Volume 6 Chapter 4: “The Reason I’m Taking You Out”



Volume 6: “Memory Corridor”

Volume 6 Chapter 4: “The Reason I’m Taking You Out”



To conquer the deadly desert area, Augria Sand Dunes, for reaching the Pleiades Watchtower.

As a reliable ally, Meily, the “Beast Tamer,” joined our group of Subaru and others to navigate through the labyrinth of sand, which is also a nest of magical beasts.

That said, even though I decided to take her out, it was only possible thanks to Roswaal’s cooperation, who had kept her restrained in the mansion’s Zashiki Prison for a whole year.

Considering the background of her collusion with the “Intestine Hunter” to attack the mansion, I expected there would be quite a bit of arguing to get her release—

“Isn’t it fine? If Subaru-kun and Emilia-sama decided to take her out, then letting her go shouldn’t be a problem. Even if she messes up due to misjudgment, the ones who’d be targeted would be you two anyway.”

Roswaal easily granted permission for Meily’s release. The content of his answer was very much typical of him, but for now, we secured the approval.

With that, Meily was finally free after a year.

“Mm~! The air outside is just different. Staying in that room all the time felt so cramped; I almost couldn’t breathe!”

“Well, I did everything I could to prevent you from feeling that way. It wasn’t really that bad of a life, right?”

“Is that so? I appreciate your concern, but being able to roam freely is on a whole different level. If you’re not careful with those little things, you’ll end up being disliked by both big sisters and little girls.”

Meily, while clutching a pile of stuffed animals, turned back with her lips pouting.

By the way, when Meily mentioned “big sister,” she was referring to Emilia, and “little girl” was about Beatrice. If it were Petra, she’d call her “Petra-chan,” and if it were Garfiel, he would be “Big Brother Fang,” while Otto would simply be “Weak-looking Guy.”

“Is this room okay?”

“I heard there’s no problem. Even unused rooms have been cleaned, so there shouldn’t be any messy spots or inconveniences. While we were moving stuff out, Frederica should have cleaned up properly.”

“…Hmmm.”

Meily looked around curiously at a corner filled with servants’ private rooms in the west building of Roswaal’s mansion.

Although Meily was set free from the Zashiki Prison, her position remained quite complicated.

Naturally, she couldn’t just be tossed aside, so it was necessary to take care of her, but her role was unclear—was she a guest or a servant? She couldn’t be kept too far as a guest, nor should she be made to integrate too closely as a servant.

Ultimately, she settled into a half-baked position of “collaborator,” awarded a servant’s room with a semi-family-like arrangement.

She was bringing in her personal belongings, which she had accumulated over the year in confinement, to fill the previously sterile room with her touch.

“Even though I’ve been treated this way, I don’t even know if I’ll stay long. If it looks like I can live safely, I might just take off immediately.”

“As long as that doesn’t involve bothering others and you’re not returning to your scary mom’s place, you can do as you please. But make sure you finish this job first. After that, you’re free to do whatever.”

“If there’s no more strings attached, does that mean I can die wherever I want?”

“As long as it doesn’t get back to me, I don’t care where or how you die. … Well, that’s something the old cynical me would have said, but I won’t say that now.”

I placed the belongings in a corner of the room and gently patted Meily’s head, the brown-haired girl with pigtails blinked in surprise as my hand settled on her.

“Is that how you charmed the little girl and Petra-chan? Seriously, you’ve got no slack or gaps to let your guard down.”

“That’s not my intention though.”

Scratching my head, I finished helping with the move and headed toward the exit of the room. I wouldn’t be helping with the room’s decoration either; to be honest, the difference between her decorating sense and mine was likely a wall of despair.

Before I could meddle too much and end up disliked, it was best to leave quickly.

“Well, I’ll take what you’re saying with a grain of salt. Besides, I’m just off to throw my life away in Augria Sand Dunes anyway.”

“You’re not throwing it away; you’re going to pick it up. And that depends a lot on your strength, so please do your best.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Waving her hand as if to shoo me away, Meily lifted her hand. Without even looking at me, she pulled out her belongings from the box and began to arrange them in her makeshift room.

As Meily said, whether she would stay long or even return to this room was uncertain. But—

“Looks like you’re having fun.”

The girl, granted her own room, walked around the space with a bounce in her step as she placed her favorite stuffed animal around. In that demeanor, it felt like a typical girl receiving her very first room—such a cheerful vibe peeked through, and it was heartwarming.

**※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※**

With Meily’s joining confirmed, the participants for the “Heart-Pounding, Sage Inquiry Tour” now numbered seven—three from Subaru, Emilia, and Beatrice’s inner circle, and three external collaborators, Julius, Anastasia, and Meily. And the other girl to be taken out was Rem.

These seven would form the team heading toward the Augria Sand Dunes, located at the eastern edge of the world map.

The journey to Augria Sand Dunes, situated at the furthest edge of the world, would be a straightforward line east from the true Roswaal Mansion; however, it was a much longer route, confirmed to take nearly twenty days one way.

In other words, this adventure would take forty days just for the journey to and from, and considering the days spent at the watchtower, it could result in a grand expedition lasting over two months.

So, what problems might arise—

“Hey, Petra. Sorry for leaving you alone for so long, but please cheer up.”

“I’m not mad at all. Subaru-sama can feel free to go and do dangerous things far away whenever you want.”

Petra had been sulking for a month after being abandoned due to the situation in Pristella, and now, an additional two months of abandonment was confirmed.

The little girl flounced her maid uniform while keeping a huffy expression, striding through the mansion’s corridor. Meanwhile, Subaru followed behind her, apologizing profusely, trying to smooth things over.

Initially, asking why Subaru was desperately trying to cheer up Petra seemed unnecessary. The ages-old belief is that when girls get upset, it’s usually the guys’ fault.

In fact, Petra was a prime example of one of the few girls with a high level of charm in this mansion. The only disappointing boys who might ruin her mood were Subaru, Roswaal, Garfiel, or Otto—well, there were plenty of candidates, and they were all disappointing boys. When Pack makes his comeback, he will probably join the ranks of those useless guys too.

Regardless—

“I mean, a month trapped in the mansion with Ros would be suffocating, but this is still part of work, so preferences should be set aside… whoa!”

“That’s not why I’m angry! I’m not a child! Besides, there’s Frederica-onee-sama and Ram-onee-sama, so don’t say weird things!”

“You can’t say that if you’re the one who leaps onto a man’s chest and headbutts him in the stomach!”

Subaru doubled over in agony after Petra dealt him a low blow, her hands on her hips and her thin chest puffed out.

There’s really no way to see anything but childishness there, but ladies develop mentally before their bodies catch up. Beatrice has the opposite problem, having her mental age dragged down by her physical age.

“But Petra, did your headbutt position just rise a bit? I thought before you would jump up into my embrace, wait a beat, and then rise up.”

“…What a shock. I told Beatrice-chan the same thing, you know? Look! You have to see it properly. I’m growing in a month! I have grown taller, and my legs have grown longer, and I’ve become cuter, haven’t I?”

“Ah, you have indeed grown a bit, huh? Taller and with longer hair. Your face was already cute to begin with, though.”

Originally, Petra was the best-looking girl from Araham Village. The admiration of the village boys and the number one unmovable girl they wanted to marry, so getting her into the mansion had its complications.

To put it specifically, there was a big sumo wrestling match held in front of crying children in the village square. In the end, adults joined in, and inexplicably, a battered Subaru was hoisted up at the end in a bizarre rite of passage.

Anyway, Petra was loved by the entire village, and her service in the mansion was widely lamented.

For the promising future Petra had, Subaru wanted to do everything he could to make things easier for her in the mansion. However, Subaru’s authority inside the mansion was nearly non-existent, so he only tried to keep her entertained to remind her of her daily life.

“Heck, I couldn’t even let a girl at the age where she wants to play have any fun. Even though they’re just big sisters I’m close to, it’s easy to see how it would feel suffocating to just work.”

“That’s not what this is about…”

I spread my arms as if to comfort the sulking girl. Then, Petra hesitated for a moment before jumping into my arms. I embraced her small body and gently patted her head.

“Subaru… or rather, Subaru-sama, are you going to do dangerous things again?”

“I haven’t determined anything for certain yet. Well, it might be dangerous, but there’s also a possibility it’s a remarkably cheap, safe tour.”

“Which is more likely?”

“An 80-20 chance that it’s pulled from danger, I guess?”

“I think that sounds pretty dangerous to me.”

Once the topic turned to something serious, Subaru couldn’t bring himself to lie.

Sensing Petra would grow unhappy in my arms, I sighed with a hint of frustration. Petra pressed her forehead against my belly.

“I’m worried. Subaru-sama, you’ve been like this for ages. Ever since I first came to the mansion and met you in the village. You always look like you’re up to something dangerous, and you never get a break… It would be best to learn from that useless husband who does nothing!”

“Well, Roswaal probably sweats over signing papers where we’re not looking, right? If we’re talking about life-threatening dangers, then, well, I can sympathize with the helplessness.”

“With the magical beasts, the Witch Cult, the earth spiders, and the goddess statues, the time in Erior Forest, and cleaning out the graveyard was tough too, and yet in Pristella we ran into the Witch Cult again and almost got Otto and the others killed…”

“Otto almost dies too often.”

Those words echoed my thoughts exactly.

However, I really didn’t want him to die as easily as that. If Otto were to die, then Natsuki Subaru would have to follow suit.

I didn’t want to exaggerate and claim “friendship that even death can’t part,” but—

“It doesn’t have to be Subaru-sama. He could count on someone else… like, a stronger person or something. A husband or someone who isn’t busy.”

“Alright, I get it, I understand how frustrated you are with Roswaal, who’s always lazing around. Let’s stop trying to push him into a death trap. That breeds too much discord.”

While I wouldn’t mind if Petra added some dishwater to the tea she served Roswaal, it would be bad if her hostility and harmful intent turned concrete.

I raised a voice of warning before it happened, but Petra’s gaze on me was sincere.

Hollow reassurances and idle words wouldn’t satisfy her. More than anything, she really did care about me.

Making a lame joke right now would be disrespectful to those feelings.

“Well, I understand Petra’s point. You see, I’ve heard there are magical beasts on the way to the Sage’s Tower, and the labyrinth of the desert isn’t easy; plus, getting too close to the tower might get me targeted by a tantrum-throwing sage, but… still, I don’t want to leave it to someone else.”

“Why? Are you seriously under the impression you are strong? Such a shameful misunderstanding; one Garf can manage all on his own.”

“Seriously, your grading scale is insane! I can’t let Garf hear this!”

I’ve heard many men tremble at the thought of Petra’s grading scale.

It was a rather accurate way to put it: Garf’s attitude towards strength is a wonderful misunderstanding. However, he does not lack efforts to turn that “misunderstanding” into “reality.” Additionally, his strength might be greater when he is “misunderstanding.”

In many ways, that particular discussion shouldn’t be shared with Garf.

“Well, putting aside my opinion about Garf’s way of thinking… it’s not that I think I’m the best fit. Actually, if there’s adequate preparation to get through the desert maze, it would probably be safer to throw everything on Reinhardt.”

“Then why not do that?”

“Why not? I like being pampered, but I never thought I had an appetite for glory.”

I myself don’t know why I want to do it so badly.

But if I had to put it into words, then perhaps this is what it would be:

“—No, after all, it’s something I want to do myself. Even if a more suitable person is out there and the chances favor them, I still want to do it.”

“Why?”

“Shamefully put… when I wake up, I want to be the first thing I see.”

“――――”

While I didn’t specify who I meant, I could tell Petra understood.

Even now, when she sleeps so deeply—if a means to awaken her could be found at the “Sage” tower, I wanted to be the one to reach out for it.

Even if another would be more suitable, or someone besides me might have a better chance, this is something I couldn’t yield or compromise on. It was Subaru’s ego.

“Putting emotions aside, if we’re strictly talking logic… I think it could be anyone who wakes her up. If it’s just about saving her from an utterly absurd disease that keeps her from waking, it wouldn’t matter who develops a vaccine or a cure. As long as it saves her, I really couldn’t care less about the process.”

“…Yeah.”

“But if I stick emotions in there, I want the process to be mine. I want to save her. I want to awaken her. I want to rescue her with everything I’ve got.”

—That’s why Natsuki Subaru is going.

There are stronger individuals out there than me.

More reliable individuals are out there than me.

More intelligent individuals are out there than me.

More wonderful individuals are out there than me.

But, disregarding all of that, Natsuki Subaru will go.

He will rescue her and wants to be praised by her, just for that reason alone.

“I’m sorry for being selfish and letting you down.”

“—I’m really disappointed. That hasn’t changed anything about me.”

“Huh?”

With a pitiful confession, Subaru braced for the backlash as he patted Petra’s head one last time. But Petra murmured quietly, lifting her face in Subaru’s arms.

Her round, large eyes were brimming with tears, causing Subaru to recoil in shock.

Then, she exclaimed—

“Hey!”

“Not the gut—!?”

With a sharp downward swing of her fist, Petra struck Subaru’s stomach, right where he couldn’t protect himself.

With a knee-jerk motion, Subaru collapsed to the ground as Petra slipped from his grasp and stuck out her tongue in a silly gesture.

“Subaru-sama, you idiot! Selfish! You can just do whatever you want!”

“Ugh…”

“Come back after two months and I’ll surprise you by being incredibly beautiful! You’ll regret not being able to see that growth up close!”

“Uh, I’m genuinely feeling sad about that.”

During a child’s growth spurt, the changes can be extraordinary. At thirteen, two months apart could completely alter Petra’s appearance.

“As a matter of fact, I grew nineteen centimeters in just one year between the second and third year of middle school…”

“What? That sounds entirely impossible…”

Well, in Subaru’s case, it was a rare phenomenon resulting from initially being shorter. Petra, who was ready to fold under the immense expectations, quickly clutched her fists.

Then she thrust both fists at Subaru as a declaration.

“Anyway! Subaru-sama can go do reckless things and trouble everyone like always! You’ll still come back, and I’ll be waiting for you!”

“Once you say that, I realize what a burden I must be…”

When viewed from this angle, it strangely didn’t sound incorrect.

Nonetheless, I extended my hands and bumped my fist against Petra’s.

“Well then, as always, I feel bad for you, Petra, but I’ll continue to proceed into dangerous places while you wait calmly for my return. You can say ‘welcome back’ when I come back, that’s your privilege.”

“…Can’t I say that before Frederica-onee-sama and Ram-onee-sama?”

“Ah, I promise.”

“What about the husband?”

“Don’t worry about that; if Roswaal is the first to show his face when I come back, then I’ll be the one jumping at him.”

“…Alright, I get it. I’ll accept that.”

As we pulled back our fists, Petra sighed and seemed to have cooled down to some extent. Judging by the flow of events, it seemed more like I had been the one who had yielded.

“Subaru-sama, you’re incorrigible…”

I felt like everyone might say that to me.

With a twinge of frustration, I thought about what could come next.

**※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※**

Leaving behind the unease regarding the mansion, I went around resolving the issues I had left behind until my last stop led me to this one room.

“——”

Only entering this room causes Subaru to instinctively hold his breath, treading silently. Even if I burst through the door singing and tap dancing, the scene within would remain unchanged.

Yet, unconsciously trying to maintain the silence stems from the sorrowful ache it brings to those who behold the figure of the girl lying on the bed.

I wish she would awaken right now, if only she could.

However, the thought of interrupting her slumber feels unbearably disrespectful. The sight of the girl sinking into the dreamscape seems too precious.

“Isn’t that more of an overly subjective opinion than anything…”

While speaking with disbelief, I pulled a chair up beside the bed and took a seat.

After a month, I found myself reuniting with Rem’s sleeping face, just as it had been before—unchanged from a year ago, still buried in sleep.

“I’m sorry for being late, even though I made it back. I’ve been tidying up and… while I’ve been stalling, it turned into quite the last moment.”

“——”

Of course, Rem offered no reply from her slumber.

Knowing this about her, Subaru still spoke, but his expression was calm. It bore the face only Natsuki Subaru could show her.

The earnest expression that could solely be displayed before Emilia, the expression of trust when entrusting his life only to Beatrice.

And then, the expression of kept weaknesses, reserved just for Rem.

“What should I start with… no, there’s a lot to talk about, you know? While I couldn’t come see you, I was in a place called Watergate City Pristella, and there were really many things happening there. It was such a commotion; it wouldn’t be enough to talk about in just one whole night. But, well, I do have plenty of time to get into that later.”

With the blanket draped up to her chest, I found Rem’s hand inside as I sought out her hand and absentmindedly grasped it.

Her delicate fingers and narrow, pale arms. There was warmth and softness, yet strangely, the sensation of blood flowing—no, the feeling of life was absent from them.

There was a force sustaining her life.

Yet, that force was not enough to keep her alive and fulfill her journey.

Rem’s life, caught up in contradictions, still remains frozen in that deep sleep.

But—

“I might finally be able to reach out.”

“——”

“Of course, it’s entirely possible that I might hype up expectations only to fail. Maybe the sage is nothing more than a vacuous title and I’ll have to apologize for the knowledge not being worthwhile.”

“——”

“But—”

Defeating “Gluttony” though it was, my means to the revelation had finally come into focus.

The path I traversed to grasp that answer may have been shaped by others, and while I feel regret about that, I seem to be able to catch the light of hope once more.

“I didn’t have the courage to ask Echidna.”

In the “Sanctuary,” in the witch’s graveyard, during the time I was invited to the dream tea party, when faced with the “Witch of Greed,” Echidna, I escaped her grasp by rejecting the witch and distancing myself from those who might have provided a way to save Rem.

It was a choice that safeguarded the fragile soul of Natsuki Subaru while simultaneously pulling away from the one who might know the means to save Rem.

Naturally, I didn’t know the extent of what the “Witch,” who knows the past, could discern about the Archbishop currently wielding menace. However, it could have been offered as aid to listen to her speculations when revealing the circumstances.

Right after I firmly rejected the witch’s demands, I had confidence in that choice.

Yet as time passed, with each changing season and strengthening bonds leaving Rem behind, I grow anxious about whether that decision was the right one.

Not being able to take any solid action despite my determination to rescue her.

But finally, just now, I’ve broken through that stagnation and can take action on her behalf.

In Watergate City Pristella, many people are suffering from the same trauma as Rem—our journey to the Pleiades Watchtower simply offers a chance to save them. However, if I’m honest, the motivation for me to forge ahead to the watchtower is nothing short of Rem’s existence.

I’m well aware that it’s irrational and inappropriate, yet even so, Subaru is—

“I will bring you back, Rem. —That is my oath.”

Back to when she was in my weakest days, in my time, when she was with me.

Now, at the moment Rem needs someone’s hand the most, I want to be the one to be there for her.

“—It hurts.”

“—What!?”

As I proclaim my resolve and firmly close my eyes, Subaru jerks up at the sound.

Surprised, I opened my eyes wide to find Rem still resting quietly, eyes shut, with my hand still holding hers.

So that voice just now must have—

“Let go, Balus. Your grip on my hand is painful…”

“…What? Is that you, Ram?”

Turning around, I saw Ram standing at the entrance of the room, giving Subaru a cool look. I felt relieved by her gaze, then realized how tightly I was holding Rem’s hand and hurriedly released my grip.

“Seeing Rem’s delicate fingers trampled by Balus’s lust is hard to bear.”

“Could you not phrase it that way? That really makes my earlier resolve feel filthy.”

As I released the grip, Ram gently took Rem’s hand. The sister lightly brushed her own hand over her little sister’s slender fingers, casting a sideways glance at me.

“Do you think your resolve is pure and innocent? You should reflect on yourself more before you speak. …If you’re aroused by someone who looks just like Rem, it sends shivers down my spine too.”

“Rest assured. Even though they look alike, the differences in their inner glow prevent my interest from sparking at all. I’m not shallow enough to judge someone solely by appearances.”

“If that’s the case, then it’s all good. If I found out that, after she awakens, Balus was forgotten for a whole year, then that wouldn’t do Rem’s feelings any good. If this child actually has feelings for Balus, then it wouldn’t just be a figment of your imagination.”

“How little faith you have… Isn’t our relationship long enough by now?”

“Hmph.”

As usual, with a huff, Ram gestured for me to leave, and I obediently stood up. She took a quick glance around the room.

“I need to get ready for our departure, which includes preparing Rem’s clothing. Though she doesn’t sweat, we still need to wipe her down…”

“——”

“Your nose is getting longer, you filthy one.”

“I didn’t comment because it was hard to respond, but you keep saying that!”

While Ram looked at me disdainfully, I nearly stomped my feet in frustration but stopped myself, realizing where I was and remaining with clenched fists.

As for taking care of Rem—whose “memories” and “name” have been consumed in her sleep, Madly, she has no physical response, so wiping her down or changing her doesn’t mean much in a practical sense.

Merely, it is to ensure that her existence is not left behind at any moment that those close to her can feel that comfort.

“——”

If I were to ultimately discuss the utterly practical matters, my heart-to-heart talk and Ram caring for her essentially boil down to figures of positivity with little genuine result.

However, no one tries to stop these seemingly futile actions since everyone has accepted that not every action has to yield a result.

“Have you begun to feel like Rem is your sister?”

“——”

Watching Ram attend to the sleeping Rem so tenderly, I suddenly asked her that question.

Although Ram was taking care of Rem with great care, she herself had no memories of her half-sister. This girl who looks like her may not even be connected.

But after spending a year in this manner…

Even if the memories are lost, something new can still be formed. That is certain to have taken root in Ram, growing into something tangible.

“It’s not something that can be created in an instant. It’s not just about lacking memories; you’ve never actually met this girl while she was awake. I can picture her as an excellent, dignified little sister just like you.”

“She certainly is excellent, but I don’t have many memories of her being dignified. She was surprisingly clumsy, a flustered mess at times, and there were still issues where she acted impulsively.”

The fact that she lost her half-sister shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it was truly unforgivable.

To Ram’s glossy reply, I replied, “True.”

“Speaking of using those hazy memories to further stroke your whims, that mindset is rather counterproductive for you. That’s not how I like to operate, Balus.”

“If you say so, then I’ll change my approach.”

“…If she awakens and recalls those times, we’ll talk as much as we want to. Even if she doesn’t remember, as long as she wakes up, we’ll have plenty to say.”

Peering closely at her sleeping sister’s face, Ram gently swept Rem’s bangs with her fingers. Her soft white locks flowed gracefully above her white forehead, and Ram sighed softly.

That side profile seemed incredibly gentle to me.

Regardless of the memories that are no longer there, the bond will never disappear.

Even if it were to fade, rekindling connections anew would be possible. That’s what I believed.

“Well, just leave that to me. I’ll tackle the “Sage’s” Watchtower and surely awaken Rem. After that, we can have an extraordinary sisterly reunion.”

And so, with a louder voice than necessary, I cheerfully declared.

The solemn atmosphere didn’t suit at least the dynamic between me and Ram.

However, Ram glanced back at my cheerful statement, suddenly looking perplexed.

“What are you saying, Balus?”

“Huh?”

Then, Ram’s eyes narrowed mockingly as she replied.

“Since I’m coming along on this trip, saying it that way is a bit too patronizing. If it’s going to be a touching reunion, I’ll take care of it on my own.”

“That’s the first I’m hearing of this?!”

Opening my eyes wide at Ram’s reaction, I was met with a look that only grew even more condescending.

But regardless of how she looked at me, I didn’t know what was going on; if I hadn’t heard anything, I hadn’t heard it.

“——”

What’s going on? As I pressed her for answers, Ram covered her ears and turned her back to me.

In the end, the conversation never settled into something constructive, and this preparation day slipped away.

—Both Ram and Rem were confirmed for the journey.

The expedition to conquer the Pleiades Watchtower to meet the “Sage,” Shaura.

It would become an ensemble of eight participants, all set it seemed.