Volume 4 Chapter 27: “Whispers”
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――For Subaru, it was a furious shout that awakened a deep sense of familiarity.
「The witch’s stench……」
Being targeted with hostility for such a reason was the second time for Subaru.
Garfiel, who could clearly sniff out what Subaru couldn’t, directed a gaze of hatred at him, as if looking upon a parental enemy.
He was already well aware of the sharpness of that gaze and the torrent of animosity it contained.
The witch’s foul odor. The lingering scent of the condemned. Those ensnared by the witch.
She had insulted Subaru, leading to a deterioration of their relationship that once intended to take his life.
「What are you standing there gaping at? Did I hit the nail on the head, and now you’re lost for words, huh?」
With his throat choked with shock and unease, Garfiel unleashed his never-ending fury upon Subaru. His hands hung limply at his sides, yet his vigilance remained intact.
The posture of his eyes glaring at Subaru’s every move had cast away the hint of the slight familiarity that should have existed between them.
「So, this witch’s stench…」
「Huh?」
「So the putrid scent that’s wafting off me is from after coming out of the graveyard—after the ‘Trial,’ right?」
「……Yeah. Until then, it wasn’t bothersome enough to notice, but the moment you returned, it started stinking like crazy. I don’t know what the hell you did in there, but I’m not trusting a guy reeking of that odor. I’m not that nice.」
With an affirmative nod to his inquiry, Subaru exhaled a short breath and closed his eyes.
The witch’s foul stench—the intensity of it clinging to Subaru had undoubtedly increased right after he finished ‘Return by Death.’
Though he had suspected it for a while, he had unconsciously avoided confirming the answer until now. He finally acknowledged a part of the truth.
――Natsuki Subaru was being ‘returned from death’ by the witch.
The reason was unclear. There shouldn’t be any relationship. However, there was a strange sense of understanding and acceptance.
It felt like he had been standing in front of a puzzle that was just one piece short, and finally, he had dubbed the answer so familiar in shape.
「What kind of connection do I even have with you? Up until I got dragged into this world, I lived a completely ordinary life without any supernatural phenomena. And since coming here, I’ve never once met the renowned witch face-to-face… Instead, I died within the first six hours of being summoned.」
The very trait of ‘Return by Death’ had been granted to Subaru as soon as he was summoned to this world.
If there was a witch’s involvement in that, then the summoning itself must also have been connected to the witch. Until now, he had never explicitly sought that answer but—
「Could it be that I can’t turn a blind eye to it anymore…」
「What the hell are you mumbling about? If you’ve got time to waste on some nonsense that makes no sense, then hurry up and go to the Cathedral and sleep it off. Don’t get me involved.」
「…Are you just going to let it slide? To you, I’m a suspicious guy who reeks of the witch. Alone with you in a deserted place at night. It’s perfect for a secret meeting or ambush.」
「Hah. I might be short-tempered, but I’m not that thoughtless… Right now, it’d be easy to rip your head off, but what would that even accomplish? If you die, that half-demon of yours will cause even more trouble, you know?」
As Subaru cocked his head in confusion, unable to decipher Garfiel’s intent, he followed with,
「But look, I don’t want to lead you any closer to the graveyard. I’m still the only one who can smell it. So, while I’m the only one aware of this foulness, the old hag and others in this cramped space could also notice it at any moment. And even more troublesome folks too.」
「More troublesome…」
「You’ve got one or two ideas about it, don’t you? That stench of yours isn’t a recent development. It has attracted those bastards who’d come closer.」
With Garfiel’s words echoing like grating teeth, Subaru sucked in a breath, realizing how many connections there were.
Garfiel, noting Subaru’s response, snorted and waved his hand as if to swat a bug.
「So, get lost already. I won’t do anything to you now. If you behave yourself tomorrow and afterward, I won’t bite. But don’t go getting near the graveyard or bothering me and the old hag unnecessarily. We both don’t want any unpleasant experiences.」
‘Mutual non-interference,’ huh? If that’s the case, you’re not going to do anything. That’s quite magnanimous of you.’
「It’s like “stepping on the tail of a grinning cat to save your life.” Get lost before I change my mind. I’d rather not have Ram hate me.」
With that name, he indicated the girl he cared for, clearly showing he had the resolve to choose. The hostility radiating from him barely restrained by extraordinary self-control clearly conveyed his intent.
Subaru still had grounds for objection or rebuttal. He could keep arguing, but—
――It would be wise to concede this time.
Deciding that, he exhaled and lowered his shoulders, taking a step back.
With his intention to advance now clear, Garfiel’s stance visibly relaxed. He squinted one eye and exhaled deeply through his nose, plopping down on the path leading to the graveyard with crossed arms while looking up at Subaru.
「That’s good. Don’t do anything unnecessary. –Starting today, I’ll spend time here until the ‘Trial’ is over. Tomorrow, the day after, and the next, morning, noon, and night, I have no intention of letting you pass beyond this point. Remember that well.」
「…Make sure to at least bathe a bit, so Ram doesn’t hate you.」
「Before my stench becomes worse than yours, make sure Emilia can clear the ‘Trial.’ –Now disappear.」
With his eyes closed, Garfiel seemed genuinely intent on sleeping right there.
He looked vulnerable, but even if Subaru were to retreat and take a longer detour through the forest to reach the graveyard, it wouldn’t be impossible.
「I think I’ll pass.」
That would probably also be part of the caution he held.
As long as Garfiel could see him, his words would be enough to stop Subaru. However, if Subaru were to act disrespectfully, Garfiel would show no mercy.
Facing someone capable of throwing a whole carriage—including Patrasche—combined with his beast-like sense of smell, Subaru found no feasible way to escape.
「So, skipping the tea party has come back to bite me, huh…」
He pressed a hand to his forehead, lamenting the unfortunate luck of not having had a chance to talk with that witch. It was true that he had no pressing questions at that moment, but that was not worth blame.
「At least for tonight, there’s nothing I can do… I need to figure out something…」
He couldn’t reach the graveyard without overcoming Garfiel. If Subaru couldn’t reach the graveyard, Emilia would have no choice but to take on the ‘Trial.’
Based on Subaru’s experiences, she wouldn’t be able to clear the ‘Trial’ within three days. If he didn’t act in those three days—
「The mansion will be attacked by Elsa. I’ll miss the opportunity to fend her off.」
Even if it was relying on others, he wanted to converse with Echidna to seek a way out. However, Garfiel would undoubtedly intervene.
Without Echidna’s input, Subaru’s attempts to clear the ‘Trial’ would also be obstructed by Garfiel.
Reflecting on this, Subaru came to a painfully simple realization: they were quite stuck.
「Hey, hey, hey… isn’t this a seriously bad situation?」
Since he couldn’t best Garfiel by skill, Subaru would have to rely on his wits—or find another way to shove him out of the way. But to do this alone was simply impossible.
「Even if I tried to gather allies… Ram and Otto are both not on my side in this situation.」
Those two were also determined that Emilia clearing the ‘Trial’ was for the best, judging everything in relation to the ‘Trial’ and the Royal Selection. Of course, if they saw Emilia wearing down over the next two days, they might change their opinions.
「But that wouldn’t be soon enough to ward off an attack. What can I possibly do…?」
There was a time lag between noticing Emilia’s struggle to clear the ‘Trial’ and Subaru’s growing sense of crisis. Urging for his participation in the ‘Trial’ too adamantly risks being perceived as lacking trust in Emilia.
Just considering how she would feel about it pains his chest. He didn’t distrust her; in fact, he was certain that given enough time, she would undoubtedly fulfill the role assigned to her.
――Could he really think that way, even after hearing about the heavy burdens she bore?
「――――」
Caught in his own dark whisper, Subaru came to a halt.
Sometimes, he could hear those whispers. A voice seemed to mock the folly of stretching out toward an ideal from the terribly shadowy parts within him.
「The ‘Trial’ continuously eats away at that girl. Yet she tries to move forward, despite the hurt, for the sake of those around her and her own wishes. Isn’t that right?」
――Can he really believe that by pushing through the pain, tears, and grievances, she will eventually find a way through and have her wishes fulfilled?
――There are wounds that don’t need to be borne, a past that doesn’t need to be faced, a past that doesn’t require expiation.
「She feels a burden, thinks she must do something about it, and that’s why she’s looking to the past, suffering because of it…」
――But is now really the time for that? Is this really just poor timing?
Is the past something to confront, or really so?
Is it absolutely necessary to atone for the sins committed, or should redemption be imposed?
The past she, along with Emilia, wished to keep hidden—if these ‘Trials’ hadn’t existed, he wouldn’t have felt the need to forcibly uncover such pasts.
Eventually, they might have had the opportunity to swallow and overcome it over time.
But was that truly right now? Was this the suitable moment?
Driven by the compulsion that something must be done, he questioned whether the answer that emerged from such a state held any true significance.
「At least I feel grateful that I’ve been able to confront my past. Somehow overcoming it, even if it’s just for my vanity, I am standing here is the answer.」
――But that was because he had been prepared to face his past, wasn’t it?
There had been a child who had hated himself deeply but still affirmed his existence with love.
Because of that child, Subaru was able to present his awkward self to his parents, expose his ugly insides, and lift his head to say goodbye.
――Is Emilia really prepared to that extent now?
By reaching even a fragment of the weight she bore, how much of the words and actions Subaru had granted her truly strengthened her?
With a notion of shallow life experience, merely whispering empty sentiments of love, how much had he truly supported her?
「…What should I do for you…?」
He loves Emilia. He wants to cherish her. He wishes to continue doing so.
He wants her to think of him favorably. He wants to be loved. He wants her to continue loving him.
Thus, he wants to bring her joy. He wants to help her. If she feels pain, suffers, and is sad, he wants to carry that burden for her.
Even if he cannot do that, even if he is not forgiven, he at least wants to be her support.
――He wants to be able to do for her what Rem had done for him.
Just like the unwavering love Rem had given him, Subaru also wants to support Emilia.
Only by doing that, he believes he could truly gain the qualification to fulfill the promise made to Rem. Therefore, what Subaru needed to do now was—
「To create the time for you to stand, the resolve to accomplish something, all the essentials… somehow make that happen for you.」
He clenched his fist and spoke out, reassessing what he needed to do, a smile inadvertently escaping his lips.
What’s this? Nothing has actually changed in terms of what he needs to do.
「Giving my all for that girl—when he spells it out, it turns out completely simple. Well, it’s necessary to be aware of the things he must do, though.」
Presently, he would focus on the problems at hand, the obstacles that come with them, and the surprising, innovative strategies to clear them.
Time wouldn’t wait. It was limited. And he could not afford to rush into incorrect conclusions. He had overlooked far too many things in the past.
「Looking down at the dire situation won’t bring about a turnaround. The longer time passes, the worse the circumstances grow, which he well realizes.」
There would absolutely be no pattern of letting events resolve themselves over time.
That was the harsh stance of this world on Subaru, and because of that, there’s also a satisfaction to struggle, resist, and confront.
「The situation is dire. Time waits for none. There’s still so much that remains unclear, but—」
That was always the norm, and everyone faced the same. Yet, what mattered was that they were given the opportunity to try again; that alone made his situation always better than before.
「I believe Natsuki Subaru’s courage will save Emilia—!」
Somehow, he would push through, giving it his all to get through this challenge.
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