At first glance, Saori’s hands were trembling. I was surprisingly amazed that she was getting so angry for my sake after hearing Hoshino’s words.
Someone who tries to protect others at the cost of their own worth, that’s Saori for you.
But in this case, I just couldn’t picture Saori’s words reaching Hoshino. If she could soothe the deep scars etched into Hoshino’s heart with just this much, she would have overcome them long before meeting the teacher.
“It was you, wasn’t it? The kids that Mika mentioned wanting to help separately. Right, Saori?”
“…I can’t be sure, but I’m guessing that’s what we’re talking about. We existed only to be used by adults until we met a tragic end, raised as tools. Everyone at the Arius Branch was saved thanks to the hand Mika first reached out.”
“…Adults, huh.”
Hoshino, who had been frowning for a moment, clicked her tongue and pressed Saori.
“If that’s the case, you must already understand what I mean, right? As long as your benefactor Mika chases an unreachable ideal of everyone’s happiness, stumbling along the way is inevitable. Someone will mock it as foolish, and some will even intentionally trip you up to hinder you.”
“Those obstacles don’t matter; our Arius Squad can clear them away.”
“…Wishing for everyone’s happiness means offering faith to those who inherently don’t deserve it. Believing that Mika won’t get hurt in the process is the mindset of a naive child. I wouldn’t want the person who helped me to live as a fool and get hurt, so I’m trying to stop her from walking such a thorny path…!”
“That’s also contradictory. The help you received was possible precisely because Mika chose to live as a fool. Do you think it’s okay for someone who received help to dismiss that path while worrying about it?”
Hoshino’s passionate words were unusual, and Saori, who seemed quite fired up, countered.
“Um, Mika? Shouldn’t we step in soon…?”
“Umm…”
Nonomi, who was sitting next to me, whispered in concern, glancing at Hoshino.
Now that I think about it, has Nonomi even seen Hoshino like this? Even if she heard about Hoshino’s losses and pain, knowing that Nonomi remembers Yume, I doubt Hoshino would have acted this way in front of her junior.
Anyway, is it really a good thing to stop those two as Nonomi suggested? Wishing for everyone to hold hands and get along is somewhat similar to hoping everyone will be happy, but there’s an essential difference.
The former is somewhat akin to erasing personal identities. Understanding is necessary because we’re all different beings, and conflicts often arise in that process.
In that regard, controlling the conflict that arises from the differing viewpoints of these two would be wrong.
Instead, it might be better for Saori, who is in a similar position, to lead the conversation rather than me refuting Hoshino.
“I think it’s okay to watch a little longer, Nonomi-chan.”
“Is that so…?”
As long as they aren’t pointing guns at each other, I think it’s fine. If the situation seems to heat up that much, there’s still time to intervene.
“Think rationally. How much longer do you plan to keep being soft?”
“Being soft? What a ridiculous remark! Why do you say such things about Mika when you know nothing about her, only judging based on snippets? You don’t know at all how hard she has worked to realize her ideals—”
“Don’t make me laugh. Hard work? Do you think every problem in the world is solved by mere effort? There are no such fortunate situations in this world!”
“Oh? Are you talking about the revival of Abydos? If that’s the case, then yes, it certainly falls under your definition of an impossible fortunate situation. It’s something that would be hard to realize unless a miracle occurs.”
“…If such a thing happens, that would indeed be a miracle. But miracles don’t generally happen, which is why we call them miracles. I can assert that miracles do not exist. Living with such expectations is the mark of the worst fool.”
“What’s so bad about that?”
“…What?”
“After trying everything I could, what’s wrong with hoping for a miracle at the very end? Even I, who was trained as a tool to kill, who was trampled until I stopped resisting, was secretly hoping for a miracle deep down in my heart. If you call that the worst kind of fool, then sure. I’m not denying it.”
Hoshino stared at Saori in silence. The venom in her eyes had somewhat subsided. Finally speaking, Hoshino’s tone was much gentler than before.
“…You want to say that the mere fact Mika reached out her hand to you was a miracle for you, right?”
“I didn’t specifically want to say that, but it’s true for not just me, but the entire Arius. The way Mika showed herself during that process could indeed be seen as foolish.”
No, hey, Saori? Why are you hitting me again out of nowhere?
With such thoughts in mind, I glared at Saori sharply, and she caught my gaze like a ghost and smirked.
“Being indebted to that fool for the life of a cherished person. For someone like me, who even owes my life to her, it’s absurd to deny Mika’s foolishness. Rather, I’m prepared to protect that fool by smashing through every obstacle that blocks her path, even if it costs me my life.”
“…I see. That part was the difference between you and me, Saori.”
“Indeed, it seems you projected someone’s image onto Mika. That’s disrespectful. If you intend to deny the path she chose, at least look at her in her entirety and understand everything before denying her.”
Wow… hearing Saori talk like this makes me feel really awkward. I wondered if she was unusually sentimental, but thinking about how the other Squad members and the Mob Students from the Arius Branch behave makes me feel kind of unsettled.
Aren’t they practically a religious group that follows me? You should be worshipping the primal divinity, not me.
While I was thinking that, Hoshino suddenly let out a sigh and tightly shut her eyes. Rubbing her eyelids with her hands, she opened her eyes again, now devoid of venom.
“…This year, there are only two students in Abydos. Me and Nonomi here. Just the two of us are keeping the legacy of Abydos alive. To be honest, I never expected any new students to enroll this year. I was a bit moved, though I didn’t show it back then.”
Hoshino, speaking thus, looked exhausted. No matter how strong-willed Hoshino is among the students in Kivotos, overcoming such difficult times wouldn’t have been easy for her.
“Last year, there were only two students in Abydos too. The greatest fool, the Student Council President, and the not-so-great fool, me.”
Listening to Hoshino’s words as she began to talk about Yume, I finally realized. The saying she mentioned, “A fool hurts those around them and always ends up losing,” was actually a reference to herself.
From what Hoshino is about to say… it’s a story about a foolish person who never lost their smile even in the toughest situations, always envisioned a hopeful future, and remained optimistic until the end, contrasted with another fool who inflicted pain on her by dismissing those dreams.
“Can you imagine? The situation when the class bottom fool was pushed into becoming the Student Council President. Under the immense pressure of having to support an academy on the brink of collapse, that fool senior managed to endure. Yet she was kind enough to look after even a newcomer.”
A bittersweet smile formed on Hoshino’s lips. Reflecting on everything after it all ended, she must have realized just how many things she had lost, way more than she ever imagined.
And I can easily guess that she thought her inability to express the words that needed to be said to Yume, who always tried to remain kind to her, was a significant fault of her own.
“But that newcomer was an even bigger fool. She casually trampled on the consideration of that senior fool, who had to bear such pressure. Haha… If that senior was the best fool, then I was, quite simply, the worst fool.”
“Hoshino-senpai…”
“…Indeed. I should apologize to Nonomi too. Knowing full well why you chose Abydos when you could have easily enrolled in a place like Trinity, I failed to be a proper senpai for you. I’m sorry, Nonomi.”
“No, senpai… You don’t need to apologize to me! It’s not that I don’t understand how much you’ve struggled!”
“But that shouldn’t serve as an excuse for neglecting you. I feel pathetic myself.”
As Hoshino shook her head, her ponytail swayed. The fact that she grew her hair out like that was a testament to how strong she really was, wanting to be more like Yume.
“I sincerely apologize, Mika. I didn’t see you for who you really are, but instead saw you as merely a reflection of others. The fact that I lost that senior was entirely due to my foolishness… and the responsibility lies solely with me for not protecting that weak senior.”
“No, it’s okay. In a way, that could be seen as wanting to protect me, right? If it’s just that, then I can’t dislike it. I actually feel sorry that I couldn’t be of more help to you, Hoshino-chan, who must have struggled so much.”
“…You’re really alike. I can’t help but think that the two of you would have fit absolutely beautifully.”
…Should I like that, or not like that?
I know Yume is a great person, but she’s a fool too. Hearing that she would have matched well with her stirs up mixed feelings.
Amidst this, after a moment of silence, Saori hesitantly spoke up.
“…I have something to ask. You said you lost that senior—”
Wait a second. No, Saori! Don’t ask that! If you do, you’ll tear apart too…!
Of all the landmines to step on. Why did you have to do that, Saori, who is usually so reliable but sometimes clueless like this?
“…She died. She’s now someone I can never see again.”
Oh? But surprisingly, Hoshino’s reaction was quite subdued. I wonder if sharing her story has helped her settle her heart.
On the contrary, it was Saori who was startled by that subdued reaction. She must have realized that what she just said would poke at Hoshino’s wound.
But then.
“I’m so sorry!!!”
Saori suddenly stood up and banged her head into the sand. With her toes sticking out of her sandals, she struggled to stand straight.
“Uh… Um, what’s going on here? I’m a bit confused, you know~.”
“This is, ugh, a genuflection… Normally, it’s a gesture of utmost respect… but…! It’s sometimes used to convey sincere apologies… I heard it from Azusa…!”
Watching Saori, who was explaining this while standing on her hands, I quietly rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes.
Azusa, I told you to stop showing me that damn Bamboo Grove… It’s a hellhole…!