“From what I’ve seen, you’re quite crazy, aren’t you?”

In the dining hall where I was led while still in a headlock, the curly-haired girl who had taken her seat first greeted me with that.

Still twisting my painful elbow, I grimaced widely and said,

“What the hell are you saying, you little brat?”

“What’s with that term? I’ve never heard it, but it already feels uncomfortable.”

“It means you’re underage and not a target of my affections. I’m not really into younger types.”

“…It’s actually kinda sad that you can talk so rudely to Betty like this.”

With a face full of pity, the girl leaned back in her chair and sighed. She picked up a glass from the table and swiftly gulped down the amber liquid.

The glass looked strikingly similar to a wine glass. No way is that alcohol, right?

Noticing my suspicious gaze, the girl smiled knowingly and turned the glass toward me.

“Oh, are you maybe interested in trying some?”

“Uh, but that’d be an indirect kiss, right? Isn’t this moving a bit too fast?”

“What’s with this innocent vibe you’re giving off? I was just trying to tease you, but now I’m the one feeling embarrassed!”

As she pointed a finger at the flustered Subaru, the girl appeared genuinely angry.

Since there were only the two of us in the dining hall at that moment, it was fair game for me. The spacious hall held a large table covered with a white cloth, lined with nearly ten chairs from the seat of honor to the more casual ones.

There were already some places set with dishes, so one of them must be mine. Simply put, it should be one of the lower seats; however,

“I’m going to purposely take a seat at the higher end.”

“What a bold choice. You do realize that’s a mistake, right?”

“Heh heh heh, this is the seat Emilia-chan usually occupies. Just thinking that my butt and that girl’s butt are indirectly sitting together is a bit exciting…”

“That’s some top-tier level perversion! It’s just gross and seriously bothersome!”

I had a lot to say, but the girl’s behavior as a natural comedian was honestly quite fun. I couldn’t help but want to see how she’d react to my unexpected perverted antics.

“So, just to clarify, these actions are definitely not my true intentions, okay? Hehehe.”

“That last laugh is entirely unconvincing. Isn’t there a limit to how much we can stall this conversation?”

As the girl held her forehead and shook her head, Subaru spun around on his chair, generating some friction heat.

“At least I’m not pushing it too far. It was pretty tough, you know?”

Reflecting on my earlier encounter where I was knocked out cold, I exaggeratedly gestured with my arms and legs to show my dissatisfaction. Remembering my total defeat in that mysterious archive, I nodded.

“Before I knew it, the number of times I lost consciousness in just two days hit a crazy level. Honestly, I’m awake less than I was during my recluse days. Some things never change.”

I might have even been lazier back then.

Watching Subaru twist his neck, the girl suppressed a yawn with an annoyed expression and said,

“The leak of mana after breaking the gate was just everywhere. I figured it was a waste to let it spill, so I drank it all. You should be thankful.”

“Isn’t it your fault that it leaked? Telling me to be grateful after you drilled a hole in the cup is a bit too much, don’t you think? I might as well be boiling tea while quoting you with a smug face!”

She waved off my complaints, tilting her glass again. With her so boldly drinking, I had no energy left to retort.

A little girl casually drinking—what a world we live in.

“And thus, she learns to party at night, living extravagantly! Now she’ll be married off in her teens… and here I am, shedding tears at the loss!”

“Don’t just make Betty the heroine of some tragic story on your own!”

“I just see you as a dumb protagonist in a bad mobile novel.”

Once, I riffled through tons of those out of boredom, but the quality was wildly variable. Around that time, I also mastered the art of gyaru writing.

Clearly, the girl couldn’t grasp the meaning of my words. With a displeased face, she lightly tapped the table with her fingers.

“Well, whatever. Anyway, don’t you have any words of gratitude for Betty?”

“Gratitude? Like ‘Thanks for the rare three-dimensional loli’s insults’? That’s not a reward in my field. It’s not just anyone, okay?”

“Why are you the one angry? It should be Betty who’s furious! Who helped you when you were on the brink of death…”

With the girl’s voice trailing off, Subaru responded, “Huh?” However, before she could provide a clear answer, the door to the dining hall opened.

“Excuse us, esteemed guest. We are here to serve your meal.”

“Excuse us, esteemed guest. We will finish serving the dishes and tea shortly.”

The twin maids entered the room with a cart.

The blue-haired one pushed a cart filled with standard breakfast items like salad and bread, while the pink-haired one had plates and cutlery on hers.

They quickly split to either side of the table and began serving with synchronized movements. The table was decorated with steaming dishes, and my stomach involuntarily grumbled at the warm aroma.

“Oh, nice, nice! This truly looks like a noble’s dining spread. I was afraid it’d end up being some bizarre food from another world!”

Considering this was a different world, it was possible that the dishes could be quite unusual. There was even a chance that insects could be the main course here.

If that were the case, I’d have no choice but to cut ties with worldly matters entirely.

“Seriously, I absolutely cannot handle bugs. Why do they even exist? It’s beyond me what kind of life they lead. The only purpose I can think of is teaching kids the value of life by having them slaughter them.”

“If you oppress the weak, when you become weak, the strong will treat you the same way. That’s where the lesson lies. Would you mind quieting down, weakling?”

The little girl, now poised like an elegant lady, responded with a theatrical line to keep me in check.

I couldn’t stand that kind of refinement any longer; combined with my hunger, my irritation reached its peak.

“I can’t hold out any longer!”

“You’re lacking in elegance! Can’t you wait more gracefully and genteelly?”

“I won’t take advice on this from a toddler drinking alcohol! Hey, Meishi! Meishi!”

Clanging the knife and fork in my hands, my rudeness finally got on the girl’s nerves. The glass she set down trembled ominously, ready to point something at me with an unusual energy.

However, before her hand could reach me—

“Ah, how lively you are! That’s a good thing, indeed!”

A cheerful-looking pervert suddenly popped up.

He was dressed more flamboyantly than before, having changed from formal attire to something garishly colorful. Incredibly outlandish, he was the same unparalleled oddball.

—Indeed, without a doubt, a pervert.

Roswaal joyfully looked at the Subaru clanging the dishes and then raised an eyebrow as he quietly glanced at the girl, who was now leaning over her glass.

“Oh, it’s rare to see Beatrice here. Have you decided to join me at the table after so long?”

“The only one happy in this situation is that fool over there. Betty is just here to get a meal with her big brother.”

Cutting off the lovesick Roswaal, the girl—Beatrice’s gaze shifted behind him. Entering was Emilia, her silver hair shimmering as she approached.

“Sis!”

Brightly standing up, the girl rushed forward, swaying her long skirt. Her face bloomed with a joyful smile that made me forget all the rude things I’d previously thought of her.

Finally, she was acting her age, and as she jogged up, the gray cat who’d been hidden in her silver hair popped out. Relaxing his face, he greeted her.

“Hey there. Betty, it’s been two days. Have you been behaving like a lady?”

“I’ve been looking forward to seeing you, Big Brother! You’re not planning to go anywhere today, are you?”

“Nope, we’re all good. Let’s take it easy today.”

“Yay!”

As the cat, Pack, fluttered out from Emilia’s hair and landed on Beatrice’s palm, she twirled around with the little cat in her arms.

Watching the cheerful interaction between the two leaves me stunned, while Emilia joined me with an amused smile.

“Surprised, right? Betty is so clingy with Pack.”

“More surprised by how that brat acts. Isn’t she overly acting sweet around the cat?”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

She brushed off my comment before tilting her head and peering at the higher seat I was occupying with a puzzled look.

“That seat…”

“Oh yeah! You know how a cold seat can chill your heart, right? So I’m running a ‘be your blanket’ campaign and warming it up for you. Totally not aiming for an indirect sit-down or anything!”

“Sorry, but I really don’t understand what you’re saying… that’s Roswaal’s seat, by the way?”

With that blunt dismissal of my excuse, I was crushed with despair when the realization hit.

While it’s natural for the house owner to sit at the top seat, I had overlooked that obvious fact in my momentary excitement and made a total fool of myself.

I’m officially named “青二才・オブ・ジ・イヤー” (Young Fool of the Year).

“But I’m the kind of guy who won’t fall without getting something in return. So, I guess it’s time to bet it all on tomorrow!!”

“And you really don’t have to take my seat. I’m just not into that.”

“God is dead—!”

Subaru ended up slamming the floor with tears.

There’s no hope left in this world, no future, as despair washed over me.

Then suddenly, someone gently tapped my shoulder. The warmth emanating from the hand gave me comfort, and I looked up, seeing a bright, shining hope—

“I’ll make sure to thoroughly enjoy your warmth.”

As I heard that suave dude say this, I spat on the chair without hesitation.

“I’d rather do that than let my butt heat defile it!”

“Oh, such quick decision-making, what a surprise! But here.”

With a triumphant smile, Roswaal suggested, pointing with a finger at the chair. His eyes glanced down at my spit, confirming its existence before snapping his fingers.

—In that instant, I watched as the spit vanished right before me.

“Oh?!”

Not believing what I just saw, I instinctively reached for the seat.

There was no residue of liquid at all; only a slight warm sensation left on the chair.

“Did it… evaporate?”

I had to conclude that the heat of the chair and the disappearance of my spit were linked.

Listening to my conclusion, Roswaal whistled in admiration.

“Ah, you got that quickly! I just used a tiny bit of fire mana to temporarily raise the temperature there.”

“What the heck, how can you make that sound so easy? Wait a minute—are you really just a normal pervert?”

“More or less, I’m the chief court magician of the Lugnica Kingdom.”

Emilia responded while I was stammering “Hitoma Majutsushi” (great magician) in my mind while staring at Roswaal.

Roswaal posed dramatically to match my gaze and spun around, even though I hadn’t asked him to.

Realizing the contrast between his words and actions…

“You don’t trust me, do you?”

“No way could I believe that! Yep! I believe it now! I believe it!”

“Honestly, I’m not bothered if you don’t believe me.”

Learning fast from my time with Subaru, Emilia threw in the towel on trying to convince me.

As I settled into newfound joy, I noticed Emilia taking a chair at a different spot from the higher seat. That must be her regular spot.

Deciding that no one else would join our mealtime, I figured the remaining seats—excluding the higher seat, Emilia’s, and Beatrice’s—were meant for me. That left a somewhat awkward positioning away from Emilia yet away from the higher seat.

Trying to (mis)use a huge table mostly led to an unbalanced arrangement like this.

“This is frankly pretty boring.”

Muttering, I gathered the cutlery from my designated seat and started to move them. Obviously, I aimed for—

“Excuse me?”

“Trust me, trust me, just believe in Terry.”

“Who the heck is Terry?”

Emilia looked at me, bewildered, as I settled beside her.

Ignoring her confused response, I pulled the salad and bread over to my side. Successfully snagging the spot right next to her, I said,

“This is way better! Instead of eating all alone, let’s eat together, right? If you’ve got any disliked veggies, don’t hesitate to toss them onto my plate!”

“How about green peppers? …Wait a minute, that’s not the point. Your manners…”

“Being uptight and not enjoying your meal feels counterintuitive, doesn’t it? Plus, eating next to a girl is definitely more delicious; I’m not budging on this! So, what do you think, Rozu-chin?”

Maybe green veggies were a no-go for her, but I cheerfully teased Emilia, moving my attention to Roswaal, who was staring at me intently.

Roswaal pointed at himself, responding,

“Could it be that you’re talking about me?”

“Who else could it be? Rozu-chin! Come on, this seems to be coming together nicely.”

Roswaal chuckled at my affirmation and turned to face the more disgruntled Emilia.

“Isn’t this nice, Emilia-sama? Proper etiquette is important, but being overly cautious among familiar faces makes enjoying a meal difficult. Ah, he’s right.”

Roswaal’s words probably deemed it confirmed as the house head.

Emilia sighed, while Ram and Rem, who had been waiting, began bringing in dish after dish. The table soon filled with steaming food, and in no time, our breakfast spread was complete.

“Now then, let’s eat. —Oh, wood, oh, wind, oh, stars, oh mother earth…”

Roswaal clasped his hands together, closing his eyes to begin mumbling something. Emilia and the twins followed suit. Beatrice, returning to her seat, simply closed her eyes, which I realized was a cue for a pre-meal prayer, so I hurried to imitate their actions too.

The universal act of a Christian prayer seems to hold even here in my new world, which honestly surprised me.

From the earnestness of their prayer, it almost felt like Roswaal and Emilia had a deep faith. The twins appeared to perform these duties with practiced grace. Quite the opposite, Beatrice had a lackadaisical attitude about it.

“Alright then, Subaru-kun. Do give it a try. Despite how it looks, Rem’s cooking is quite something!”

Encouraged by Roswaal, I belatedly realized the prayer was over and joined in on the meal. The menu was probably a salad and some sort of toast topped with a ham-like substance. It sounded vague, but it definitely gave off the air of a common western breakfast.

Even up close, nothing felt off, so I sighed in relief. Thanking the heavens for the lack of bizarre ingredients, I bit into the toast-like item.

“Mmm… this is better than average.”

When I looked up to voice my opinion, the blue-haired maid at the table made a fox gesture with her fingers. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but maybe it was something akin to a peace sign in this world. I reciprocated with a hand sign of a frog.

“Was this dish made by the blue-haired one… um, is it okay to call you Rem-chan?”

“Yes, that’s correct. Our family’s dining is generally overseen by Rem. My older sister isn’t very good at it.”

“Aha! A familiar trope where each twin has different skills, huh? Then the pink-haired one is probably no good at cooking but excels at cleaning?”

“Yes, that’s right. My sister is rather good at cleaning and laundry compared to other chores.”

“So, Rem-chan is good at cooking but not as good with cleaning and laundry, right?”

“No, Rem is proficient in all household chores. Her skills in cleaning and laundry surpass that of my sister.”

“The point of having the pink-haired maid just went poof, huh?!”

One twin is great at all chores, while the other excels at only cleaning—now that’s a refreshing twist for twins.

Admittedly harsh, but Ram, the pink-haired sister, didn’t seem bothered at all. Going without correction implies it’s a fact, but her calm demeanor just raised questions.

“Or maybe they specialize in different realms? Perhaps Ram-chan is a combat specialist… or maybe she has nighttime duties?! Aah, I’m starving for all sorts of things tonight!”

“Sis, sis. The customer has some unfounded suspicion about you.”

“Rem, Rem. The customer has depicted you in quite a scandalous manner.”

With spicy thoughts swirling, the twins dramatically clasped their hands together in mock despair. Watching their interaction while Roswaal chuckled softly,

“Isn’t this lovely? It’s just that Ram and Rem have such strong personalities that newcomers often hesitate around them.”

“If the master is so riddled with flaws, then there’s no way I’d fret over the servants’ quirks. Besides, it’s fantasy, so it’s all permitted—at least for me right now.”

“But there’s no denying their capabilities. Folks often overlook that.”

Interjecting smoothly, Emilia continued with a somewhat disgruntled tone as she sipped her soup.

“Truthfully, they both are amazing. Almost single-handedly managing this gigantic mansion, yet folks care so little about their race or background.”

“Seems like some complex feelings are stirring in you.”

After casually observing the righteous spark in Emilia’s eyes, I continued.

“I just caught you mentioning that you only have two staff members in this mansion.”

“Ah, yes, that’s about right. It’s just Ram and Rem left.”

“Seriously? Managing this enormous mansion with only two people is insane! Long before focusing on quality, they will absolutely die from overwork. Or is there a restriction like ‘not hiring more help’ due to some situation?”

To my question, Roswaal fell silent for a moment, placing his hands on the table. He wore a smile, but I could sense a shift in his gaze as he looked at me.

I had a feeling I might have just hit a nerve, and while munching on the freshly served dessert, I took a bite out of the long-awaited Linga fruit.

The sweet fruit filled my mouth with a soft, delightful sensation.

 

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