――How long has it been since I heard that voice?

In real time, not much has passed since she fell asleep.

At most, it’s only been a week, which is a perfectly normal length of time without seeing acquaintances or family. Yet, Subaru couldn’t help but feel otherwise.

For him, who repeatedly sacrifices his life to rewind time, real time holds no meaning. If we talk about the subjective passage of time for the soul, the tremble in his eardrums and heart at that voice came after an unfathomably vast duration.

“—Please wake up, Subaru-kun. I’d be so happy to see your face.”

Words rain down from directly above as he lies face down on the ground.

The warmth of affection and the passion of friendship imbued in that voice rapidly fills Subaru’s heart with warmth, like heat seeping into a vessel that had been empty and parched.

Just a single kind word, and he is overwhelmed.

—How much power does she give to me?

“…It’s a lie.”

“No, it’s not a lie.”

“There’s no way she’s here.”

“If you wish, Subaru-kun, I will always be by your side.”

“It’s always when I want something the most that… you’re here for me… It’s just too convenient, isn’t it?”

“I always want to be the most convenient woman for you, Subaru-kun.”

Choking, those weak words are spilling out.

Yet, the voice that connects with him never looks down on or belittles Subaru.

She knows.

She knows that Subaru is weak, helpless, and so fragile that he would need to cling to something to survive. He is filled with self-doubt and is constantly lost.

And still, this girl who tells me she likes me despite my inability to be strong.

“—Rem.”

“Yes. I am Rem, Subaru-kun’s Rem.”

He lifts his face.

Amidst the blurred vision from his tears, blue colors emerge.

Rubbing his eyes roughly with a grimy sleeve, Subaru evaporates the tears and sees a girl standing before him.

The adorable figure of Rem.

“Remm…”

“Yes, it’s Rem. When you want me to be close, I’ll be right within reach, your helpful maid.”

“You…”

With her head tilted slightly and a teasing attitude, Rem toyed with Subaru.

At that moment, before Subaru could say anything, he felt a peaceful exhalation escape from his lungs. The heavy weight inside him dropped away.

Breathing became easier, and the small self that had been screaming within his skull vanished somewhere.

So simply, effortlessly, Subaru was saved, leaving him dumbfounded.

What he had thought to be impossible and a deadlock in his heart unraveled so easily just by the presence of one girl.

“Rem is amazing…”

“Thank you! You’re wonderful too, Subaru-kun.”

The words exchanged in a smile, despite being in sync, were just as out of sync as always.

Happy even in such banter, Subaru felt the dam he had been holding back on break, and he nearly cried.

Still sitting on the ground, he turned his gaze down as Rem knelt before him and asked,

“Are you okay? Have you grown tired?”

“Who knows… Am I tired? I haven’t done anything yet.”

In this world where he could restart, Subaru had only been beaten down without reaching any right answers. He felt he was in no position to claim to be tired.

Everyone else is suffering more. Everyone has a harder time. Why must everyone struggle—it’s predetermined.

“It’s because I’m weak.”

“—”

“It’s because my strength is lacking.”

“—”

“If I were stronger, smarter, if I could do more… then everyone wouldn’t have to suffer like that…”

If Subaru were strong enough to do everything on his own, then Emilia wouldn’t have to face her past and break her heart; Beatrice wouldn’t be worn down by four hundred years of loneliness; and Petra and Frederica wouldn’t face the danger of a murderer’s blade. He would protect the people of the Sanctuary whose lives are threatened by the Great Rabbit and share in Garfiel’s reckless endeavor of fending off enemies.

It’s all Subaru’s fault.

Thus, he must pay the price for his weaknesses by tearing his own soul apart.

—At least, that’s what he thought.

“Have I not… saved anyone?”

“Subaru-kun.”

“If after I die the world continues, how many times, how many people… have I let die?”

“Subaru-kun.”

“How many times have I let you die? How many times do I have to… kill you?”

“—Subaru-kun.”

His body trembled with the panic rising from the depths as he rapidly confessed his sins.

After emptying everything out, he wanted to receive judgment right now. Before his heart shattered within himself, he wished for someone nearby to condemn him.

He wanted to be hit for being such a fool that, after deciding not to make any more mistakes, he still walked the wrong path from the very first step.

“—”

—Yet, what was given to Subaru, who sought punishment, was a gentle, enveloping embrace.

“Rem.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Subaru-kun.”

“What… what is… Nothing is okay…”

He hasn’t accomplished anything.

Subaru must save many people who wouldn’t be saved otherwise. There are many who would face a terrible end. Rem is one of those he must save.

She has every right to blame Natsuki Subaru, who is so weak, so insufficient.

“You… you are…!”

“I love you.”

Her forehead pressed against his, just the whisper of love was all he heard.

“—”

He was shut down, unable to speak.

He could say nothing.

Just nearby, her pale blue eyes gazed straight at Subaru.

Caught in the depths of love held in those eyes, he felt as if he might drown.

“I love you, Subaru-kun. —So, everything is okay.”

“T-That doesn’t make sense…”

“No, it does. Why Rem is here, why Rem forgives you, why Rem hugs you—it’s all for that reason.”

In a breath-away distance, Rem’s smile ensnared Subaru’s heart with invisible hands.

He couldn’t move. Not a single twitch. The small hands wrapping around his back gripped his clothing tightly, fiercely, so strongly as if they would become one with him.

“It was hard, wasn’t it, Subaru-kun?”

“—”

“You’ve been so hurt all alone… It must have been painful, Subaru-kun.”

“—”

“You don’t need to feel such sadness anymore, it’s okay now.”

Desperately trying to hold back, Subaru couldn’t respond as Rem continued in a sweet voice.

As if softly unraveling his heart, melting the rigid emotions within him.

“Rem will take on all your painful, difficult, and weak parts.”

“…”

“Everything you wanted to protect, to fight for, and to see through—please leave it to Rem.”

“…”

“There’s no need for you to bear it all alone. —Just leave everything to Rem and take it easy now, you can sleep.”

“…I will…”

“Please show me the Subaru-kun that I love once more.”

As Rem placed her hand on his cheek, she lifted his face to meet her gaze directly.

In a moment of hesitation, her lips pursed before slowly, Rem’s face approached him.

What was she about to do? What was coming his way? Even with his dulled senses, he understood.

So close, within a breath, the beloved girl’s lips were approaching.

Entangled, drowned, and melted together, was it really okay for him to sink into that?

—Whether it was good or bad, she was forgiving him.

How warmly her words had seeped deep into Subaru’s heart.

His rough emotions, the soul that yearned to reach out, were now saved once more by her, who understood everything about him.

In his powerlessness, Rem lent him her hand.

In his fragility, Rem firmly supported his back.

As the foolish Subaru took uncertain steps forward, Rem guided him along.

If leaning on her, clinging to her, and relying completely on her would lead him to the right answer.

How much meaning was there in struggling all alone?

Having been worn thin and losing track of his footing, unsure of which way to walk, he let go of everything, resigned himself, and entrusted it all to her.

“It’s easy to give up.”

“—”

“But—”

“—”

“—It doesn’t suit you, Subaru-kun.”

He heard a voice.

“—Subaru-kun?”

Rem’s puzzled voice reached him from right in front.

Of course, her face was blocked by the hands he had placed between their almost-touching lips.

With the sweet feeling of their tongues dancing together now far from reach, he saw pain glitter in Rem’s eyes as she wobbled.

Watching that shimmering light through his fingers, Subaru spoke.

“—Who are you?”

“Eh—?”

“I’m asking, who are you?”

“Subaru-kun, what are you… who I—”

Under Subaru’s low tone, Rem faltered with a sound like her throat was constricted.

The distress reflected in her eyes deepened, and her expression became etched with profound sorrow, which clawed at Subaru’s chest from both inside and out.

In order to mask that feeling, Subaru pressed down on his own chest, baring his fangs.

“What… do you even know what you’ve done?”

“Ekidona-chan said… it was fine as long as I spoiled you… so it would work out… but this is all just… No, I don’t want this…”

“Listen…!!”

“With everyone ganging up on me… they’re bullying me…That’s what Ekidona-chan thinks too… that’s how it is, isn’t it? It’s terrible… it’s terrible…”

“Do you not understand that I’m telling you to listen—!!”

As he tried to shout, Subaru realized he forced a hoarse voice from his lungs. Realizing that, yet the burning rage mattered more and quickly faded from his mind.

The suffocation and the urge to claw at his heart shrank against the backdrop of his anger.

He wanted to seal the whiny, self-pitying mouth, pounding every feeling of anger and pain he clutched into her, making her understand what she had done.

“—Your life is on the line if you keep this up.”

“—!?”

In that instant, Subaru heard a voice whispering in his ear, pulling him back to reality.

Suddenly, the suffocating pain from the lack of air and the cramping dryness in his open eyes surged back.

“Ah—what…?”

“It’s harsh medicine, but it’s good you made it back. —Facing off against Carmilla and the Lust Witch makes one forget to breathe. Ultimately, even the beating of a heart…”

“Eh—ha, guff… ha, haah.”

Gasping and spitting saliva, Subaru dropped to all fours, blinking rapidly.

Yet the voice reached his ears and conveyed meaning to his brain.

Thus, Subaru wiped his mouth with his sleeve and looked up at the person who set up this entire situation, baring his fangs once more.

“What are you plotting—Ekidona?”

Gazing back at Subaru, who was filled with hatred, the white-haired witch casually brushed her hair down, propping her chin on the table with a natural motion, and…

“It’s obvious, right? —I’m a witch. I do bad deeds.”

She smiled back at him.

 

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