attitude?”

“Yes, the attitude of a person.”

The Pope nodded encouragingly, signaling her to elaborate.

“At a glance, religion and faith seem indistinguishable. Religion is faith, and faith is religion; people often think of religion and faith as inseparable.”

“Then what do you think? Do you see them as separable?”

“Not at all. The perspective that religion and faith are inextricable is valid, and I fully agree with it. However, I believe that although religion and faith may be essentially the same, a distinct difference exists.”

“What difference do you see?”

“Let me provide an example.”

Lucia picked up a piece of bread from the table.

“This bread is ordinary, but according to the teachings of the Cult, it is part of the divine essence.”

“Cenantibus autem eis, accepit Iesus panem et benedixit ac fregit deditque discipulis et ait: ‘Accipite, comedite: hoc est corpus meum.’ That line is written in the scriptures.”

“I shall assume this bread represents God’s teachings.”

As Lucia set the bread down, she began to explain.

“When you hand bread to a hungry person, most will be grateful for the food provided and consume it without any worries. But a wise person won’t just eat the bread; they will find a way to procure more.”

“Procure more bread?”

“Eating the bread may satisfy immediate hunger, but it doesn’t resolve tomorrow’s starvation. Whether by working to earn more bread or learning how to bake, a wise person seeks ways to secure their future. Apply this to religion and faith.”

“…….”

The Pope, lost in thought, exclaimed as if he had finally understood.

“Oh, so you’re saying it’s the difference between someone who believes God’s teachings blindly and someone who understands and interprets them.”

Nodding with a smile at the Pope’s answer, Lucia continued.

“Furthermore, I included the practice in my statement. Knowledge is useless unless acted upon, even if it’s understood intellectually.”

“What a refreshing viewpoint. The analogy wasn’t bad either. To interpret the topic of religion and faith using scripture is an idea few priests could conjure up on a whim. Quite remarkable.”

Seems satisfied with Lucia’s response, Pope John XVI did not hold back on the praise.

Offering her a plate of treats, he savored his tea with a content smile.

“Then there’s one more thing I wish to ask you.”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you truly believe we can be forgiven for our sins?”

This topic was, once again, laden with philosophical implications.

Sin and forgiveness.

“No matter how exceptional a person may be, they cannot satisfy everyone. Can you claim that there has been a single moment in your life when you haven’t sinned?”

Lucia shook her head, firmly denying it to the Pope’s question.

“No.”

“Neither can I. Especially when it concerns my child.”

Lucia’s face briefly showed a look of bewilderment at the Pope’s sudden mention of such a topic.

It was understandable, as the Pope’s child was one of the dark aspects that no clergy dared to address.

Based on the historical background marked by the horrors of monsters and war, and the teachings that the Eastern sages transcribed from divine words, the early Papacy allowed the clergy to marry. After all, marriage was something rightfully blessed even by the gods.

However, the scripture places great emphasis on a life of restraint.

Marriage and restraint.

At first glance, the two topics seemed unrelated, but long ago, clergymen had different thoughts.

The clergy of the Holy See believed that procreative activities could lead to misguided desires.

Thus, there was a time when the Holy See prohibited priestly marriages.

Though this marriage ban was eventually rescinded due to fierce opposition from prominent theologians and clergy, the period marked the beginning of a trend within the Cult where interactions with others were treated as taboos.

Consequently, clergy and monks typically interacted with the opposite sex in secret, away from prying eyes. But when the fact of such relationships became known, the consequences fell squarely on the individuals involved.

This tendency grew stronger with rank.

In a given year, the Holy See received hundreds of anonymous letters exposing secret relationships involving bishops and cardinals. Most of these letters were written by rival clergy.

Thus, high-ranking clergy faced a choice upon deciding to pursue love or marriage.

Firstly, to protect their love, they could voluntarily retire before an anonymous letter came from another high-ranking priest.

Secondly, or, to shield themselves, they could rigorously conceal their private lives so that no other high-ranking clergyman would find out.

Most high-ranking clergy opted for the latter choice. And the Pope himself chose the second option.

John XVI, who was then a bishop, had children with a parishioner without even filing for marriage.

Thanks to this, John XVI rose swiftly through the ranks of the Inquisition, eventually ascending to the papacy, but his son had to live as a child without a father.

It wasn’t until over twenty years later that John XVI’s secret life came to light after he became Pope. The revelation came through none other than his son.

The day his son’s letter filled the front page of a daily newspaper.

The authority of the Holy See plummeted, and the Pope, the subject of scandal, faced immense criticism both internally and externally. However, even after decades, John XVI retained his position as Pope.

The reason was simple.

The son who had written the letter had passed away.

“My son died of acute alcohol poisoning. His body couldn’t handle the repeated bouts of heavy drinking and overeating.”

The Pope quietly murmured, reflecting on the distant past.

At that moment, clouds obscured the sun, casting a dark shadow over his face in stark contrast to his white attire.

“Back then, the bishops and cardinals called me a monster. Even those who believed in and followed me spoke ill of me behind my back. I can thoroughly understand their sentiments. Although I hadn’t married, I didn’t hold funerals for either my wife or my son, so understandably, I wouldn’t appear human.”

“…….”

“I seem to have strayed from the story.”

Taking a sip of tea scented with mint to collect himself, the Pope placed his hands on his knees. He then turned to Lucia and asked once more.

“Do you truly think we can be forgiven for the sins we commit?”

Lucia, who had been silent, lifted her gaze to meet the Pope’s.

“No.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Forgiveness without repentance is merely a false peace for self-satisfaction.”

At sacrament’s end, the Pope smiled broadly at the Saint’s answer.

“Are you referring to confession? On that, I share your opinion. Though one may seek forgiveness verbally, the moment they turn away, they sin again.”

“That’s not it, Your Holiness. Even if one confesses to a priest, a person’s sins do not vanish.”

At Lucia’s resolute response, John XVI’s expression subtly shifted.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Your Holiness, sins are not like filth. That’s not what I mean when I say they don’t simply disappear upon being forgiven.”

“Filth?”

“Sins are wounds. Sins require an apology and accountability to be forgiven; if a priest claims to forgive on behalf of the victim, they don’t…”

“Are you out of your mind?”

The Pope interrupted.

The kind smile faded as anger filled his countenance. With his voice slightly raised, he chastised the Saint vehemently.

“Sins are not filth? Confession cannot eradicate sins? So, are you implying that the confessors throughout the world have merely been accepting filth this whole time? Are you truly speaking earnestly?”

“That’s not what I mean, Your Holiness. I’m not diminishing the importance of confession.”

“But you just denied the efficacy of confession, haven’t you? You said it’s useless. Did you not just say that one cannot confess and receive forgiveness?”

“Your Holiness, the Church may agree, but there are believers and others who hold doubts…”

The Pope slammed his fist onto the table.

Faced with his furious and disgruntled expression, Lucia paused her words for a moment.

Yet, knowing she had to convey her final thought, she took a shallow breath and spoke her last words.

“People do not think that way. The Church has built walls for far too long. Outside the walls, the world sees within as a small realm entangled in stuffy rules.”

“…Are you suggesting that our Church is a stagnant collective with no development?”

“Yes.”

Lucia nodded firmly, adding the words.

“Essentially, it looks outdated.”

“…I said that, and Your Holiness made no rebuttal. You stood up immediately and left.”

“…Lucia.”

“Yes?”

“You admitted to calling the Pope ‘outdated’ with your own words, did you not?”

“Me? When?”

“…….”

“I don’t recall such a memory.”

“…Ah, yes. Of course….”

 

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